February 08 - 1 Year Ago We Were All Knocked Up!! - Page 19

[Teenytoona]

I'm a (step)grandma and an oaf. When we got the news of DSD-17's c/s I roared about how angry I was and totally overlooked the fact that Mr Toona was estatic about his new grandson. So yesterday instead of two happy grandparents, it was at first me: and him: I really can be thoughtless sometimes. But then we called in DSS-8 and DSD-6, told them their nephew was born, they promptly asked: "is it a boy or a girl" : and there was excitement again.

I didn't get to talk to her very long, but she's having trouble latching him, and about the birth she said "it was awful." I'm trying to think of something special to put in a care package for her. I'm sending her all out barely used onsies and some things, but I want something special to send as well... Any ideas?

ETA: off to read the other replies...

[nolonger]

Originally Posted by Teenytoona

I'm trying to think of something special to put in a care package for her. I'm sending her all out barely used onsies and some things, but I want something special to send as well... Any ideas?
.

a yoga ball (if she doesn't already have one) and a CD of putumayo's african playground

the combo is absolutely magical for a cranky baby. she won't believe it without seeing it any more than i did.

also a sling if she doesn't have one, but choice of style, fabric etc. is kind of a personal choice, so i don't think it would make as good of a surprise.

please be gentle with yourself; you've been dealing with your own birth trauma the last few days so it's only natural that you'd react the way you did to dsd's c/s.

sorry i've been mia and i so appreciate all the well wishes, i'm just not ready to talk about my own life much just yet.

[firecat]

dang I feel lile I dropped off the face of the earth been super busy no time to post but hopefully I have some time now. things are good here jackson is sweet as ever. gonna go back and read now and post more later!!

[flapjack]

NOS, good to see you.

Rynna, WTF did you DO? Don't tell me, it's going to make me feel old, or square, or something.

Teeny I personally think you should send her a vast quantity of chocolate, a copy of Breeder by Ariel Gore (or a subscription to Hipmama, or both), a single copy of Mothering, lots of scrumptious bath and shower stuff, IOU's for babysitting, a listening ear on the end of the phone, etc. and a beautiful nursing necklace. Any or all of the above

[salt_phoenix]

Originally Posted by eilonwy

Now I'm wondering if my brain will ever feel normal again. : I mean I'm still perceiving things oddly, and I find that so disturbing.

I don't mean to laugh, but if I had a dollar for every time I heard that... I'm not sure what you did, but I can assure you that you aren't broken... maybe just a little time and processing is all you need. Altered states are nothing to be taken lightly, as you have well found out... however I do believe that SOMETIMES, it's just what mother nature ordered.
Sometimes perceptions NEED to shaken up a little, but maybe that's just me, lol.
I never could do those things in large crowds... they are better left to a small intimate group (or couple) in nature... Crowds always messed me up/left me feeling wack.

[eilonwy]

Originally Posted by flapjack

Rynna, WTF did you DO? Don't tell me, it's going to make me feel old, or square, or something.

I'm not sure, truth be told. I was dosed with something. Most of the people I've asked seem to think it was acid; one thought perhaps opium, and my sister seems to think it sounds like a candy flip. : From the little bit of research I've managed, I think at this point that my sister is correct in thinking that it was either a candy flip or a combination of E and roofies. : :

It makes *me* feel old and square. And, as I said before, nowhere near cool enough for Gaian Mind. Not. Even. Close. I mean, even if I was going to do crazy stuff (and I wasn't and wouldn't), I would never, ever, ever do such a thing less than 12 hours before I was planning to drive home. No, I was dosed. The little boy who worked staff said that it probably wasn't malicious at all, that the person who shared (if it was in fact deliberate-- it may have been entirely accidental) probably thought that I knew what I was doing, that I was on that level because it was, after all, Gaian Mind and that sort of thing goes down... but I am SO not on that level and never have been.

[salt_phoenix]

Originally Posted by eilonwy

I'm not sure, truth be told. I was dosed with something.

Now THAT's NOT COOL... I would NEVER go to a fest or the like if I thought I was going to be unwillingly (or without permission) dosed with ANYTHING... what if you WERE bfing or pg? that's totally not cool imo. NOT COOL.

I always ask if someone offers me candy or chocolate or cookies or drinks or an herbal spritz or ANYTHING... I'd say that my peaceful side would LOSE IT if someone was being "secretly generous". In fact, I'd be pissed and the world would know it was given to me without permission.

I'd be "off" too!!! Sorry you had to deal with that.

[lovetobemama]

Originally Posted by flapjack

Rynna, WTF did you DO? Don't tell me, it's going to make me feel old, or square, or something.

: I'm so sad to admit that I don't even know what candy flip is. It's never been my culture, either, but at least I used to know all the terms. \

Teeny, I would guess that the most important thing she needs is just to talk it all out...especially to someone like you who has just been through birth and can truly empathize with the emotions involved. Send her a phone card and tell her to call A LOT!

As for us, Molly turned 4 mos yesterday, and had a well-baby visit today...15 pounds (75%tile) and 25 in (90%tile). We grow em big here in our house! She still seems tiny to me, though. DS was big, too, and people's comments about it would always bother me because I always thought, "well, he may be bigger than most other babies his age, but he is smaller today than he will ever be again!" I guess that I am over it pretty well by now, though people don't really say it about DD.

[nolonger]

Originally Posted by flapjack

:

NOS Sometimes, in your relationship with your DS1 I can see me and Isaac. .

please get yourself a copy of hold on to your kids by gordon neufeld. i know, i know, i had every excuse in the book: i was waiting my turn for the library copy before it got stolen and i was constantly being reminded that I spent "too much" money on books for someone who couldn't find a job and wasn't getting child support so I put it off and put it off until it felt like reading an autopsy by the time I finally got my hands on it.

You and Isaac still have time to turn things around. it's not too late, Helen; it doesn't have to end this waY.

[PlayaMama]

Originally Posted by Teenytoona

I'm a (step)grandma and an oaf. When we got the news of DSD-17's c/s I roared about how angry I was and totally overlooked the fact that Mr Toona was estatic about his new grandson.

I'm trying to think of something special to put in a care package for her. I'm sending her all out barely used onsies and some things, but I want something special to send as well... Any ideas?

oh my gosh. i completely understand your anger. it was so predictable. uh oh big baby, must induce you now, oops induction not working/messing up, time for a c-section.

i would have been pissed off too!

care package ideas... badger balms are awesome!!! http://www.badgerbalm.com/pc-397-13-...bies-moms.aspx

maybe a nursing necklace... maybe a call to an LC or La Leche to make sure she gets help nursing? big hugs for you!!

[eilonwy]

Originally Posted by salt_phoenix

I don't mean to laugh, but if I had a dollar for every time I heard that... I'm not sure what you did, but I can assure you that you aren't broken... maybe just a little time and processing is all you need. Altered states are nothing to be taken lightly, as you have well found out... however I do believe that SOMETIMES, it's just what mother nature ordered.

Oh, certainly. I freely admit that I rather enjoyed the feeling: it was the not knowing that really threw me out of whack. I felt myself start to get paranoid/scared a few times, but the fellow who got me back to my tent helped me calm down. I trusted him implicitly.. though that was probably the drugs, it turns out that said trust was well placed. (Yeah, I'm also lucky, have I mentioned?)

Originally Posted by salt_phoenix

Now THAT's NOT COOL... I would NEVER go to a fest or the like if I thought I was going to be unwillingly (or without permission) dosed with ANYTHING... what if you WERE bfing or pg? that's totally not cool imo. NOT COOL.

I always ask if someone offers me candy or chocolate or cookies or drinks or an herbal spritz or ANYTHING... I'd say that my peaceful side would LOSE IT if someone was being "secretly generous". In fact, I'd be pissed and the world would know it was given to me without permission.

I'd be "off" too!!! Sorry you had to deal with that.

I don't think it was malicious, if it was even deliberate; Given the circumstances, it's entirely possible that it was accidental. If it was deliberate, again, it probably wasn't a deliberate attempt to harm me. As the little boy working staff said, they probably thought I was on that level just because I was there. "It's Gaian Mind," he said, as though that explained everything. Mama Dragon had the same opinion. Everyone knew that I was not the sort to willingly do that sort of thing, though; Everyone who knew me, that is. So I didn't have to defend myself, or get laughed at or anything like that... they were all super sweet and concerned, because they know that I just don't do that sort of thing. Everyone was extra cool with me while I tried to collect my senses (I went to sleep around 3 a.m., woke up still quite trippy around eleven). The guy who took me back to my tent, for example, refused to stay and snuggle even though I begged him not to leave me alone-- he said that I'd probably pass out as soon as someone wasn't talking to me, and that he couldn't take advantage of someone who was messed up, to say nothing of someone who was messed up beyond her personal threshold. When I argued that I only wanted snuggles, he said that he knew himself better than that.

But yeah, everyone was very cool to me. I have real friends there. It's nice.

Originally Posted by lovetobemama

: I'm so sad to admit that I don't even know what candy flip is. It's never been my culture, either, but at least I used to know all the terms.

A combination of acid and ecstasy. I'm sure the ecstasy/roofie combo also has a cutsie rave name, but I don't know it. :

[PlayaMama]

i accidentally dosed myself at burning man 2005, lazlo was still ebf. i knew better but still ate a piece of candy from an art installation. about two minutes later i was like, that candy was actually not sweet and didn't have any branding i recognize. oops. i made myself puke and about fifteen minutes later felt myself start to get trippy.

i made my way back to camp. they contacted rangers who contacted medical staff... apparently it is safe to nurse after getting dosed luckily the trip remained very mild but it really sucked to get something like that when not expecting it.

[flapjack]

Oh Rynna

NOS, for some reason I've always resisted reading HOTYK- maybe now's the right time for us? I have a months free trial on amazon prime and am using (and abusing) it.

[Jezzy]

I am sorry that happend to you Rynna! I hope you are feeling better soon.!


NOS

[birthmommom]

s: NOS...I hope you join us again soon.

s: Rynna..that totally sucks, esp since you weren't prepared. I hope you get back to normal soon.

Teeny...I am sorry you sdd is having a hard time. I agree, send her a phone card and make sure a LC is going to see her.


So our elimination diet is helping. He is still spitting up but not as phlemy, and he has pooped a lot and it is not a phlemy either....YAY! So i am going to stay on this for the month...right now we are 9 days. I may not reintroduce based on that my bdd has the same allergies. i will probably wait until a year...but I will probably wean then too.

[Teenytoona]

OH Allyn! YAY!! Good to hear of some improvement. You rock on Momma!

NOS we're thinking of you.

Ugh Rynna on the dosing thing. I hope you feel better soon.

Hi back at you firecat!

Thanks for the ideas all! I think I'm going to do a yoga ball and maybe some sort of hipmama thing for DSD, but I'm going to wait until Mr Toona and I can go together to pick something out. He reeally ought to have some input here as I've totally overshadowed/ lashed out on him ALOT lately due to birth anger.

Ok, so I know Rynna and Peace Laughing are those who've got their inner freak/geek/wild woman side hiding. I'm a little scaredy cat of those cool fesitvals due to the sort of thing Rynna's experiencing. I think I'd really love to try the Michigan Women's Music Fest one day.... I think there are a few others, but I need to add myself to that group. I've got that side of me that's busting to come out. Perhaps especially since the momma/grandmomma thing. Man could I go for somethign like that Rynna. I'm so vicariously living through you (in what little hints you give, I like to add my own details to your stories,, heh). Man I really need a drinkin' night!

[eilonwy]

Originally Posted by PlayaMama

i accidentally dosed myself at burning man 2005, lazlo was still ebf. i knew better but still ate a piece of candy from an art installation. about two minutes later i was like, that candy was actually not sweet and didn't have any branding i recognize. oops. i made myself puke and about fifteen minutes later felt myself start to get trippy.

i made my way back to camp. they contacted rangers who contacted medical staff... apparently it is safe to nurse after getting dosed luckily the trip remained very mild but it really sucked to get something like that when not expecting it.

Exactly-- and I've *never* been expecting it. Hence my acknowledgement that I am simply not cool enough for Gaian Mind. But no, I didn't eat or drink anything that had been given to me by an untrustworthy source. It was either something in a little purple pipe (my sister says it's very common for people to soak pot in ecstasy & acid and let it dry before they smoke it) or a tab that rubbed off onto me (sweat, rain, dancing... yeah), or a kiss or who knows what. I mean the possible mechanisms of delivery are wide open. Which explains, of course, why the young fellow didn't dance much, and spent all of his time working in the kitchen or at Dragons or at registration. Is it weird that a fifteen year old kid who doesn't do drugs was way more on the up-and-up than I?

I'm glad I wasn't breastfeeding.. but if I was, I'd have had Bear and/or Bella with me, so I probably wouldn't have gotten as far from my tent as I did.

I am still riding the wave. : My life has been intensely crazy for some time now, but at least I'm feeling positively about it. People like me; I have friends, I get out of the house and socialize with people who know that I am a mother but don't think of me as, exclusively, a mother, because they themselves are more multifaceted than that. The woman who runs the kitchen, for example, is a tattoo artist, loves psy-trance (Gaian Mind is her favorite festival), has loads of piercings, and is nursing her 15 month old (the three year old has been weaned-- she was a twiddler ). Something which totally tickled me pink: I ran into her daughter before I left, and I was wearing the bag in which I carry my tarot cards. She pointed to the bag, eyes wide and sparkly and said, "Are your cards in there?!" and when I said yes, she wanted to draw one. I was just tickled to be in a place where a three year old would recognize a bag as being the right size to have a deck of tarot cards in it. And know what to do with them! So adorable. She and her aunt (who is about six) each drew a card, and told the woman who was watching them that she needed to draw as well.

Yeah see, I'm still kinda rambly. My sister said it was like, a couple of months after she dropped before she was totally clear again. Her story, when I asked, "Have you ever dropped?": "One year, for new year's eve, our school had us all sign a contract saying that we wouldn't drink alcohol or smoke pot, we'd just have a good time. So, we all got together and dropped acid." Way to obey the spirit of the law.

[eilonwy]

Originally Posted by Teenytoona

Ok, so I know Rynna and Peace Laughing are those who've got their inner freak/geek/wild woman side hiding. I'm a little scaredy cat of those cool fesitvals due to the sort of thing Rynna's experiencing. I think I'd really love to try the Michigan Women's Music Fest one day.... I think there are a few others, but I need to add myself to that group. I've got that side of me that's busting to come out. Perhaps especially since the momma/grandmomma thing. Man could I go for somethign like that Rynna. I'm so vicariously living through you (in what little hints you give, I like to add my own details to your stories,, heh). Man I really need a drinkin' night!

While I won't be going back to GM as things stand now, I'm SO glad to have found the Farm, and to be attending festivals. I'm also glad that I got utterly trashed at Wickerman-- it broke down some serious barriers I've had up for years and left me free. It's so brilliant to be able to discuss my views on love and sex and have people understand and accept them. It's brilliant to be able to do that with everything! I really haven't been happier in recent memory. Even the unexpected trip had positive effects; I learned that the people I'd started thinking of as friends really *were* friends. I'm totally basking in the love and reflecting love of my own. It's fantastic.

I wonder when the glitter wears off. I mean I've heard that it can and does for some people. Ah, who cares-- I'm going to fully enjoy it while it lasts.

[salt_phoenix]

Originally Posted by eilonwy

So, we all got together and dropped acid." Way to obey the spirit of the law.

Go DARE program!

I'm pretty up front with my kids about all that I've done. I know that people get into WAY more trouble with alcohol than A LOT of other things, psychedelics especially. I consider them a spiritual tool anyway, more than some illicit drug for recreational use only. They are of little use if that is the only application. As it is, my nearly 20 year old has had her time of exploration and has happily come out the other side, no worse for wear, and with NO interest for the hard stuff.
You are right about the possibility of accidental dosing. Acid seems to be pretty likely, as it comes off and absorbs so easily. Mushrooms have to be ingested (and you can taste them no matter what) Ecstasy isn't that volatile. Acid is easily absorbed right through the skin.

On a completely different note: We are on DAY ONE of our summer camping extravaganza!!! It's a crappy dust storm filled day, so fishing in the reservoir and hiking the hills will have to wait. We have a lovely empty campground all to ourselves. I'm totally stoked about this whole living in the RV thing, albeit a little nervous. I'll try to get some pics up soon, or at least get my blog link active so that you all can take a peak at my non-conventional lifestyle. (even for mdc )

We are doing a postcard swap with my March DDC, I'm loving the idea. Would that be of interest to anyone here?

[eilonwy]

Yay postcards!