Could we talk about Watch your Language?

[Can Dance]

I am curious about this quote mostly:
"And contrary to popular belief, telling them that formula is inferior and they're feeding their babies second best isn't going to do it. I can't stand that "watch your language" essay because it misses the simple fact that you can't bully a woman into breastfeeding, and why would we want to?"

This is from page 4 of the "formula by prescription?" thread down the way, not sure how to quote it into a different thread. sorry.

I have never heard this POV before, critiquing the Watch your Language essay, which I thought was a really thought provoking piece.

Does anyone else have anything else they object to in this essay and why?

I am really just most curious, I have no firm stance about this essay being the be all end all or something. just trying to hash it out.

Here is the link in case someone didn't read it:
http://www.motherchronicle.com/watchyourlanguage

[RoadWorkAhead]

I think that article, and the thought behind it, are more of a detriment to the breastfeeding success rates of the world, than all the VBreastfeeding is Best campaigns in the world.

I don't use them, refuse to use those arguments, and find them a big huge turn off. The only people who like to say/hear these things are those who look down their noses at bottle/formula feeding moms. And frankly, I don't like to judge like that. You never know why. SO yep, some parents may be making an inferior choice for their child, but saying so just sounds judgmental and snarky. It will not convert people to BFing if we use the most abrasive and harsh terms to make them feel bad. And the thought that it will just doesn't make sense in my opinion.

Now the cold hard realities of formula feeding as a PITA might help as a start, but being all negative and judgmental, nope. Because when I'm stressed about whether I have enough formula/bottles/water/tubing/pump charge, etc. for DD for a trip out and about, I realize how much easier (if ya know, kinda deadly for her!!) breastfeeding really was. Seriously. I may have spent more the BF than FF, but to be truthful, formula feeding is a big old PITB on soo many levels you don't even realize....That reality might make some one chooose to try BFing and succeed. Telling her anything less is inferior is just going to make someone stop speaking to you.

[zinemama]

Well, as someone who did primarily ff my first baby, I've never had an issue with that essay.

I don't find it snarky or negative or judgemental at all. It's not addressed so much to nursing mothers or ff mothers themselves as it is a general argument about the way formula and breastmilk are discussed in this culture. I think she makes excellent points about the way formula is discussed compared to other public health matters. I think it's thought provoking and well written. It's more about the semantics than about judging individul women.

[RoadWorkAhead]

Which is why I will once again argue that changing how we as a culture speak about formula feeding to make it more judgment oriented (And thats exactly what it is) is not going to cause more women to breastfeed. NOw if we could change the views about never leaving babies who breastfeed, the "ease" of formula feeding, etc. we might get somewhere. But if my Dr. said FF was inferior, it wouldn't change jack. (Well, with me it didn't matter but ya know what I mean). And I've never formula fed a child. I medically feed my daughter a powdered amnio acid food that is considered and labelled as such (A medical food). Its the equivalent though. I hear so much more often not about whether or not its best/normal/healthier, etc. but that its harder. ANd it is...for about 6-8 weeks until you and baby regulate to each other. But past that? This stuff is a PITB to make, and while I go to a few harder lengths (tube feeds, etc.), some of the basics are the same. WHen I was BFIng DD, I would run to my g-mas an hour away - NOw, not unle4ss I have a back up can of formula, enough water (we use reverse osmosis bottled water), a mixing implement, and at least one method to feed (bottle or tube supplies). Not to metion the other things I now must carry because of the heightened ability to overfeed my 16 month old like spare clothes, etc. Now that reality makes you stop and think. Its not negative per se, but its the real low down from a real mom, not some great sounding information that has nothing to do with real life or the realities of the bf'ing vs. ff'ing issues. People don't not BF because they think its just as good for the most part. Sit in any wic office and 90% of moms will say they tried, and they knew it was better for baby (because formula truly and reallly is adequate....Good no, desirable first chioce, no but adequate to meet basic nutritional needs, yes) but that it was too hard, their milk iddn't come in, they had no support, etc. Its not a lack of knowledge that their are benefits to baby from BFing that can nbever be replicated by formula. Its so much more complicated than that, and to think that portraying formula in a negative light is some how going to cause any great change just doesn't make real sense to me. I think there are a lot of ways to normalize breastfeeding that don't concentrate on the negatives of the opposition (FF). It's kinda like a political slur campaign...just turns most people off rather than accomplishing the intended goal. Or maybe I'm the only one that hates slur campaigns

[imagine21]

I do not have a problem with the essay. All too often we are subjected to language 'framing" that is partially responsible for mass violence and hatred, and in that context we are quick to condemn, yet when it is used in a more subtle manner, to the effect of normalizing something that is generally a societal negative we view it a "judging women?" Society accepting and supporting bf by not making it so difficult is the goal. From there it just becomes a self fulfilling prophesy.

[nataliebassoon]

Wow, I found that essay very thought-provoking. I especially liked the point that while it is the parent's decision to make, it's the HCP's responsibility to ensure that they make a well-informed decision, not to just ignore the fact that they are making a decision which will be detrimental to baby and mother! I work at a maternity retailer and we assume women are going to nurse unless they tell us otherwise- I'll often bring them a sleep bra in the fitting room and tell them how wonderful they are for nursing!

[MaryJaneLouise]

I think the article is a good one, but incomplete. It challenges us to look on bfing as normal, and everything else as a substitute. It was published in a journal for health care professionals (Journal of Human Lactation) with HCPs (IBCLCs, RNs, MD, etc.) as its intended audience.

I also believe that Kierdan's mom has a good point in framing the issue with NON health care providers (families of little ones). We need to work, as a society, so that bfing truly IS easier than FFing. This includes adequate health care assistance (such as IBCLCs, L&D and post partume nurses who don't sabotage the bf relationship in the hospital), social support ("baby moon" for moms of newborns), NIP laws (so families don't feel tied down by other people's breast hang-ups), lengthening PAID maternity leave (to allow establishment of a good bfing relationship before return to work), pumping time laws at work, etc. Cause if it ain't easy, people aren't gonna do it .

[STJinNoVa]

My take on that article - which sends my blood pressure soaring every time I read it (I really should stop) - is that it is written for a particular audience. It's preaching to the choir.

One of my jobs as mommy is to feed my baby. If I feed my baby formula, which is described in the article as "deficient, incomplete, and inferior", then I am doing one of my major roles in a deficient, incomplete, and inferior way, which is one step away from being a deficient, incomplete, and inferior mommy.

And biological fact is one thing, but the experience of mothering quite another, and for me personally, I'd rather bite my own tongue off than make another mama think she's doing a sub-par, second-rate job as a mama. If I can help her see breastfeeding, the biological norm, AS the biological norm and as desirable, then rock on. But there are enough cultural and social forces that can undermine us as mommies, and I;m not willing to use breastfeeding or not breastfeeding as yet another whacking stick in the mommy wars.

Long story short, it's sanctimony at its finest, as far as I'm concerned. We breastfeeders can pat ourselves on the back for doing the perfect, normal, adequate thing for our babies and feel so comfortable with that that we don't remember that these are mommies with tender hearts we're talking about. This doesn't nurture tender mommy hearts.

It's not a resource I'd be likely to use while discussing feeding babies with my pregnant friends.

[miche28]

Originally Posted by STJinNoVa

It's not a resource I'd be likely to use while discussing feeding babies with my pregnant friends.

Good because that's not the audience this is intended for. I speak to a lot of moms (BF and not, some by choice, some not) and the language they use about feeding their babies is often drawn from the language their HCP are using - it reflects very clearly the attitudes of those HCP.

And yes it does make a difference - if formula is good enough, then it's okay to leave to wean your 5 month old to go to Vegas for the weekend. Now, if mom knows that formula is incomplete, deficient and inferior and still goes, that's her choice, we don't always make the optimal decision. But, if no one has ever had the courage to tell her that, then it's not her choice - and the HCP are complicit in the damage done to that mother and child.

My view is that this has zero to do with patting ourselves on the back and everything to do with HCP being honest in the face of massive commerical interests.

[STJinNoVa]

if formula is good enough, then it's okay to leave to wean your 5 month old to go to Vegas for the weekend

Straw man. I think that trivializes and cheapens the decisions that a lot of moms make.

If formula is good enough, then it's okay for a mom who is physically and emotionally overwhelmed by breastfeeding to wean her child so she can function.

If formula is good enough, then it's okay for a mom who has never been able to pump an adequate amount to feed her child formula when she has to return to work.

If formula is good enough, then it's okay for a mom who had an unplanned c-section and a very painful recovery to feed her child formula when she doesn't manage to establish a breastfeeding relationship with her child AND recover from major abdominal surgery at the same time.

Those are the moms who don't need to hear phrases like "deficient, incomplete, and inferior".

[miche28]

Well, not really - the moms who formula feed because it's the best decision for their family (for whatever reason) are, in my experience, pretty well informed about the risks of formula and decide that it's the better option nonetheless. Those aren't the moms I'm worried about - and there are a lot more of those than there are of the above.

It's the moms who falsely believe (because no one told them any different and their ped has formula ads in the waiting room and the nurse hands out "free" samples) that going away for the weekend without baby or giving baby a bottles of formula at night is not harmful. It is harmful and we need to be honest about that.

Now, before we go to long down the road of this discussion, I should clarify that I believe that not breastfeeding harms most babies and mothers, but formula-feeding is obviously preferable to disability or starvation.

[velcromom]

Originally Posted by miche28

if mom knows that formula is incomplete, deficient and inferior and still goes, that's her choice, we don't always make the optimal decision. But, if no one has ever had the courage to tell her that, then it's not her choice - and the HCP are complicit in the damage done to that mother and child.

My view is that this has zero to do with patting ourselves on the back and everything to do with HCP being honest in the face of massive commerical interests.

I agree with this. Moms deserve to be given complete and honest information and if the primary source of information is skewed by the formula industry, then they aren't able to make informed health care decisions.

I think the fact that the article wasn't meant for an audience of new mothers definitely needs to be taken into consideration in any critique of the article.

It is asking support personell to communicate bf as the norm when they work with women in the process of making feeding (i.e. health care) decisions. That is not the same as sanctimoniously announcing to mothers who are past that point and ffing, that they are giving their children inferior food.

If it wasn't a health care decision, I'd be all over the choice word, but it's so much bigger than choice. The back story is huge. A woman's thoughts/beliefs/values about feeding, in this culture anyway, are being affected by an outside entity that is geared toward getting her to ff. If we aren't truthful about feeding decisions in our communication with women who are in need of complete info, we are allowing the misinformation to stand unchallenged.

[MonkeysRUs]

I agree with the previous posters that you have to remember that the article was written for lactation professionals. Even with that in mind, there is nothing in the article that suggests that we should be trying to make mothers feel guilty. The article is all about trying to ensure that mothers are able to make informed decisions about feeding their children.

Kierdan'sMom, you say that you don't want to judge people, and yet your statement of "The only people who like to say/hear these things are those who look down their noses at bottle/formula feeding moms." is very judgmental. Diane Wiessinger (the author of the article) is a well respected IBCLC, and in her articles, she comes across as a very loving woman who is dedicated to helping moms make informed decisions about feeding their children, and supporting moms in whatever decision they make (even if that decision is to give formula). You can see her articles at her website:

http://www.normalfed.com/index.html

The "Watch Your Language" article is about presenting breastfeeding as the biological norm that it is. Formula is deficient and inferior. No one is saying that to make mothers who formula feed feel guilty, it's just a fact. Formula has it's place, but unfortunately, society as a whole tends to have the attitude (thanks to very effective and pervasive formula marketing) that formula is just as good as breastmilk. Changing the way we talk about breastfeeding, and re-framing it as the biological norm is just one part of helping to change society's perception. Obviously a lot of other things need to be done as well, but that wasn't the focus of the article.

I breastfed my son (my first child) for 5 months, and then switched to formula when we started having severe problems with biting (I've since discovered that he's tongue-tied). Had I truly known the health consequences of discontinuing breastfeeding, I never would have. I'm well educated, and I'm an RN with a background in obstetrics, and I still didn't truly understand the risks of formula feeding because no one was giving me the information! I've learned an awful lot since then out of personal interest, and I'm amazed at how little I knew when I had my son. My dd is 3 and still nursing, and although I regret switching to formula with my son, I don't feel guilty. I know that I made the best decision I could with the knowledge and support I had at the time, which is something that Diane talks about in her article. Despite me being well educated and thinking that I was well informed when I had my baby, I wasn't getting the right information from my doctor (or any of the mainstream books I was reading at the time!).

In order for mothers to make a truly informed decision, they have to be given evidence based information that hasn't been sugar-coated to avoid making someone feel "guilty". Unfortunately, most of the information about infant feeding that is readily available to mothers is written by, or influenced by, formula manufacturers. And we all know how unbiased that information is!

[evlu]

Originally Posted by MonkeysRUs

In order for mothers to make a truly informed decision, they have to be given evidence based information that hasn't been sugar-coated to avoid making someone feel "guilty". Unfortunately, most of the information about infant feeding that is readily available to mothers is written by, or influenced by, formula manufacturers. And we all know how unbiased that information is!

[Unoppressed MAMA Q]

I appreciate this article greatly. I don't do sugar-coating. Formula IS inferior. If someone can't handle that information, it's because of guilt, which is a yucky emotion that has to be resolved in life sometimes.

[rmzbm]

Originally Posted by MonkeysRUs

In order for mothers to make a truly informed decision, they have to be given evidence based information that hasn't been sugar-coated to avoid making someone feel "guilty". Unfortunately, most of the information about infant feeding that is readily available to mothers is written by, or influenced by, formula manufacturers. And we all know how unbiased that information is!

Originally Posted by Unoppressed MAMA Q

I appreciate this article greatly. I don't do sugar-coating. Formula IS inferior. If someone can't handle that information, it's because of guilt, which is a yucky emotion that has to be resolved in life sometimes.

:

[sahmama_12]

Originally Posted by Unoppressed MAMA Q

I appreciate this article greatly. I don't do sugar-coating. Formula IS inferior. If someone can't handle that information, it's because of guilt, which is a yucky emotion that has to be resolved in life sometimes.

: I think this "guilt" thing gets alot of press but really this is one of the very very few health issue that hcp have trouble making ppl feel guilty about. If a pregnant woman is smoking or starving herself to keep her weight down the docs don't seem to have any trouble laying on the guilt.

Even if you come at it from a parenting choice point of view it still seems very lonely in the "we don't wanna cause guilt" boat. My doc has put a lot of guilt on me for my choices to co-sleep and to delay vax. He didn't hesitate to inform me that thru these choices I am putting my child at risk. Why is formula so different??

[siobhang]

I am currently reading Michael Pollan's In Defense of Food. In it he argues that the US thinks about food in very weird ways - not about food, but about individual elements within food (vitamin B, protein, antioxidents, etc), thinking that breaking it down into consitutent elements equals the equivalent in whole foods.

But it doesn't, and formula is the best example of how nutrition scientists think they have it all figured out, only to discover another element missing.

Fundamentally, creating an artificial version with all the "bits" is not equivalent to the original. It is like thinking that a coke with vitamins added is equivalent to an apple.

THIS FACT is what most Americans do not understand about formula when we take formula as the norm, and breastmilk as "better". You cannot analyze breastmilk, break it down into its constiutent elements, reformulate it and then come up with an equivalent. The variables are too great, there is too much we do not understand about nutrition and infant development, and the entire interaction (lips on nipple, baby held skin to skin) also has as much to do with breastfeeding as the ingredients in breastmilk.

Now, can formula be lifesaving/sanity saving? Of course. But life saving is not the equivalent of preferred or expected.

For example, in communities with low vitamin A rates due to malnutrition, vitamin A micronutrient supplementation saves lives - this has been proven. However, a 6 month supplementation with the highly toxic Vitamin A is not equivalent to a diet rich in naturally occuring vitamin A foods - not in the least because there are other vitamins and micronutrients in those foods which are also beneficial. So while vitamin A supplementation is a great emergency response, improving the nutritional quality of a communities food sources to include vitamin A rich foods is MUCH MUCH better.

We are worried about making moms feel guilty. And I agree - the moms most likely to feel guilt about not breastfeeding are the ones who already know the facts about breastfeeding vs formula. So making them feel bad is at best stupid, and at worst immoral.

Instead, I think we need to think in terms of making mothers ANGRY. Angry that they have been lied to and manipulated and used - for someone else's profit. The very people they are meant to trust - doctors and nurses and other health care professionals - have been far too lax with the formula manufacturers, covering up or misrepresenting the truth.

And by watching our language, we can hopefully force them to speak the truth.

[miss_sonja]

It's the old "you catch more flies with honey than vinegar". Until we create a world where women can nurse their babies and still earn a living, a world where women are respected for who we are and the magic of how our bodies can provide for our little ones, a world where formula is a great resource for those who CAN'T nurse (who've had cancer, or low supply or need certain meds), where formula companies are small, and few and don't have deals with the government...well, we'll have to just take it step by slow step.

It's the advent of agriculture 10,000 years ago that really started the change from nursing a babe for around 4 years to nursing for 6 months or a year then weaning to pabulum to go back to the fields. Read Against the Grain by Richard Manning to get really riled up...

[readytobedone]

i've always thought this argument is dead on.

i agree with others who've said formula feeding is deficient and inferior, and it's not (should not be) the norm.

i've said before, and will say again, this to me is much the same as the view that cesarean birth is a less desirable way to give birth. it IS a less desirable way, in every sense, to give birth. as for me? i had a cesarean birth. in my case, it was pretty necessary. it was probably life-saving. but that doesn't change the fact that it is not the normal way to give birth. and it sure doesn't change the fact that MOST of the time, it is not used as a last resort and necessity, but as a normal course of action--just like formula feeding is.

and in both cases, that "norming" of the inferior option is unfortunate. and in both cases, it is up to the medical profession to support the biological norm and present the inferior option as something only to be used when the norm fails, for whatever reason.