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What name do you use for your daughters private parts? - Page 4

post #61 of 184
Quote:
Originally Posted by ThreeBeans View Post
It's not a catch-call. It's a term for a very specific part. "Vulva" is the catch-all.

There aren't that many parts that they need to know. The stuff they can identify is pretty obvious..labia, vagina, urethra, clitoris.
Right. To say that "vagina" is a catch-all term for that area is like saying that "esophagus" is a catch-all term for the parts of a face.
post #62 of 184
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kessed View Post
I'd buy that if 2 definitions hadn't already been posted up thread...
It's entirely possible to miss that in a busy thread for a variety of reasons. You don't really think she was lying do you? Because this would be a really odd thing for someone to fib about, ya know?

I understand feeling the need to put out the correct info and definition, but I think your tone was a wee bit harsh and not really as helpful as something like "Thanks for clarifying and editing your post. It's just really important to me that the information here be correct so people aren't misinformed. Thanks again..."
or something similar. A little peace can do a lot. :
post #63 of 184
Quote:
The foreskin? There's no need to pull back his foreskin during urination.
Not that it's on topic, but I think I mentioned it's his personal preference to slightly retract while urinating. Just enough so that you can barely see the meatus. I understand it's not necessary, but if he forgets to do it, he gets upset because I'm assuming he doesn't like the sensation. My ex was intact and also hated urinating without retracting /shrug
post #64 of 184
[QUOTE=library lady;11416697]:

I took a course once and predators have gotten away with stuff because parents and other adults had no idea that when a little girl said a guy touched her "euphemism" nobody realized that she had been sexually assaulted. (I don't remember what the word was but it was not a word that the average person would equate with vagina.) If you want a non-offesnive word, go with something like bottom or private parts so that everyone knows what you are talking about. I don't care if people know we are talking about our "private parts". If some jerk touches my daughters, I want them to be able to go to the nearest adult and be understood. Safety trumps other peoples sense of propriety.[/QUOTE


I just thought these points should be brought up again. With the safety of our girls at risk there seems no reason not to use the 'correct' terms.
post #65 of 184
Quote:
Originally Posted by ThreeBeans View Post
It's not a catch-call. It's a term for a very specific part. "Vulva" is the catch-all.

There aren't that many parts that they need to know. The stuff they can identify is pretty obvious..labia, vagina, urethra, clitoris.
I agree. I don't see what is wrong with a young girl knowing he names for her body parts- vulva, vagina, clitoris, urethra, labia, perineum, etc. My 4 yo has known the names for at least a year or so now.

I can see using a pet name, but I still think girls need to know the actual names of their body parts.
post #66 of 184
It's harder than penis, well because there's more to it than just one thing. We refer to it as vulva/vagina, what ever is necessary.
post #67 of 184
i like this post. it is something i have wondered about even though ds is onlly 4 mos. when i was younger we used private parts or croch mostly but i knew the real words to. i'm still trying to convince dp to use penis and testicles with our son atleast at first. he seems to be more comfortable with the more eh... crude terms (not something i want my LO saying )

oo btw people had mentioned knowing the real names for parts.. and i have a feeling most people here teach their LOs the real words before this would come up, but just in case... one of my best friends in highschool (i'm only 20 so this wasnt long ago) was reading something out loud during philisophy class something about sex and it talked about the clitoris. she looked up and said "whats a clitoris" it was our senior year needless to say it was one of her more embarrasing highschool moments. turns out she had never heard the word until h/s and then only the slang, she thought it was a click
post #68 of 184
Quote:
Originally Posted by Onemagicmummy View Post
its getting over my own embaresment that needs work
That's my problem. We just say "butt" or "yourself/myself". It's just my daughter and I right now, so I'm kind of following her lead on gender. I ask her periodically how she knows who are boys and who are girls. Her most recent answer? "Their eyes. I have girl eyes, and boys have boy eyes."
post #69 of 184
We say vulva, mostly. I don't like the term yoni. It's never been a part of my culture, but I understand what it means and that people really like it, and I have no problem with that.
post #70 of 184
Quote:
Originally Posted by Azuralea View Post
As for yoni, I know it is commonly used term but Sanskrit is not my native tongue and using the term does not feel right to me.
Exactly. Sure, yoni has a lovely meaning but I don't use words from other languages and cultures to describe my body parts. I'm not a Sanscrit speaker, not to mention I know nothing of Sanscrit or the religion associated with it. It feels disrespectful to appropriate another culture's term like that.
post #71 of 184
Quote:
Originally Posted by ThreeBeans View Post
It's not a catch-call. It's a term for a very specific part. "Vulva" is the catch-all.

There aren't that many parts that they need to know. The stuff they can identify is pretty obvious..labia, vagina, urethra, clitoris.
, don't rightly care if it's the most correct term or not. I don't feel the need to teach my 6 year old her labia versus her vulva. So should the vagina monologue's rename their show the vulva, clitoris, labia, and vagina monologue's (maybe VCLV for short) since technically speaking there's more than just the vagina involved? So it is a common catch all rather it is correct or not. When she is older she can learn all the correct terms, guess I'm just not PC enough, no worries on my end about it.
post #72 of 184
Quote:
Originally Posted by zinemama View Post
Exactly. Sure, yoni has a lovely meaning but I don't use words from other languages and cultures to describe my body parts. I'm not a Sanscrit speaker, not to mention I know nothing of Sanscrit or the religion associated with it. It feels disrespectful to appropriate another culture's term like that.

Right. I mean I don't refer to my eyes, legs, or knees in Sanskrit either. And being a student of Buddhism I am at least a super tiny bit familiar with Sanskrit, Pali, etc and I still feel a little twitchy using the words.

I've got no problem with people using yoni or teaching it to their kids, but knowing that others call it vulva and vagina might be useful info too. I dunno. Whatever works.
post #73 of 184
To those so hung up about the dreaded V word( wow feeling old school MDC there for a minute) do you also refer to every other part of your body in the correct term? So you say your esophagus is hurting, or you bruised your scapula, right? You call it a coccyx versus your tail bone? Just curious. Yes, I know the correct terms, i've been to nursing school(didn't finish I admit) and I still don't feel the need but if you refer to everything in the correct term then I guess it makes sense for you to.
post #74 of 184
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fi. View Post
Vagina. She's 6, she can learn the breakdown of it later when she's actually curious. My son knows he has his penis and his "skin" (ie. "pull your skin back when you pee" [he prefers it that way but he needs a reminder sometimes, we arent forcing of course]). Again, when he's older we'll get more specific.
My son knew this stuff at the age of 2, he knows all the words for girl and boy parts.
Quote:
I have a friend working in child protection who mentioned that it is good for them to be able to explain exactly how their body works/ where their parts are with names lest, God forbid, anyone interfered with them inappropriately, but I'm not convinced it needs to be dictionary definition.
Yep, a little girl was molested and said the man touched her "pocketbook", the guy wasn't prosecuted because the DA couldn't make a case.

I say use the proper names, use them often and very early so we and our children get used to hearing them. There is no reason for discomfort.

Oh, and I learned about using the word vulva instead of vagina when talking about what you see outside a long time ago, and really prefer the word. Vagina is used when it's appropriate. My son knows his own parts as penis, testicles, testes, scrotum, anus and even perineum.
post #75 of 184
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jwebbal View Post
Yep, a little girl was molested and said the man touched her "pocketbook", the guy wasn't prosecuted because the DA couldn't make a case.
.
They had another reason for not making a case. Pocketbook is actually a pretty common term in some areas and is what I was taught I chose not to teach it for other reasons. My friend had to tell officers about someone touching her "pocketbook" and he was arrested and prosecuted. Her "vulva" was never mentioned actually she was given pictures and a model to show what had happened.
post #76 of 184
I use vulva to describe what you see outside. I think we owe it to our children to give them correct language because there is power in being able to say exactly what you mean. This doesn't take away your choice to use other names additionally, but your child will actually know the real word when she needs it. I was raised with made-up names and I felt unable to speak about my sexual self for a long time.
post #77 of 184
Quote:
Why use crude medical terms for something which is so important to a woman. My DD's yoni will bring her womanhood, then it will bring her pleasure, and then children (if she chooses to have them).
Kessed: in an attempt to explain your offense at the misunderstood "Yoni" (which was very informative) you offend others who choose to use words like vulva, vagina etc. These aren't crude words but empowering, shame-free, knowledge-full words.

Quote:
To those so hung up about the dreaded V word( wow feeling old school MDC there for a minute) do you also refer to every other part of your body in the correct term? So you say your esophagus is hurting, or you bruised your scapula, right? You call it a coccyx versus your tail bone? Just curious. Yes, I know the correct terms, i've been to nursing school(didn't finish I admit) and I still don't feel the need but if you refer to everything in the correct term then I guess it makes sense for you to.
Jeca: this would make sense except that the esophagus, scapula and coccyx have never had the shame and fear associated with them that female's genitalia have. I mean there aren't that many pet words for shoulder or throat or tailbone, but for some reason people over the ages have refused to name or have come up with a multitude of pet names for vagina and vulva like there IS something to hide or feel shame about.
post #78 of 184
Quote:
Originally Posted by MamaJizo View Post
I use vulva to describe what you see outside. I think we owe it to our children to give them correct language because there is power in being able to say exactly what you mean. This doesn't take away your choice to use other names additionally, but your child will actually know the real word when she needs it. I was raised with made-up names and I felt unable to speak about my sexual self for a long time.
That's sad I grew up with made up names too and have never had any problems with sexual self so I think personality comes a lot into play. I agree that girls should know the real names when they need it. I fully intend to do that but not at five and six.
post #79 of 184
Quote:
Originally Posted by mumster View Post
Jeca: this would make sense except that the esophagus, scapula and coccyx have never had the shame and fear associated with them that female's genitalia have. I mean there aren't that many pet words for shoulder or throat or tailbone, but for some reason people over the ages have refused to name or have come up with a multitude of pet names for vagina and vulva like there IS something to hide or feel shame about.
That's true and understandable.
post #80 of 184
Quote:
I agree that girls should know the real names when they need it. I fully intend to do that but not at five and six.
I'm curious to know what holds you back from using vulva or vagina at this point with your dd.
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