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still bf at 8.....

post #1 of 74
Thread Starter 
Has anyone seen this?

This is the longest I have seen a child still bf. Does anyone here have similiar experience? I am new to the concept of child let weaning, and I have seen 4 or 5 as the norm, but never 8....just wondering what you all have experienced.
post #2 of 74
I think if you look around this board, you'll find a thread for moms who have breastfed into later years. I know I've seen as late as 7 on here!
post #3 of 74
I saw the video too, and the child still BFing is actually 7 still. That's the longest I think I've ever heard of, and I'd be interested in hearing about other people's experiences too. I'm just curious about how that works for each family. I'm sure there are threads, anyone have any good links to them?
I've thought for years I'd encourage BFing til 4 yrs, but don't know of anyone IRL who's gone past that. I think I'd be open to it personally if it was still something the child and I enjoyed together til whenever they're done. I have faith in my AP skills and know that my kids will get all their BFing needs met well before they get to college, now my DP on the other hand...
post #4 of 74
So, in the first 7 pages of comments I only found two that were even remotely supportive of the mother and daughter's relationship. It was so sad, I can't believe how much we sexualize human breasts but cow tit is okay?!!? Doesn't make any sense! My DS is still BFing at almost 4 and I don't really see him quitting anytime too soon. . .I love to joke that we will still be doing it in college:
post #5 of 74
I loved this video clip. A friend sent it to me a while ago.

I was actually breastfed until I was 5, and I remember nursing fondly. When I watched this video, it brought back some memories I had forgotten I ever had. I liked, especially, how the girls did artwork that included mommy's breasts. So cute!

I know 8 could seem extreme, and it must be a topic that even pro-breastfeeding women have trouble swallowing. We certainly need the support of our partners and of other women!!

I say as long as both people are still happy and enjoying the situation, GO FOR IT!!
post #6 of 74
Thread Starter 
I didn't read the comments, but really I was curious about the child in general. My 5 year old boy is really affectionate and sensitive (not big "boy" qualities) and I feel like socially its often a little dicey to navigate and I was curious about things like how did she relate to other 7 year olds, did she share it with her peers, does she ever request in public, are there rules about where/when....things like that...Also part of me wonders if at some point there isn't usually some other "thing" that starts to provide the bond to mom, and if that transition doesn't happen the same way for all kids. Like when kids get older does it become the only way to get mom to slow down and focus only on them? hmmm....just thinking "outloud" here...great to hear other insights.
post #7 of 74
I've seen that video before, and although I have no problems with it, I could not see myself nursing a child that age. I too wonder about all the questions that mariag asked...hmmm...
post #8 of 74
Those Youtube comments made me sad. I don't nurse my 7 year old, but she is very interested when I nurse her baby sister. I have thought about pumping some and giving it to her.
post #9 of 74
It's with in the natural weaning age as far as I've read. The comments are bad but I expected that.
post #10 of 74
Thread Starter 
texas mom, my almost 3 and 5 year old are interested when I nurse dd (10 weeks) and have been walking around nursing their various dolls and animals, and see lots of nursing with friends and family, which I love. But one reason I was wondering about the girl is that when either of them has expressed interest I have always said they could try if they wanted, and they have even gone so far as to lie in my lap, but then don't actually want to drink. To me, and my personal situation it seems like they just want to be sure it was possible ,more that they were testing our bond, not really that they wanted to nurse or wanted milk per say. That is one reason I was musing about the girl...
post #11 of 74
My oldest recently weaned (with my help, not true CLW) at 5.5. He's very popular and socially well-adjusted. I don't think 7 is too old to nurse. I've heard of children nursing longer.
Those girls do seem a bit odd, but I doubt nursing has anything to do with it.
post #12 of 74
there is a huge difference between a continuous nursing relationship that goes to term and offering a weaned child a chance to nurse again. i'm not trying to be snarky, but it seems a little bit like you are insinuating that the 8 year old is not having her needs met in other ways. wonder away. the piece was edited up the ying-yang, no doubt to make the girls look odd, and so much so that the mother has posted online separately the entirety of the interview so it seems less biased. i am so tired - like i feel literally physically tired - of coming here to the CLW forum and the discussion centers around someone's conjecture of another mama/child pair's reasons for nursing past 4 or 5 which seem to be the "acceptable" limit. i'm nursing MY 5 year old and MY 1 year old and i, personally, have no interest in delineating any age limits or speculating about anyone else's reasons for nursing "too" long. it has been suggested to me at various times that i am still nursing because i am too permissive, because i have a high-needs child, because i didn't graduate from college, because she has food allergies, because i have no limits, because i can't let go of it, because all weaning even CLW is dependent on parental encouragement that i am not giving, because of the age spacing between my children, because i am lazy.
i am currently so frustrated by a lack of support that i don't even want to spell out here, or in real life, the multitude of reasons that i still nurse my daughter. i want to keep it a secret so that it doesn't get picked apart and wondered over.
this sounds so angry; i don't mean it to. but i am frustrated. i want to trust that all mamas are doing their best. i don't always, but i want to so i am starting to practice it. so wonder away - but, mama, you will never know. i have turned inward, away from my friends, away from this forum, even, to quietly wonder about my own children and relish in my own journey and do what works for me. and my child is not lacking in some element that "drives" her to nurse. in fact, in my home, i would say that she is so supported that she feels comfortable nursing even though it is not the "cultural norm" (her words).
motherhood is becoming isolating for me all over again.
where you are at in your journey an 8 year old nursing needs an explanation.
i honor that.
but be aware that your fellow travelers are all over the freaking map. they are joyfully formula feeding a newborn baby that they never even knew they wanted and they are nursing developmentally disabled 11 year olds and weeping at what they want for them but cannot have. and they are quiet, not talking about how effortless and normal it is to allow nursing to continue as long as both parties delight in it regardless of the wagging fingers looking on from the outside.

and honor them.
post #13 of 74
Aileen, . I support you.
post #14 of 74
i support you too, Aileen.

it's beautiful when you trust your child's need.
post #15 of 74
loved your post Aileen. i would be happy if my DD nursed to eight. after all i have read about primates, i really do think the natural age of weaning is around 7/8.
yesterday i met a mama who nurses her four year old (and in public!). i was just about bowing at her feet and telling her how proud i was to have met her. it is because of this board that i even learned about clw and it is what my i will be doing with DD and any other wee ones i may be blessed with.
post #16 of 74
Originally Posted by mariag View Post
Has anyone seen this?

This is the longest I have seen a child still bf. Does anyone here have similiar experience? I am new to the concept of child let weaning, and I have seen 4 or 5 as the norm, but never 8....just wondering what you all have experienced.
My son loves that video!! I weaned him when he turned 4, but he says he wishes he could nurse that long.
post #17 of 74
I love that video too. I think it is incredibly touching to see that little girl still nursing and to see what fond memories the older daughter has of nursing. We should all be so lucky to be able to give such gifts to our children!
post #18 of 74
Thread Starter 

thanks for your feedback and I'm sorry if my wondering offended you in some way. Obviously bf relationships are all unique and special in their own right and I was not questioning that. And I completely understand what its like to have to parent without support, I think all moms have to go through this in some way whether its bf, using a midwife, cosleeping, gentle decipline, the list is unending...

That said I have had to wean both my children during pregnancy b/c of preterm labor problems and so no I don't know what its like but actually I was hoping I might someday know which is the reason I posted the question. Since I may not have another child it might be longer this time and I was looking for feedback from others that might know more. I do not have first hand experience with clw nor do any of my friends and so when this video was sent to me it brought up questions for me. I did not pose my questions to question the mom in the video, you, or anyone else in particular, I asked b/c they are questions I have about clw and I'm not aware of a better forum to ask them in. If there is one please let me know.

I am not insinuating the 8 year old isn't getting anything, rather I was questioning how complex it is that some children are clearly ready to end the relationship well before 8 and was curious, from the child's point why that might be. Not saying the mom doesn't meet her needs, but that its interesting some children obviously shift away from that relationship earlier than others and wondering why that might be. Again, kudos to the mom for putting it out there, but I think its unfair to have something like that out there and then be frustrated if it sparks discussion or brings up questions for me in my own journey. And I thinks its a bit unfair to insinuate me having questions means I am callous to other moms or to her in particular. I honor her, as I honor all moms, and not only for how they are choosing to feed their children, its a difficult road no matter what. Best to you and I wish you the best.

Thank you all for the feedback and best to all...
post #19 of 74
I have seen the video before, and thought it was sweet, but that the editing was focussed on making them look odd.
Is there a link to the unedited version you mentioned Aileen? I would love to see it, so would my 4 year old. She swears she is never going to wean. (then again, I am not sure I should show her this )
post #20 of 74
a similar thread pops up here often. i find it sad that so many (not saying anyone in this thread) find it disturbing. seems completely normal to me, given the right child and family.
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