still bf at 8..... - Page 4

[Maiasaura]

i didn't see the video. i think it's probably the same one i saw a couple of years ago, two british girls? painting pictures?

anyway. i can't see ds wanting to nurse at 12 or 13. he's already tapered off so much, i get surprised when he asks. and most of the time now i say no. i put him off, distract him, cause i'm not much feeling like it anymore, though if you had asked me two years ago, or even one, i'd probably have answered differently.

i won't cut him off altogether, but i don't indulge him every time either. i think that depends on the time and the circumstance-- like, when he asks, what seems to prompt him-- if i'm getting dressed or getting ready to shower, i'm no way going to let him nurse if it's just because he saw nekkid boobies and is being impulsive. but if it's on a weekend and we've coslept (we're weaning from that, too) and it's a lazy morning and we're snuggling in bed and he asks, i probably would let him. i very rarely offer anymore, but believe it or not, every now and then (i'm talking weeks between) i still feel full and need to have that relieved. but rarely.

oh, whoops. you asked about development. nope, i don't see any downsides. my child at least (have no others to compare, as far as nursing) is very intelligent, very articulate, is "normal" on the scales of physical and mental and emotional development. is there a specific concern that you had that i didn't cover here? he's attached enough and independent enough. i don't see any abnormal developments here either.

does that help?

pamela

[mammal_mama]

Originally Posted by HisBeautifulWife

My question is, what if your kid didn't want to stop breastfeeding? Based off of that video, it didn't seem like the mom was going to stop anytime soon; so if the kid turns 10,11,12, 13....do you (and by you I mean anyone) see any downsides to breastfeeding at that age in terms of the child's development?

Nope. And do you (general you) see any downsides to stopping breastfeeding before that age in terms of the child's development?

[fruitful womb]

I give up. Those comments are a waste of time. They're screaming,
"Its SEXUAL!" It takes a sick mind to actually think that way. I just realized, while they're accusing mothers of being sexual, (when they're not) its REALLY THEM who are!

And, all my good comments keep disappearing.:

[Rainbow2911]

Originally Posted by staceychev

Great conversation to listen in on as I struggle with my nursing 3YO.

Anyway, to address weirdness... am I really the only one who thinks it's weird and somewhat wrong for a parent to post a video of their nursing 7 or 8YO on YouTube? I'm sorry--I don't post any videos of my child online in the public universe and certainly not any that could come back to haunt her at a later date. It's all well and good that this video is trying to normalize BFing--great for that--but I can't help but think that this child didn't have a voice in her sudden celebrity. It just seems wrong and somewhat exploitative to me.

It was part of a documentary on tv here about full term breastfeeding. Here is an article she wrote about it.

[jul511riv]

I almost didn't watch the vid, but I'm glad I did. Her daughter looked so happy...and nursing just like my baby! Way to go mama! I support you!

[clutterbug]

Originally Posted by jul511riv

Her daughter looked so happy...and nursing just like my baby! Way to go mama! I support you!

That was my thought, too...I thought to myself that I wish my kids would have a nice looking latch like that (I have upper lip-rolling, short frenulum babies!)! LOL!

[HisBeautifulWife]

Originally Posted by mercyn

is there a specific concern that you had that i didn't cover here? he's attached enough and independent enough. i don't see any abnormal developments here either.

does that help?

Thanks so much for answering.

I guess I had the breastfeeding at 13 in mind when I asked that question.

I was wondering if it would effect them in the future, in terms of relationships or other aspects, because there is a big difference between 8 and 13.

And I don't mean the kids would be too attached, but kids do get sexual urges at 13 and curiosity arises. I'm just wondering if (unbeknown to the loving mom) that line would get crossed as the kid turns into a teenager. How do you know when it turns from nourishment and bonding to I'm curious about such and such and this is more fun than I thought? Would you even think that your kid would think that at the age of 13?

I'm not trying to pervert anything but kids do get curious and I can remember being that age.

Then the mom in the video said something like "well its not like I'm going to do it in college" which led me to believe that maybe she'd continue until college? Do kids really need that kind of bonding at the age of 17?

*puts on my flame proof attire*

I'm not judging, I'm just trying to understand.

Originally Posted by
mammal_mama

Nope. And do you (general you) see any downsides to stopping breastfeeding before that age in terms of the child's development?

I respect everyones right to choose what they think is best. But no, I don't see any downsides to stopping breastfeeding before the age of 9.

If there are, I'm open to hearing opinions on that.

[mammal_mama]

Originally Posted by HisBeautifulWife

And I don't mean the kids would be too attached, but kids do get sexual urges at 13 and curiosity arises. I'm just wondering if (unbeknown to the loving mom) that line would get crossed as the kid turns into a teenager. How do you know when it turns from nourishment and bonding to I'm curious about such and such and this is more fun than I thought? Would you even think that your kid would think that at the age of 13?

My thoughts would be that a child who gets to nurse as long as s/he wants to, would be way less likely to sexualize breasts than a child who can't even remember breastfeeding. At least from what I've heard -- and please, I know there's not just one. singular. pre-industrialized culture, so I'm not trying to over-generalize here -- but what I've heard is that in cultures where breastfeeding is allowed to continue for years, breasts are not viewed as objects of sexual-lust or sexual-foreplay (by men or by anyone), but as feeding-vessels.

[Maiasaura]

hmm, well, hislovingwife, i guess i was just trying to cover all possible questions when i posted

i agree with mammal_mama. i think it's very possible that my ds will not sexualize breasts so much as think of them as nurturing feeding vessels, and hopefully since he's old enough now to actually remember nursing, he will encourage his future mother of HIS children to breastfeed! : (ooh, i just had to stick that new smiley in there somewhere!)

i go with kathy dettwyler's position that once all the milk teeth are gone, and the adult teeth in, it's pretty much weaning time. i mean i do believe they self wean long before 13. i think the oldest documented nursling was, what, 9? mine is 7 years 5 months, and he's pretty well almost done. like i said, he nips a little snack (and i do mean little-- less than a minute all told) about every two weeks or so now. i can keep y'all posted on his progress (regress? ) if you like!

you know, i have let on to some people (like i said, the right ones) that he still nurses now and then, and i haven't gotten the flak i thought i would. i've gotten huge surprise, but that's the most extreme reaction i've seen. i usually get pretty interesting and enlightening conversations as a result. i guess i hope to be the change i want to see in the world , one mama at a time. or one dad. or whoever. since my kid is on the very high end of the curve for nursing, i might as well help the world with it!
i must say, i do love the support and the lack of derision. especially from you mamas thank you!

pamela

[staceychev]

Originally Posted by Rainbow2911

It was part of a documentary on tv here about full term breastfeeding. Here is an article she wrote about it.

Thanks for that--I'll take a look at her article.

With regard to comparing this to NIP--that doesn't live on web servers forever. Not the same.

Also, with the girl being cool with it--I disagree that an 8-year has the cognitive development to understand the ramifications of being in that film and on the net. I really am not questioning the BFing here at all (at least I think I'm not). It was suggested to me that I get a baby agent for my daughter when she was tiny and have her try out for print ads and commercials--I decided against it for similar reasons. I don't think it's fair for me to insert her so overtly into the permanent public domain without her informed and rational consent.

[loveingmom22]

personnal decision

As a full term nursing mother. I feel it is a personnal family decision on when your children need to wean..be it 2 yrs. or beyond. As most mothers on this site know..You can't keep a child at the breast unless they want to be there.

I love seeing other mom letting there children take the lead on stopping. It is a small amount of time to give your child comfort or for food.
I miss the nursing times with my children. I have fond memories of them nursing and being close to me.

keep up the good work and don't let the outside world hang up ...stop you from nursing.

[kacymoose]

Originally Posted by staceychev

Thanks for that--I'll take a look at her article.

With regard to comparing this to NIP--that doesn't live on web servers forever. Not the same.

Also, with the girl being cool with it--I disagree that an 8-year has the cognitive development to understand the ramifications of being in that film and on the net. I really am not questioning the BFing here at all (at least I think I'm not). It was suggested to me that I get a baby agent for my daughter when she was tiny and have her try out for print ads and commercials--I decided against it for similar reasons. I don't think it's fair for me to insert her so overtly into the permanent public domain without her informed and rational consent.

What ramifications do you think will come to this child because she was on first a news program, then a "you tube" video nursing as a 7 year old?

[mammal_mama]

I just read the article: I like what she said about dropping the phrase "extended breastfeeding," and simply referring to child-led weaning as "full-term breastfeeding," which is really what it is.

[neostudded]

Hey, I didnt read sall the replys here, I just want to say I see nothign wrong with it at all, it seems perfectly normal to me and I like the mother she is wicked .

I was breastfed for five years-not long enough IMO