The word advocate means;
From Dictionary.com
advocate
–verb (used with object)
1.to speak or write in favor of; support or urge by argument; recommend publicly: He advocated higher salaries for teachers.
–noun
2.a person who speaks or writes in support or defense of a person, cause, etc. (usually fol. by of): an advocate of peace.
3.a person who pleads for or in behalf of another; intercessor.
4.a person who pleads the cause of another in a court of law.
intercessor
–noun
a person who intercedes.
Advocate does NOT mean, "to empower, to support (just support), to encourage, to remind, or to hold the space for".
Now, I am not making judgements about doulas here or doula certifying organizations, because I realize they are in a pickle, and if they did actually advocate, they would risk being barred from the delivery room altogether. I just want to discuss what the ramifications of calling yourself an advocate, yet clearly not advocating, are. And why exactly do doulas, and some doula certifying agencies, use a term that they do not really fulfill? Why confuse what your role is by using a term, and then redefining the term? Why not simply leave the term out of it?
If you say, "I'm an advocate for you" and then stand by and watch a birth go sour, powerless to do anything lest you lose your certification, what affect does this have on the mother? And if she comes back and says, "you didn't advocate for me", you will just say "no, I DID, it's just that, well, when we say advocate we don't mean advocate." Huh? Honestly, does this really fly in the doula world? How do you doulas reconcile this obvious conflict?
I think that representing oneself as an advocate, and then being unwilling to actually advocate, sets women up to arrive at their births unprepared to protect themselves. It also leads to feelings of anger and betrayal at the doula, as in, "why didn't she say something? why did she just stand there and watch this happen?" It also leads to the doula feeling traumatized, and being forced into a role where she has to witness clients being manipulated, coerced, or abused, yet she is powerless to do anything about it.
There is also the issue of a doula, who is not allowed to actually advocate, yet who has to try to convince clients that this alternate made-up definition of the term advocate is really what advocate means despite what your dictionary may say, has to then sugar coat the birth to make for good birth memories for the clients. Doesn't this feel like jumping through many convoluted hoops for the doula? So, if a birth goes sour, and a doula is forced to simply stand by and watch, she then must convince her clients that advocate doesn't really mean advocate, and that the birth was actually a great experience, despite the trauma the woman herself may actually be feeling. And some certifying agencies actually discourage contact between clients and doulas after the 1 or 2 postpartum visits, so when the woman's true feelings of the birth do come to the surface, the doula, who "held the space", who "protected the memory" is generally long gone out of that woman's life, which makes true processing impossible.
How does this benefit women in the long run? The hospitals can just keep getting worse and worse, and doula's can just keep buffering and reframing it to the clients. But then will change ever occur?
Of course, my above comments are only applicable in cases were an "advocate" is needed. In wonderful smooth hospital or home births, a doula can simply do what a doula does best and support and comfort the mother. I wish that is how all births went and then this wouldn't even be an issue. But the truth is, the hospital system is not a great place to give birth in, and doulas must encounter this issue quite often I would imagine.
I had a doula and I found her to be a big comfort, and to some extent an advocate, but she could only go so far and her main job was trying to reduce the stress on me that was being caused by the hospital staff. So, I am not anti-doula, I am simply wondering how they and others feel about these issues.
From Dictionary.com
advocate
–verb (used with object)
1.to speak or write in favor of; support or urge by argument; recommend publicly: He advocated higher salaries for teachers.
–noun
2.a person who speaks or writes in support or defense of a person, cause, etc. (usually fol. by of): an advocate of peace.
3.a person who pleads for or in behalf of another; intercessor.
4.a person who pleads the cause of another in a court of law.
intercessor
–noun
a person who intercedes.
Advocate does NOT mean, "to empower, to support (just support), to encourage, to remind, or to hold the space for".
Now, I am not making judgements about doulas here or doula certifying organizations, because I realize they are in a pickle, and if they did actually advocate, they would risk being barred from the delivery room altogether. I just want to discuss what the ramifications of calling yourself an advocate, yet clearly not advocating, are. And why exactly do doulas, and some doula certifying agencies, use a term that they do not really fulfill? Why confuse what your role is by using a term, and then redefining the term? Why not simply leave the term out of it?
If you say, "I'm an advocate for you" and then stand by and watch a birth go sour, powerless to do anything lest you lose your certification, what affect does this have on the mother? And if she comes back and says, "you didn't advocate for me", you will just say "no, I DID, it's just that, well, when we say advocate we don't mean advocate." Huh? Honestly, does this really fly in the doula world? How do you doulas reconcile this obvious conflict?
I think that representing oneself as an advocate, and then being unwilling to actually advocate, sets women up to arrive at their births unprepared to protect themselves. It also leads to feelings of anger and betrayal at the doula, as in, "why didn't she say something? why did she just stand there and watch this happen?" It also leads to the doula feeling traumatized, and being forced into a role where she has to witness clients being manipulated, coerced, or abused, yet she is powerless to do anything about it.
There is also the issue of a doula, who is not allowed to actually advocate, yet who has to try to convince clients that this alternate made-up definition of the term advocate is really what advocate means despite what your dictionary may say, has to then sugar coat the birth to make for good birth memories for the clients. Doesn't this feel like jumping through many convoluted hoops for the doula? So, if a birth goes sour, and a doula is forced to simply stand by and watch, she then must convince her clients that advocate doesn't really mean advocate, and that the birth was actually a great experience, despite the trauma the woman herself may actually be feeling. And some certifying agencies actually discourage contact between clients and doulas after the 1 or 2 postpartum visits, so when the woman's true feelings of the birth do come to the surface, the doula, who "held the space", who "protected the memory" is generally long gone out of that woman's life, which makes true processing impossible.
How does this benefit women in the long run? The hospitals can just keep getting worse and worse, and doula's can just keep buffering and reframing it to the clients. But then will change ever occur?
Of course, my above comments are only applicable in cases were an "advocate" is needed. In wonderful smooth hospital or home births, a doula can simply do what a doula does best and support and comfort the mother. I wish that is how all births went and then this wouldn't even be an issue. But the truth is, the hospital system is not a great place to give birth in, and doulas must encounter this issue quite often I would imagine.
I had a doula and I found her to be a big comfort, and to some extent an advocate, but she could only go so far and her main job was trying to reduce the stress on me that was being caused by the hospital staff. So, I am not anti-doula, I am simply wondering how they and others feel about these issues.
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