My DS is 19 months, and has never been hit/spanked. He is a generally sweet/loving kid. He will hug/kiss his doll, bears, etc., and sometimes other kids. But recently he has started hitting/pushing. I know that a lot of toddlers do this, but thought I might get some advice on how best to deal with it.
So far I have dealt with it by trying not to overreact. I will say "That hurt X. Hitting hurts. Look, X is sad because you hit him." and then attend to the other child. Usually when I do this, DS will come over and hug or pat the other person. Sometimes give them a kiss. I am glad he does this, without me asking him to, because I think it means he wants to make them feel better?
At home last night, he picked up a block while we were playing and hit DH with it. As usual, I said "That hurt daddy. We don't hit people." and tried to redirect him to hit the block against another block, since it seemed he was just being playful. That didn't work, and he tried to hit him again (I stopped him). Then I said "If you hit again, we will put the blocks away." and when he tried it again, I quickly put all the blocks in the basket and put them out of his sight. He didn't seem to care, so he probably was done with them anyway
But today, we were at a friend's house. He is around this boy a lot, and they are the same age. DS took a wooden hammer and hit his friend right in the forehead, so hard that it immediately swelled up. I felt horrible. I was so angry at DS and I felt like, as I repeated what I usually say, that it just wasn't working.
As usual, when he saw his friend crying he looked sad and wanted to hug/kiss him. At the same time he looked at me, as if he wanted my approval for his actions.
I'm just not sure if what I'm doing is working, or if I need to try something else, or if this is just a phase and I should just try harder to remove all hammer-like objects in his reach!
Any advice?
So far I have dealt with it by trying not to overreact. I will say "That hurt X. Hitting hurts. Look, X is sad because you hit him." and then attend to the other child. Usually when I do this, DS will come over and hug or pat the other person. Sometimes give them a kiss. I am glad he does this, without me asking him to, because I think it means he wants to make them feel better?
At home last night, he picked up a block while we were playing and hit DH with it. As usual, I said "That hurt daddy. We don't hit people." and tried to redirect him to hit the block against another block, since it seemed he was just being playful. That didn't work, and he tried to hit him again (I stopped him). Then I said "If you hit again, we will put the blocks away." and when he tried it again, I quickly put all the blocks in the basket and put them out of his sight. He didn't seem to care, so he probably was done with them anyway
But today, we were at a friend's house. He is around this boy a lot, and they are the same age. DS took a wooden hammer and hit his friend right in the forehead, so hard that it immediately swelled up. I felt horrible. I was so angry at DS and I felt like, as I repeated what I usually say, that it just wasn't working.
As usual, when he saw his friend crying he looked sad and wanted to hug/kiss him. At the same time he looked at me, as if he wanted my approval for his actions.I'm just not sure if what I'm doing is working, or if I need to try something else, or if this is just a phase and I should just try harder to remove all hammer-like objects in his reach!
Any advice?
