Mean teacher caught on tape - Page 5

[Heffernhyphen]

Originally Posted by aran

Heffernhyphen - have you spoken to a student this way?

Honestly? No, I'm not much the type for long-winded lectures and character attacks. When I lose it, which I do from time to time . . . even though I only teach sweet, innocent five-year-olds . . . I tend to get much more heated up and much more sarcastic. I know five-year-olds don't even get sarcasm, but it sometimes helps me. For instance, if we've been in class for 10 months, doing the same procedure every stinking day, and a kid acts like it's the first day of school, I will extend my hand and introduce myself, "Hi, I'm Ms Heffernhyphen; I'll be your teacher this year."

I know, it's shitty, but it helps me.

I wouldn't say, "You're ignorant." But I have said, "Are you thinking?! Was that a good idea?!" My words may be a bit nicer than hers, but my tone is much worse when I'm good and fired up.

[blessed]

So you model poor anger management and pretty sub par social skills for a classroom of five year olds.

Fantastic.

[SheepNumber97245]

Originally Posted by Heffernhyphen

Honestly? No, I'm not much the type for long-winded lectures and character attacks. When I lose it, which I do from time to time . . . even though I only teach sweet, innocent five-year-olds . . . I tend to get much more heated up and much more sarcastic. I know five-year-olds don't even get sarcasm, but it sometimes helps me. For instance, if we've been in class for 10 months, doing the same procedure every stinking day, and a kid acts like it's the first day of school, I will extend my hand and introduce myself, "Hi, I'm Ms Heffernhyphen; I'll be your teacher this year."

I know, it's shitty, but it helps me.

I wouldn't say, "You're ignorant." But I have said, "Are you thinking?! Was that a good idea?!" My words may be a bit nicer than hers, but my tone is much worse when I'm good and fired up.

Have you considered working with older kids? I'm not being sardonic or insulting. But older kids tend to laugh off remarks like that, where as saying that to a young child might make them feel stupid.

[chfriend]

Heffernhyphen: There are a couple of threads here on MDC which might be a help to you. There's parenting and rage thread in Personal Growth and an "I'm a new mama today" thread in Gentle Discipline.

Maybe give them a look over to see if you might be able to find some good, self-nurturing coping strategies to help you respond in a constructive way when you're feeling hard pressed.

[peacenlove]

I thought that "teachers" were suppose to be held up to a higher standard than other professionals.

There is no excuse for this behavior. period.

[MattBronsil]

Originally Posted by Heffernhyphen

Honestly? No, I'm not much the type for long-winded lectures and character attacks. When I lose it, which I do from time to time . . . even though I only teach sweet, innocent five-year-olds . . . I tend to get much more heated up and much more sarcastic. I know five-year-olds don't even get sarcasm, but it sometimes helps me.

Are you in your job to help them or are you in your job to help you?

For instance, if we've been in class for 10 months, doing the same procedure every stinking day, and a kid acts like it's the first day of school, I will extend my hand and introduce myself, "Hi, I'm Ms Heffernhyphen; I'll be your teacher this year."

I know, it's shitty, but it helps me.

Are you in your job to help the students? Or are you in your job to help you?

I wouldn't say, "You're ignorant." But I have said, "Are you thinking?! Was that a good idea?!" My words may be a bit nicer than hers, but my tone is much worse when I'm good and fired up.

So what steps are you taking to correct that problem?

[MattBronsil]

Originally Posted by Heffernhyphen

Honestly? No, I'm not much the type for long-winded lectures and character attacks. When I lose it, which I do from time to time . . . even though I only teach sweet, innocent five-year-olds . . . I tend to get much more heated up and much more sarcastic. I know five-year-olds don't even get sarcasm, but it sometimes helps me. For instance, if we've been in class for 10 months, doing the same procedure every stinking day, and a kid acts like it's the first day of school, I will extend my hand and introduce myself, "Hi, I'm Ms Heffernhyphen; I'll be your teacher this year."

I know, it's shitty, but it helps me.

I wouldn't say, "You're ignorant." But I have said, "Are you thinking?! Was that a good idea?!" My words may be a bit nicer than hers, but my tone is much worse when I'm good and fired up.

Tone is more important than words, but both are critical.

See the same things at 10 months that you saw on day 1? That's common. The children get comfortable and resort back to old habits. They also get a little bored and go back to those habits. It's time to change the layout of the classroom (moving the shelves can make all the difference in the world) to counter act the boredom. To fight the old habits, they just need another presentation on the right way to handle things.

There's a difference between a bad tone and a very direct tone. It's impossible to type the difference, but there's a way you can be very direct and very serious with a 5 year old and still be appropriate.

At the very least, turning into a sarcastic person just sets the behavior back. As frustrated as a teacher can get, we need to keep that in mind. If we react like we are frustrated, we help set that mood of frustration.

I've found it best to focus exactly on what the problem is and focus on exactly how to solve the problem. If a child did a table scrubbing activity and left water all over the floor, I would bring the child over to the table and just say, "I noticed you just did this work. Do you see anything you forgot to clean up?" It's not a sarcastic tone. It's not a harsh tone. It's actually rather unemotional either way. It's just a very basic way I say it.

I see this teacher as a sign of a bigger problem. It seems many teachers are not taught how to try to diagnose behaviors at all! For me, a child who is having trouble behaving a certain way means I have to really take the time to step up and ask, "Why is this child behaving that way?"

If a child is hitting, biting, kicking, etc. the worst thing to do is make the environment a terrible place for him. Those behaviors may be easily caused by the way the teacher was acting.

[mamahart]

I can tell that one of the posters is getting pretty schooled on this thread and I do believe in having compassion for others and I do, BUT what the heck?!?!? Be sarcastic with your own kids and stay away from mine!!
Matt is right about kindergarten students doing a sort of regress at certain points and thats when it is ok to harass them to make yourself feel better?
I will say again that I have walked out of a classroom in frustration before being shitty to a kid.
I am just being convinced that I will NEVER feel comfortable sending my kids back to school. I am going to do my very best to NEVER let them endure this sort of serious abuse. I feel like this is more common than people really realize and I am scared scared scared.

[bigeyes]

FWIW, I can think of a couple of teachers I had who were bullies who singled kids out and encouraged others in class to gang up on them. I've also seen it in the workplace.

I don't think it's uncommon at all.

Most people just look the other way and are grateful it isn't happening to them.

[SheepNumber97245]

Originally Posted by bigeyes

FWIW, I can think of a couple of teachers I had who were bullies who singled kids out and encouraged others in class to gang up on them. I've also seen it in the workplace.

I don't think it's uncommon at all.

I agree. I remember teachers like that too. I also remember having my parents talk to the principal (before i started 1st grade) about making sure i had "Mrs. Buddenburg" because she was the nice teacher and the other first grade teacher had a reputation of being mean. I was shy and sensitive and they didn't want me getting stuck with her.


For those of you who are teachers, i'm sure you'd agree that not only do you effect the young ones in your class room, but when you act like that you get a reputation in your community.

[LauraLoo]

Definition of Sarcasm
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Sarcasm[A] is stating the opposite of an intended meaning especially in order to sneeringly, slyly, jest or mock a person, situation or thing. It is strongly associated with irony, with some definitions classifying it as a type of verbal irony intended to insult or wound.

[Heffernhyphen]

Originally Posted by MattBronsil

Are you in your job to help them or are you in your job to help you?

I'm in it for the money, the glamor, and all the respect.

See, there it is again.

[LiamnEmma]

Be sarcastic with your own kids and stay away from mine!!

You said it!

I'm always shocked that we expect these little kids, kinder, first, second, even older students to keep it together, show self control, and when they don't, the teachers, who are PAID to keep it together, lose it and become mocking, mean and even verbally abusive. As I once said to a previous principal at my children's school, "I reserve the right to verbally abuse my children myself, I do not waive that right to your teachers." I'm paid a fair amount of money to maintain professionalism during my working (i.e., school hours) day with children. I think it's fair to expect all people paid to work with children to do the same.

[LiamnEmma]

Originally Posted by Heffernhyphen

I'm in it for the money, the glamor, and all the respect.

See, there it is again.

Except that we're grown-ups, and we have our own power and ability to appropriately understand your intent and escape from it as we choose. A five or six year old has no real power or control. Better to use it lovingly and model acceptance while thinking whatever sarcastic thought you want to in your mind.

[WC_hapamama]

Originally Posted by anne1140

I do believe she should get fired. One of my friends is a sixth grade teacher, and she was asking a child one day which teachers he had. He mentioned that he liked all of his teachers except his first grade teacher, because she called him stupid. Yeah, that stuck with him for 5 years, and it will probably stick with him forever. I can't imagine how this kindergartener feels, even if he was a difficult child.

I had a really wretched 4th grade teacher who for the entire second half of the school year, stuck me and 2 other students in the back of the classroom and pretty much ignored us. We were not told about field trips, and the "end of the year awards" that she gave us were pretty mean spirited.

Thankfully she no longer teaches, hasn't for years, but that experience has stuck with me. That was 20 odd years ago and I still remember feeling like a discard. I wasn't disruptive, I simply didn't do my spelling homework on a regular basis.

I volunteer a lot up at my kids' school, and I've gotten to know most of the teachers very well. I volunteer both in and out of the classroom

Even when a student is really being disruptive, they don't belittle the kids. Typically a truly disruptive child gets sent to the office, and if necessary spends time with the principal and/or the school counselor, and there are kids I see in that office once a week.

If a student

[MattBronsil]

Originally Posted by Heffernhyphen

I'm in it for the money, the glamor, and all the respect.

See, there it is again.

It was one teacher to another giving you a reminder and pointing out that when you do things to make yourself feel better that harm the child, you're doing the wrong thing.

If a child does something that frustrates you, wait until ALL the children have left, the school is empty, and then vent about him to a coworker who can shed a little sense of humor into the situation.

Then be sure to tell the coworker what you really love about the child.

If a child is ALWAYS on your nerves, be sure to tell the child what you love about him or her. Do it daily and find new things every day. You'll be amazed at how differently you handle those situations and how their behavior on those things that drives you nuts changes.

I might be wrong, but I thought these things are just common instinct to teachers of this age. I know we all need reminders, but I always believed our #1 job is to respect the children.

[momtokea]

MattBronsil, you sound like a FABULOUS teacher. Wanna teach my kids?

Heffernhyphen, all I can do is shake my head ... wow, scary ....
Hate to be the one to break it to you, but teaching is not about you ....

[sofiabugmom]

Originally Posted by Heffernhyphen

I wouldn't say, "You're ignorant." But I have said, "Are you thinking?! Was that a good idea?!" My words may be a bit nicer than hers, but my tone is much worse when I'm good and fired up.

If I found out a teacher said these words to my daughter, I'd pull DD out of that school so fast it would cause a time warp. That pair of questions is insulting.

I wouldn't call for a lawsuit, I don't know if I'd call for the teacher to be suspended or fired (just being honest, I'd have to see what else was going on), but I sure as *&! would be talking to the teacher and administration about why I removed my child from the school.

And in that conversation, I'd probably be a snarky and put the words right back at the teacher, since that teacher was obviously NOT thinking and her choice of words was NOT a good idea.

Originally Posted by Heffernhyphen

I know, it's shitty, but it helps me.

And only you, certainly not the children.

[SarahGuinn]

Heffern, you have no right to be sarcastic to other people's children. It is confusing for those that aren't exposed to it. You need to be out of small children's classrooms and into high elementary grade if that's your coping mechanism.

Acting like it's the first day? Like forgetting procedure or where something goes or forgetting a rule? You mean acting like a five year old?

I just pulled my son out of a school with 19 days left because of a teacher who sounds very similar to you, except she also had no inner censor and would say everything that came to her mind, wounding people left and right, adult and child under the guise of sacasm more often than not. She also has no place in a five year old's class room.

If you are so motivated by pay, get another job. They aren't products, they're little children. You scare me.

[LauraN]

I pulled my DS out of kindergarten in February because, among other reasons, his teacher was sarcastic and rude to the kids.

I know teachers are overworked and underpaid (and underappreciated). But they don't get to take it out on my kid.