Sept 04 mamas - summer thread - Page 3

[Yo Becca]

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=922062 Hopefully Stacy is babymooning!! Sending all good vibes her way!!

Eli's DDC is totally dead in the water, BTW. Once we moved to the toddler forum, it petered out. Just when he's making me bonkers and I need to vent!! (Have I mentioned he's a headbanger and a food thrower?)

Jen - while I'm sure it sucked to get pelted with mud and put an end to such a well-crafted amusement, it sounds like a very reasonable response from you, carried out appropriately, with understandable resistance from T, but ultimately a good resolution.

Danielle - Yep, I taught a kid who did the same thing, and I asked a wise and well-experienced teacher for advice (this little girl basically did everything she ever heard me tell anyone to not do, then laughed and smiled when i would talk to her about it, stare blankly and smile when i asked her questions about her behavior, etc. - it made her totally unaccountable for pretty obnoxious behavior, and made me NUTS).

My and my friend's advice is to focus some energy on "floor time" (basically you playing on the floor with him, side by side, and engaging him in discussion in which you ask him non-threatening questions interspersed with just regular play). then focus on "closing the circle" - teaching him how to respond, and not moving on until he does. Making sure there is a conclusion to discussions in which he participates.

So what this would look like is you engaging him in vanilla questions like "what shape is this block?" or "how do you think this story will end?" or whatever relates to what you are doing that will help him get into the Q/A flow. Then if a situation arises where he evades discussion, you persist. Be very calm, zen-like, hide any frustration - you don't want to make him stressed. But help him find the words, and keep asking him to say them. So if you are asking, "What happened to the walls?" and he won't answer, try asking a few different ways "Did you color the walls?" "How did this marker get on the walls" (or whatever - i'm assuming you aren't asking questions you already know the answer to). If he is smiling or not talking, say, "Can't you tell me X?" Then keep going, calmly, "I need to you to say the words. I need you to tell me X." You may have to tell him exactly what you want him to say, but keep asking him to. As in, telling him "you have no other choices until you speak to me about this." If he thinks it's funny, say "I don't think this is funny. Look at my face. My face is serious, because i want us to talk about this" - help him SEE the clues on your face that this is not a joke (still being very calm and non-threatening). He's either laughing/smiling b/c he doesn't get that this is serious, or as an attempt to dodge/evade an uncomfortable situation. So you want him to see that he can't evade, that it is serious, but show him that once he "walks the walk" it's okay, and you can both move on. SO when he *does* answer the question or respond in some way, Thank him for doing so, wrap up the conversation quickly (so he doesn't regret it) and then move on.

Ideally, pushing the issue in a non-threatening way will help him see how to carry his end of the discussion and see that it's not a scary thing he needs to avoid.

[midwestmeg]

Originally Posted by JenInMpls

oh, but Meg, it's so true. I could be vain and say that after I have the final word, there's really nothing left to say...

There are over 170 women in the Dec 08 DDC :

I learned all about the 'real' MDC world with Carl's DDC- they don't care!! Turns out Sept 04 moms are the only ones who understand how a conversation is supposed to work. I love us.:

WOW!! 170 women. Amazing. I really only come to MDC to catch up with you guys and look in the diapering or bwering forums. Sometimes I go over to the vax section, but I get SO frustrated with how quickly conversations go to statements like 'if u vax ur an ijut' or other blanket statements that aren't really discussion or thoughtful at all. KWIM?! I wish we did a little more support and research together versus 'oh really, is this what you think because *I* think....'

ETA: Congrats Stacy!! What a hero. I want a baby but the mere thought of pregnancy makes me queasy. So I must live through Stacy, Jen & Ashley... Can't wait for your kiddos.

Ashley; how is summer going?! I just read about the Nikiski Beach Access ban. Sure glad I'm done with HS out there... but I never would have made it through all four years out there without access to that beach for ahem, 'study breaks.'

[crazyeight]

thanks for the info becca. abstract really doesn't get through his head. not sure how to break into that. i've tried alot of different things with him and hes just a totally differently wired child.

ugh...i am feeling weird today and yesterday. i have these bursts of cleaning energy and i've been doing these spot cleans i haven't done in forever (hm...how long has THAT food been on the wall?) and now i feel like i have been run over by a truck. tired tired tired.

[hjohnson]

I hope life gets easier when David turns 4. We didn't go through the "terrible twos". We are going through the "terrible threes". It is temper tantrum city these days in this house. I have a 5.5 year that functions like a 6 year old (temper tantrum age) and David who has decided that temper tantrums are a good thing as well. I spend a lot of time saying "When you are ready to talk, let me know." I hope next year is better.

[midwestmeg]

Originally Posted by hjohnson

I hope next year is better.

These are truly the words of a mother with young children. I often feel like this also. I'll watch Carl throw a tantrum, Cecilia scream next to him and think 'well, they should grow out of this by next year.' The anguished cries don't even bother me anymore. And to think, I NEVER let Ceci cry until she was close to 2 years old. Thank goodness I realized I can't fix everything for her!!

[MommyofPunkiePie]

Hello Ladies! I've been reading along but not posting much because things have been pretty crazy.

Elizabeth is 75% terror and 25% angel. I think this conversation sums it up (as background, her betta fish died and instead of getting into heaven/hell, I told her the fish wanted to be a whale so his spirit left his betta body to become one).

E: Mommy, when I die I want to be a rooster.
Me: Really? A rooster? Why a rooster?
E: So I can wake you up in the morning with my cocakadoodledoo. I'm going to sit on your windowsill and cockadoodledoo till you wake up. Every morning. You'll always get up early!
Me: Um, you already wake me up every morning : (and then thinking to myself that we're going to have rooster for dinner....).

I started dating a guy who is considerably older than I am, but he is by far the nicest, sweetest man I've ever met. And we have some kind of chemistry that is pretty good, too. He makes me :, so that's all that matters, right?

I got a job, too! Finally I am a WOHM, well tomorrow I become a WOHM! WAH was eating away at my sanity! It's only a bartending gig, but I just love people watching, so it's going to be great for me. Atmosphere is really relaxed too, it's a local bar owned by friends.

and : and : and and : to Everyone and have a great Fourth of July!!!

[JenInMpls]

yay, samantha, on the job and the fella!!

as to elizabeth: cockadoodledoo, indeed.

[Yo Becca]

Samantha - chemistry sounds like a pretty good thing... Congrats on the relationship and the job! :

Robin can be pretty obnoxious these days too. She's out of the blue started hitting (gnetly, but a physical response is a new thing for her), pushing, bopping, etc. I announced this week that there will be no warning - being physically rough with me or her brother is an immediate timeout.

Gymnastics "camp" (3 90 minute days) was a hit. She's excited to take gymnastics in the fall, and I think it's a great physical outlet for her. One of her coaches is a former student of mine, now in college. that made me feel a bit old.

Robin announced to us that she's going to be an artist when she grows up. A picture artist, to be specific.

Our little city (Decatur is like a small town inside atlanta) has a "pied piper" 4th of july parade, with all the kids decorating their bikes, trikes, scooters, etc. Robin is excited to be "in" the parade tomorrow - and of course i have *nothing* to decorate anything with. I did get the kids red, white and blue clothes int he spring consignment sales, thankfully.

Happy fourth, everyone!

[zen-ozz]

Hi everyone ~

Thanks for all the kind wishes! I had a test called "evoked potentials" which is a type of hearing and vision test where you are hooked up to electrodes which measure how your brain is responding to stimulus. That came back normal. So now the neuro wants to do a lumbar puncture to check for proteins in the spinal fluid that are present with MS. At first I was not going to do it because it can come back negative for MS, but one can still have all the symptoms, and then be positive a few years down the road. I figured I would do the diet as if it was MS and hope to really slow the progression. But the neuro said it can actually rule out other things as well, so I guess I will make the appointment on Monday.

The diet has not been easy, but I have been fairly good at keeping to it. Anyone know how to make nut butters w/o adding oil? We have a local company that makes the best nut butters. I had just become addicted to their "Adirondack Jack" butter --peanut, almond, sunflower seen, flax, cranberries and cinnamon. I have been trying to recreate it with cashew instead of peanut, with no success. I just get a mealy, yucky, non creamy mush.


DH and I are considering spending a small fortune to send me to a doctor in the Berkshires how has a great reputation for being really global in his treatment and who has had great success with autoimmune d/o. DH read his book, "Ultraprevention" a few years ago and really got a lot out of it. he now has a private clinic called Ultrawellness.

so we will see where this takes us. Meanwhile, I lost five pounds in one week from this new diet. Sheesh!

Hope everyone is well!

K

[JenInMpls]

Kristin, I had really good luck (unintentionally, actually) with roasted nuts in a Cuisinart food processor. I was trying to grind them into a fine meal for some nut cookies, and they ended up way close to nut butter because I wasn't paying close attention!!

I roasted the nuts myself, actually they were 1/2 dried and 1/2 roasted because I couldn't get my temperamental old gas stove at a low enough temp to just dry them. i was following the recipe in Sally Fallon's 'Nourishing Traditions' for crispy nuts.

Why the oil avoidance, if I might ask? I don't know the diet regime you are following.

Continued positive thoughts for your testing!! s

[Subhuti]

Kristin-- what exactly is the MS diet, and what is the theory behind it?
Also, does the further testing and neg. eye/ear results mean that you might not have MS??
big hug, and congrats on the five pounds! Hey, everything has a silver lining

Liz

[zen-ozz]

Jen ~ No problems with most healthy oils, just wondering how nut butter companies get such smooth butter when I get a mealy mess. I wonder if roasting the nuts brings out the oils in them and makes a better butter. I guess I will try that.

Liz ~ The MS diet has three main components: limit saturated fats to 15 grams and under per day, add essential fatty acids (flax and fish, mostly), and eliminate foods that are known allergens (dairy, gluten, yeast, eggs and legumes). The theory is that MS is an autoimmune d/o that causes the body to attack its own cells. It is believed that the suspect foods lead to leaky gut syndrome which allows the food to pass from the gut into the blood stream. The immune system then attacks these food substances. At some point, the body gets tricked into believing the myelin is the food and attacks that. So, if one eliminates the suspect food and increases essential fatty acids, your body stops attacking itself and figures out how to heal. Well, that's the theory. It seems to have worked for many people, so I am hopeful it acn work for me.

Tonight, Zeke left his pacifier for the pa faery. The kids built a faery house outside in the garden and he put his pa in it. Owen wrote a note for the pa faery telling her that Zeke wanted a wheelbarrow instead of his pa. And, indeed, it looks like that is what the pa faery has left for Zeke. He is still awake in my bed, but is not fussing to much and seems to be trying to go to sleep. This seems like a huge step for Zeke. I swear he still thinks he is the baby of the family. Lets hope a little bit of self-help skill follows giving up the pa!

K

[midwestmeg]

Originally Posted by zen-ozz

Tonight, Zeke left his pacifier for the pa faery. The kids built a faery house outside in the garden and he put his pa in it. Owen wrote a note for the pa faery telling her that Zeke wanted a wheelbarrow instead of his pa. And, indeed, it looks like that is what the pa faery has left for Zeke. He is still awake in my bed, but is not fussing to much and seems to be trying to go to sleep. This seems like a huge step for Zeke. I swear he still thinks he is the baby of the family. Lets hope a little bit of self-help skill follows giving up the pa!

K

Good for Zeke!! Ceci lost the ends of hers (nukie fairy STOLE them, according to her) and she transitioned easily. Well, my mother massaged her for a week or so, then she had to be weaned off of massages!

So, those of us with little ones; are you still nursing at night? I am trying to convince Carl that he does not need to nurse at 1 am anymore and he is maaaaad! Agh, I guess I missed my chance at making this go a little more smoothly when he was a little younger. He has some serious screaming stamina and will try to wrestle me over to the right side for him to nurse.

Samantha, thumbs up for older guys! I live with one.

[JenInMpls]

Well, Sept 04 mamas, seems I was destined to be something I never thought I would become:

The mom of two boys.

baby #2 mooned us within about 10 seconds of the start of the ultrasound and that little package could not have been more evident.

I was a bit surprised and I will admit that I am a touch disappointed, but just a touch. T was also disappointed at first because he 'wanted' a baby sister. I wish no one would ever have asked him what his preference was, because it's a case where it really, really doesn't matter what he wants, you know? No way to change it. I am glad, though, that he has 20 weeks to adjust to the notion of having a baby brother instead of a sister because imagine how disappointed he would have been if we had found out at birth, he would have wanted me to send him back or swap him or something...

Anyway, halfway there and finally feeling better. Phew.

[hjohnson]

Welcome to the two boys club Jen! I love having two boys. There are days where what it would be like to have one of each but I wouldn't change it for anything. I am sure that T will come around and come to like the idea of having a little brother.

Kristin it sounds like things are going well with the diet. I hope it works out for you.

[jilly]

Hello, everyone. I'm so glad you're all still here!

I decided to take a break from MDC for a while, patially for the reasons that Meg was mentioning, and patially to try to convince myself that I could make some IRL mamma friends around here. Well, that was a complete disaster. My refusal to assimilate with the mama-borg routine has left me completely out of the loop now -- like I go to the park and find them all there -- except I wasn't invited -- kind of out of the loop. That's what I get for not sighning my sensorily challenged child up for music lessons and taking him to the 3 - 5 yr old library story time instead of the 2 - 3 yr old story time when he's asking to read chapter books. Bad mama. Oh, and they found out that dh has a subscription to Cigar Afficianado (he is way too bored around here, I tell you) and that sealed the deal.

Anyway, I'm back, and I was kind of scared to even come back on the board, for fear that you guys were all gone and I was going to be left drifting and alone . . . but you're still here. Yay!

Jen -- glad pregnancy is getting less iky. Two boys is a lot of fun -- just put everything nice up high and hide all the brooms, mops and other stick-like objects for a few years and you'll be fine.

Kristen -- sorry to hear about your health problems. Hope the diet helps. Andrew has been off dairy, penuts, tomatos, chocolate and strawberries for almost a year now and it has helped him a lot, but it is really hard to figure out a whole new way of cooking and eating.

I just read through this whole thread in one sitting, so I don't remember anything else, sorry.

We are doing ok. Really ready for vacation, which is in two weeks. Dh had a difficult year and it was a very long winter.

Andrew seems to have made it through the terrible violent destructive tantrums and the lovely fours seem to be emerging a little early -- lots of hugs and i love yous and trying to help and take care of everyone. Its really sweet. My main line of defense against the horrible tantrums was just to put him somewhere new -- his room with a few toys, or turf him outside to play in the sandbox. Or I just let him lie on the floor and wail for a bit, then sit him at the table with a drink and some playdoh, or stick him in the bath . . . some sort of alone + sensory play time seems to be what he usually needs to calm down. He's a little lawyer, though. The most commonly heard phrase coming out of my mouth these days is, "I'm NOT arguing about it, Andrew." As in, "Ëvery day we have two cups of juice and thats it. I'm not giving you another and i'm not arguing about it."

Aaron is a little firebrand! He might have been a mellow baby compared to his brother, but his first set of stitches is presently healing and he has broken about half of my dishes and has FINALLY learned that you can't just walk off of high things . . . But he is super funny and friendly already, so he's pretty fun.

Meg -- I night weaned Aaron a few months ago. It was hard, lots of screaming and staying up all night and daytime tantrums . . . but we finally seem to be down to sleeping from 7pm to 3 or 4am without nursing. It took a month or more of hard core sling walking and rocking chair rocking and sleeping on the couch and I still have to wake up a couple times a week and walk him back to sleep now. But I was just to the point where I couldn't remember anything or put a sentence together anymore, so I needed some uninterrupted sleep.

Anyway, thats all for now. Missed you ladies!

[hjohnson]

Originally Posted by jilly

Jen -- glad pregnancy is getting less iky. Two boys is a lot of fun -- just put everything nice up high and hide all the brooms, mops and other stick-like objects for a few years and you'll be fine.

I second this! My boys like to turn broomsticks into lightsabers. Although I must admit that they use tinkertoys and k'nex for lightsabers as well. Can you tell we have a Star Wars addiction around here?

Welcome back Jill! We have missed you!

[AugustineM]

Hi Jilly!

Halfway through the commercial fishing season and halfway through my summer of single parenting, and so far I'm pretty much OK. Not a stellar mama, but OK.

Anna quit nursing at night several months ago... probably right before I got pregnant. Actually it's been a while then because I'm like 6 months pregnant now. She still stubbornly holds on to about 2 minutes of nursing before bedtime, but I hate it, and she isn't doing it right, so it hurts. I don't think she even remembers what nursing is... I haven't had any milk for 4 months or so. It's like this ritual that she still loves, though. I just need to quit doing it. She has a blanket she loves, and I lay down with her and rub her back... I know that would suffice.

Thor is being very contrary lately, and very... just, weird. He's really crazy sometimes... throwing things around, being mean to Anna, not listening at all and keeps doing things even when I've told him not to. But he's also very emotional, and gets really, really sad if I "discipline" him in any way. I wonder if all this is due to Tony being gone like all the time for the past month, and to the move. He knows we are moving again, and I know he's picked up on the stress and tension in the past months. I am sure that all this plays into his behavior. He is also in a weird stage, I think... like he wants to be doing things, but he doesn't really know what to "do." He doesnt' much like drawing or painting, and he is not very good at playing on his own. He usually gets up in Anna's playtime, which she is great at doing on her own, and then bothers her and takes her stuff away. I feel like I'm constantly telling him no or giving him reminders, but not doing that to Anna as much. It's hard.

Jen -- It's funny because Thor is insisting on a baby brother, NOT a baby sister! He even said he wants Anna to have a penis so she can be his baby brother!

[midwestmeg]

Hi Jill!!! I was somewhere awhile ago with other mothers and I realized I have nothing in common with them.... nothing.... and for the record I am not THAT strange! But I am certainly an attached parent.

Okay, I nightweaned Carl. And this morning Greg requested that Carl start sleeping in his own bed. I dunno why... I'm getting great sleep!! That's because Carl sleeps on top of Greg- and Carl is a thrasher. So it's a good thing I've had a few good nights in me because I don't see Carl loving his own bed... but we'll see!

Carl is also 'potty trained.' Well, our version of it. Which involves using no diapers and/or going naked. He's pretty good about telling us 'dee, dee' and he can also produce if you just set him on the potty. I get him up right away in the morning while his diaper is dry and he pees off of the porch. I should stop putting a diaper on him at night, it's usually dry. Also (my personal favorite) he is consistently pooping in the potty. So much better!! I do not like those toddler poops! Yuck.

Jen- congrats on the 2nd boy!! How fun. :

Ashley- Cecilia is a lot like that right now also. Carl plays happily the only thing she can find to do for herself is to interrupt his playtime. : Must be normal.

I did bite the bullet and sign Ceci up for a little Waldorf school twice a week in the fall. I think she'll be ready to handle it and something for 'her.' Plus I'll be able to get her there and still not have Carl falling apart. It's about 30 minutes away- I'm not looking forward to the drive.

So I had a little impulse purchase last night... a zero-turn riding lawnmower. Be warned- do not send me to Sears unless you want to loose all of your money. I got a fantastic bargain but dh was still unimpressed. I guess $1,800 is a lot of money for mower when your last one was free. But I am DONE using the Mastercrap every week for 3 plus hours!! I have ridden it to Braxton-Hicks Hell during the last two pregnancies and I refuse to do a 3rd that way. Some women want a dishwasher, I needed a new mower.

Kristen, we want an update!! How are you doing?

Stacy?! Right, like Stacy has time to post here... did she have another boy?!
All my IRL AP mama friends are pregnant with their 4th already. I'm still TTA for a few months, but ahem, no promises.

[JenInMpls]

ashley, in order to try to change my mindset about when #2 is coming and hopefully avoid an induction, I finally got my butt over to the Nov DDC. I feel like I'm crashing a gigantic party. It's huge like the Dec DDC. Hope I don't kill as many threads in the Nov club as the Dec one.

Meg - good purchase! I am one of those women who wants (and got) the dishwasher but my lawn is the size of a postage stamp, so why do I need anything more than my little push-push reel mower? And I had forgotten about those toddler poops until I watched my neighbor's kids last week while he took the cat to the vet on short notice. The 2-year-old filled his dipe with black beans and corn. Nas-TY. Plus I could find about 1 and a half sad disposable wipes to do the whole clean-up job with. I swear, I couldn't even find a washcloth or anything in their house. I almost plunked him in the tub but for the two four-year-olds (well, one 4yo and one almost 4yo) who were adamant about going outside. Made me glad I've got a slightly larger age spread to my kids.

OK, I really need to take a shower while T's at preschool...! xo