anyone decide not to have their 2-3 year old present for the birth? - Page 3

[ryansma]

My ds will be almost 30 months when our second little guy is born. I plan on having him come in immediately after. I think it would be too much for him. He is learning about feelings and starting to recognize that other people's feelings are important too. He is VERY concerned right now about our feelings lately and will ask , "Mommy are you happy?" It all depends on what you think your child can handle. I saw my first birth (a cousin's home birth) when I was 4. I don't remember it but I have no doubt that it shaped my views about birth. But obviously my mom knew I could handle it. Maybe because it wasn't my mom in labor it was my my aunt. I don't know. But I do know it would not be a good experience for ds to see me doing the hard work of labor. I am loud and expressive and don't want to feel like I have to hold back.

[bhawkins]

I wasn't sure whether or not I wanted DS (29mths at the time) at DD's birth. When the time came, I figured it might work out since contractions started at midnight. However, us being up and about woke him up and he was needy and cranky. I called my Mom, who lives nearby, and she took DS home with her during the labor/birth. He came home within 30 min of her birth and was thrilled to meet her. I would do it that way again, for sure. I don't feel as though he or I missed out on a thing.

[DavinaT]

Hospital birth so not an issue but I know that had I had a H/B seing me in pain would have completely FREAKED her out and colorued her views of childbirth for life (as it did for me, at her age) bu every child is different anfd that needs to be respected.

[covertlycrunchy]

I have no clue what we will be doing. Most of the reasons given here for not wanting the little one there are "I'm loud in labor and don't want my kid to see me." But since I had a c/s the first time w/o really experiencing labor at all I really don't know how I'll handle the labor. I guess we'll just take it as it comes?? I've gotten her to watch youtube vids of homebirths and she was ok with it "Babies come out of mommies". was all she'd say. So I'll make sure to have a sitter lined up and see how it goes.

[momto4kids]

Originally Posted by caedmyn

I'd like my DD will be just short of 3 to be there at the birth of her sibling if she wants to be, but there are some logistics and other issues so I don't know if in the end we'll plan to have her there or not. I kind of felt like it might help them bond if she was able to see the birth...but anyhow, for those who choose not to have an older toddler present for a sibling's birth, how did it work out? Would you make the same choice again, and did you feel that it affected their bonding at all?

For HB 1 we had 2 out of the 3 kids there....my middle child slept. My DD was 3 at the time and she was fine ~ although she did want to climb into the tub w. me ....we had my mom & lil' sister there to help w/ the kids too.

For HB #2 we had the 3 oldest kids around ~ my youngest was only 20 mos at the time so we left her sleeping since he was born at close to midnight.

Was there a difference in bonding ~ no......After DS was born the next morning amanda crawled into my bed and gave him a huge hug & kiss. She's loved him ever since w/o any jealousy..... She was very invloved in the prenatal appts though ~ always got to help Christy out w/ by belly.....so even though she did not see him born she had bonded w/ him.

Quite honestly my DD was and still is very clingy to me so it would have been a hard labor with her around IMO......

Dana

[Septagram]

I haven't read the thread, but during labor and pushing I didn't want DH or DS anywhere near me. They came into the room when the baby was being born and then my Mom took DS1 for the rest of the evening while DH and I got to know DS2.