I feel like I'm more holistic than my MW

[swissmiss2584]

I feel frustrated. I have been learning things about my MW that concerns me. She said a birth stool isn't necessary but what if I want to use one? She also said that there is nothing I can do to prevent GBS and I know other MW suggest things and they work. She said TTO is a poison and I know that lot's of MW use it. I and so confused and a little worried. I also feel that she is too busy for me sometimes and she is always scatter brained and gets my paper work and stuff mixed up a lot.

I think I just need encouragement or advice.

[slave2myprincess]

wow. I see your are due in July which isn't too far away. Even though she doesn't think a birth stool is necessary tell your MW you want to use one anyway. It is not her decision to tell you what is necessary if this is something that you would like to use while you are in labor, she said have no problem with that. There is things that you can due to help with GBS. i've been researching this as well because i was positive with my last pregnancy. You can do a google search on remedies for GBS. I know i've heard of ppl using garlic, probiotics, and you can do chlorhexidine washes during labor. i don't know anything about TTO. But i would be very uncomfortable with a MW that is getting papers mixed up and what not. I would voice your concerns and if she doesn't seem to still be on the same page with you then there is always the option of finding someone else. Though finding someone else might be difficult since you only have one month to go and then trying to establish a bond with someone new. I think i would find someone else. I changed midwives when i was 34 weeks (long story). Good luck hun !!!

[swissmiss2584]

thanks. I have been taking probiotics, echinacea, Vit C and chopped garlic. I wish she wasn't so scatter brained. I think she may have too much on her plate and too many people trying to help her.

[Joezmom]

My biggest concern would be whether she really has the time to give you the kind of care you want. And I would sure want to know that she had my paperwork connected with my face! You can still shop around if you don't feel comfortable.

[Arwyn]

TTO is toxic to pets (and probably other animals). I don't think there is really solid evidence yet on eliminating GBS via alternative methods (I believe they are effective and it will be proven eventually, but the studies aren't there yet - who would pay for them?). Birth stools aren't "necessary", although many women like them, but I know many midwives who don't bother bringing them.

All that said, it's never too late to switch midwives, and if you're not comfortable, something needs to change. Have you tried bringing your concerns to her? If she brushes them off, or makes you feel worse, I'd start calling around to other midwives.

[paquerette]

I guess I would start to worry about what else she doesn't make available to her clients, kwim? I don't think every midwife should know and have available every tool, trick, and remedy, but they should have a pretty broad spectrum and always be learning about new things.

And really, GBS is completely untreatable? Then why do they bother giving abx for it?

[dziwozony]

i loved using a birth stool! not only was it a great height for leaning on when i was into the all fours position, but i ended up delivering my son while sitting on it. it was a great position for effective pushing for me. if anything, just have it around & see how you feel about it in the moment!

it's okay if your midwife has different beliefs as you, but she needs to be able to put yours into the forefront for YOUR birth. i would discuss the things you mentioned with her. let her know you're concerned. her response will probably help you decide if you want to find a new midwife or not!

~good luck~

[MommyMidwife]

I know that I am not as holistic as some of my ladies (i would rather take a tylenol than smell lavender oil) are BUT I always always always listen to what they are telling me and if I don't have the answer for them right at that moment, I will go look it up and get back to them with the answer. I travel with a birthing stool in my backseat...LOL!
The whole focus of my practice is birthing ladies so I am very organized and put together when it comes to that...now the rest of my life is another matter completely!
If you are concerned and you are having these feelings now - dump her and find another mw...if you don't have that option then sit her down and tell her how you feel!
jeni

[70toes]

Funny, that's always how I felt about my OB! Let's keep in mind that this is your birth and you can do whatever you want! She's there to help you and work with you to achive your ideal birth. If you don't feel like you're on the same page, talk to her. I would try being a little more assertive. If that doesn't work, move on! You need to be confident and comfortable when the big moment arrives. As far as GBS, my midwife did nothing but keep it in mind as she watched the baby after birth. It need not always have preventative treatment. Good luck!

[elfinbaby]

She sounds flakey. Do you really want to stay with her? Are there any other mws around? 1 out of 3 of my mws was a flake but so so nice. She'd forget appts. but make them up, forget this or that, etc. No harm done but I felt a little neglected but tried to be laid back about it. It ended up in my postpartum I required 2 stitches and her flakiness really showed through then. It also took her over 6 months to file my dd birth certificate so she couldn't get insurance. There were also other little things that occurred but my point is if you have doubts or are feeling unsure then leave. After my experience, I now believe that if a woman even considers leaving or has issues with a caregiver she should just leave - it's your instinct kicking in.

Sure - it's likely everything will be fine but the point is she's not holding up her end of the bargain. We wouldn't hesitate to fire a roofer or a plumber that wasn't doing his job. But for some reason we'll hang in there w/neglectful, flaky hcp. You can stay with her but, from what I'm reading, you may not get the birth or attention you want.

[earthie_mama]

Originally Posted by elfinbaby

She sounds flakey. Do you really want to stay with her? Are there any other mws around? 1 out of 3 of my mws was a flake but so so nice. She'd forget appts. but make them up, forget this or that, etc. No harm done but I felt a little neglected but tried to be laid back about it. It ended up in my postpartum I required 2 stitches and her flakiness really showed through then. It also took her over 6 months to file my dd birth certificate so she couldn't get insurance. There were also other little things that occurred but my point is if you have doubts or are feeling unsure then leave. After my experience, I now believe that if a woman even considers leaving or has issues with a caregiver she should just leave - it's your instinct kicking in.

Sure - it's likely everything will be fine but the point is she's not holding up her end of the bargain. We wouldn't hesitate to fire a roofer or a plumber that wasn't doing his job. But for some reason we'll hang in there w/neglectful, flaky hcp. You can stay with her but, from what I'm reading, you may not get the birth or attention you want.

I agree, red flags are popping up fpr you, time to find a new care provider (or UC, like I wish I would have instead of using the hospital with #1 and the m/w who wasn't a good match for #2- I am UCing this time and due in July too )

My midwife tried to get me to go to the hospital because I was "too tired" I was fine, but she looked tired. My birth was hindered by her presence. I was birthraped -again- when she 'guided' a cervical lip while I was pushing my son out. Against my will, after I told her to stop, it hurt.

Beware of your intuition. You need to be 100% comfortable!

[PassionateWriter]

try to find someone else (just from reading what you wrote). its soo hard to switch..i know..ive done it twice this pregnancy but the perfect MW is out there for you.

[swissmiss2584]

I have a prenatal this week and will bring up my concerns. I would like to give her a birth plan even though she said I didn't need to make one. I feel that she needs to know what I want out of this birth especially since I paid her and she will be in my house. She is a very nice woman but I just want her to know how I feel.

[IowaMom]

She sounds a bit like my midwife so I understand how you're feeling a bit. My midwife I don't think even has a birthing stool because I asked her about one once and she just kind of shrugged and said, "we've delivered babies on toilets before." when I asked her about a waterbirth it was just "sure someone do that - we've done that before." She's also very unorganized in her office and last week I was her first appt for the day at 10am and she was 1/2 hour late! However, the good part was once she did show, she sat there and gave me all the time in the world and I didn't feel rushed at all like I know I would have at a doctor's office.

I've been told that even though her office is unorganized, she's great at deliveries so I'm sticking with that positive thought. And really, she's my only chance at a homebirth midwife so I feel like I have to make the best with what I have.

I would go with your gut and discuss a birth plan with her. Also - have you talked to previous clients of hers? Perhaps she could give you a list and you could talk to a few - perhaps they recognized some of the same things but ended up with a great experience that could help make you feel less anxious.

[mwherbs]

there are studies to support the use of chlorhexidine rinses in labor to prevent GBS, the numbers are similar to when docs only treated risk factors so the stats are not as good as IV antibiotics in labor but is the recommended treatment in low resource areas -- the advantage to using very dilute chlorhexidine every 6 hrs in labor is that it also reduces other critters like e-coli , and leaves lactobacillus in tact.

[swissmiss2584]

You know I want to stay with her because of the fact that she is great at delivering babies and she does that leaving the mothers without a tear! She has been a MW for over 25 years and I think she is just getting unorganized and scatter brained as she gets older because she looks sooo tired after an all night birth and then she shows up at the office. I'm sure when she was younger she had it all together.

I will definitely go over a birth plan with her, It's my right and she should know what I prefer.