Little girls in heels - Page 3

[lovemyfamily6]

Originally Posted by Daniel's Kitty

Ds1 dresses like a little man a lot. He loves polo shirts and dress pants and thinks a buzz cut is the best haircut. The other half of his time is naked.

I have all boys and don't really have an opinion because I haven't seen any little girls wearing heels. But this made me laugh because my boys LOVE their polo shirts. They do look grown up in them. We got them for a family picture and they want to wear them every day. If they aren't wearing polo shirts, they like to "wear their butts".

[mom2annika]

My DD loves the Target Mary Jane's with the 1" heel. I never thought about it being too adult; I just don't see it that way.

OTOH, we were in Target with friends and they stopped to chat near the shoe rack, so DD helped herself to some shoes off the rack and said, "I try dees on." (Her auntie taught her that!) She picked a pair of very obviously adult, gold strappy sandals with a pretty high heel. She looked so cute clopping down the aisle in them! But, she still has a baby face (3 y.o.) and it was obviously "dress up," not something she'd wear. She likes her own dress shoes cause they make lots of noise on our hardwood floors.

I'm with the mama said vetoed t-shirts with sayings like "Diva"---although she does have "Daddy's Little Princess" on one shirt in tri-colored glitter.

I just don't want her to grow up too fast.

[bigeyes]

I don't think we're talking about very small heels, are we? Because what I'm talking about are the miniature versions of grown up shoes I see little girls wearing .

I'm thinking of the ridiculous 'cfm pumps' I see little tiny 4 and 5 year old girls stumbling around in. Seriously, 4" platforms and heels? (I know grown women who can't walk in those.) I don't find that any more cute or amusing than teaching a 3 year old to dance like a stripper. And yes, I have known someone in the past who had a 3 year old daughter someone taught to bump and grind and do a little trick with a chair that left me .
He had no problems with the miniature stripper outfits, either. So, when I see a small child in a 4" heel, maybe I just suffer from flashbacks. I find it revolting in a very big way. I'm not saying anyone who lets their kid dress that way is teaching them to be a stripper, I'm just saying it brings up an ugly memory for me and squicks me out, so maybe that's just my baggage. I still think it's inappropriate attire for little girls even if you don't have a creepy memory.


I don't even know where you find things like that in little girl sizes. At least when the girl has a big foot like my daughter, you know they bought it in the women's shoe section. Is there a I wanna dance naked when I grow up sizes 4 to 6x section? :

[loraxc]

I would not let DD wear these for a variety of reasons (not age-appropriate, not sturdy, poorly made), but most importantly because they're dangerous (as many have said). Actually, I think flip-flops are too dangerous for my particular kid!

I also have a picky, highly opinionated child; I have been known to fib and say "Those don't come in your size." So sue me.

[*Erin*]

i agree with the PP's who've said heels are inapropriate for little ones. i cringe when i see little girls wearing them, and seems like it's getting more common than ever now. ugh. they're dangerous, and they are way too grown up looking. i have a 5 yr old dd, and she is not allowed to have heels, platforms, or wedges, with the only exception being a hand me down pair of teeny satin wedges for at home playing dress up.

also no way is she sporting vampy tshirts ("spoiled", "diva","brat" ect) or short shorts or those shorts with words on the butt. yucky.
i like her to look like a kid, not a Bratz doll.
as far as heels being a rite of passage, i have never heard of that. i don't believe i'd be inclined to buy them for dd at 13 either.
i do let her have painted toenails sometimes, but in kidful colors.

awww, totally nothing to do with this thread, but my little son (4.5 months) is totally giggling in his sleep had to share..

[Mollybeans]

I have 2 dds

I have 2 dds (11 & 2). It drives me nuts how sexy little girls clothing and shoes can be. When my 11 yo was 5 I was trying to find some little white shoes for her to wear for Easter. The only thing I could find were heels, and sequins-laden heels at that! For a 5 yo! I couldn't find any little mary janes, or t-straps. I couldn't believe it! I think I had her squeeze into her black winter shoes.

She's now 11, very pretty & popular, and still doesn't wear any "sexy" clothes.

I do own a pair of cheap plastic "princess" shoes from grandma, and they loved those. Somehow dress-up is just different.

p.s. I don't think anyone is talking about a little mary jane with a small heel, we're talking about miniature versions of adult high heels.

[_betsy_]

DD is 20 mo. I have a HARD TME finding flats for her. Seriously, the heels start at size 5 toddlers. Poor thing is going to be in sneakers for the rest of her life. She hates all sandals (can't seem to stand being able to see her toes?) and DH the chiropractor hates to see even adults in heels.

Sneakers it is, I guess!

And yeah, the t-shirts with "Diva," "Princess," Spoiled," etc. are outlawed in our house.

[LynnS6]

Originally Posted by mom2annika

My DD loves the Target Mary Jane's with the 1" heel. I never thought about it being too adult; I just don't see it that way

No, they're not too adult, but they're darned hard to climb a tree in (what dd was trying to do the day before they took a trip to an undisclosed location). She has another pair of dressy shoes with about a 1/4+ heel that work quite well.

Originally Posted by Attached Mama

I buy mostly soft star shoes for my 3 year old www.softstarshoes.com so I guess you could call me a shoe snob. I don't like shoes from Target or even most Stride Rite shoes because I think they are too stiff for little feed to move properly in. Just my opinion.

These would last about 2 days on dd's feet! We live on a hill. She uses her feet as a brake when riding her trike down the hill. I'm thinking of investing in steel-toed boots - except that they don't make them in pink with sparkles!

[Geofizz]

Originally Posted by LynnS6

I would recommend these shoes -- they meet many of the criteria that kid who's into sparkles, tutus and "girly" stuff like, but they have no heel, and are great for running and climbing. Dd has the red version of these shoes, and we're going to have to replace them because the toes have worn through.

You mean like this?



There was a girl at kindergarten graduation with an updo, makeup, and 2" heels.

[chfriend]

Originally Posted by Geofizz

There was a girl at kindergarten graduation with an updo, makeup, and 2" heels.

Were there any boys in ties, long pants and hard shoes?

[ThreeBeans]

Originally Posted by chfriend

Were there any boys in ties, long pants and hard shoes?

Ties, long pants and hard shoes are the cultural norm for a dressed up little boy. They are age appropriate. 2" heels, and updo and make up are NOT the cultural norm for a little girl. They are not age appropriate.

[Kansai Mama]

I really do not like heels on little girls either. Not only are they uncomfortable and inappropriate for play but what message is that sending the child --- that she has to be cute or pretty to be liked? I blame the marketers for pushing these types of shoes.

As far as boys and buzz hair cuts --- some boys like very short hair. My son will cut his hair himself if it gets more than two inches long. Also buzz hair cuts do not make it difficult for my son to play or harm him physically.

[claras_mom]

Originally Posted by WeasleyMum

I don't think you're weird, it bothers me too. The ONLY purpose of high-heeled shoes is sex appeal, plain and simple. They're terrible for the feet, back, posture, etc., especially for those who are still developing. Why anyobdy would let their little girl wear them is beyond me.

Originally Posted by Village Mama

I completely " get" the dress up reasoning... I do cringe though when we are at the playground and I see little girls 4 and up in wedge sandles and heeled boots and shoes trying to play on the playground. It is just so impractical that the kids can't even play!!!It seems so foolish to me... I do have two boys though. I haven't been there, so maybe I am just not getting it?!

Originally Posted by Very Snoofly

Heels on little girls used to bother me a lot too...until my second daughter, who's almost 3, developed some amazingly strong clothing preferences. For the past three months, she has refused to wear anything but dresses, and they have to be certain kinds of dresses at that (can't be knit, have to button up the back with a ribbon to tie, have to have a certain amount of flounce, have to be a floral print) -- she refuses, to the point of screaming tantrums, to wear anything else. She also refuses to wear sneakers or Croc-type shoes (which are our summer standard). She wore the same pair of pink Mary Janes for months; when they finally fell apart I took her to Target to find some new shoes, and she got fixated on an awful pair of plastic high-heeled flip-flops. They were sparkly and purple and she wanted them desparately -- but they also looked really uncomfortable and impractical, to me. But I let her try them on, and it's only because she realized that she couldn't walk in them that she agreed on another pair (some ballerina flats, in floral print, of course!).

...some kids may have on impractical shoes because their parents didn't want to deal with a huge screaming tantrum while trying to get out the door. You just never know.

: Those moms you see with the dd with the heels may well have a pair of tennis shoes in the backpack. My dd is moving out of this phase--in part because I look really hard for shoes that fit her notion of pretty and my notion of appropriate and practical. When she was younger, she refused to wear anything but a pair of shiny mary janes (with the tiny heel) for months. Hand-me downs. In retrospect, I think she liked them because they were noisy.

Re playground. She has a pair of dress-up shoes (those completely impractical, plastic slides with a little heel) that she begged and begged for and sometimes she insists on wearing them to the store or park. Again, it's not a battle I always choose to fight, and if dd knows I have the back-up shoes, she doesn't last long until she decides herself that she needs different shoes.

I do draw the line, btw - in very much the way that Very Snoofly did - when it comes to buying things that are "real" shoes.

I comfort myself by thinking that it's a good thing to develop a good shopping relationship now, while the stakes are lower. Kind of like developing good communication skills with kids--and in fact, a good way to develop those skills: listening to clothing preferences and talking about it.

[GradysMom]

I don't have time to read the whole thread so maybe this has already been said but...

I saw a toddler, maybe 18mo, but probably younger, barely walking in dress-up up shoes with a distinct 1 inch heel. It made me want to vomit - it totally sexualized the child... it wasn't cute.

Plus the parent put looks above saftey... the baby could hardly manage walking in them.

[chfriend]

Originally Posted by ThreeBeans

Ties, long pants and hard shoes are the cultural norm for a dressed up little boy. They are age appropriate. 2" heels, and updo and make up are NOT the cultural norm for a little girl. They are not age appropriate.

Why is okay to dress boys as grown ups but not girls? Why is that not sexualizing boys?

I'm geniunely confused about why little girls being dressed up makes people want to vomit, but boys being dress up in little tiny business suits doesn't.

[chfriend]

Originally Posted by Kansai Mama

As far as boys and buzz hair cuts --- some boys like very short hair. My son will cut his hair himself if it gets more than two inches long. Also buzz hair cuts do not make it difficult for my son to play or harm him physically.

Some girls like to play in heels. I get that you are bowing to your son's preferences and would never impose your standards of maleness on him, but some little girls like to play in heels.

Little girls are not public property for people to judge their appearance any more than little boys are.

[Attached Mama]

Originally Posted by chfriend

Why is okay to dress boys as grown ups but not girls? Why is that not sexualizing boys?

I'm geniunely confused about why little girls being dressed up makes people want to vomit, but boys being dress up in little tiny business suits doesn't.

Just a guesss here....
but maybe it has to do with the fact that male and female clothing is different. Grown up male clothing doesn't accentuate the male thigh, chest (not that they have one), doesn't make them walk in a tripping, sexy way, it's not generally very form fitting and it doesn't show off excessive amounts of skin (which can be ok, just depends). Male dress up clothing is the equivalent of a nice feminine dress and mary janes on a little girl. I think people who are saying they are turned off by little girls being dressed up are talking about the "sexy" dress up clothing made for them. Things such as bare backed sundresses with short skirts and plunging necklines combined with high heels for example.

That being said, I think tiny business suits and ties are much cuter on very little boys when the bottoms are shorts on little boys and it's a little bow tie and is paired with white dressy knee socks and saddle shoes.

[Attached Mama]

Originally Posted by LynnS6

These would last about 2 days on dd's feet! We live on a hill. She uses her feet as a brake when riding her trike down the hill. I'm thinking of investing in steel-toed boots - except that they don't make them in pink with sparkles!

I immediately wanted to defend our beloved soft stars - until I realized what you were saying. Don't think many shoes would last thru that!! Softstars are really a lot more sturdy than they look - but not for being used as breaks.

I'm wondering where people are looking for shoes... Maybe we need a list of places to get nice, dressy, flat shoes for adult and children's sizes. i know I see them all the time for both children and adults.

Stride Rite
Macy's (and other large dpt stores)
Target (has woman's dressy flats from time to time)
DSW (discount shoe warehouse)
Old Navy
Gap (both Old Navy and Gap sell slip on flat ballet style shoes the last few seasons)
Soft Star shoes
Marshall's, TJ Maxx, Ross and the like
Hanna Andersson
LL Bean
Land's End

Granted most of these places aren't the cheapest...

[Ellien C]

Originally Posted by Very Snoofly

Heels on little girls used to bother me a lot too...until my second daughter, who's almost 3, developed some amazingly strong clothing preferences. For the past three months, she has refused to wear anything but dresses, and they have to be certain kinds of dresses at that (can't be knit, have to button up the back with a ribbon to tie, have to have a certain amount of flounce, have to be a floral print) -- she refuses, to the point of screaming tantrums, to wear anything else. She also refuses to wear sneakers or Croc-type shoes (which are our summer standard). She wore the same pair of pink Mary Janes for months; when they finally fell apart I took her to Target to find some new shoes, and she got fixated on an awful pair of plastic high-heeled flip-flops. They were sparkly and purple and she wanted them desparately -- but they also looked really uncomfortable and impractical, to me. But I let her try them on, and it's only because she realized that she couldn't walk in them that she agreed on another pair (some ballerina flats, in floral print, of course!).

Anyway, my point is -- I judge less now. I don't think that every little girl in high-heeled sandals is as strong-willed about clothes as my daughter is, and I'm sure that some moms buy those shoes because they meet some weird standard of "adorable" that I don't agree with. But some kids may have on impractical shoes because their parents didn't want to deal with a huge screaming tantrum while trying to get out the door. You just never know.

I have that DD, too! Mine is the one in the velvet floor length dress on the climbing wall with horrible plastic gold lame "dress-up" sandals! The pink sparkle mary jane flats were a huge step forward. Crocs and Tennis shoes are right OUT. There are such restrictive standards about what she can and cannot wear to pre-school that I don't look twice at what she wears when she is out with me.

She's 5 now and hasn't really grown out of it...

[chfriend]

Originally Posted by Attached Mama

Just a guesss here....
but maybe it has to do with the fact that male and female clothing is different. Grown up male clothing doesn't accentuate the male thigh, chest (not that they have one), doesn't make them walk in a tripping, sexy way, it's not generally very form fitting and it doesn't show off excessive amounts of skin (which can be ok, just depends).

But isn't that the outfit a heterosexual man puts on when he wants to attract a heterosexual woman (sexually) by demonstrating his success? My kids (both girls) don't particularly like this stuff, but have friends who are girls that do. I don't think anything in particular about them or their parents, or even think it's my place to think very much about it.

I think a little girl can wear dress shoes and an upstyle hairdo to a big occasion without being described as sexy just as much as a boy can wear business attire without a reaction. Boys can't play in those outfits anymore than girls can play in theirs.