Four years ago, DP and I moved out to a little country city. At the time, the 50 mile commute to his job (an easy drive, because it's pretty much all traffic-less highway driving through the countryside) was still worth it because our rent was so cheap. We couldn't even
afford to live near his work -- and I mean, at all! -- because the cost of living there is so bloated, and our incomes could not keep pace with it. I was able to finish up my Associates Degree for pretty cheap while living out here, which was another reason for our move. There just weren't any educational options near his work that weren't expensive, private colleges/universities. I even found a full time job while living out here where I only had to walk a few steps to get to work. And because we live in an apartment in the downtown of our little city, we have a grocery store, library, post office, hardware store, a couple restaurants, etc. all within a couple blocks' walk.
But we can't live here anymore. The cost of gas has more than doubled since we moved here, and there are absolutely no public transportation options. I lost my job that was so close by because one of the partners is quasi-retired and they just don't have the work flow to justify my position any longer. And any job I could find out here at this point would require some driving, and the pay probably wouldn't cover the gas and the expense of hiring someone to walk our dog during the day. I considered trying to find something near DP's work so we could commute in together, but DP's hours are really unpredictable, and if he had to stay late (which can be until 7, 8, 9 o'clock) I would be stuck at my workplace and there would be no one to take care of our dog and that is too long of a wait for him. And there are no jobs out here for DP. None.
So it just doesn't make sense for us to live out here anymore. We can't afford it. Fortunately, a friend of ours has a house he is sitting on until the housing market improves, and his tenant is moving out. The house is only 15 miles from DP's workplace, and there are numerous, numerous job opportunities there for me, and various kinds of public transportation and carpooling options. We are so lucky in that we are getting a deal, because the rent is going to be way cheaper than what we would normally pay. Our friend doesn't want to put any more money into the property than necessary, because the intent down the road is to sell it for the large lot that it sits on, so the house itself will probably be torn down. So we get a reduced rent in exchange for having a "super" that will take care of only the bare minimum to keep the house functional and safe. If there are extras that we want (and we can pretty much do whatever we want to the property) we have to pay for it ourselves. And our pets are not a problem, which is wonderful!
But if this opportunity didn't drop in our laps, there would have been only a couple other options for us. One would have been for us to move in with our in-laws, which is an offer that they made. They live 50+ miles in the other direction from DP's work. And the commute for DP would be hellish because the traffic is so terrible, and there aren't really viable public trans options that way either. So in that scenario, he could easily be gone from 5:30a.m. until 8:00p.m., and that is just unacceptable to us, at least over more than the very short-term. It would have forced DP to leave his very stable niche job, where he cannot be easily replaced, to find a new position, which is such a big risk during a recession. My hair is standing on end just thinking about it.
The other option would have been to find an apartment as close to DP's work as possible, and look for a job for myself very nearby so we could both bike or walk, and hope that we could afford the rent and that we could keep our pets. Giving up our pets is the very last resort, and we would pretty much do everything to avoid it. These are a lot of variables that need to intersect to make this option tenable, so I'm glad we don't have to go through the process of trying to find it for at least a couple years.
I'm sad to leave our little community and also disappointed that I ran out of time and couldn't finish my bachelor's degree while living out here. But there are so many pluses to living closer to DP's work that I am really, really excited about it. We actually will have a yard for the first time and I will get to plant a garden. We will have easy access to stores that offer organic products and produce, if we want them. Over the summer months, we will be in close proximity to multiple farmer's markets. We will live less than an hour's drive (instead of 2+ hours) from our family and friends still living where we grew up. Because we'll have the yard, my dog can spend most of his time off leash for the first time in his life, and I will have the room to train him in agility, which he will love. There is a space near the back of the house that, if we properly contain it, our cats could enjoy the outdoors for the first time since we rescued them from their early street life. And we will live in a much more diverse community, where we won't feel odd for not being white Christian Republicans.
Sorry, I didn't meant to carry on and on. But, I just wanted to share that based on my experience, moving further away from stable employment right now is a scary idea, at least to me. The cost of gas and all other goods is only going to go up, and employment opportunities will probably go down. And, in some areas, like in the rural area where we are now, decent-paying jobs are really hard to come by.
But I know every family is different. I wish you the best of luck in your decision.
