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Your or your DP's childhood views of circ vs. intact

post #1 of 44
Thread Starter 
I'm curious. I'm so far removed that I barely remember what my perception of circumcised vs intact meant other than some story of a prince that "needed" to be circ'd to help him father children (someone got him drunk and they circ'd him and the justification they gave the prince was that "he'll only be a bit shorter is all") ANYWAY. That's not he interesting part.

I asked DH. He said he knew ONE guy who was intact as a child. They called his penis a "sandworm" and he said that he assumed that he was too poor to be circ'd as a child and that he would have it done eventually.

What was your and/or your DP's experience of it as a child?
post #2 of 44
The first time I ever saw an intact penis was when I was about 12, and the toddler son of one of my Dad's Chinese graduate students was for some reason running around naked at our house (maybe a diaper change?). I remember thinking that something was terribly wrong with his penis (my brothers were circumcised). I didn't talk to my parents about it. I can't remember if/when I found out the facts about circumcision as a child. But by the time I was in nursing school in my late 20s I knew circumcision was wrong.

post #3 of 44
One guy in my entire high school wasn't circumcised. Everyone knew it and he was tormented mercilessly all through high school because of it.
post #4 of 44
As a child I didn't have a view on it. We only had 1 boy in my extended family and I don't remember ever seeing his penis. It never came up.
post #5 of 44
The first 2 out of the 3 guys I have been with were not circed. The first one was dirty about it, so I always had a bad perception about it, and then before I even knew my 2nd sexual partner wasn't circed I made a very rude comment about how I hoped he was circed.

I can definitely see the difference in sexual gratification with my husband and my 2 previous partners. With my 2nd oral sex was so much easier for me, and so much more pleasurable for him. My DH doesn't even care for oral, and they only thing that satisfies is intercourse.

I wish I wouldn't have been so ignorant.
post #6 of 44
One of my friends in college slept with a guy who was intact and she mentioned that he was. But that was it - no teasing or digust - he actually had NO trouble with ladies...so it must not have been too big of a deal...even in central KS.

My husband didn't even know what a normal penis looked like until we were pregnant and I brought up circumcision. At first he thought it was disgusting, but it took about 5 minutes of discussion and he immediately changed his mind. I wish all men responded that way to their wives bringing up the idea of not circumcising their sons.
post #7 of 44
When I was in elementary school, the teachers would take the entire class to the restrooms at once several times a day. Being typical boys, of course we checked each other out. After a while I noticed that all the caucasian guys in my class had penises that looked basically like mine, but all the African-American guys in my class had sheaths of skin that covered their glans. I assumed this was a natural difference like the color of our skin or the texture of our hair, and as such I didn't give it much thought at the time.
post #8 of 44
Originally Posted by LaLaLaLa View Post
One guy in my entire high school wasn't circumcised. Everyone knew it and he was tormented mercilessly all through high school because of it.
Thats seems so strange.

My twin brother is uncut, so I always knew penises could be that way. At first I thought penises just looked different, then by the time I was 11 I realized something was up, and since I had only seen guys my age intact, I assumed that naturally all males penises looked intact in childhood, and that when a guy went through puberty, the penis budded open like a flower. But I thought mine looked different because I thought I had had some kind of mystery surgery. And I was partly right. lol
post #9 of 44
I had only a vague idea what circ was, until my intact DH explained it to me!! We were TTC, and he said "if we have a boy, we're not having him circ'" Well okay hon....but what exactly IS it?
I had NO idea, I'm am so glad DH was well informed and both of our boys were spared!
It wasn't something anyone talked about in our house. I thought only jewish people did it, not realizing that most of the guys I'd been with were. I knewe DH looked different, but in my experience, they're all a little different!!
post #10 of 44
I didn't know about uncirc'ed men til the birth of my little brother. My mom declared that he'd be uncirced and my dad was fine with it. I distinctly remember the nurses collecting boys on the maternity ward, my mom saying no, her going on and then the unforgettable sound of a baby boy being circ'ed. (They had forgotten to turn off the speakers to that part of the nursery --back when they were still collecting babies; my mom opted to keep baby bro in her room, a shocking "new" thing.) I think I ventured near the area it was happening, but didn't watch. The sound of it was enough.

Unfortunately, dh is pro-circ. I was anti and mentioned how I wanted an intact son. He came up with excuses and stories of "guys he knew." In the end, despite giving him options and chances, he never followed through with making an appointment. I think in his heart he knows it's not right though he's still not comfortable saying so. In the end, our son, now 3 yo, is intact.
post #11 of 44
My imigrant father and hippy mother presented it as a bizar thing people did, b/c they were too uptight to deal with the natural human body.
post #12 of 44
Honestly I didn't really know much about it at all. Even when I knew what circ was, I always assumed it was done for religious reasons only. Maybe that comes from growing up in a European family. During my teen years and college days I never even once heard a negative story about intactness.

DH on the other had learned (I'm not sure where) that circ had to be done for cleanliness. He actually thought that the idea of not circing was a little strange.
post #13 of 44
I never knew what being intact was. I thought perhaps it had something to do with being jewish (LMAO, I know). I didn't know that people chose not to circ, I thought it was just something that everyone did. That's why I circ'd my first...at the time it was like "well why wouldn't I?" Besides that I remember my best friend in college talking about dating a guy and I swear she told me he was intact and went on and on about how nasty it was and I didn't want my son's girlfriends to think he was nasty. I brought it up to my friend last year and she had no idea what I was talking about and said that her husband is intact and she couldn't believe that I actually circ'd ds! Ugh, I just wish someone had said something to me but growing up in the midwest it was definitely "odd" to be intact.
post #14 of 44
I had never seen a circed one until I met my husband. Yes, at 23 years old. Still didn't really understand what it was until I got pregnant and came across the circ discussions on American message boards on the internet. I said to dh "Would you want your son circed just because you were?" He looked at me like I was an alien.

People here in the UK generally know very little about circ except the vague belief that it is something Jewish people do. Otherwise it is so far off our radar we don't think about it unless we come across it for some reason.
post #15 of 44
Mind numbing shock is the best way to describe me finding out about circ, everyone I know is intact and always has been. I found out as an adult, as Claire said, it was something that Jews did, and was so far off the radar I never thought about it, then I met and fell in love with an American.

People do that legally to babies? OMG they did that to you?

post #16 of 44
My Hubby says he honestly doesn't remember seeing or talking about anyone's uncirced penis as a child. I remember hearing about one guy in highschool. His exgirlfriend told everyone he had a deformed penis. He wasn't circed.
post #17 of 44
I don't really know how I was ever "told" about circ in childhood, but I remember knowing that it was something baby boys have done to take "a little skin" off their penis because otherwise they would be "gross" and have problems. It was just ingrained in me as the "truth" or the "norm". I remember in high school learning that one of my best friends was intact. He was the only one that ever came right out and said it. He had gastroschesis as a baby and had to have surgery as a newborn and he said his mother just didn't see any reason to circ him (Smart lady!!) I don't remember anyone ever picking on him or teasing him. He was confident and had a lot of girlfriends! I never saw his penis, and I never thought he was gross or weird because he was intact, but at the time I still thought it must be better and I'm sure I would have circ'd my kids...until I saw one in nursing school that horrified me and led me to research it once I was pregnant with my first DS.
post #18 of 44
When I was a teenager and kinda sex-crazed (lol) we used to talk about sexual stuff almost every day at lunch. The circ thing came up, and I think I mentioned something about how gross it was to be intact, how I'd never want to be with someone who was intact. UGH. I am ashamed of that, but I didn't know any better. The guy I was interested in at the time (and kinda starting to fool around with) said that he wasn't circ-d. I looked at him like he was a leper and confessed to my friends that I didn't think I could be with him sexually because of that. We asked him why he wasn't and he said "I'm not Jewish, so I don't think I am."

He went home and asked his mother (which I'm sure was an awkward conversation) -- turned out he was circ-d! He just didn't know. I breathed a sigh of relief then, but we had many problems later when he had basically no sensitivity. It really messed with my self-esteem, for years.

A good friend of ours at the time was intact -- he had been born in Germany so we assumed it was just something those "crazy Europeans" did. He made no apologies and was quite popular with the ladies.

I really wish I wouldn't have been so ignorant then. Once I went to college and learned more about human rights, bodily integrity, and became more of a rampant feminist , I wised up and realized it was something that I would NEVER do. My parents still think it's ridiculous that I could make such a decision, since I "don't have a penis, and my husband will want it to look like his", and express way more dismay when I say if my future partner is un-sway-able on the issue, it's a deal breaker. But I don't care. Even though I don't have children yet, I work with infants and can't imagine doing it to them, especially when there's no reason to.

I also later have learned that those "crazy Europeans" are pretty much right about EVERYTHING. When in doubt, I do as they do!
post #19 of 44
As a young child, i had no idea what circ was. I can remember being in highschool, and ppl talking/making jokes about it, but i never bought into the intact=gross theory. It just didn't make sense to me that a normal part shouldnt be there. ONe day i was sitting with a bunch of friends, and it came up that my now dh wasn't circed, and all the other guys started in with "What?!, that's sooo wrong " ladiladi
I told them all i didn't see anything wrong with that (maybe thats why dh always loved me soo much
He's never had a problem with the ladies either
He can remember as a kid playing at a friends house, and the boys making fun of the little neighbor boy who was running around naked, saying he had an elephant trunk. Thats when he realized that he was different, b/c he had a trunk too
IN any case, i've been with intact and circed men, and let me say, i am soo happy that dh is intact.
post #20 of 44
i didn't know what it was as a child, but as soon as i learned what it was, probably junior high age maybe, i thought circ was disgusting and i had no problem telling girls that when they were going on about intact being ugly. my DP is intact, thank goodness, and he finds the whole idea repulsive. both of my little brothers are circed and my mom really really regrets it.
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