Secondary Infertility Summer 08 Thread - Page 2

[trying for #1]

I hate to ask such a stupid question, but what is secondary infertility? I was wondering because my fiancee had a previous vasectomy ( long story) and we concieve our first baby via IUI. Do I go in this category. Thanks

[Kelly Jene]

Hi!
I don't know if I belong here or not. Dh and I have 3 awesome boys between us. I felt pressured to have my tubes tied after my youngest in 2000. We realized it was a HUGE mistake and had it reversed in 2006. In 2007, we got pg, but lost our lil Charlie and one of my tubes.

Now according to the docs, my other tube is useless. But we're trying anyway.

I hope this is the right place! Thank you.

[Perdita_in_Ontario]

I'm not sure what the "official" definition is, but to me, secondary infertility is fertility issues once you've got a child - whether or not you had fertility issues with the first child.

The main reason we're all on this thread is because of our existing children, and discussing the issues around parenting while going through fertility struggles/treatments.

So, in my mind, regardless of the official definition, if you think you belong here chances are you do, and so welcome to you both. Hope your stay is short.

[trying for #1]

Thanks for your answer Perdita_in_Ontario. I have been feeling really down and out. My 15 month old is weaning on her own and I still want more kids but I am financally strained at this time. I feel like I should be able to have kid when i want and as many as I want but we all wish for that. Sorry to hear about the lost of little Charlie and your tube Kelly Jene. The lost of a child rather it is in the womb or in the world is very devistating but I am glad to know that your reversal worked and with the help of God and medicine, that tube can make babies!

[SoCaliMommy]

Secondary infertility is defined as the inability to become pregnant, or to carry a pregnancy to term, following the birth of one or more biological children. Even though the couple already has a child, the couple experiences secondary infertility as the loss of a child, the loss of pregnancy, and the loss of childbirth. Infertility is a disease or condition of the reproductive system often diagnosed after a couple has one year of unprotected, well-timed intercourse or if the woman suffers from multiple miscarriages from Resolve.org

[Kelly Jene]

Thanks for the welcome.

Thank you for your kindness Victoria. It has not been an easy journey. I just keep hoping and praying.

Good luck to all of us here, huh?

[Needle in the Hay]

Hello, I'm joining this thread and then I'm going downstairs to call my ob/gyn's office! I put it off last week because my sister and her friend were visiting and we were just busy.

I haven't been to see my ob/gyn since last summer because she detected a thyroid problem (hypothyroidism) so she wanted me to get that treated. Now my endo has given me the on that so I'll restart my appts with ob/gyn (bloodtests, u/s and we'll do another SA and whatever you call it when they analyse his sperm with my cm). Then we'll see where we are at and how to proceed.

We've been trying for a second baby for over 5 years. However, my DS is the type who was better off without a sibling during his first few years. He just has required a lot of attention and supervision! But he is so ready now and is hoping for a brother and twin sisters! I think he would make a great big brother. He is learning a thing or two from all this. The other day I heard him tell my sister & her friend "Have some radishes, they're good for your thyroid!"

My DH is also really ready now to do whatever it takes.

Best of luck and huge s to you all.

[Kelly Jene]

Needle, my oldest was 4 when I had my youngest and it worked out beautifully. It seemed to be the perfect age for him to become a big brother. He understood everything so well, loved his lil brother, was a big helper.

Good luck to you!!

[trying for #1]

I am so depressed. I want to have another baby and I feel hopeless. I don't even like seeing pregnant people. I feel the need to have more kids and to not be able to have one or know that one is on the way is killing me. Sorry, I just had to vent!

[Ellien C]

Originally Posted by trying for #1

I am so depressed. I want to have another baby and I feel hopeless. I don't even like seeing pregnant people. I feel the need to have more kids and to not be able to have one or know that one is on the way is killing me. Sorry, I just had to vent!

I'm so with you - I really am. At first I was all of the TCC forum -- and then I realized it was time to move to Infertility (like the final chapter for me). But I didn't feel like I had any right to complain since I have 1 perfect DD. And all of the families who had children when I did either have 2-3 now or were totally committed to having just 1. It's so hard. Thank you again for starting this thread. We really needed a place to feel safe.

[crazyrunningmama]

Originally Posted by Julia'sMom

I appreciate the discussions about childcare since I too am in a similar situation. In fact, it might be even worse than that. My dd's daycare (home daycare) is closed for 2 weeks in July and my parents are coming to watch her for a few days so I can work. Well, if I stim quickly that may very well be the same time as my ER or ET. So, while childcare will be taken care of, I might have to share my situation with my family, which is definately not my first choice. I'm trying to think of soemthign else that could account for me needing to rest and recuperate that isn't too serious, as to alleviate any concerns. Any ideas? Especially since the ET may be very close to my dh's family reuion, which we are hosting. I need a good reason to sit on my butt and not work much without alarming anyone.

Put your back out!

[crazyrunningmama]

Somehow I missed all of you new folks - HI!!! Welcome and like we always say, hope your stay is short. I was glad to see a thread started for us, because it does feel weird to complain about infertility when you already have a child, but it is still hard. I am starting another IVF cycle right now and it is very stressful and different to do it again. In some ways scarier because I am so much more informed!
take care all!!!

[attached2mason]

Hi all. I'm 'new' . We have been ttc our second since winter 07. DH was recently diagnosed with low morph and mot. (good count) and my OB thinks I don't ovulate each month, although I do some months.

We are on the waiting list for IUI, which is short, thankfully! I am trying 50mg of chlomid next cycle with folicle tracking. If that doesn't work we will do the same the following month with a trigger shot. If neither works we will be at the top of the IUI list and will likely do IUI the following cycle. Exciting and scary all at the same time. Exciting because maybe this will be the answer for us. Scary because what if it is not? Scary because . . .what if I become a basket case while on Chlmoid?

Anyway, I'm glad to have a place to feel comfy here. I was on the nursing mamas thread for a long time but it is pretty obvious that I have outgrown that thread, despite the fact that I am still nursing ds (3.5). I just don't 'fit' there anymore.

I never dreamed we would have trouble ttc the second . . . goes to show that the only thing constant in life is change.

I really appreciated this:

Originally Posted by Kelly Jene

Needle, my oldest was 4 when I had my youngest and it worked out beautifully. It seemed to be the perfect age for him to become a big brother. He understood everything so well, loved his lil brother, was a big helper.

I have mostly made peace with the idea that they won't be 3 years apart like the "plan", but every once in a while I get sad. It is so nice to read stories like yours Kelly. Thanks!

[Voltige]

Guess I can join this group

I'm feeling completely miserable today. I know I'm feeling sorry for myself and I just need to feel safe and get a good cry. It's so hard when trying to entertain an active child though. Our son will be 3 in September and we've been TTC since last July/August. It's been a year, I can't believe it. I was so certain it would happen easily for us. The first time was a happy "accident" so why should I have predicted any trouble getting pg a 2nd time? I charted for several months while were were still using protecting just to get the hang of things. When it didn't happen that first TTC month I was surprised but not worried. One month became two, then four, six, ten. Eleven. I stopped charting about 3 months ago to take some of the pressure off. I'm still not pregnant. Indeed, AF showed up today, or yesterday- depending on how I interpret my bleeding/spotting.

I don't even know where to go from here. The thought of even having initial testing done is overwhelming. I never expected to be in this position.

[attached2mason]

Originally Posted by Voltige

I don't even know where to go from here. The thought of even having initial testing done is overwhelming. I never expected to be in this position.

Hugs, mama. I am in a similar situation . . . concieved right off the hop first time and was blown away when it didn't happen the same the second time. Often I find myself feeling like it is all so surreal . . . still can't believe this is happening. It has been over a year for us too - ttc since winter 07 and we have a 3.5 yo.

Now, everyone is different, but fwiw in my case I am feeling better now that I have had the tests done. For the first time in a year I had something else to focus on besides what cd I was on and whether this was "the month" if that makes sense. In our case we found a few issues, but now have a plan that I am optimistic about. Anyway, just thought I would mention that for me, despite being overwhelmed at the thought of testing, I feel better now than I did before we did the tests.

In any case, welcome to the thread - hopefully your stay here is short and sweet. Go easy on yourself this weekend . . . getting AF is rough .

[trying for #1]

Originally Posted by Ellien C

I'm so with you - I really am. At first I was all of the TCC forum -- and then I realized it was time to move to Infertility (like the final chapter for me). But I didn't feel like I had any right to complain since I have 1 perfect DD. And all of the families who had children when I did either have 2-3 now or were totally committed to having just 1. It's so hard. Thank you again for starting this thread. We really needed a place to feel safe.

Voltige, you are on the same page as I am too. same here. I had a miscarriage in 2004 and I was deistated. I hated even seing or hearing that someone else was pregnant. Then I went to a re and got pregnant and had my own little I thought that i was cured but now, I am starting to have that same feeling and that hopeless feeling has came back. I want more babies!!

[Voltige]

Originally Posted by attached2mason

Now, everyone is different, but fwiw in my case I am feeling better now that I have had the tests done. For the first time in a year I had something else to focus on besides what cd I was on and whether this was "the month" if that makes sense. In our case we found a few issues, but now have a plan that I am optimistic about. Anyway, just thought I would mention that for me, despite being overwhelmed at the thought of testing, I feel better now than I did before we did the tests.

In any case, welcome to the thread - hopefully your stay here is short and sweet. Go easy on yourself this weekend . . . getting AF is rough .

Thanks. I actually called and set up an initial consultation with a RE. It's not for another week and a half but I'm already anxious about the entire thing. The distance, cost, time, etc if we have a real problem and want to address it. Yikes!

AF is also very strange this cycle. I had some brown spotting about 4 DPO (based on OPK). I was hopeful this was implantation spotting. AF, or what I think is AF started 5 days after that but has continued to be this thick, brown discharge. Sorry TMI. It is not heavy and I have little to no cramping. I am guessing that maybe I didn't really O this cycle. Who knows, but clearly I need to be checked out one way or another.

I'm starting to cringe with other people announce a pregnancy. Not that I'm not happy for them, but I want to be pregnant too! Comments like "I didn't expect it to happen so soon once we started trying" just KILL me, ya know?

[kristenok18]

zoo visit

So ds begged and begged to go to the zoo this weekend, and since dh is out of town with his unit, I thought "sure, why not?" It's been stormy all week, and yesterday morning was beautiful, not too hot, not too cool. So not only do I see a man spanking his daughter to make her STOP crying (seriously?!), who is crying because she's afraid of the bugs in the air, but I swear, every pregnant woman in the entire city must have been there. And about 1/3rd of the newborns. Now I'm really really working on not being so sensitive about pg bellies and new babies, but the sheer number of them left me emotionally spent. Ds was so happy to be there, and I was trying very hard to just enjoy his sheer delight. I wish they made sunglasses with lenses that let you see only what you want to see.

[kungfufugirl]

I hear ya kristen---I have been feeling badly about dreading this upcoming baby shower, but really, this friend of mine got pg w/ her 3rd child on the first try the same month I was doing my IVF #2. We were really hoping to be pg together, but that didn't work out for me, and now her baby shower is rolling around.........ACK!

Worst part is that I am all pumped up on IVF hormones again and will be in the 2ww, but not feeling nearly as confident as I did last time, and her baby shower is just a big remember that my chances of getting pg are actually pretty slim. When my dh gave me the message about the baby shower, instead of feeling excited, I heard a bomb drop in the back of my head.

I do have a lovely 16 month old dd from IVF #1, and that is how I know here....our dd's are the same age......and I am wishing that this could be my shower

oh...BTW....I am new to this thread....my name is jo, and I am 37, will be 38 in July: Currently stimming for IVF #3....Third time is a charm--right????

~jo

[kungfufugirl]

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