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Little girls in heels - Page 2

post #21 of 113
Ds1 dresses like a little man a lot. He loves polo shirts and dress pants and thinks a buzz cut is the best haircut. The other half of his time is naked.

The heels bother especially when I see a two year old in a mini skirt, halter top and heels. The short dress shoes are cute. It makes me uncomfortable since I want children to focus on having fun.
post #22 of 113
Another mom of all boys chiming in here, so take my opinionf or what it's worth. I agree, it drives me BONKERS to see little girls in heels. It's so bad for the feet, first of all - why the heck would you put your growing child's foot in something that is bad for the feet?! Besides, kids are meant to play, and it's not easy to run and play in heels.
post #23 of 113
Quote:
Originally Posted by Village Mama View Post
I completely " get" the dress up reasoning... I do cringe though when we are at the playground and I see little girls 4 and up in wedge sandles and heeled boots and shoes trying to play on the playground. It is just so impractical that the kids can't even play!!!It seems so foolish to me... I do have two boys though. I haven't been there, so maybe I am just not getting it?!
Exact same here!
post #24 of 113
Totally gross. I'm with you.

I am all about sending my kid to the park in a tutu, because it doesn't restrict her movement or prevent her from playing. Anything goes playing dress-up around the house. But clothes and shoes that prevent playing (special occasions excepted) are so not cool. That goes for boys too -- I've seen these shoes that feel like concrete, and I wonder how much fun that is for little boys to run and play in.
post #25 of 113
I guess I'm really not getting moms of boys picking on little girls' clothes and feeling entitled to an opinion on them. It's not like they are public property.

When I see it out in public, I don't feel like I know whether the kids are picking them to play with.....so I wouldn't think to judge it.
post #26 of 113
Drives me batty. Especially when I see a twig thin ankle bending and the poor kid falling or nearly falling because someone thinks it's cute to put them in grown-up shoes.

Of course, I've also noticed it's usually someone who wears heels with everything, whether appropriate or not, who lets their child stumble around like this. I've actually seen women wearing fancy dress shoes with overalls before.
post #27 of 113
I am a tomboy and a geek. I wear no shoes at all and if I must I wear sandals or sneakers. I think I own 1 pair if heels that are hidden in the back of my closet somewhere. My oldest DD is a princess. I dressed her in hippy patchwork and pants when she was a baby cause thats what I thought was comfy and cute. She started picking out her own clothes around 2 years of age and she has progressed to almost all dresses and skirts; preferably frilly, pink and as girly as possible. Not my style at all. Her current favorite pair of shoes is high heeled and black and very very girly. I try not to be too imposing on clothes, but I do insist she wear clothes outside the house, shorts or stockings if the skirt is too short, a shirt underneath if its cut too low, and she can't wear heels to play.

Am I a bad mom? Am I imposing my shoe fetish on my daughter? Am I sexualizing her? The answer to all of those is NO.

Just because I choose to be leniant and allow her to wear her favorite pair of shoes to school and avoid huge meltdowns (she is very sensitive about clothes and has often worn the same darn thing for weeks) does not mean I or she is bad in anyway. Yes I know they are bad for her posture, yes I know she can't play as easily in them. I choose to allow her to wear them occasionally. Judge me all you want.
post #28 of 113
I agree that shoes with heels are totally inappropriate for little girls. HOWEVER, as the mom of children with BIG feet (ds is 7 and is currently wearing adult size 4-5 - i.e. women's size 5, dd is 4 and wearing toddlers size 11 1/2 or 12), do know it's hard to find shoes sometimes that are age appropriate!

Dd has a pair of mary janes that have about a one inch heel. I've hidden them because she was not able to run and play in them as I liked. She loved them. I bought them on e-bay and so didn't notice the heel, but then went to Target and noticed that ALL the shoes in size 11-12 have that heel. 1" isn't huge, but it's too big, IMO. AND they sell shoes with even higher heels for her size :
post #29 of 113
They're lousy for foot development and posture. I definitely won't be getting my little gal heels.
post #30 of 113
Quote:
Originally Posted by Peony View Post
I can NOT wear heels either, unless I want to break an ankle. I don't like heels on children, the sandals with the large wedge heels drive me nuts. I saw some the other day in a toddler size 5. : :
I agree and it drives me batty. DD is 4 and I have such a hard time finding cute sandals and dress shoes for her because everything around here has a kitten heel on it.... That just does not work for me. She is too young for such things. I have no problem with her playing dress up at home with heels but I see some of the girls up at the grade school wearing mules with 2 in kitten heels and I just cringe.
post #31 of 113
Quote:
Originally Posted by LynnS6 View Post
I agree that shoes with heels are totally inappropriate for little girls. HOWEVER, as the mom of children with BIG feet (ds is 7 and is currently wearing adult size 4-5 - i.e. women's size 5, dd is 4 and wearing toddlers size 11 1/2 or 12), do know it's hard to find shoes sometimes that are age appropriate!

Dd has a pair of mary janes that have about a one inch heel. I've hidden them because she was not able to run and play in them as I liked. She loved them. I bought them on e-bay and so didn't notice the heel, but then went to Target and noticed that ALL the shoes in size 11-12 have that heel. 1" isn't huge, but it's too big, IMO. AND they sell shoes with even higher heels for her size :
Exactly my DD is 3 and wears the exact same size as your dd and it is a pain to find normal shoes!
post #32 of 113
Quote:
Originally Posted by Epiphany View Post
Just because I choose to be leniant and allow her to wear her favorite pair of shoes to school and avoid huge meltdowns (she is very sensitive about clothes and has often worn the same darn thing for weeks) does not mean I or she is bad in anyway. Yes I know they are bad for her posture, yes I know she can't play as easily in them. I choose to allow her to wear them occasionally. Judge me all you want.
No -- but I would try find a pair of shoes that's more appropriate and easier to run in. I'm a non-frilly person too, and dd has spent much of the last 6 months in tutu/leotard. I too let my dd choose her clothing. Some days that means a tutu, some days it's the green & purple striped shorts, paired with the orange halloween shirt, one pink and one purple sock and the red sparkly shoes (see below). As you can see in my pp, my daughter's been running around in shoes that I don't care for either. My real complaint is that she can't be as active as SHE wants to be when wearing inappropriate shoes. My solution is to make sure that my dd won't have shoes with a heel in the future.

I would recommend these shoes -- they meet many of the criteria that kid who's into sparkles, tutus and "girly" stuff like, but they have no heel, and are great for running and climbing. Dd has the red version of these shoes, and we're going to have to replace them because the toes have worn through.
post #33 of 113
I don't buy them. They have one set of "dressy" shoes and they do have these little heels on them.

However, most of the time I expect and insist that they wear shoes that they can do stuff in. Gym, etc.

The deal is, that when they get old enough to remember to switch shoes for gym and going outside for recess, and the like then they can have "THOSE" type of shoes.

Seeing little girls literally trying to walk around in ridiculous shoes bugs the heck out of me. Not for the "adult" content, but because they are CHILDREN and they need to be able to MOVE!

I swear to God that manufacturers intentionally don't make outdoor clothing and shoes for girls that want to be cute. You have the option of gender neutral (fine if that suits your children) and boyish and nothing for girly-girls at all. Like there isn't some in between of hooker boots for preschoolers or Brand-Name-Disney-Dora-Barbie-Whatever Poorly Made clothing and shoes, and just a cute pair of runners that is well made for playing!

(don't get me on the dark, violent, scary, monotone, enforcement in boys clothing and toys. I may burst a blood vessel.)
post #34 of 113
I do not like girls' clothing that is sexualized, provocative, or that promotes little girls growing up too fast.

Perhaps I am "imposing my hang ups" on my DD, as a few other posters suggested, but in our house unacceptable clothing are things with characters on them, brand names that turn my little one into a billboard, clothes with slogans on them like 'cutie pie,' 'born diva', etc etc, high heels, any shorts or sweats with writing on the rear end, and any clothing that seems to promote sexuality - such as a half shirt.

I have a very hard time finding what I classify as "normal" shoes - everything seems to have a character or a rhinestone, or a heel, particularly as DD gets older (she also has huge feet!). I tend to order lands end shoes because they are classic and simple, and heel and glitter-free. We don't have a lot of $$ (and lands end is certainly pricier than, say, a Target shoe), but my mother - who is all too happy to see her granddaughter being kept away from the heels, characters and rhinestones! - springs for them, thankfully.

DD often wears very flouncy, fancy dresses, but always with a sturdy shoe like a croc or a lavender land's end mary jane sneaker, the latter of which satisifes her need for the girly and my need to see her in a safe, age-appropriate shoe.

(By the way, she has plenty of high heels in her dress-up trunk!)
post #35 of 113
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Epiphany View Post
Am I a bad mom? Am I imposing my shoe fetish on my daughter? Am I sexualizing her? The answer to all of those is NO.

Just because I choose to be leniant and allow her to wear her favorite pair of shoes to school and avoid huge meltdowns (she is very sensitive about clothes and has often worn the same darn thing for weeks) does not mean I or she is bad in anyway. Yes I know they are bad for her posture, yes I know she can't play as easily in them. I choose to allow her to wear them occasionally. Judge me all you want.
No one is judging you. You can dress your daughter in whatever you please, but it doesn't mean that I or anyone else has to like it. You have to like it. She has to like it. No one else. No one says that you're bad, and certainly no one said that your daughter was bad.
post #36 of 113
Most dressy shoes for little girls have some sort of heel (about an inch or less). My children each have a pair like that. Of course, they were only worn for Christmas photo's but still... if the kids wanted to wear them more often, I would have no problems with it.
post #37 of 113
I generally don't like heels for young girls. When i was growing up, heels were a right of passage. I remember my grandmother bought my first pair for me when I was 11 - and I was crushed because they were way too small!!! lol It was probably another year or so before I had another pair. They were only ever worn for dressy occasions such as going to church or a wedding - never for play!

I buy mostly soft star shoes for my 3 year old www.softstarshoes.com so I guess you could call me a shoe snob. I don't like shoes from Target or even most Stride Rite shoes because I think they are too stiff for little feed to move properly in. Just my opinion...

I see nothing wrong with a 1 in wedge type heel that's easy to walk in on a girl for something like a wedding or other fancy event. I do have a problem with them for every day wear.

Dd wanted flipflops this year (but her feet are too narrow for all of them) and I was appalled that many of them have higher wedge type heels. I think that's awful to let a kid wear something like that on a regular basis because it is harmful to them. I know how awful it is to have back problems...

I also don't like the fact that certain stores clothing and a lot of shoes are made to look so grown up. To me, little girls ought to look like little girls, not like women. I see a lot of cute clothing that I don't buy for my 2 yr old because it would be perfectly appropriate on a 10yr old (such as jean skirt, turtleneck, tights and flat boots) I try to dress her in more babyish type things. But to me that's a personal preference. I see nothing wrong with an outfit like the above.

On the other hand, a lot of clothing to me is way too sexy for a child. Why dress a child in clothing that was originally meant to accentuate a woman's sexuality such as a thong underwear or string bikini with obvious bra type top? To me that sexualizes a pre-pubescent child in a way that is offensive. They aren't sexy beings, don't try to make them look sexy is my thought. Ugh! To me, bikini underwear or a more modest 2 piece is different.

I also view sexuality differently than some. To me, it's a gift to be offered on one's wedding night. So we try to teach our daughter that certain parts of her body are special and private and that's why they stay covered or whatever. But there is no shame over them or embarrassement by them. It's a fine line and I know a lot of people who believe as I do about sexuality are not comfortable with their bodies. We are trying to raise dd to be comfortable but also to hold her body in respect in a way that will encourage her to save her sexuality. Not a popular opinion... I know. And I'm not judging others who have different opinions. Just saying, because it does affect what she wears.
post #38 of 113
The point I was trying to make is that a little girl wearing kitten heals on occasion doesn't mean that her mother is imposing her own idea of beauty on her child. Nor does it mean that the child will be deformed for life. My DD wears her heels to school often and has a pair of shoes to change into if they play outside or go for walks. She also wears them sometimes when we go shopping. This doesn't mean she wears them to play in. When we go to the park, play outside, go for a hike, etc, she doesn't wear them. I agree that they are not my favorite shoes for her to wear. But I also don't think they are a big deal for occasional wear. I am only mildly restrictive when it comes to clothing. I don't want her to wear revealing or age inapropriate things, I just choose not to fight this one battle. I even let her go out without a coat in the winter. (she has always realized rather quickly that the coat and hat I offered before were a good idea after only a minute or so. )

I do see everyone's point about being able to mark a milestone, avoid the whole sexy clothing on little kids thing, not impose our cute ideals, and be safe while playing. These just don't apply to us, and maybe not to every little girl you see in heels either. Well, maybe the poor kids trying to climb at the park.
post #39 of 113
Quote:
Originally Posted by LynnS6 View Post
I agree that shoes with heels are totally inappropriate for little girls. HOWEVER, as the mom of children with BIG feet (ds is 7 and is currently wearing adult size 4-5 - i.e. women's size 5, dd is 4 and wearing toddlers size 11 1/2 or 12), do know it's hard to find shoes sometimes that are age appropriate!

Dd has a pair of mary janes that have about a one inch heel. I've hidden them because she was not able to run and play in them as I liked. She loved them. I bought them on e-bay and so didn't notice the heel, but then went to Target and noticed that ALL the shoes in size 11-12 have that heel. 1" isn't huge, but it's too big, IMO. AND they sell shoes with even higher heels for her size :
My 10 year old has worn a size 9 for 2 school years now, and I have no problem.

And I'm in Hawaii, where it's damn near impossible to get anything.

It's simple, you just don't buy it if it's inappropriate. And, if a relative sends something inappropriate, it gets tossed.

post #40 of 113
I personally have no issues with little girls in heels...as long as the heel is very small and is only worn occasionally. My older daughter is very girly, always has been, and picks out her own shoes. Some shoes that she chooses have heels on them, and as long as she doesn't wear them everyday (I do worry about her feet getting affected) then I'm fine. Modesty is important to me and I won't let my daughters wear things that are overly sexual, but for me I don't view heels as sexual. JMO.
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