February 08 - 1 Year Ago We Were All Knocked Up!! - Page 8

[Theia]

Hi all. I am really excited cuz I recieved Lakshmi's teething necklace today. I tore into the package and then set it outside in the sun for a bit. When she woke from her nap we went outside in the sun to sit for a few minutes and I put it on her. It's so cute! So I am hoping to see if it makes a difference or not with her. She drools tons and loves to chew on her fingers. Its so cute cuz she will usually chew on her index and thumb, jamming them both into her mouth. But sometimes she must really want to chew cuz then she tries to fit both hands into her mouth. I've recently been trying to get her interested in a wooden spoon, but her fingers taste better I guess. The past two-three nights have been kick-fests after 4AM. It's not hunger cuz even if she eats, she will start kicking again in 30 min. to an hour. Even DP is complaining and wanted to know what it's about. I said something like she is learning the kicks and wiggles and it keeps waking her up. Funny thing is she isn't really awake, eyes are closed and she is at least in a light sleep if not a little deeper. How long does this last? I can handle it, but DP has to get up early and her kicking is spoiling his last 2 hours of sleep.

Sarah, that is so sweet. I can't wait to experience such moments with DD.

Helen, you have video? As in this guy doing something that you can show as proof now? Thats awesome.

to those in the blistering heat back east and the floods in the midwest. Hope everyone is safe. I know Smokeylo is in Iowa City and they had some big flooding, has she been around lately? I'm sure there are others, in our group in these areas.

[eilonwy]

Aw, Sarah! You know, two year olds et a bad rap, but in my experience they are the most loving creatures on Earth. They can be loud and temperamental, but they are *so* sweet it just makes your teeth fall out. . Here's Shriekabella, hollering about who knows what... next thing you know, there's Snugglabella, telling me, "I wuv you mamma, you're cute and mini, mamma, I miss you mamma," chubby little hands pressed against my cheeks and slimy kisses all over my face.

Originally Posted by birthmommom

Well speaking of finances we are broke...it sucks. We are under a lot of credit card debt, and dh is making me crazy. I spoke to him yesterday about putting ds on medicaid and me going on WIC but he still refuses. I feel like I don't eat enough...and it would be so dishonest if I just went on wic without telling him. I also feel like we cannot afford insurance and need some help. our policy costs us 250 a month and a $30 copay and ds isn't going for his 4mo check up b/c we don't have it...and for some reason dh cannot get past his pride about not being on govt programs that I just want to scream. I get it...but sometimes you need help and that is what it is there for...it isn't forever.

Originally Posted by flapjack

I have to say though, for me it would be non-negotiable and I'd do it with or without him : Even when I was dirt-poor ($10 a week on food poor) I still couldn't handle the idea of the kids doing without necessities.

I agree with Helen. When I was pregnant with BooBah and Bean was just shy of a year old, and we had NO food in the house and couldn't afford to do any grocery shopping (because the brakes had gone out on the car and had to be replaced *immediately*)... The next time I went into town for a doctor's appointment, I talked to the social worker who put in a food order for me and then I went to apply for food stamps. Mike's pride was not worth listening to my baby cry because I didn't have enough milk to feed him and there wasn't enough stuff in the house. I mean I had like, two packages of dried beans and some deer bologna that Mike's dad had given us. We didn't even keep things like ketchup in the house. It was an absolute wreck. Mike was upset with me for going, but he was so happy to be able to eat again. I was just relieved to be able to feed Bean something relatively nutritious... and from the food bank, we learned that Bean really likes Spam.

Originally Posted by flapjack

Holy cow. We have video footage. Proof. I don't know what to do right now (so I'm on the net instead of going to sleep)

There's always YouTube. Actually, that's not a bad idea... if you're the sort for hanging dirty laundry out to the public. If not, I'd say, "Take it to the police during reasonable, daylight hours." (And then YouTube! :evillaugh: )

[nausicaamom]

Birthmomom - if it helps on the medicaid/wic/foodstamps issue - you've been paying money into it all your working life it so it's not a hand-out, more like insurance. s

Holy Cr*p Helen, Good luck - in your shoes I'd proably be avoiding the issue too and surfing to distract myself.

Things are definitely getting better - I was able to get Alex down for a nap this morning so I could doze while "Lots and Lots of Trains" raised Michael for an hour. He took a few more short naps today but he's giving me clearer signs as to when he needs to sleep so it's definitely getting easier. I still can't quite believe that four years ago today I was counting down the hours until I got to meet Michael for the first time. Definitely the hardest and greatest thing I've ever down in my life and it's so much better for it.

I'm off to my knitting circle (yay for early bed times!). TTFN!

[operamommy]

Originally Posted by nausicaamom

Birthmomom - if it helps on the medicaid/wic/foodstamps issue - you've been paying money into it all your working life it so it's not a hand-out, more like insurance. s

I second that, as well as what flapjack and eilonwy said! When I was a single mom, the state paid for my daycare, both kids were on medicaid, we did WIC, and when I was a student I received medicaid as well. I never felt a moment's guilt. I'd worked my rear off paying into those programs - aid is there for those that need it. But seriously...if you don't think you're eating enough you need to apply for the foodstamps and WIC NOW!!

Looooong day today. I have got to find a way to make everyone else in the family responsible for the housework too. I simply can't continue to do everything for six people!

[applecore]

Oh, Helen, I hope you've got enough to nail that turd!

Twyla started rolling from back to front. She seems to be much more motivated to move than the other two!

There's been quite a bit of talk about teething necklaces, and I have one for Twyla, but it doesn't seem to make much of a difference. I noticed quite a difference for Marley, though. She wore hers for at least 2 1/2 years. Even if it isn't working, it still looks cute as sin!

My sis is now pumping and giving bottles of EBM. She said it breaks her heart when he turns to her breast and she knows she can't nurse him. I'm just hoping that within a week things will be healed enough for her to try again at the breast. : Thanks for all the good thoughts, girls. I love you all, too!

[birthmommom]

well mamas I totally agree.

actually when I was a single mom i was on WIC, foodstamps, cash assistance,and bdd was on medicaid...and after awhile i felt awful. I feel like we just need a little boost right now, not forever , and heck if we aren't going to get our ss that we pay into why not get seomthing back when we are in need.
I think I have found and insurance plan for just ds that we can afford so that should help. Of course I am still looking for FT work but daycare wil be an issue...guess we will worry about that if I get an offer.

Would it be totally awful if I went on WIC and just didn't tell dh? I feel like that is horrible and a total break of trust...he just wont bend. I tried to talk tohim about it yesterday but then he tells me to take the cc and go get groceries...hello we are in debt consolidation we are trying to get OUT of debt not in more
I have been eating more but the food is going quickly...heck i just at a salad and half a big hamburger and I am still starving. For dinner we had baked potato with broccoli and cheese. it just doesn't go far enough and I think, well if i don't eat and ds stops nursing we will have to get wic for formula and that is just dumb.
dh says...well the good thing abotu being poor is we can loose some weight...I am losing weight!!! and not the good way with exercise. I have stopped exercising b/c I want to hold onto every calorie I have for milk production.

well anyway...Henry practiced sitting up today and did really well...there is a pic on his blog in my sig.

[lovetobemama]

Originally Posted by birthmommom

well mamas I totally agree.

Would it be totally awful if I went on WIC and just didn't tell dh? .

NO!! Not awful at all! Normally, I am a big fan of openness in a marriage at all times...honesty is so important for trust, yadda, yadda, yadda...but in this instance, you are a nursing mama, and you have to be in a place where you aren't worried about getting the calories you need to produce milk. Its as simple as that. You have been paying into this program every time you have ever paid taxes, and this is EXACTLY what it was designed for.

Some men (my DH for insance) has a strong connection to the idea of being a "provider". Maybe for your DH, the idea of WIC makes him feel like he is not providing. But, even if this is true, that doesn't make it ok for you guys to go further into debt for groceries when there is a program that is designed for your situation.

Is your marriage the kind where, instead of not tell him at all, you could just say, "I love you and love how you take care of us all, but WIC is designed for nursing women like me with kids this age, and I am going to take advantage of it." Or something along those lines, to make clear that this isn't a front to him or his manliness, but you are making a personal decision for yourself.

[lovetobemama]

Originally Posted by eilonwy

You know, two year olds get a bad rap, but in my experience they are the most loving creatures on Earth.

I totally agree!!!

helen, can't wait to hear about what you do with the video!!!

Mommy2abigail, have sleep issues ever gotten any better?

applecore, thinking about your sis and her sweet babe!!

Sarah, hugs to cutie-patootie Grace! Ben likes to wrap up his stuffed animals in his "moby wrap" too...I totally need to get a pic!

[birthmommom]

Is your marriage the kind where, instead of not tell him at all, you could just say, "I love you and love how you take care of us all, but WIC is designed for nursing women like me with kids this age, and I am going to take advantage of it." Or something along those lines, to make clear that this isn't a front to him or his manliness, but you are making a personal decision for yourself

I don't think so...he is very against it. But thanks for the back up...I may do just that I not say anything...i do the shopping and money stuff so he wouldn't even know.

I am really excited cuz I recieved Lakshmi's teething necklace today. I tore into the package and then set it outside in the sun for a bit.

did I miss something...was I supposed to put this in the sun before he wore it?

[sarahn4639]

Wow Helen! I can't believe you caught them! I hope this helps your case in getting this resolved!! I guess I've never posted there because I wasn't in the DDC. I didn't find MDC for a few months after she was born so I felt weird jumping in. There have been people here that have joined since the DDC closed and I don't think that's weird at all so maybe I will! Thanks!

Thanks Allyn! I wouldn't do it without DH knowing. I'm not saying don't do it, because it sounds like you need to get some more food! But I wouldn't be able to keep something like that from my DH. I would just say that you love and appreciate him and this is a cercumstance that these programs were designed for. It will be temporary and put to good use suporting you and your child. Perhaps focusing on needing the food to continue to provide food for Henry and if you don't you will have all the extra costs of formula and the medical problems that statistically accompany that.

Peace, I am just outside of Des Moines and we are having some major flooding issues. I know Iowa City is a well. There was talk that the levy/damn near there was going to go but it is hanging in there so far. The really scary part is that we are supposed to get from 3-6 MORE inches in the next 2 days!! Thankfully we don't live in a flood area but with that much water noone is totally safe! Thanks for thinking of us! I'm also interested in hearing how the necklace goes in the next few days. I'm very interested in the whole thing!

eilonwy, I totally agree with you on the "terrible 2s". Yes, there is more boundary testing and individuality but I'd never say she's terrible! There are wonderful things that come with that newfound individuality! That's so funny that Bella "misses" you. I get that too!

Jen, I'm glad you're getting a little break!

Opera, you definately need to make those boys do their fair share! It's not healthy to do it all yourself. Just remember that it's for their own good. They will move out one day and need to know how to take care of themselves!

Raina, That is great the Twyla is already rolling, wow! I'm so sorry for your sister. I know you are a great support for her and you'll help her get thru this. I think it's almost as hard ot watch someone go thru this (as a lactivist) as it is to do it yourself....almost. Big hugs to her.

Emily, I'd love to see pics!! I've never seen your little ones! A Moby's pretty advanced! He's doing good!

Does anyone else get high on their baby's breath? What I wouldn't give to be able to bottle that smell! Poor boy get's sick of havign my nose in his mouth! I was the same way with Grace. It was so sad when she started eating enough solids that her breath started to change. Am I a freak?

[eilonwy]

Originally Posted by sarahn4639

Does anyone else get high on their baby's breath? What I wouldn't give to be able to bottle that smell! Poor boy get's sick of havign my nose in his mouth! I was the same way with Grace. It was so sad when she started eating enough solids that her breath started to change. Am I a freak?

Totally stupid, but this is one of the things I miss most when it comes to bottle feeding. : Bear's burps don't smell like sweet milk or like what I ate yesterday, they smell... well, blank. His breath isn't bad (thank goodness-- fresh Neocate has no smell at all) but it isn't that sweet, mouth-watering, fills-your-tummy-with-mushy-love-loves smell, either.

At least on the Neocate, he smells like a baby again. Almost. On the other stuff, he just smelled... wrong.

[Jezzy]

Helen, I hope you nail him too.

About the teething neclaces. I have one for ash too. small round stones. It seems to put dents in her neck and under her chin though and I always take it off because i think that it is hurting her. Do your babies get dents from the stones too? Is it ok.

sarahn4639, I love that smell too

[flapjack]

Allyn, I wouldn't with-hold the information. I would tell him that you're doing it. What I will say to your DH is that one of the hugest contributing factors to the breakup of my marriage is that seven months after Rowan died when I was pregnant with Isaac, unable to work (or even walk) with a slipped disc in my back, my then husband refused to sign the forms for us to claim income support or housing benefit to top up my sick pay. We never recovered from that financially, and it was completely unnecessary.
What we have is proof that he's responsible for the nasty crap being stuck to the garage, another copy of the Lucian Freud picture (in my blog, if you haven't seen it) and logically therefore also the anonymous letter. This is enough for a court to grant an ASBO (antisocial behaviour order) which means that if our car tyres are done again, it will be assumed that he is responsible. Before we give it to the police, though, we're going to leave it to his family to see if they can figure out what's going on- but we will be giving copies to every neighbour who he keyholds for.

applecore to both you and your sister.

operamommy, I'm looking into chore wars for my lot, but out of fairness to DH, I feel we should wait until after his course finishes (6 days in school, 7 days in total.)
Oh, I forgot to mention, I went belly dancing last night My calf muscles are incredibly sore this morning though...

[applecore]

Allyn, I wouldn't be able to keep something like that from my dh. I don't know how yours is, but if mine found out that I had been dishonest, it would really be a blow to the relationship. I would just TELL (not ask) him that you need to do it for your health and Henry's, and that his pride should be less of a priority than his family's well being. Period. You have a right to get what you need, and hopefully he will realize that. But if not, it is still your right.

Jezzy, Twyla sometimes gets indentations from her necklace, but I don't think it hurts at all, or I would take it off. I look at them like pillow marks on your face in the morning. I've fallen asleep with a necklace on that left marks from the beads, too, and I never felt it.

Sarah, I love baby milk breath!

Helen, that is great news! At least you have proof so your neighbors will know what a jerk he is, even if no legal action comes of it. I was also bellydancing last night- as every Tuesday. I have a 3 hour choreography workshop this weekend, too! I'm totally excited! They're even giving a break halfway through so Scott can bring Twyla for me to nurse her.

Okay, breakfast needs to be made. Motherhood calls...

[Teenytoona]

I agree with everyone else, Allyn. Just tell him you're doing it, and his reaction be damned. You need to be able to function, ya know, your baby needs sustenance too! to you.

Sheesh what craziness have we stumbled on? Well DP had been attempting to WAH, but no work was coming in. So he got a job. UGH what a headache it's been. I have a friend watching DD from Monday -today and then he was supposed to find someone for tomorrow and friday. He hasn't yet. So fortunately my little sis back from college will do it tomorrow and friday. Of course I don't have any idea for next week.

But, the plot thickens. The youngest two DSC come in for a landing monday evening for the summer. We have no plans for their care (the three of them 2 DSC and DD). None. I keep prodding him on it, but he's one of those "it'll all fall into place, don't worry" sorts. UGH: I'm going to try to take off their first Tuesday here, but I can't do it non-stop

Wish he'd have stuck it out for a few more weeks. He had an inkling of work coming in just as he accepted the WOH job. I know he'd really benefit from staying home with them, money would be tight, but it has been, why would it suddenly be any harder?

ETA: what is this milk breath you all speak of? All I smell is a funky sort of cheese smell... maybe that's thrush related though?

[operamommy]

Re: flooding - I forgot to mention, I live in Indiana, where 1/3 of the counties have been declared disaster areas! Our area was not affected, and luckily all of my friends and family who live in those areas are safe. On the day it started we were on our way up to my in-laws and ran into a storm with 70mph winds. It was incredibly scary - big limbs flying across the road, etc. We had to pull over and take shelter at a stranger's house! But anyway, it's terrible in the flooded areas. Entire towns are shut down. My sis is an insurance agent, and she's said it's horrible, because people have lost everything and nothing can be done for them as most people don't have flood insurance.

flapjack, glad you got proof on your nasty neighbor!

I have a teething necklace for Peter, and he still drools like a wild man. But he looks adorable wearing it! And yes, sometimes he gets bead marks too.

birthmommom, I'm going to say this....what your dh is doing is a break of trust. You trust him to help you care for your family and make certain that needs are met. He's not doing that. I'm sorry he's being such a hardhead about it. Go apply for everything today. *hugs*

nausicamom, good to see you!!

applecore, yay on Twyla rolling! Peter acts like he's going to but never does.

[Teenytoona]

My word, there's a February 2009 DDC up.... it does NOT seem that long ago that this all began.

[nausicaamom]

yikes teeny - I hope the childcare situation resolves itself and soon. Alex has rolled over a few times but his favorite thing is to spin - I'll put him down for a few minutes and when I go back to him he's facing a different direction. I have one of those "gym" things from when Michael was a babe and Alex is having a ball batting at the stuff hanging from it.

I can't believe I've been a mom for four years now. I'm hoping to carve out some time tonight to do a little photo montage for the blog. We really aren't doing much to celebrate today except run down to the corner for some Italian ice - on Saturday we are doing a park outing with some of his friends and in the afternoon we are going to my mom's for a cook-out.

Any plans for Father's Day? I've been trying to get my husband to commit to something but it's been hard. If the weather is good I may push for a zoo trip early so we can relax the rest of the day.

Can't quite believe it, but Alex has just fallen asleep sitting on my lap.

[flapjack]

River does that more often than I'm prepared to admit : If I sit at the computer for five minutes with him facing away from me, he'll tuck his head down into my boob and doze off for a while
I'm looking at the hazelwood necklaces for River, as he's still a bit refluxy and has this yucky green poo- anyone got any experience? It's meant to help balance acid/alkalinity

[PlayaMama]

Originally Posted by flapjack

AlwaysByMySide, big hugs to you. You know we're in the same situation with my FIL (except that he doesn't have dementia), right? I'm here if you need to vent.

my dad lives with us and it's good and bad. i can't walk around the house in my underware and my dad has memory loss so he drives my mate batty. plus he forgets to shower or eat BUT he plays with lazlo and can talk to and distract linnaea while she is lying down... it's totally bittersweet.