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Nooooo! - Page 2  

post #21 of 30
6/6/08 at 1:41pm
If I were in your shoes I would lie. I would think of the best lie I could come up with that would keep her away without hurting her feelings. DS has chicken pox...I already have other guests coming and there is no room...our house is being fumigated and we have to stay with friends...just anything that will work. It will have to be creative so that your MIL will still come but SIL won't, but I'm sure it can be done!
post #22 of 30
6/6/08 at 5:05pm
ditto to what everyone is saying.....heck NO!!! She can't come stay with you!!! It has nothing to do with her personally, and everything to do with YOU and your birth!!! That's the kind of stuff that stalls labor, having unwanted/uninvited people in your house. NO WAY!!!!!My mom weaseled her way into my birthing space after three days of agonizing, sleepless, prodromal labor. I still feel mad about it when I think of it! I should have just said no to her. this time around she point blank asked me if she was invited, and I told her absolutely NOT! and to remember she was not invited last time either! I think she still loves me though Time to assert yourself, mama. If she wants to be offended or take it personally, that's her stuff, not yours. She'll get over it.
post #23 of 30
6/6/08 at 5:31pm
Thread Starter 
Thanks again mamas! You are giving me resolve. Quick update. We both tried to call MIL yesterday and DH has been trying all day today. I am also going for acupuncture, right now if fact, because I am ready anyway. I have been barely able to walk for the last few days, so maybe with any luck we will have a baby today! Typical me, I would rather avoid confrontation, but I am going to say there needs to be some type of compromise if this doesn't work.
post #24 of 30
6/6/08 at 7:02pm
I'm sending you wishes for a quick, easy labor tonight with a gentle birth in your birth sanctuary.

Truly wishing for all to go well for you and for you to have the space and peace that you need.
post #25 of 30
6/6/08 at 7:36pm
Oh hell no!

Don't stress -- remember, it's your house, it's your birth. It's what you want. And if someone ever tries making you look like the meany for enforcing that, well, they're gonna look pretty petty. Just remember that, ok?

I would make it VERY clear that you only want your DH, your DC, your MW and your MIL there. All about how you pick your words. You don't have to say "I don't want YOU *AND* your child there", you just have to say "We/I am planning on only having....(the following people) at the birth. This is what we think is going to work best for us in our home. I hope you can understand that this is what our plan has been for some time and we would like it to stay that way."
post #26 of 30
6/6/08 at 9:20pm
Thread Starter 
I really like the way you put that Twwly, thanks. It is about what we want, not what we don't want! As it is, my midwife has a current apprentice who is almost done and a new apprentice just starting, so I already have all those 3 here as well. I love them all, so it is fine, just lots of bodies ya know? At least the room is pretty big.

BUT, I am feeling much better right now.... As far as the induction, nothing yet... but I kindof had a feeling it wouldn't work, especially because I had mixed feelings about doing it. I feel like I wouldn't have gone today if it wasn't for the deal with my SIL, so somehow it just felt a bit wrong. I talked to the baby on the way there and told her not to come if she wasn't ready.

And... as it turns out, we have total support from my MIL. Ron finally got through to her, and according to her, she was supposed to call Ron first and ASK about coming.

MIL agrees we should tell her there are already too many people here for the birth and both boys would be a mistake. She also has plans to spend time in Eugene, where my nephew's half brother lives (I didn't even know that!) So if she is here when labor starts, she is basically getting kicked out to the beach house she has keys for or Eugene. Ron also made it clear I only wanted a short visit if she wants to come the day after the baby is born, and that in general I want it to be really quiet the first few days.

Our other big worry was that she would want to leave her son here with MIL and take off on her own (because she does that ALL THE TIME). MIL already anticipated that one! Guess she already told her that she wasn't watching him, not for even 3 minutes. She laid it out and told her this was about me not her. See why I was OK with her being here? I was really hoping she would come through on this - what a relief!
post #27 of 30
6/6/08 at 10:09pm
Oh, I'm so glad that things have resolved themselves so well for you!! Way to go MIL!
post #28 of 30
6/6/08 at 10:48pm
Sounds like MIL has your back!
post #29 of 30
6/7/08 at 7:58am
Super! Even better though, I would ask MIL to handle all the talking to SIL.
*You* definitely should not have to pass on any of these messages, leave it to DH... but even better, MIL!
post #30 of 30
6/7/08 at 11:49am
So glad it's resolved!
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