Secondary Infertility Summer 08 Thread - Page 4

[crazyrunningmama]

Originally Posted by crystal-mommy

Had a mini meltdown after my u/s today that shows what might be a large follicle or a cyst... not sure. Was telling DH about it and he says "@ least we have one child already". That is supposed to make it all better?? IF I cn't ever get preg again... she will be more than plenty and I will be happy. But I gotta be able to tell myself I tried.... I have always dreamed of having 3 children... will be ecstatic w/ 2 @ this point. Just a crappy day...

Men just want to "fix" things sometimes don't they?

[MeadowMom]

Well, I had my HSG on Monday, and found out that both of my tubes are open now. It was so wonderful to hear. DH and I will cycle next month. We can't wait!

[crazyrunningmama]

Originally Posted by MeadowMom

Well, I had my HSG on Monday, and found out that both of my tubes are open now. It was so wonderful to hear. DH and I will cycle next month. We can't wait!

Right on!!! Good luck.

[Lillianna]

hello all. I am thankful to see this thread and appreciate those who have shared their experience. we've been ttc for 4+ since a m/c. wow, some say that the "trying" is the best part but after 4 years, it's becoming harder and harder. Not because I don't enjoy it but I am starting to have an emotional breakdown in the middle of ddt when I think about ttc. I have to get myself to start charting. We did fertility workup a couple years ago with clomid and hsg the next step. I also tried acupuncture for 6 months.
the biggest problem I'm having is being around pregnant friends and newborns. Does anyone else have trouble being around pregos and babies? I feel like such a downer but I can't force myself to seem interested, to put on a happy face or to act happy for them. My friend gave birth two weeks ago and I haven't even called. Everyday I make an excuse not to.
isaberg - so sorry to hear about your loss. I totally know what you mean about the monthly anticipation/depression cycle. This is wearing me out.
I do think I'm getting in a better frame of mind to start looking into adoption. Up til now I didn't think it would be right since I hadn't totally accepted that we may not be able to conceive #2.
I really think my dd would be an awesome big sister. It just breaks my heart sometimes to think (as an only) she wouldn't have any nieces or nephews and that her children wouldn't have any cousins, etc....

[kristenok18]

Lillianna- it is incredibly difficult for me to around newborns/babies, also. it just hurts so badly to see everyone else having what we want so badly. It hurts even more to hear people talking about conceiving so flippantly, since it has never occurred to them that they might not be able to conceive according to the timeline they've envisioned. I can't write much now, since I'm about to run out the door, but I just wanted to send a

[isaberg]

Originally Posted by Lillianna

I really think my dd would be an awesome big sister. It just breaks my heart sometimes to think (as an only) she wouldn't have any nieces or nephews and that her children wouldn't have any cousins, etc....

That's one of the things that gets me, too. Of course, as an only, I realize that it's not the end of the world - I had a very happy childhood. But I do wish my child would have siblings to grow up with, and to commiserate about her parents when we get old and cranky.

I just really hate, every month, calculating how far apart my children are going to be now. And then calculating how far apart they _would_ have been if only I'd done - well - whatever, earlier - started the adoption process earlier, or gone with a different agency, or started infertility stuff way back when. It's the might-have-beens that are the worst.

[Lillianna]

Thank you Kristen and Isaberg!!
I guess I was hoping someone would tell me that I really should call my friend and ask about the new baby. I know that's what I should do, but every day goes by. I think putting it off is actually making it harder. I just don't know if I can handle it right now.
Isaberg - I'm sure I'm going to look back and wish I would have started the infertility and/or adoption process sooner. I don't know what I'm waiting for, it's been 4 years already!?! There are definitely children who need loving homes and something my husband has come to support.

[LessTraveledBy]

Originally Posted by rubidoux

All the sudden everyone I knew was pregnant and some of them were pg a second time since I started ttc.

Hi, I belong here. Dd is 3 years 4 months old. 4 out of 5 of my closest friends are pregnant and each also has a child younger than our dd.

I am having a pretty tough time, especially since we always hoped for a large family, and two of my friends are pregnant, while still nursing... I nurse dd twice a day for a short period of time but have had my period since she was 6 months old. I think there is something other than the nursing going on.

[LessTraveledBy]

Originally Posted by Lillianna

My friend gave birth two weeks ago and I haven't even called.

I would be gentle with mylself in such a situation and not call. However, I would e-mail or send a card. That way you are not putting yourself in a situation where you cannot predict what the other person will say but will have shown them you thought about them.

[ryan'smom]

Originally Posted by Anumaria

Hi, I belong here. Dd is 3 years 4 months old. 4 out of 5 of my closest friends are pregnant and each also has a child younger than our dd.

I am having a pretty tough time, especially since we always hoped for a large family, and two of my friends are pregnant, while still nursing... I nurse dd twice a day for a short period of time but have had my period since she was 6 months old. I think there is something other than the nursing going on.

Sounds like me, although your nursling is a bit older than my ds. I too feel there must be something else going on. It is getting harder and harder to be patient.

I feel bad because I'm starting to have *negative* feelings when someone I know gets preggo. I want to be truly happy for these people, so I feel terrible when the first thought that pops into my head is "why not me?"

Are you pursuing any type of fertility work-up? I'm kinda on the fence about it myself. I have an annual appointment with an OB in Sept. I will be asking him what he thinks about doing some blood tests, etc. My fear is he will blow off my concerns and tell me to wean.

Good Luck!

Laura

[Voltige]

I've not posted here in a little while. I had my initial IF workup in June, followed by a sonohysterogram which appeared normal. I do have two large cysts on my left ovary and the doctor strongly suspects endometriosis. I have a laparoscopy scheduled for the 13th of August and I went for my pre-surgical appointment today. The doctor anticipates finding moderate to severe endometriosis, in which case I will be put on Lupron for 3-4 months following the laparoscopy. Then I will have a 2nd laparoscopy to laser off any remaining tissue. After all this is said and done, he thinks we should have up to a 70% chance of conceiving naturally! I am relieved and a little disappointed that we will need to wait before TTC again, but at least we have a plan. I am so far thrilled with my RE who is really doing everything diagnostically possible before throwing fertility meds at us. I now have hope for a fall/winter 2009 baby!

[Lillianna]

Originally Posted by Anumaria

I would be gentle with mylself in such a situation and not call. However, I would e-mail or send a card. That way you are not putting yourself in a situation where you cannot predict what the other person will say but will have shown them you thought about them.

Thanks for this - of course I never thought of it but I can just send a card!

[Ellien C]

I'm having a really crappy day and I feel like I have no right to complain.

but I'm just sad. I have one beautiful child - we are healthy, even well-off working professionals. We have flexible jobs we expect to keep for the forseeable future, a mortgage we can afford. We live in a great neighborhood, yada yada. I'm reading everyone else's stories and thinking about my own family - my brother has prostate cancer (very young to have it) one sister is leaving her husband with the 3 kids (and going round the bend on this) and the other is in an expensive area and probably going under.

I've got everything going for us in our life except I want another kid and I feel like my life has been on-hold for the past 4 years trying to have that kid. And now (and this is so vain it kills me) - I actually look my age and I feel OLD!

It's just sucking for me today and I feel whiny and ungrateful about it. I just don't know where to go with these feelings or what to do with them.

[kristenok18]

I feel like this, too, and it sucks. I posted a thread here about it.

[Ellien C]

Thanks. Hugs to you too. There must be something going on astrologically that we're both feeling this way!

[Dea]

HI Mamas!
I don't know if I am technically having secondary infertility, or just straight up I have fertility issues, STILL!
Trixie is 5.5 months old and we know that we want her sibling(s) to be close in age to her, so we want to start trying again very soon.
We conceived her after many months TTC, and were finally successful with 21 days of Menopur and an IUI.
Recently I had a fallopian tube recannalization to unblock the left one and they noticed that my uterus is quite scarred up, which was news to us because I had the procedure (the one with the dye and the X-ray to see if I had a blocked tube) before we conceived Trixie and my uterus was perfect, and now it's a mess! The top is rounded out and the triangle of my uterus is totally gone.
So this is more than we'd expected, I was hoping with 2 functioning tubes it would be a lot easier to get pregnant this time. (last time I had one tube and one ovary, on opposite sides)
So that's where we are now....

[crazyrunningmama]

Hi Dea! Welcome!! Sounds like you've been getting crappy news, that must have been pretty shocking to hear. Are you still bf'ing Trixie (love the name!)?

[Dea]

Originally Posted by crazyrunningmama

Hi Dea! Welcome!! Sounds like you've been getting crappy news, that must have been pretty shocking to hear. Are you still bf'ing Trixie (love the name!)?

Sadly no. To add insult to injury from not being able to have the homebirth I wanted and having infertility issues with her, I couldn't produce anything. I pumped for 4 months up to 10 times a day and got nothing. (I had a breast reduction 11 years ago) But the positive side of it all is that the crazy making drugs that I"ll have to take won't affect her directly.

[kristenok18]

I'm sorry, Dea. That's hard news to take.

[BabyGow]

Wondered if I could join up with you ladies?
I got pregnant with DS rather effortlessly. Odd since I was diagnosed with PCOS in April of 2004 and was pregnant by November 2004!! It was lovely and we decided not to use any protection after he was born. I figured it was a miracle he was here and any other gifts were more than welcome!!
Anyway, here we are, DS is now 3 years old and starting M pre-K in a couple weeks and I find myself really sad that it hasn't happened yet.

Add to this that I have been to the ER for severe lower left abdominal pain about 4 times in 2 months and have been given pain meds to "tide me over" until I see the GYN on the 19th. They did an u/s and saw that I had a large amount of significant cysts and started discussing surgery which is why they are sending me to this particular GYN "just in case"

In addition to all of this, DH is military and deploying in October...this of course means that we have next to no chance of getting pregnant before he leaves and we aren't even sure what they are planning to suggest yet either. He does have R and R, but who is to say it won't be when I am having TOM here:

It's just all tiring and sad lately. My mother and many other remind me almost daily that I "wasn't supposed to have even one child and you should be thankful"
I get that. I really do, but if I did it once...can't it happen again????