Help me convince DH...

[Ornery]

My DH commutes about 50 miles each way every day. His car gets about 34 mpg which is awesome for a 95 Mitsubishi Eclipse (we've modified it quite a bit). He has tried carpooling numerous times but always seems to get people who he really isn't compatible with. I just found out that there is a commuter bus that goes within 5 miles of his workplace and it would fit his routine perfectly. Unfortunately, he would have to leave a half hour earlier in the morning and would be home a half hour later. It is only $40 for a monthly pass though and right now the gas is killing us. I hate to have him gone more than he already is but it would save so much money and wear and tear on the car.

So help me think of how to convince my DH. He loves his car. Hates the drive but loves driving in his car. Likes to listen to his music really loud (he has an ipod so would be able to on the bus). I think for most of us it would be a no brainer but he is going to really resist. He isn't much of a reader so wouldn't really put that time to use other than possibly sleeping. He is kind of a "loner" type person. Very quiet. Needs his space. Riding on a bus for an hour each day might (I'm not positive though) be his own personal hell. Any thoughts?

[hollianna]

Well, I don't have any good advice, because to me, it seems that if your husband doesn't want to do it, there's not much you can do about it.

It sounds like taking the bus would be a nightmare for him, and it would add an hour a day to his commute. I don't know what you could say that would make it more appealing.

You could just try talking to him about it. Maybe he'd be more open to it than you think. If the idea of saving on gas money appeals to him, he just may do it. But if not, I don't think there's much you can say otherwise.

[hollianna]

Oh, one more thing I wanted to add. Sometimes people just need time to consider something to realize that it is the best choice. My husband is like that. He thought he couldn't live without cable, and I was so frustrated that we kept paying for it month after month.

Anyway, he eventually realized he doesn't care for TV much anymore and the cost just isn't worth it. So, broach the subject and then give your husband time to think it through. He may eventually come around. (He might not, but...with time and rising gas prices, he just might.)

Good luck!

[TiredX2]

Would he be willing to try it for a month? See if it really makes a difference?

Maybe if you tracked how much it costs in a normal month versus a month on the commuter bus and said that 1/2 the savings could go to his fun money?

Is the bus crowded? Is there work DH needs to do he could do on the bus? If it's not crowded could he sit alone and listen to his ipod and consider that "alone" time.

Is the gas cost "really" killing you. As in you need to get some of that money? Or do you just hate to "waste" the extra. That will probably make a big difference on how DH sees it.

[Ornery]

It isn't as though I would force him Honestly, I'm not sure how he would feel about it. I just know that unless we do something differently, we won't be able to afford to live. And, yes, we've extensively explored moving closer to his job (COL would increase by at least 50% - and that is for a rental in a really terrible area) and finding a job closer (no jobs with benefits, 401K, employer matching, etc). I've also recently explored getting a job, but our priority right now is to have a parent home with the children and DH realizes his limitations. He would NOT want to be a SAHD.

Guess I am just trying to brainstorm ways to make it easier on him. If he doesn't choose to do it, I will find someway to continue paying for gas.

ETA: Thanks for the ideas Tired. Trying it for a month is perfect. As is putting half the money away for fun for him. Currently, we don't have fun accounts. We are working extremely hard on getting out of debt (paying off the car and medical bills). I already know the savings ($40/month pass for the bus vs. between $260/gas + btwn $30-50 wear and tear costs) and he could have a lot of fun money with $150.