I can't find the original column where she told a prospective grandmother it was ok to ask her bf DIL to leave the room to nurse... but here's my letter to her about it:
Dear Amy,
Your recent advice to the grandmother who wrote about her intention to relegate a breastfeeding mother to a back bedroom to protect the feelings of those who were “uncomfortable” with breastfeeding was terrible.
The relatively low rates of breastfeeding (especially for babies 12 months and older) in the United States represent a failure to give children the best start to life. Breastfeeding has a life-long impact on both mother and child, in terms of healthy immune system, fewer allergies, and healthier adult weight for breastfed children (to name just a few) and lowered cancer rates and better bone density for mothers who have breastfed. Discouraging a woman from breastfeeding (which requiring her to leave the room every time her child needs to nurse certainly does) supports a prejudice at the expense of women and their children.
The grandmother should support and encourage the new mother in her choice to breastfeed and make her welcome wherever she chooses to nurse. If other family members or friends are uncomfortable, they can either leave the room themselves or re-examine their prejudice against breastfeeding. I have breastfed my children into toddlerhood discreetly and without fanfare in any number of places: church, the zoo, the playground, grocery stores, in the offices of my graduate school faculty, the library, and in the presence of my husband’s elderly grandparents. When my first child was a newborn, they were clearly not accustomed to being around nursing mothers and likely expected me to cloister myself when I nursed. Instead, I nursed publicly, using a baby sling or a blanket for additional coverage. I was always discreet but never excused myself from the room. By the time my second child was a toddler, they had literally ceased to notice when he nursed; they didn’t see breastfeeding, they only saw their bright, sweet great-grandchildren.
Prejudice against breastfeeding discourages women from nursing and has a significant negative impact on children’s and women’s health. Rather than honoring a prejudice which could harm her grandchild, the woman who wrote to you should do everything she can to make the new mother comfortable and should demonstrate to her friends and family that times have changed. Amy, I hope you rethink your answer.
Sincerely,
[Penelope's IRL name]
Dear Amy,
Your recent advice to the grandmother who wrote about her intention to relegate a breastfeeding mother to a back bedroom to protect the feelings of those who were “uncomfortable” with breastfeeding was terrible.
The relatively low rates of breastfeeding (especially for babies 12 months and older) in the United States represent a failure to give children the best start to life. Breastfeeding has a life-long impact on both mother and child, in terms of healthy immune system, fewer allergies, and healthier adult weight for breastfed children (to name just a few) and lowered cancer rates and better bone density for mothers who have breastfed. Discouraging a woman from breastfeeding (which requiring her to leave the room every time her child needs to nurse certainly does) supports a prejudice at the expense of women and their children.
The grandmother should support and encourage the new mother in her choice to breastfeed and make her welcome wherever she chooses to nurse. If other family members or friends are uncomfortable, they can either leave the room themselves or re-examine their prejudice against breastfeeding. I have breastfed my children into toddlerhood discreetly and without fanfare in any number of places: church, the zoo, the playground, grocery stores, in the offices of my graduate school faculty, the library, and in the presence of my husband’s elderly grandparents. When my first child was a newborn, they were clearly not accustomed to being around nursing mothers and likely expected me to cloister myself when I nursed. Instead, I nursed publicly, using a baby sling or a blanket for additional coverage. I was always discreet but never excused myself from the room. By the time my second child was a toddler, they had literally ceased to notice when he nursed; they didn’t see breastfeeding, they only saw their bright, sweet great-grandchildren.
Prejudice against breastfeeding discourages women from nursing and has a significant negative impact on children’s and women’s health. Rather than honoring a prejudice which could harm her grandchild, the woman who wrote to you should do everything she can to make the new mother comfortable and should demonstrate to her friends and family that times have changed. Amy, I hope you rethink your answer.
Sincerely,
[Penelope's IRL name]
: I'll be looking for these letters in print!
) but a hungry baby needs fed!
