At What Point Would You Give Up?

[ColwynsMommy]

Contractions started yesterday morning at 5:45am. Continued pretty much all day, though in the afternoon they spaced out from 6 min apart to 15 min apart, then picked up again in the evening. I tried to go to bed at 10pm only to have them start getting stronger (back to about 6 min apart), to the point where it was much better to be up. Took a shower at 3am which made me feel great, but the contractions spaced out to 15-20 min apart again. I tried going back to bed, but every time I would start to doze, another contraction would come and I'd have to leap out of bed to deal with it. They're still about 15-20 min apart, but hurt. Even though the contractions are widely spaced, my uterus feels crampy and super-firm nonstop.

I got *maybe* 60 minutes of sleep, total. I feel like I have to poop, but can't. I also feel like I'm going to vomit.. nausea started yesterday and has been getting steadily worse. Bag of water still intact, no discharge or any other sign of dilation.

I'm 40w2d, and trying for a homebirth. My first two births were fantastic hospital births, and I'm really, really discouraged. I would love to just go to the hospital, get my epidural and pitocin, and be done with it. But I've already paid the midwife's fees and haven't seen my regular OB since 20 weeks, when I told her I was having a homebirth.

At what point during this kind of prodromal labor would you give up and go to the hospital? I'm so friggin' tired, I feel like I've been doing this for more than 24 hours with no progress. My midwife said, "Oh, that's normal, sometimes it can go on for days!" So helpful.

[BetsyS]

Not yet.

Do you have a bathtub (I saw you mention shower)? I had prodromal labor with my first as well. Not fun. Sometimes soaking in the tub was enough to relax me and get me to where I could catnap a bit (yes, even in the tub). I just leaned over the edge, nad I'd fall asleep.

I've heard that a glass of wine works well, but I've never tried it.

(()) Good luck to you! I hope you see your baby very soon.

[SublimeBirthGirl]

I had 3 weeks of it myself, with several intense days at the end. When active labor truly started, she was born in under 4 hours, peacefully at home, then I took a shower in my own shower and we went to sleep in our own bed, zero separation, no drugs, no warming table, no hospital policies, no crap. It would take the threat of death to get me to have a hospital birth again, and my hospital birth was pretty good. Nothing compares to doing it in your own space. Try to distract yourself, and remember that your body and baby know what they are doing even if they're not letting your mind in on the secret.

I did drink several small glasses of wine (not in the same night, haha) over the course of the last couple of weeks of my 2nd pregnancy, when I was having so much early off and on labor, so I could get some rest. Worked like a charm.

[possum]

You can do this, mama.
I had four days of pretty intense prodromal labor. I saw my acupunturist; I walked; I went in for a visit with the midwives (previously scheduled); I walked; I tried to sleep; I tried homeopathic blue and black cohoshes given by the midwives; I tried pinching my little toes (as directed by the acupuncturist); I bought homeopathic pulsatilla, but never got a chance to try it because eventually my baby was born.
The best thing I did for myself was to go to a warm therapy pool and floated around with my husband and mom for a couple of hours. The midwives suggested this because they said often prodromal labor happens when the baby is trying to get into a little better position. Being in the water was relaxing, was something to do, and it allowed me to move more freely, and real labor got underway soon after I got out of the pool. If the folks at the health club had only known I was in labor, they'd have died!

Hang in there!

Melinda

[ColwynsMommy]

Originally Posted by possum

The midwives suggested this because they said often prodromal labor happens when the baby is trying to get into a little better position. Being in the water was relaxing, was something to do, and it allowed me to move more freely, and real labor got underway soon after I got out of the pool. If the folks at the health club had only known I was in labor, they'd have died!

Hang in there!

Melinda

I'm wondering if this is the problem.. the baby's not positioned right. For the last hour she's been moving like crazy, all over the place, and it frickin' hurts! Her movements have never hurt before, but whatever she's doing is almost as bad as the contractions.

I know I wouldn't be comfortable in my tub (I'm big, the tub is little), but I wonder if filling the birth pool now and taking a soak would be counterproductive. Hmm.

[xixstar]

Originally Posted by ColwynsMommy

I wonder if filling the birth pool now and taking a soak would be counterproductive. Hmm.

Getting rest when you need it isn't counterproductive. The birth pool might give you the break you need to build up some more energy - I'd go for it!

Happy labor vibes for you, after some rest!

[NatureMama3]

don't give up now! do soak in water as much as you can. When labor is final (I won't say real, that drove me nuts when I was waiting for labor to finish up!) the water will NOT stop it.

I went into labor at 37 weeks on the nose, 12 hours straight hard labor. Then it stalled. Then I was in and out of labor for 2 whole weeks straight. I *did* try to get induced (due to pre-e symptoms) but was refused repeatedly. At 39 weeks on the nose I went into labor for the final time after my water broke.

it is HARD. hang in there!

[olive&pimiento]

With the crampy, discoordinate contractions and nausea, it sounds like it is possible that you are dehydrated. I would try to really concentrate on hydration and rest for awhile. Have you had any exams?

[sapphire_chan]

Silly question here, but do any of the positions that help with positioning make you feel better? Like knees-chest?

[Catherine12]

Originally Posted by SublimeBirthGirl

I had 3 weeks of it myself, with several intense days at the end. When active labor truly started, she was born in under 4 hours, peacefully at home, then I took a shower in my own shower and we went to sleep in our own bed, zero separation, no drugs, no warming table, no hospital policies, no crap. It would take the threat of death to get me to have a hospital birth again, and my hospital birth was pretty good. Nothing compares to doing it in your own space. Try to distract yourself, and remember that your body and baby know what they are doing even if they're not letting your mind in on the secret.

I practically could have written this myself! I had a lot of prodromal labor with dd2. When I finally went into "real" labor it only lasted an hour and was almost painless (excepting the last 15 minutes or so) - a really amazing birth!

I also experienced what you describe with the baby being slightly malpositioned and moving around a lot/causing discomfort. Once she settled into position, away we went! If you think your baby may be posterior, or slighlty posterior, you could try some of the exercises on spinning babies.

I also found that having dh massage my belly was very relaxing. He did this right before labor started, trying to get me relaxed enough to sleep (I hadn't been having contractions but had an achy uterus and was very stressed about being overdue, etc.). He did get me relaxed enough to try napping, but labor started as soon as I started drifting off - I think in some ways I needed that relaxation for things to get started.

[christinelin]

Your labor sounds like my second one -- a day and a half of (hard) prodromol labor. My story ended with one massive contraction (water broke, threw up, knocked me to the ground), which I afterwards guessed was transition and a three minute pushing stage. I hope you have something similarly easy to look forward to!

[NatureMama3]

more thoughts...

during that 2 week period I focused HARD on getting/staying properly hydrated and eating enough (I'd had HG the whole pregnancy). I also saw a chiropractor weekly for adjustment and a masseuse for pregnancy massage. They showed DH how to do massage as well to keep baby in a good position.

[mamabutterfly]

Don't give up, mama!!! This is a really hard and exhausting kind of labor to have, but you can make it through and it is your third babe... it could totally take off any time now, and your body may be getting things ready so that active labor may be really quick!

Hydration and rest are definately huge for you. And I would really suggest calling in some support from women who get it - friends if you have anyone who understands, or at least the midwife should be able to give you something more constructive than she has so far. I'd tell her that you know prodromal labor can be normal, but you are worn out and need some more constructive support so that you don't feel like you need the hospital! Can someone offer you a massage? Try the tub even if you can only sit in it -- and the birth tub could be good whether it gives you a break or not. A break is okay (some midwives suggest a small glass of red wine and a benadryl or herb tea, something to sleep. ask yours about this).

I also second knee-chest position, lunges, and hip circles -- give that baby all the space she needs to move.

I had two+ days of prodromal with this babe, but the active labor was a breeze. I really believe she needed to turn, and it took a while.

Remind yourself that there's a lot than comes with the hospital interventions that you don't necessarily want/need at this point. Focus on the moment when you will be snuggling this sweet little one in your own cozy bed!

Hang in there!!!!

[tanyalynn]

My 2nd labor was like this and it was really, really important that I was home. My son was in a bad position (asynclitic--not that I figured that out then, I had to put together a lot of clues later on) and it took a long time for him and me to keep moving, contracting, moving more etc to get him right and then for labor to get going. So it was really important for me not to be lying down, or to have someone break my waters--my son probably wouldn't have had the room to move around and get in the right position then.

It's hard, it's tiring, and I agree with the PPs about keeping hydrated and such. But maybe there's a good reason that it's slow. But I absolutely think you should rest as much as possible. My mw actually suggested my husband go get some wine and I should have a glass--it allows some of the uterine muscles to relax _if_ labor hasn't really started (I was worried it would stall labor altogether, she said no--and when my labor finally got going, wow, she was right, I was just along for the ride).

[Kidzaplenty]

I am hoping you are holding your little one by now. I just wanted to offer my support. You can do this. But sorry it is taking so long.

[applejuice]

[flapjack]

I no longer believe in labour. The way I see it, my uterus is in constant motion from orgasm to afterpains, and sometimes it really hurts and I don't get enough sleep.
I find that TENS really helps with the pain, and sometimes water as well. I also kept visualising a river during my last pregnancy as well, which helped- sometimes it's smooth running to the birth of my baby, and sometimes it was rough and choppy with great big rocks in the way. It sounds like right now, you're hitting a few rocks.

One other thing- IME, this hurts a lot more than the actual labour.

[ColwynsMommy]

Thanks for all the help everyone!

I ended up having the baby yesterday, after 52 hours of prodromal/early labor and only 1 hour of active labor and pushing. I talked to my midwife at 8am yesterday to let her know that my contractions were still 10 minutes apart after going the whole night like that.. we talked about ways to speed labor up, and I told her that if the baby wasn't born by that evening, that I'd want to go to the hospital because I couldn't face another night of endless contractions and no sleep. About an hour after getting off the phone with her, the contractions changed and I sent my mom and my kids out of the way and camped out on the toilet.. Fiona was born a scant hour later, unexpectedly unassisted, into her Daddy's hands. My midwife showed up about 10 minutes after the birth. We're all great now, and I have to say that the prodromal labor was worth it because that hour, while intense, was not nearly as bad as I was expecting active labor/transition to be.

Thanks so much for all your support!

[NatureMama3]

congrats! glad it is over and baby is safely here.

[christinelin]

Hurray! Welcome Fiona!