How would you respond?

[mrsdocmartin]

A colleague of mine, when he heard DS was still nursing, said "Wow, you're better than we were, my wife only lasted like a week with that. We just couldn't tell how much he was getting". I wasn't sure how to respond to that. So, I just said, "Oh, that's too bad, I am really sorry that you and your wife didn't get the support you needed to put your minds at ease." Now I wish I'd done more educating. What would you have said?

[LittlePeanut]

Unfortunately breasts do not come with measurement guages but you can tell if the baby is getting enough simply by watching their diapers (enough wet ones). If they are happy, healthy and growing, all is good.

LP

[littlecityfarmer]

I think your response was great! You could also have mentioned that even though you don't have a way to measure intake directly, you can take before-after weights, or occasional weigh-ins to confirm that baby is growing... And, what goes in, must come out-- adequate urine and stooling shows adequate intake...

[go0ber]

thats a wonderful response! when i talked to my grandpa's wife on the phone after ds was born she said "i am so happy that you are breastfeeding!!!!!! when i had dd my doctor wanted me to breastfeed (note: lol oh how times change!) and i breastfed her for about 3 months but i was concerned she wasnt getting enough milk." my reply was something dumb like, "oh you can tell by the diapers." she just laughed because she thought i was kidding and we talked about something else. so yeah your reply was definitely better than mine.

[prothyraia]

That's the reason that I wasn't breastfed as an infant. : /

When I told my parents that I'd be nursing my son, their immediate response was "But...how will you know how much he's eating/if he's eating enough?"
And then I just explained about diaper output and yadda yadda, and they got it.

And then my dad took 10 minutes to google breastfeeding, and decided it was a great idea and that OF COURSE I should do that.

[julie128]

Your response was a perfect one for many such comments. I'm going to add it to my bag of tricks.

[luv]

Your response was very good. the only thing I might have added would be
"If you're ever interested I'd be glad to share what' I've learned."

-luv

[ColoradoMama]

I think you were pretty quick on your feet. That was a good response.

[rmzbm]

I think your response was just fine!

[sapphire_chan]

Your response was fine. If they want to learn more he can come to you with "what did you mean by more support?" You've made it clear that there are resources for when people have that 'problem'. Maybe if they have another child he'll talk to you before the baby's born and you can pass off more information.

[Bea]

I think your response was great...supportive and non judgmental.

I'd have responded about diaper output, weight gain and contentment of the baby (although the contentment issue is misleading due to FF babies appearing contented for longer periods, especially in the first months... can you say permanent BF'ing? )

I'd also have mentioned that humans are the only mammals that not only ever see their breast milk, but also worry about it's effectiveness in nourishing their young and regulate its provision. You never see an antelope on the African veld, checking her watch to see if the fawn can have some boob and denying it on the premise that it just fed 40 minutes ago

I'd have commiserated that the main reasons for so many BF 'failures' is dreadful advice and support and sympathise with their experience.

[apelilae]

I think your response was fine.

I've heard that too and I said "I'm very sorry it didn't work out for you. If you guys have another one and would like to BF, I'm happy to help you. I have some great info I love to share with new moms and dads."

[readytobedone]

Originally Posted by mrsdocmartin

A colleague of mine, when he heard DS was still nursing, said "Wow, you're better than we were, my wife only lasted like a week with that. We just couldn't tell how much he was getting". I wasn't sure how to respond to that. So, I just said, "Oh, that's too bad, I am really sorry that you and your wife didn't get the support you needed to put your minds at ease." Now I wish I'd done more educating. What would you have said?

i think this is the perfect response, honestly. it's kind in placing the blame on lack of external support--but it definitely implies that, with the right support, she should have been able to nurse her LO.

[goodheartedmama]

I think you did great! You said enough without trying to bring up things that are really moot points now anyway. Hopefully if they have another in the future, you'll be able to share more with them

[dflanag2]

I like your response so much, I am rereading it and trying to commit it to memory so that I will say something equally empathic and educational in a similar situation, instead of being tongue-tied.

[luckysam]

I think it was a wonderful response. I agree with pp, that more would have been awkward without prompting. Your response was non-judgmental and open, yet leading enough so that he knows he can ask you for more info if they think about trying it again with any future children. Well done, mama!