February 08 - 1 Year Ago We Were All Knocked Up!! - Page 24

[lovetobemama]

Originally Posted by Jezzy

I made a cake today and after I got done frosting it I decided to lick the spoon : Ashlee was in her RS and grabbed the spoon and shoved it as fast as she could in her mouth.

OMG...Ashlee is a girl right from my own heart...other than mama's milk, the first thing she eats is chocolate!!! I LOVE it!

Originally Posted by eilonwy

I think you're suffering under a misapprehension about what constitutes "sleeping through the night" if you think that most mainstream kids are doing so at four months.

I would have totally agreed that this was my issue with DS, I definitely didn't know what to expect. But now, all I hope for from Molly is 3.5 to 4 hour stretches at night between feedings. That, to me, is great sleep. And, if she could some day get to just one night nursing, I would be fine with that forever, pretty much. What killed me with Ben was that, at around 7 or 8 mos, he started waking up every couple of hours...sometimes closer. He continued to do this until 15 mos when I night-weaned him. It was awful, and the most sleep deprived that I have ever been. He was in a co-sleeper, and then a sidecar crib, and sometimes our bed, so I know he didn't feel abandoned, and I always fed him so I know he wasn't hungry, and it lasted WAY too long to just be due to a growth spurt or something. And I have to admit that I am terrified that Molly is only going to start waking up more often rather than less.
BTW, that's so cute that Bear likes a little alone time!

Originally Posted by ema-adama

Was needing to post about DH having a really tough time being a new dad, but will have to tomorrow. Hillel has just woken up again and requires mum NOW

Hope everything is ok for him! What's going on?

Sarah Can't wait to see the pics! And I've been thinking about a nursing tank, too. Maybe I should get one, huh?

Originally Posted by BabyBump

Eli is very close to rolling over, but gives up once he can't figure out what to do with his arm. When he's on his belly he'll scootch himself around to see different things. It's cute to watch him. He's become quite the flirt when we are out and about.

He sounds so cute! Can't wait to hear when he finally figures it out! And great job on cleaning the fridge...I got a few nasty things out of mine today too. Though my poor SIL got to the hummus before I did. She took a big scoop out of the dish and at it on a cracker. After she finished her bite she looked up and said, "it's supposed to be orange on top, right?" I could only just quitely say, "uh...not really.":Puke:Puke:

[Jezzy]

sarahn4639 I really did LOVE your pregnancy pics. Cant wait to see the pics that you had done this time

Originally Posted by lovetobemama

After she finished her bite she looked up and said, "it's supposed to be orange on top, right?" I could only just quitely say, "uh...not really.":Puke:Puke:

Yuck!

[ema-adama]

Hi,
Well, after a night sleep and some perspective this no longer seems to be such an issue.

Basically yesterday DH and I were talking about some of the difficulties we have been having with his family (we live right near his two sets of parents - mine are a 12 hour flight away), especially in regard to Hillel. Anyway, then DH pretty much burst into tears and told me he has been having dreams he feels very guilty about, dreams where he puts Hillel away and hopes he will disappear and then wakes up feeling horrified at his dream and I think very scared by it as well! (he has had this dream twice) I just comforted him and tried to soothe him - he was hurting so much!!! We then spoke very honestly about all the changes having a baby has brought into our lives, for the good and the bad.... but I know that he is still hurting and confused... I tried sharing with him about my experience of having a baby making everything more intense - the whole range of emotions....

He was then worried that I thought he doesn't want Hillel and I assured him that I know that he loves Hillel very much, but that there is also a new inescapable reality in our lives and family politics are just going to be part of that!

I come from a very different set of values than what he grew up with and now that I am a mum I am wanting to bring my family up with values that are important to me (obviously) and these are in direct conflict with his family's values (western medicine - doctors).... - we're a bit like dharma and greg - and so essentially becoming a father has also taken my DH a couple of steps away from his family and put him in direct conflict with a professor of medicine father who believes only his opinion is the correct one... DH and I are in constant communication regarding our differences and trying to find OUR way in the midst of family pressures...

Anyway, this has ended up being a bit of a ramble.... I am sure these issues are rather universal and it has helped to write the out..

[ema-adama]

sarahn4639 & lovetobemama, thanks for the concern...

[cwoodard]

Megan, I'm sorry you and DH have to deal with that added stress right now. I hope it gets better over time.:

[Writerbird]

Originally Posted by smokeylo

Robin is at least 16 lbs right now. She has the chunkiest thighs -- she is on the largest setting on her one size diapers!! AT 4 MONTHS!!!! I don't know what I'll do if she outgrows them (she has plenty of room in the rise, but her fat legs keep on growing ahead of the curve).

Yes, this is exactly our problem! I'm ridiculously proud of his chunky legs, but it's making diaper time a little annoying. Especially since he doesn't want to hold still during changes, the little goon.

Emadama - the distance thing is such a compounding thing. My husband and I see eye to eye on a lot of things, but I can see holidays becoming a major problem. My folks live across the country, his giant family (that I love, mind you) lives within two hours of us. When I say that my parents would love to see their grandbaby open presents over the big winter holiday, he says, "Great, they're totally invited to my mom's house." Er... yes, but we have some family traditions TOO! I can't imagine trying to mix that in with vastly different approaches as you must.

Cynthia - that's why the Feb 08 girls usually rebel and take things offsite for swaps - the rules are in place to protect people from fraud, and are quite sensible, but we don't like to cut new people out of the fun.

Lovetobe - These days I mainly write for my job, sadly. I guess you could say I'm a blogger for my industry. But I used to be a freelance writer, doing advertising copy for money and feature writing for love. My fiction is terrible. I do great beginnings, not so much with the middles. And these days... if I can't finish it in three hours, it doesn't get done!

Sleep issues: Dunno about others, but EG wakes up around seven, has milk, goes back down until nine, has milk, plays until 11, goes to sleep, wakes up at 1, has milk, plays until around 4 or 5, has milk, goes down until 6, has milk, takes a 45 minute nap at around 8, wake up, and nurses/plays until around 11, at which point he's out until 2 or 5, depending on how much nursing he did versus playing. If he wakes up at 2 he doesn't usually wake until 7, but if he made it to 5 he still wakes at 7!

Oh, and on weekends he usually skips the late morning nap, as DADDY is way too awesome to miss out on.

So I get two long stretches at night... for NOW, until teething gets going, and I think we're almost there - lately he doesn't just suck on his rattles, he gums them.

[BabyBump]

Emadama, so sorry to hear about the struggles. Remember above this your child and only you and your husband have the ultimate decision on what is best. I know it's hard when others give advice. I usually smile and think thoughts to myself.

As for your husband having a hard time adjusting-totally there with you. My daughter was 2 1/2 when my husband came into our lives. He hadn't been around a baby since he was 12 and his sister was born. We were all used to being able to go do whatever at the spur of the moment. That's not so easy with a newborn. Your life changes to meet their schedule. He's struggled with that the most-suddenly life revolved around Eli and what Eli needs. He's gotten much better as time goes by. He had some whacked out dreams too, but once he talked about them they seemed to stop. I'll be thinking of you.

[BabyBump]

Will someone please explain the concept of shaking solids out to me???

There are days my pump and I just don't get along when I'm at work. If you can't pump it out you don't have it for the next days feedings. It started happening about a month ago and after a tearful conversation with the LC at our hospital I made the decision to supplement with formula. I really didn't have much of a choice since I could get much of anything to pump out and he has to eat. I cried about for a couple of days as I wanted him to only have breastmilk until we started solids. Felt like I was losing something, but Eli seemed to cares less about what was in the bottle as long as something was there and he still got excited when we would get in position to nurse. All made me feel better.

Anyway long story short- between the occasional bottle of formula and the bit of solids we have started his poop is not the nice breastmilk poop anymore. How in the world are you supposed to shake some of that out of the diapers? His clings to the diper and I make a bigger mess when I try to take a piece of tissue a scrape it out. I'm sure this seems quite funny to someone out there! Should I swish the diapers instead?

[sarahn4639]

heather, i just got james a haba toy too. we got the frog thing. i love it but ot was so expensive. i just kept telling myself it will last a very long time and it's a quality toy. i love their things! Also, I'm sorry about the formula. I would have been really upset too but as long as you know you did everything in your power then you can just be thankful it's available when truely needed. As far as the diapers go we have this mini spray thing. we haven't hooked it up yet but i used it when i babysat for a friend and it was great. i do know some people swish though and did some with grace.


emily, this is the tank i got. it was in the store but only in black and white. i'm glad i looked it up and saw there were more colors though. if i wear it alot i'll get another one.

thanks sharun. she said she was going to work on them tonight so i'm excited to see how soon i can see them! i'll definately post them!

Megan, that must be really rough for both of you! i hope he's able to process thru these feelings soon. i also hope his family can be resectful of your choices. i love the dharma/greg comparison. that's a really cute show but would make for a difficult reality!

cynthia, alexander is so cute! the pic of you together is great.

writer, eg is adorable. i especially liked sweet boy 008. i hope he keeps sleeping well!

so i'm up late sewing a wet bag. i'm just winging it because i need a big one to take on vacation this week (don't want to take the pail!) so far so good but now i'm to the zipper and i've never done a zipper before so i don't know what i'll do. i'm super tempted to just put a drawstring in! i'll see how it goes. but james woke up to nurse so i've been side tracked!

i hope everyone had a good weekend!

[eilonwy]

Originally Posted by BabyBump

Will someone please explain the concept of shaking solids out to me???

Anyway long story short- between the occasional bottle of formula and the bit of solids we have started his poop is not the nice breastmilk poop anymore. How in the world are you supposed to shake some of that out of the diapers? His clings to the diper and I make a bigger mess when I try to take a piece of tissue a scrape it out. I'm sure this seems quite funny to someone out there! Should I swish the diapers instead?

I'm curious-- why have you started solids already? It's still kind of early...

As to the poop: If it's still too soft to shake, it's too soft to shake. Not much for it. You can always get one of those rinsy things that attaches to your toilet, or a dunking tool, or hand rinse them in the sink... or you can go the lazy route and drop them in a diaper pail (wet or dry). In this weather, rinsing is definately your best bet.

[sarahn4639]

i did it and i'm darn proud of myself! now off to bed!!

[Jezzy]

sarahn4639 post a pic please i would LOVE to see it!

ema-adamasounds like we are in a similar boat. I am also really far away from my fam and we live right next door to hisI know that it isn't easy. I hate how they but in and come by when they feel like it and how they feel it is their right to give advice when it isn't needed: or wanted

I am sorry that your dh is having these dreams. It isn't always easy adjusting

[ema-adama]

cwoodard - Thanks.... I know it will get better, but it is gonna take time - lots of lessons to be learnt by both of us

Writerbird - yeah, we're learning to take small steps together and not do anything too drastic. I've been slowly getting used to life in Israel for 4 years - and DH has slowly been getting used to a more alternative lifestyle (Luckily we have made friends here who are totally into an "alternative" way of living)
Re DS sleeping and gumming, I think our LO's are pretty much on the same vibe.... not looking forward to teething - poor thing


BabyBump - I'm learning to compartmentalise my IL's prejudices as their problem and try very hard to not let it annoy/hurt me... they are just so bl**dy arrogant about it! :
With DH I think he really does miss me and the life we had, pretty much like you experienced with your DH and the loss of "the good old days" and DS becoming the centre of attention/schedule

sarahn4639 - mhmm! It does make for a rather interesting reality... don't think my IL's will ever be able to respect my choices as it would be too scary for them to challenge their very firmly held beliefs - but I am gonna give them a chance when I'm feeling stronger.
Way to go on the wet bag!!! I've been given an ancient sewing machine, and need to get it fixed, but am dying to get onto some sewing projects! Did you go with a drawstring in the end?

This MDC really does rock!! Although I think I am gonna be taking a bit of a break as I try to get my life in order a bit... at the moment I jump on the computer whenever I have a spare moment and so am neglecting doing other things that I also enjoy, like working in my garden, cooking, reading, sitting in the park drinking iced coffee.... It's a tough one

[ema-adama]

Jezzy- Thanks, missed your reply while I was replying... IL's can be such a blessing, or NOT! My parents dealt with the difficulty by moving country and I always was sad that my granny and grandpa were so far away and that all my cousins were only in flying distance.... but am beginning to understand some of the wisdom there...
am hoping that by DH having spoken about the dreams he will at least be more easy with them and not so upset by them....

[smokeylo]

Originally Posted by ema-adama

Hi,
Basically yesterday DH and I were talking about some of the difficulties we have been having with his family (we live right near his two sets of parents - mine are a 12 hour flight away), especially in regard to Hillel. [snip] I am wanting to bring my family up with values that are important to me (obviously) and these are in direct conflict with his family's values (western medicine - doctors).... - we're a bit like dharma and greg - and so essentially becoming a father has also taken my DH a couple of steps away from his family and put him in direct conflict with a professor of medicine father who believes only his opinion is the correct one.

We have been dealing with similar issues, with our own spin of course... DH's parents are Christian evangelicals who raised him in a very fundamentalist way, homeschooling, etc. They were extremely narcissistic and his childhood really was awful. We don't know how we will raise our children to respect and love their grandparents while at the same time saying we don't believe in 99% of what they do. It's hard because they're much more open to our alternative lifestyle choices (like homebirth, delayed/selective vax) than my parents (western med, but not dogmatic about it), so in some ways we line up with them, but in big important ways we dramatically CLASH. This has made it hard for DH to figure out where he stands as a father - he wants to rebel against his parents' way of doing things, but the choices we make sometimes align with their views, so he feels frustrate and complicit.

And I know DH is feeling strange about how much our life has changed with Robin's arrival. I will be quitting school to stay home/wah with her. We will be living on a shoestring budget. Life is just plain changing and DH HATES CHANGE. He's going through his own big problems quitting smoking and dealing with depression... UGH. While I am feeling peace and love and optimism (mixed with apprehension about quitting school) because I'm so blown away by being a Mom, he is seeing life crumble and feeling very fearful. I am sympathetic to that but also sick of the doom and gloom mentality. Bleh.

[sarahn4639]

okay sharun, you asked for it! pic 1 pic 2 pic 3 i did a cotton outside and a while PUL interior with a zipper. i need to read some zipper instalation tutorials before i do another one! i hope it works! it's about 18x24.

megan, i went with the zipper and just kind of did it. i'm know i did it wrong but it's in there and it zips! that's my kind of sewing! i love to sew, i'm a total novice (other than slings) and it brings me a lot of satisfaction when i complete a project. i highly encourage it! (though it can be terribly frustrating to be working on something and have to attend to children unexpectedly but such is the life of a mother!)

and i totally understand the mdc obsession. i get like that from time to time and just have to take little breaks to keep my sanity!

lauren

[eilonwy]

Originally Posted by smokeylo

We have been dealing with similar issues, with our own spin of course... DH's parents are Christian evangelicals who raised him in a very fundamentalist way, homeschooling, etc. They were extremely narcissistic and his childhood really was awful. We don't know how we will raise our children to respect and love their grandparents while at the same time saying we don't believe in 99% of what they do. It's hard because they're much more open to our alternative lifestyle choices (like homebirth, delayed/selective vax) than my parents (western med, but not dogmatic about it), so in some ways we line up with them, but in big important ways we dramatically CLASH. This has made it hard for DH to figure out where he stands as a father - he wants to rebel against his parents' way of doing things, but the choices we make sometimes align with their views, so he feels frustrate and complicit.

This is the problem with the "Let's just look at everything my parents did and do the opposite" mentality. Instead of going that route, I examine motivations; Sometimes you come to the same conclusion as someone you disagree with, but for an entirely different reason. Mike's father and sister, for example, are against sending children to public school. I happen to be against sending children to public school *by default,* but it amounts to the same thing for them. They're in favor of some people homeschooling; I'm in favor of some people homeschooling. We have entirely different reasons for this, but I try not to delve. They are also very much in favor of private schooling, thinking of it as ideal; I'm very much against private schooling, for very specific reasons which they disagree with intensely. We will NEVER find common ground there, so I try to leave things at this: Mike and I are trying to make the best decisions for OUR children. Where school is concerned, they're willing to accept that Mike and I have some sense (I am smarter than they, and Mike has a degree in education).

Religion, on the other hand... yeah, I don't think I'll get started on that here, as it's likely to get me banned. I've blogged about it more than once, though, and posted about it, too. We're never going to see eye to eye, though, and I am SO SO SO ready to take my kids to Farm and raise them there, openly pagan, and see if they want to invite their grandparents to moon services and fire circles. Come and preach hellfire and see if you get anything other than a bemused smile and condescending pat on the head.

Ugh. Now that I'm thinking about the ILs and religion again, I have heartburn. I've got to stop doing this to myself.

Life is just plain changing and DH HATES CHANGE. He's going through his own big problems quitting smoking and dealing with depression... UGH. While I am feeling peace and love and optimism (mixed with apprehension about quitting school) because I'm so blown away by being a Mom, he is seeing life crumble and feeling very fearful. I am sympathetic to that but also sick of the doom and gloom mentality. Bleh.

This will probably sound weird, but there's a whole chapter on this sort of interaction in How to Talk so Children Will Listen and How to Listen so Children Will Talk. I just can't remember their advice.

In fun news: Mike taught the kids a new knock knock joke, but they don't quite get it-- it's the interrupting cow joke, but the kids are so knock-knocked that they wait for you to finish saying "interrupting cow who?" before saying "moo!"

*sigh* Bear needs toys. This place is FULL of toys, and I'm loathe to buy new ones... but we have nothing remotely appropriate for a tiny person. By the time Bella was interested in toys at all, she was much bigger and she was not just putting thigns into her mouth. Bean had some toys which would be suitable, but they were briefly used and are long since gone (he was never a "put things in your mouth" kind of kid,and played happily with marbles and Matchbox cars when he was six months old ). I hate the idea of bringing toys into this house, but sheesh. It's going to have to be done, the kid's been playing with clothing and books and who knows what else. *sigh* Any thoughts? Inexpensive, easy to find, yet ideally not plastic? Am I hoping for something impossible? He has *one* wooden rattle, a bar with rings on it, so variety should be the easiest part.

[applecore]

We have some fabric "toys" that are just pieces of cloth with cool patterns and/or textures with bright pieces of ribbon sewn in loops along the edges. One even has something crinkly inside, so it makes noise when it's played with. I would think they would be really easy to make if you're sewing inclined. Fabric stores always have cheap remnants of fabric and ribbons.

[flapjack]

Rynna, ever heard of a treasure basket? The kids would love putting one together for Bear, I reckon. River is playing with sea shells and pine cones and wooden spoons and play silks and all sorts these days.

Lauren FWIW, a dear friend of mine from my other DDC had a similar upbringing to Brian, I'm pretty sure she'd be there for him if he needed to vent. I totally second the recommendation for HTTSKWLALSKWT- you'll need it later on anyhow, so might as well start reading it now.

ema adama, No bright words of wisdom, I think you're doing grand yourselves Is RachelEve14 (did I get the numbers right, anyone?) anywhere near you, btw?

Writerbird, you're great, you know that?

Babybump, you have just discovered the reason why most cloth diapering mothers believe in delaying introduction of solids as long as humanly possible and then another week Personally, I'd just get some flushable paper liners and soak any remaining debris out :

Applecore, just cos you're great.

[eilonwy]

Those paper liners are great, if you remember to use them. I personally found them to be more of a PITA. I agree with Helen, though, it's one more reason to delay solids. BeanBean=6 months, BooBah = 6 months, Bella = 9 months (she was about a month early, so that pushed her back to seven, and she still wasn't ready... she wasn't sitting unassisted very comfortably, wasn't bringing things to her mouth, still had a tongue thrust, etc). Bear is scheduled to revisit the PGE at six months; He's on Neocate exclusively until then. It'll probably depend on how his stools are, and other things. I'm looking forward to him sitting up better, because it will probably help a lot with his reflux.