When will you try again? - Page 2

[thomlynn]

Originally Posted by KariM

We never try to prevent pregnancies, but I do follow ecological breastfeeding to try and give the babes some space.

It worked well last time as I conceived DD2 just before DD1's 3rd birthday.

I'm hopeful we'll get about the same spacing as I do want to give DD2 a chance to be a baby!

Same for us, only the girls are 22 months apart.

[pixiepunk]

i am so torn on this subject. i always said i'd like to have 3 or 4. DH has always wanted a "six pack" - i've told him since forever that there's no way i'm having six, and did remind him that our family would be a six pack if we had four

the whole time i was pg i said i was done. it was really emotionally difficult for me being pregnant this time for a lot of reasons, not the least of which this was the first time we weren't actually TTC. i also had a lot of stuff happen that would've been emotionally difficult pregnant or not. the morning after i had her i felt sure that i never wanted to do it again. my labor was only 4 hours and incredibly intense. but not so horrible or anything, a pretty easy and beautiful homebirth, no tearing, quick and speedy recovery.

now, i just don't know. it's nice to have another baby. and she's an amazing baby - so mellow, so easy. but it's still hard to manage sometimes, and i can't help but think that i'd really be just losing my mind if i had a high need baby like DD1 was. i like the idea of having 4, but i just don't know if i could handle being pregnant again, adjusting to life with a new member of the family again. i've considered adoption, but i don't know that we could afford it.

i'm also 34, and one thing i know for sure is that it'll be at least 3 or 4 years before we'd TTC, and DH is almost 9 years older than me. i'm not sure i want to start over with an infant when i'm pushing 40 and he's pushing 50, especially when i'd finally be getting this baby off to school and have the ability to teach more and lead more retreats and maybe even (gasp!) go on a retreat myself! a selfish little voice in my head looks forward to a time when i actually have some time for myself, to do the things i love to do. i seriously dream of a day when all the kids are in school and after i get them off in the morning i can spend an hour or two just doing some yoga, straightening up the house, sewing, maybe even read a book just for pleasure and get through it in less than 5 months

i also really miss my DH. i know that sounds weird. it's not like we never spend alone time together, but it's rare these days with him having to get up so early (like 4am) and working multiple jobs. and then he comes home and the kids want his attention, and then we all crawl into bed together and we're on totally opposite sides of the bed from each other. i look forward to a day when all the kids are happily in their own beds and DH and i can just snuggle together like we used to.

sigh. i dunno. we definitely havealot more thinking to do...

[fireshifter]

I really liked being pregnant, but I want to go to nursing school and don't want to do that pregnant so it depends on when I get into that. I won't even qualify to apply for another two years so I can probably squeeze another one out before then.

We LOVE the 27 month spacing we have with these two. It works out really well for us in a lot of ways so we'll probably shoot for that.

I am already discussing the next one with my MW. At my 3 day pp appointment, we agreed that we'd put it in my records to go to at least 43 weeks b/c I WANT to go into labor naturally next time (have gone to 42 weeks both times and had water broken to induce)

Jen D.

[Datura]

We're pretty sure that we're done here. If we have another child, it'll probably be an oopsie event, hehe. That said, there is some talk of adopting in 5 years or so, depending upon the situation.

[sparkly]

I think having them 18 months apart would be a good length...which means trying somewhat soon--4 more months!

[momtoafireteam]

I dont know. I think about this all the time. If I could find someone to carry and birth the baby, I would want them about 18 mos apart. However, with DH's deployment schedule, and my body needing a break (check my signature line..lol) it may end up being longer.

[counterGOPI]

somewhere around 2 years. we want them all to be 2 yrs apart. i want a winter baby next though ive got my spring and autumn babes :

[mama_ani]

We don't believe in trying for or preventing babies... so the next one will come whenever he/she will come or not at all... we'll have to wait and see!

[chely7425]

Originally Posted by mama_ani

We don't believe in trying for or preventing babies... so the next one will come whenever he/she will come or not at all... we'll have to wait and see!

This is pretty much how we feel about it.. we will just see what happens!

[spookymama]

Is anyone else on the fence??

At the start of our last pregnancy, DH was pretty set on just two.
we always talked about having 2-3 so this seemed pretty right on. I LOVE being pregnant though, so I've always been partial to three.

Now that we have two, we may just be done. It may be better just to focus our attention on our two instead of going for a third.

We've talked about possibly going for baby number three when Lilah is 2-3.

[ErikaG]

Considering what it took to get pregnant with this one, and the fact that we'd both like to have #2 before I turn 35, (I just turned 33) we've had this discussion a lot. We'll see when my cycle comes back and what it's like...DH has made the request that we don't have two in one year, so the earliest we'd try is August or September of this year. We'll likely just go with the whole "not trying, not preventing" for a while, and I'll ask at my PP follow-up when the OB is comfortable prescribing another course of Clomid (probably not til April of next year or so, about a year after Naomi's birth.)

So, the answer is "soon." Can't really be more specific than that. I'm hoping that #2 will be able to be a home birth in the water, but we'll see.

[GISDiva]

"Done with one."

I put it in quotes because it's a nice little rhyme.

Maybe someday we'll open our home to some other child who needs one, but even though the pregnancy was great, we're only creating one child for the planet.

[Jennisee]

Originally Posted by Jennisee

This whole pregnancy, I was convinced that we were stopping at two, but now I'm not so sure.

The more I think about it, the more I want another one. I must be crazy.

[pixiepunk]

FWIW, the transition to 3 from 2 has actually been the easiest for me so far. going from 0 to 1 is just a total change in your whole life as you know it, and then having to keep track or two kids and their needs instead of one is a challenge. but for me, once i was used to that, adding another into the mix wasn't such a big deal. of course, she is a very mellow and easy going baby, i'm sure it'd be harder if she was more high-need. but i've been amazed at how smooth and easy the transition has been

[milosmomma]

Originally Posted by spookymama

Is anyone else on the fence??

At the start of our last pregnancy, DH was pretty set on just two.
we always talked about having 2-3 so this seemed pretty right on. I LOVE being pregnant though, so I've always been partial to three.

Now that we have two, we may just be done. It may be better just to focus our attention on our two instead of going for a third.

We've talked about possibly going for baby number three when Lilah is 2-3.

Oh yeah, we're totally on the fence. We've always said 2-3...and now we're at 2. I don't feel like I'm done, but things will have to change for us to go for #3. My pregnancy & birth were great, and I LOVE being pregnant, but I've had almost no social support post-partum this time around. I can't do this alone again.

Ideally we'll be back in VT soon (close to family and friends and generally caring people). If that happens, we'll probably TTC immediately.

[UberMama]

We're done. I debated on doing another surrogacy but nope, I'm done completely.

[ErikaG]

Finally had a postpartum check up yesterday, and healed beautifully. Apparently it's noteworthy (there was a PA student with my OB) that I had a natural childbirth. The PA student looked shocked. When he heard that my labor was nearly 36 hours, he looked appalled. It's sad that it's noteworthy that I'd have that, but I suppose many MDs don't see that very often.

But, we were told to wait at least six more months to try again, and we probably will before we actively try. The OB doesn't seem concerned about an "oops" before then but warned me that it may be more likely than it was before. He said to go ahead and call him when I was ready for another Clomid cycle if we didn't have success in a reasonable time frame.

So at this point, the real answer seems to be "in about six months, depending on how Naomi is doing."