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Grandmother nurses grandson (not lactating)

post #1 of 60
Thread Starter 
Article

What do you think? I found this article on a different family message board. Not all the mothers there are BF'ers, so most of the responses were "EEEEWW!!" I argued that it is only "gross" because of our cultural views on breastfeeding.
post #2 of 60
I think the problem is that she did it without talking to the mother or father- out of line, imo.
post #3 of 60
No i totally would have freaked out - i think the mom in the story handled it much better than i would have.
post #4 of 60
That crosses a major line for me. No one nurses my child but me, except in emergency circumstances. Certainly NOT my mother-in-law! NEVER NEVER NEVER! I wouldn't say it's "gross" so much as incredibly disrespectful of the mother's bond with her baby, and a serious violation of boundaries. I would've grabbed my baby back and started yelling. Then packed up left.
post #5 of 60
My mom nursed my son - without milk - I think she'd take drugs to relactate if I let her - she tried to hide it from me - but whatever no harm done and she was trying to get him to sleep......she nursed my sister until she was 6
post #6 of 60
If this were me, my issue would be 1.G-ma didn't get my permission. 2. The baby may have gotten frustrated that nothing was coming out of grannies breast :
post #7 of 60
While I agree that grandma should have checked with mom to make sure it was cool... I love the idea of cross-generational nursing!
post #8 of 60
a little strange.. but kind of loving and thoughtful too? I really don't know how I'd react to anyone trying to nurse my baby.. whether they had milk or not.. I probably would like to be asked first though!
post #9 of 60
Quote:
Originally Posted by beansmommy View Post
While I agree that grandma should have checked with mom to make sure it was cool... I love the idea of cross-generational nursing!
Me, too. Plus having babysat a breastfeeding baby as a teen who wouldn't take the bottle and could not be consoled I totally understand, I do think asking is best, but I would guess it was not planned either, the baby wasn't happy with the bottle and so she tried making him happy.
post #10 of 60
I don't get the impression that mom was too far from grandma while this was going on, in that case yes I wouldn't be happy about it. Nursing was an awsome private bonding experience for my DD & I, not to say there weren't plenty of times when I wished my DH could lactate!
Now if mom had been away and there was no consoling the babe that might be different but I didn't get the impression that was what happened. Seemed like granny just did it to do it because she wanted to without thought to what mom & dad felt about the situation, if that was the case there is that potential for long term disrespect of their parenting in all areas. That would upset me far more than anything else.
post #11 of 60
I would have been very upset.
post #12 of 60
Quote:

I would be most concerned with my son having nipple confusion — what if he had rejected the mother's breast after having been introduced to another woman's bosoms?
ummm - I don't think the author really understands the term nipple confusion. It's not confusion between 2 REAL nipples it's confusion between an artificial nipple and a real one.

I need some more context in this article. Is gramma from "the old world?" Was she raised on mums and grandmums teets?

And how do we know there really wasn't any milk there? My friend could squeeze a few drops out years after her youngest finally weaned. Hey, she may still can for all I know. Maybe all that time around baby started granny's milk-maker up again.
post #13 of 60
I think this is totally cool and totally natural, and would allow (and have allowed, in the past) others of any age to nurse my son.
post #14 of 60
The nipple confusion thing gave me a chuckle! I wouldn't say it's gross, that sounds harsh. But it would bother me that it was done without respect for the parents.
post #15 of 60
I would be upset too. Grandma didn't try to calm him/put him to sleep/whatever, she just tried to nurse him for herself. I think this is selfish.
post #16 of 60
Grandma should have asked first. Personally, I probably would have said yes if I'd been asked that, but many other moms would have said no.
post #17 of 60
Part of me thinks it's cool, and part of me doesn't like it. In theory, I would be okay with it -- if the grandmother had asked first. Not asking first is just totally not cool. In theory, I know that in some cultures, women nurse each other's babies and that it's normal. In theory, it sure could be a nice way for a grandmother to bond with the baby, and at least in my case, both of my babies' grandmothers were successful breastfeeders and know the importance of bf'ing, both for nutrition and comfort/bonding. In theory, it would make sense that a grandmother who was baby-sitting (not that the one in the story was) might try nursing as a way of comforting an upset baby when mom wasn't around.

In reality, though, nursing my babies is my privilege and mine alone. So well mentally I'd be okay with it, emotionally, I don't think I would be.
post #18 of 60
I've nursed a few other kids and my kids have been nursed by others, but only in situations where I wasn't around (or the mom wasn't) and the baby needed fed or comforted.

I would have been annoyed about not asking.

And honestly, nursing w/ no milk is freaking HELL. I wouldn't do it for shits and giggles.
post #19 of 60
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ellien C View Post
ummm - I don't think the author really understands the term nipple confusion. It's not confusion between 2 REAL nipples it's confusion between an artificial nipple and a real one.

I need some more context in this article. Is gramma from "the old world?" Was she raised on mums and grandmums teets?

And how do we know there really wasn't any milk there? My friend could squeeze a few drops out years after her youngest finally weaned. Hey, she may still can for all I know. Maybe all that time around baby started granny's milk-maker up again.
Thank you. This is exactly what I thought.
post #20 of 60
I would absolutely have freaked out if my MIL tried to nurse my kids. In fact I even hate it when she jokes around about my DD trying to find her nipple when she's holding her. Now if my child was being cared of by a trusted friend who was lactating and I was not around and my child was hungry, I would be okay with her being nursed by my friend. I would also be okay with it in an emergency situation by a stranger. But yeah, we'd have some serious problems if I turned around and found my MIL with her nipple in my DD's mouth.
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