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Secondary Infertility Summer 08 Thread - Page 5

post #81 of 96
8/14/08 at 4:22am
Quote:
Originally Posted by BabyGow View Post
Wondered if I could join up with you ladies?
I got pregnant with DS rather effortlessly. Odd since I was diagnosed with PCOS in April of 2004 and was pregnant by November 2004!! It was lovely and we decided not to use any protection after he was born. I figured it was a miracle he was here and any other gifts were more than welcome!!
Anyway, here we are, DS is now 3 years old and starting M pre-K in a couple weeks and I find myself really sad that it hasn't happened yet.

Add to this that I have been to the ER for severe lower left abdominal pain about 4 times in 2 months and have been given pain meds to "tide me over" until I see the GYN on the 19th. They did an u/s and saw that I had a large amount of significant cysts and started discussing surgery which is why they are sending me to this particular GYN "just in case"

In addition to all of this, DH is military and deploying in October...this of course means that we have next to no chance of getting pregnant before he leaves and we aren't even sure what they are planning to suggest yet either. He does have R and R, but who is to say it won't be when I am having TOM here:

It's just all tiring and sad lately. My mother and many other remind me almost daily that I "wasn't supposed to have even one child and you should be thankful"
I get that. I really do, but if I did it once...can't it happen again????
I'm sorry! I think it can happen again for you! And I think it's unfair for people to suggest you should be thankful! I think that some people just don't understand, whether it be primary, secondary or just infertility in general.

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post #82 of 96
8/15/08 at 12:21pm
Thank you. We are trying to BD more this month and plus my drive has been more this month, so maybe that is a good thing too? We are trying for everyday-every other day at the most sinc ehe has no major weekend training this month. Next month would have been harder because they will be a lot busier. This is our last chance month I think with him leaving and everything.
I am glad there are supportive groups for those of us who can't seem to make another baby happen right now
post #83 of 96
8/16/08 at 2:30pm
Can I join you ladies? We have been TTC#2 on and off for over a year, and never used b/c at all after ds was born in 2003. I have PCOS, and used fertility drugs to conceive ds (Repronex). This time around, I've done clomid (even though it didn't work before) as well as Femara and finally Follistim. I had a m/c after the first round of Follistim, and this second round I'm just having a period, although I saw some white tissue in my flow that may have been a tiny embryo. I am 42, will be 43 in December, so my time is running short. I am pretty down about it right now. So sad that my ds doesn't have a sibling.
I think for me, IF the second time around is harder, because before I could avoid, for the most part, being around babies, pregnant women, and the like (since I had no kids and was working full time). OK, so I actually had two coworkers who were pregnant at one point during my IF treatments, but it was somehow different because my focus was on my work and I could sort of avoid them. Now, though, I am around moms all the time when taking ds to the park, to playgroups, to the coop preschool, and it just is so painful for me to see them. For some reason, I get extra upset when I see a parent hit their child or something else I don't support -- I think "I could be that baby's mama and I would never do that -- why didn't that mama get the PCOS not me?" That is really ugly, isn't it?
post #84 of 96
8/16/08 at 5:33pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pookietooth View Post
Can I join you ladies? We have been TTC#2 on and off for over a year, and never used b/c at all after ds was born in 2003. I have PCOS, and used fertility drugs to conceive ds (Repronex). This time around, I've done clomid (even though it didn't work before) as well as Femara and finally Follistim. I had a m/c after the first round of Follistim, and this second round I'm just having a period, although I saw some white tissue in my flow that may have been a tiny embryo. I am 42, will be 43 in December, so my time is running short. I am pretty down about it right now. So sad that my ds doesn't have a sibling.
I think for me, IF the second time around is harder, because before I could avoid, for the most part, being around babies, pregnant women, and the like (since I had no kids and was working full time). OK, so I actually had two coworkers who were pregnant at one point during my IF treatments, but it was somehow different because my focus was on my work and I could sort of avoid them. Now, though, I am around moms all the time when taking ds to the park, to playgroups, to the coop preschool, and it just is so painful for me to see them. For some reason, I get extra upset when I see a parent hit their child or something else I don't support -- I think "I could be that baby's mama and I would never do that -- why didn't that mama get the PCOS not me?" That is really ugly, isn't it?
I haven't posted in this thread in an age and tbh I have been lurking a bit recently as we are on a kinda 'pause' - see sig.
But I just read your post and couldn't not empathise . My DD was born in 2003 and definitely I find second time round IF very difficult, just as you say you're around preg ladies, babies etc all the time and life just can't stop for our DC. It breaks my heart every single second of every single day, but DD is my strength to keep going. Also as for 'really ugly' about being upset by seeing another parent doing something you don't support & that you could be a better mamma, I suppose it could be seen as 'ugly' but I think it is very natural. It has happened to me recently with my BF and we haven't seen her since she announced she was pg again as all I could think was dread on the behalf of that child (that sounds awful) but her & her DH are definitely of the belief 'spare the rod & spoil the child' - their DS is only just 2 and *I* believe lives in fear of his parents. He actually asked me for a hug one day when he saw me cuddling DD for no reason other that she was in a room full of realtive strangers & needed some reassurance. Now, not everyone would agree that the gentle, compassionate etc way of raising children is right but I know her kids would be enjoying childhood relatively carefree, as I believe they should, if they parented in a less aggressive manner.

Sorry to have gone completely off topic, but just couldn't not share that I find myself with the same feelings frequently.

BTW I'm not claiming to be a flawless parent!

Anyway, hope your journey to #2 isn't too much longer.
post #85 of 96
8/17/08 at 12:54am
doodledoo, glad I'm not alone. I think the ugly part was my wishing the other mom were the one with PCOS, not the judgemental part (although many would say making judgements isn't helpful either). I see it as channeling my hurt and anger at another person, which is not nice or constructive and probaly is damaging to me as well. I mostly try to be happy for others, but there are times when I just have to say "why me, why not someone who seems to hate their kids?"
post #86 of 96
8/17/08 at 10:35pm
Thread Starter 
I have admitted this before IRL and found that it is not just me, before I had my dd, I would see pregnant people and people with babies and think harsh things, especially if they were really young, smoking while pushing the stroller etc. I would think "you probably didn't even want to get pg, but you can and I can't and it's just not f#$%^ing fair". I was able to let it go to some extent, but of course it's still hard.

My dd is talking more and trying to use words she has learned. Words of the week are "brother" and "sister", not sure why. She has been telling people today that she's to going to be a "big sister". I am in the middle of a miscarriage. : Great timing.
post #87 of 96
8/17/08 at 11:34pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by crazyrunningmama View Post
I have admitted this before IRL and found that it is not just me, before I had my dd, I would see pregnant people and people with babies and think harsh things, especially if they were really young, smoking while pushing the stroller etc. I would think "you probably didn't even want to get pg, but you can and I can't and it's just not f#$%^ing fair". I was able to let it go to some extent, but of course it's still hard.

My dd is talking more and trying to use words she has learned. Words of the week are "brother" and "sister", not sure why. She has been telling people today that she's to going to be a "big sister". I am in the middle of a miscarriage. : Great timing.
My thoughts and prayers are with you. I am so so sorry.
If you need to talk, we are here. Dealing with a loss while also dealing with the emotions of infertility is just so awful.
post #88 of 96
8/19/08 at 3:11am
to you. I just had a m/c at the end of April, and am still emotional about that. Be gentle to yourself.
post #89 of 96
8/19/08 at 2:32pm
Well I totally agree with all of that. Mainly I notice I am judged because I don't spank and I talk to DS. Apparently that means I think they are horrid parents. I don't even have to say anything and am still judged.
On another note, I finally had my appt. with the GYN for the pain I have been having for the past 3 months(litmnm m rollof course from the PCOS, but also endometriosis, scar tissues and adhesions that may compromise my fertility as well as cause all of this pain. So they scheduled surgery for the 26th of September. I am hoping it all goes well as he is trying to salvage all parts(that sounds funny) and do everything laproscopically. We shall see. Yet another waiting game until surgery though.
Either way, DH is deploying in early October and we won't have any chance
post #90 of 96
8/20/08 at 12:22am
Oh yeah, I get judged for not forcing ds to share his toys with other kids, or his food, when they bug him for them, like when we go to a playgroup at a park with a sand pit and we're the only ones with sand toys and ds won't share his.

BabyGow, can you have your dh freeze some sperm? They can do an IUI with frozen sperm from him, or if you need to do IVF, they can use it for that, too. Or is it too expensive? I've actually heard of people doing it themselves, like freezing the sperm in a home freezer and using a turkey baster, but I'm not sure how they do that.
post #91 of 96
8/22/08 at 9:36am
I am pretty sure it's expensive, but I will have to check into it...freezing it myself sounds weird However, I would be willing to try!

So my surgery is now next Friday and I am so thankful they had a cancellation and could get me in sooner! Perhaps we can catch one or 2 cycles before he leaves?? Depending when he goes in October...ah, the military life is lovely
post #92 of 96
8/22/08 at 5:48pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pookietooth View Post
Oh yeah, I get judged for not forcing ds to share his toys with other kids, or his food, when they bug him for them, like when we go to a playgroup at a park with a sand pit and we're the only ones with sand toys and ds won't share his.

BabyGow, can you have your dh freeze some sperm? They can do an IUI with frozen sperm from him, or if you need to do IVF, they can use it for that, too. Or is it too expensive? I've actually heard of people doing it themselves, like freezing the sperm in a home freezer and using a turkey baster, but I'm not sure how they do that.
I think the turkey baster thing is a myth, someone on another forum explained they actually use a syringe. Good luck!
post #93 of 96
9/19/08 at 5:23am
Hi everyone
I haven't been posting much on this thread or at all indeed as we have been trying to take a break for these last few cycles, waiting to start fertility treatments in October. Well..............BFP! 38th cycle ttc#2 and one month out from starting fertility treatments & I have my BFP!
I can't believe it! Have to say I'm very anxious as I still feel like AF will show any second as I am really crampy but just praying for a
to everyone & I'll be lurking & cheering you all on.
post #94 of 96
9/19/08 at 7:21am
Quote:
Originally Posted by doodledoo View Post
Hi everyone
I haven't been posting much on this thread or at all indeed as we have been trying to take a break for these last few cycles, waiting to start fertility treatments in October. Well..............BFP! 38th cycle ttc#2 and one month out from starting fertility treatments & I have my BFP!
I can't believe it! Have to say I'm very anxious as I still feel like AF will show any second as I am really crampy but just praying for a
to everyone & I'll be lurking & cheering you all on.
:::::

I am so happy for you!! Hope you have a healthy nine months and an easy delivery!! Good luck!!
post #95 of 96
9/19/08 at 3:07pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by doodledoo View Post
Hi everyone
I haven't been posting much on this thread or at all indeed as we have been trying to take a break for these last few cycles, waiting to start fertility treatments in October. Well..............BFP! 38th cycle ttc#2 and one month out from starting fertility treatments & I have my BFP!
I can't believe it! Have to say I'm very anxious as I still feel like AF will show any second as I am really crampy but just praying for a
to everyone & I'll be lurking & cheering you all on.
:::

Wow! That's fantastic!! I have tears in my eyes, I'm so happy for you!

Praying this one is sticky!

Laura
post #96 of 96
9/19/08 at 4:53pm
Wow, congratulations! That is so awesome! You are so blessed!
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Mothering › Mothering Discussion Forums › Pregnancy and Birth › Fertility › Infertility › Secondary Infertility Summer 08 Thread