Snappy comebacks for "I hope you're not one of those Breastfeeding Nazis!" (Long!)

[littlecityfarmer]

Last night, my family and I were closing down DS's Nursery School year-end carnival (kids did not want to leave, so we let them play for a few more minutes on the playground out back). Nursery School is run by the church I grew up attending, and many of the adults who were active in the church are still very involved.

I started chatting with a lady who has known me since I was in Nursery School while DD2 was nursing (discretely) in the sling. She asked if I was still in nursing school, and I said "No, actually, but I am finishing up my BA in Maternal Child Health and planning to become a Lactation Consultant."

"Well," she said" I hope you're not one of those Breastfeeding Nazis! Because, you know, my girls just couldn't do that...." I'm sure my eyes just about popped out of my head. I really needed a snappy comeback!

She went on to tell me about her daughter's struggle to balance work and pumping, her own son's allergy to all artificial baby milks which meant she had to breastfeed him for 14 agonizing months, and the high cost of formula, all with a really negative tone. I sputtered, then said something like "Every family makes choices based on what works best in their situation, and there is a line of critique for every decision. My job is to support mothers who want to breastfeed and help them be successful at it, not to beat people up if they don't."

Anyway, I feel pretty good about the bulk of the conversation, but the "Breastfeeding Nazi" thing threw me... I've been brainstorming snappy comebacks-- any suggestions? Here are a few:

Her: I hope you're not one of those BF Nazis!
Me: Wow, that's a really offensive term. I'm a very strong advocate for breastfeeding mommas and babies, but certainly not a brainwashed genocidal footsoldier. (indignant)
________________
Her: I hope you're not one of those BF Nazis!
Me: Of course, I am! (as I'm nursing blond-hair, blue-eyed DD2 and watching brown-hair-brown eyed DS and DD1 play) That's why I only nurse Aryan babies... (sarcastic)
__________________
Her: I hope you're not one of those BF Nazis!
Me: Certainly not-- I am part of the Breastfeeding Mafia. Watch out, or you'll end up next to a disembodied lactating breast!
(also sarcastic)


Help me out, mammas! What can I say next time (or, more likely, fantasize about saying, since I tend to err on the side of silence when faced with rude/shocking comments)?

[LittlePeanut]

Well if you want to leave them as speechless as you were, then I guess those work. I can't say you'll get many positive responses from it though... Instead of sarcasm (which I am certainly not opposed to in the right situation) why not try a little humour while educating them?

LP

[DanelleB]

I think your response was perfect! I agree that a sarcasm would have just turned her off to whatever else you had to say. All I would have added would be to let her know that you find that term to be very offensive.

[Janice in Canada]

I think you were far better off saying what you did say. If you can keep the dialogue open and respectful, perhaps before the conversation came to a close, or before you had to part, you could say - btw, you used the term "breastfeeding nazis" and that hurt my feelings and offended me or (that upset me). I am a strong advocate for breastfeeding and there is no comparison of that to being part of a genocidial regime. (something like that - you could be more fluent but it is early here!).

If you showed in her conversation that you respected her decision, there she will know that she made a big mistake (or stupid) mistake in calling you that, and hopefully she will never say it again. It is really how you treat her that day, that will make her start to realize that breastfeeding advocates are not forceful arrogant bullies. But it doesn't hurt to point out that the term is very hurtful and inappropriate - because it has become one of those phrases in our culture that people have adopted, without really giving thought to its meaning.

I think your actual response was great.

Janice

[Mrsboyko]

I probably would have pointed out how offensive tossing the word Nazi around really is. That is one thing that actually really bothers me, using really powerful words in daily conversation where they clearly don't belong. As for your ideas, I kinda chuckled the the aryan babies one because it was so appropriate based on her comment.

[That Is Nice]

I detest when people use the word "nazi" in any context other than the historical one.

Just because one is a proponent of breastfeeding doesn't make one a "nazi." It makes one a proponent or advocate of something they feel strongly about. Nothing wrong with that!

[Unoppressed MAMA Q]

I would just simply drop my jaw a bit and say 'Do you know what a Nazi is?'

And let her backpedal all she wants.

[ricemom3]

I apologize for the sarcasm...it's in my nature but
how about... I've applied, but I'm still waiting for my membership card.

[That Is Nice]

Originally Posted by Unoppressed MAMA Q

I would just simply drop my jaw a bit and say 'Do you know what a Nazi is?'

And let her backpedal all she wants.

[rmzbm]

Originally Posted by Unoppressed MAMA Q

I would just simply drop my jaw a bit and say 'Do you know what a Nazi is?'

And let her backpedal all she wants.

That.

[octobermom]

I hate and will not use the word Natzi.. However just putting out another POV but not making excuses. My DD for real medical reasons was FTT and it drastically effected our BF relationship at a time. I remember we'd finially gotten out of the hospital after DD was treated for about 10 days for low blood sugar and other complications and we were now dealing with around the clock BF attempts SNS and formula needed for caloric reasons (as my supply regained) I went to a local LLL and talked with a LC through them and was basically told point blank I was a stupid mom for letting my DD get to a FTT state and that I was literly killing/poisioning her with every ounce of formula I put into her. It hurt a lot it completely turned me off a lot of AP/Natural living communties for quite a while. SO now if someone finds out how much I support BF the fact we fought through and managed to have a healthy BF relationship that countinued till my daughter was 4 years and they say something along the Natzi remark I simpily and point blank validate the concern and say no and that I just try to educate support and offer help the best way I know and I say it proudly without applogizing.

[Belle]

Originally Posted by octobermom

I hate and will not use the word Natzi.. However just putting out another POV but not making excuses. My DD for real medical reasons was FTT and it drastically effected our BF relationship at a time. I remember we'd finially gotten out of the hospital after DD was treated for about 10 days for low blood sugar and other complications and we were now dealing with around the clock BF attempts SNS and formula needed for caloric reasons (as my supply regained) I went to a local LLL and talked with a LC through them and was basically told point blank I was a stupid mom for letting my DD get to a FTT state and that I was literly killing/poisioning her with every ounce of formula I put into her. It hurt a lot it completely turned me off a lot of AP/Natural living communties for quite a while. SO now if someone finds out how much I support BF the fact we fought through and managed to have a healthy BF relationship that countinued till my daughter was 4 years and they say something along the Natzi remark I simpily and point blank validate the concern and say no and that I just try to educate support and offer help the best way I know and I say it proudly without applogizing.

I'm sorry someone who was supposed to be supportive was so cruel to you.

[boheime]

I think you handled it well. if you wanted something snappy, what about "Breastfeeding saves lives. Nazis killed people. Please don't compare the two."

[Hayes]

I really dislike the tossing about of the word Nazi. I think I would say something along the lines of what the PP sugested.

Nazis were horrible people who killed millions for their religious beliefs. I would NEVER wish anyone harm for their personal choices. However, I do think breastfeeding is the best choice and I will gladly assist anyone who needs my help to breastfeed successfully.

[mamabadger]

"Every family makes choices based on what works best in their situation, and there is a line of critique for every decision. My job is to support mothers who want to breastfeed and help them be successful at it, not to beat people up if they don't."

I think you gave the perfect response. She was obviously angry and still hurt about things that happened when her kids were babies. A smart-aleck answer would only fuel that. Maybe follow up with a word or two about the inappropriate use of "Nazi."

[frontierpsych]

Originally Posted by beansmommy

Her: I hope you're not one of those BF Nazis!
Me: Certainly not-- I am part of the Breastfeeding Mafia. Watch out, or you'll end up next to a disembodied lactating breast!
(also sarcastic)

: I like this one!

[One_Girl]

I like the line that you gave her originally about being there to help all mothers and not make them feel bad if they don't choose to continue. Breastfeeding support people have a really nasty image because so many of them are pushy about it and don't have a professional attitude, especially the ones who did it for a long time and enjoyed it. I think that those other ideas are funny, but if you are looking to promote a more positive image of your profession and want to appear to be approachable then I think you should stick to a calm and professional retort.

[_betsy_]

I think your response to her was great, tactful, honest and to the point.

Yeah, it's great to have something snappy to say in your head, but when would you ever really use it? Sounds like this woman is well past her child-bearing years and you're not going to convince her/change her opinions with a shock-value statement.

I'd keep this conversation in mind though, so if she uses the phrase again you can say something about how offensive the term Nazi is, but other that, I'd probably just let it go. You said your piece and sounded professional about it, and that's probably the best tack to take.

[jimblejamble]

Originally Posted by Unoppressed MAMA Q

I would just simply drop my jaw a bit and say 'Do you know what a Nazi is?'

And let her backpedal all she wants.

Yes!

[hellyaellen]

Originally Posted by boheime

I think you handled it well. if you wanted something snappy, what about "Breastfeeding saves lives. Nazis killed people. Please don't compare the two."

:

THAT should tatolly be a T-shirt