How to talk about feelings with A 3 YO?

[glowan1]

My DD is almost 3 yo and DH and I are struggling a bit about how to talk to her about feelings. She is not the most verbal child. She can understand a lot, but has a hard time verbalizing her feelings. Some of this is due to her verbal skills but some also seems to be due to her avoiding the subject. She literally changes the subject if we try to name feelings and what they feel like, etc.

Many aspects of GD rely on talking about feelings and I SO want to be able to use those tools. But DD does not want to talk about her feelings or how others may feel in a situation. Hmmm. It is almost like she is embarrassed to discuss feelings. If we are in a "situation" and I want to tell her how I/other kid/dog may feel "frustrated"/"mad"/"sad" she laughs almost like she is enjoying someone else's feeling bad.

Often she is incredibly empathic, but it is becoming more frequent that she is not. How can we help her get more in touch with her feelings and those of others?

[allgirls]

I started generally pointing out other people's feelings...I would hear a baby cry and say "oh that baby is sad" or a toddler screaming and say "oh, he's really mad" and I would talk about my feelings "that makes me frustrated" or "I really love you right now" and after a while they could apply what I meant to how they were feeling.

So point out a lot of other people's feelings for a while and maybe when there isn't much focus on it with regard to herself she might start responding better. Sometimes kids just push back if they are not quite ready.

[ktmama]

My dd2 is really responding to pictures in books and not just books about feelings but just illustrations of different emotions that happen in the course of a story. There's also a great book that we have called "L is for Loving" that has a whole alphabet of different emotions. Just let her set the pace and introduce it gently. If she resists, don't push. You can also name emotions for her - "Wow, you seem really excited!" or "Oh, honey, you look so sad". Good luck.

[Fuamami]

I just checked out (by accident) this book:

http://www.amazon.com/When-Feel-Jeal...2127273&sr=8-1

And I really like it. I noticed there's a whole series and I'm going to get them. It really got some discussion going with both my five year old and three year old.

[ipeabody]

At teacher supply stores you can buy these great posters that have a ton of different animated faces on them with different expressions with the feeling written underneath the face. You can post it on the fridge or in her room and then when you need to talk about a feeling, you ask her to point to the face and describe the feeling. Or you can make a game out of it, you make a face and ask her to find the matching face. They are generally used to help special needs kids talk about feelings, but I love them and plan to use them with my little one, he's only 11 months now. They especially work great at diffusing tantrums. You can ask the child to point to the face they are feeling (angry) and then talk about anger, how it feels and good ways to express it. You can also buy soft, rag type dolls that have various faces that you can pull over the doll's happy face. It's a toy that kids can always have with them to use to describe their feelings. Also great for diffusing tantrums.