Originally Posted by sapphire_chan
If this is how you're interpreting that, you still aren't understanding the issue I have with women having to speak for themselves in labor. They have already expressed what they want. They should not have to deal with people trying to push things on them that they have already declined--vaginal exams, epidurals. They should not have to fight to get things they've already requested--changing positions, having silence or at least a minimum of talking.
This, to me, is not about decisions made during the birth, it is about protecting the woman from having to remake decisions that she has already made so that she can get on with the work of giving birth.
It's not about being 'fragile' it's about not having to deal with the irritation of oxytocin reducing, adrenalin increasing BS.
And I have changed to a provider who will respect my wishes in this 100%--ME.
This is a good point.
I just wanted to add, that women are usually extreemly happy directly after their birth, reguardless of how the birth whent. They are overjoyed to have their new baby, and are far from being able to process the birth. So this is what the doula sees. Most doulas have one follow up with the mom, and then are told to cut off ties with her. In the few weeks after the birth, the mom may still have not processed the birth. Or, she may be upset with sertain aspects of it, and feels like she can't talk about it or bring it up with her doula. So the assumption that women are speaking up for themselves in labor, is just that, an assumption. I will give an example of something that is completely common.
Doc comes into the room and sais to mom, "Your labor is stalling out, we would like to break your water."
Mom, "no, I don't want you to."
Doc, "okay, I will allow you to labor for one more hour, if you haven't progressed when I get back, we will have to break your water."
Mom is left in fear, and anxiety, and pressure to progress, so of course mom doesn't progress.
Doc comes back and starts vaginal exam without asking in the middle of a contraction. He sais, "well, looks like you haven't progressed I'm going to go ahead and just break your water here for you."
Mom is upset, but doesn't 'stop' it because she was told it has to be done. Meanwhile, the doula and other onlookers see this as her choice, since the doc originally complied with her, and then it was 'necessary' to do otherwise later. The rest of the labor goes beautifully, and all of moms wishes are met. Mom doesn't focus on this one thing until months later when she realizes how upset she is that her wishes weren't respected. Meanwhile, doula has seen 2 or 3 other clients by then, completely believing that mom was happy and content with her labor.
Just because women in labor 'appear' to be able to talk and give answers, I would be willing to bet that at least some of the time, those answers are scripted, knee jerk reactions to being bullied into doing something they didn't want to do in the first place.