Feeling ambiguous about pregnancy...

[bzmum]

Hello. I'm newly preggo with my second. My EDD is Feb 8th. I have a 2.5 yr old son who rules the roost. Anyhow, I'm feeling very ambiguous about this pregnancy. My DH and I had planned to become pregnant and now its happened and I just feel blah...I know I'm happy but also am not elated like I was with my first. Part of me doesn't want to be too excited because I had two miscarriages before I was pregnant with my son. My husband and I have also had a difficult couple years in our marriage. Any advise...does this get better?

[rayfay]

I'm just lurking, and I saw your post. I'm so sorry to hear about your "blah-ness" right now. I think sometimes (especially after having a loss--or two--in your past) it's hard to completely feel thrilled to think about going through a rollercoaster of feelings that being pregnant brings.
No, having a baby doesn't ever solve your problems, but I do pray that this will be a time of refreshment in your marriage and family. Babies are such a blessing, and it's totally understandable to get caught up in not really understanding how to feel through it all....but I know how easy it is to fall in love all over again with your husband when you see him holding your precious joy that you both brought into the world together. And then for your first LO to understand a new depth of responsibility and see them help you will be so amazing.
I know it's hard now, but I know that as your belly grows the faith in what an amazing time this is in your life will grow with it. Enjoy it!! Life is so short.
Hugs to you mama!!!

[elspethshimon]

I think it's perfectly normal to feel ambivalent about pregnancy. Last time I started of super excited and after about a week I was suddenly overwhelmed thinking that we really weren't ready and that we really should have waited.

Now, since I had the miscarriage last time, I can't even bring myself to believe that I am pregnant again, much less get excited about it. I just assume I'm going to get my period tomorrow or the next day.

[CityChic]

I am up at 2:06am because of this. The first pregnancy was a surprise and I was terrified. This one was not as much of a shock but I am feeling very sad for my little guy. I love him so much and I don't want him to get left out or lost in this whole event. Second babies must just be different

[skybluepink02]

Well this is my first, but I've been pregnant before, so I'm not getting my hopes up too much. We've been TTC, but stopped this month because my hubby is having heart surgery in the near future. So of course I got pregnant! I'm very happy about it, but between focusing on DH and not really beliving that this one is going to stick, I'm pretty ambivalent. I feel bad, because I'm not really excited at this point. Just worried.

[bzmum]

Yeah, I think that the further my pregnancy progresses, the happier I'll get. Like elspethshimon, I feel like the next time I go to the bathroom I'll have gotten my period. I'm glad I'm not the only one who is feeling ambivalent.

[mellydis]

I'm feeling this, to be sure.
I was up pretty much all night last night, listening to my son breathe and feeling torn up about having to get him out of the bed/wean him etc...if need be. I'm lost about the whole thing. I don't want anything to change for him - he's the love of my life! But i know having a sibling will be wonderful for him.
God, is there anything I'm not worried about right now? Let's throw miscarriage into the mix while we're at it. Every time I go pee there's a few moments of loaded silence as i wipe (TMI??)
Lots of support vibes to all of you,
Merridith

[skybluepink02]

Originally Posted by mellydis

miscarriage into the mix while we're at it. Every time I go pee there's a few moments of loaded silence as i wipe (TMI??)

I know exactly how you feel. I won't stop expecting this for quite some time, I expect. I'm a compulsive wiper.

[PaigeAnThem]

I go back and forth- one minute really excited, the next I feel like oh-my-god-what-have-we-done!!! We planned this pregnancy but I still feel surprised by it somehow.

I was feeling bad about shaking up my 19mo old's life- cosleeping, nursing, center of attention and all that. When I told my dh I was feeling that way he got really emotional and said that he was really really excited to be able to give her the gift of a little brother or sister. He was an only child and always wished that he had a sibling to play with. While I'm still a little nervous about what's going to happen with our breastfeeding and cosleeping that really helped ease my guilt about her.