Originally Posted by bobandjess99
That it might be awful. I think i sort of set myself up to "fail" because i only read positive birth stories, and I REALLY bought into the "if you do everything right, it wont hurt that bad" line. And for me, it DID hurt that bad..like was said earlier, I really thought death would come before the unimaginable pain I experienced...but than again, it was not just my first UC, it was my first birth, so i had NOTHING to compare it to, or any way to be prepared....a first time UCer who has already experienced BIRTH is i think going into it with a little more foundation, you know?
This is my 3rd birth, first in a hospital cause I was scared of giving birth, and hadn't found a good support system, just horror stories
That was very intense and PAINFUL, but then when I pushed, it stopped hurting as much and just became intense on its own.
With my 2nd, it was a hb attended by mws. And it was PAINFUL. Just so very very painful. I was able to "relax" throughout, all I could do was concentrate on keeping my feet relaxed as a focal point of my body, and I would fall asleep BETWEEN (not during, oops, edited!) contractions. It's just my body's way of coping with pain, I've discovered. I thought I was dying, I honestly did. But I just kept telling myself that if I could make it to pushing, then it wouldn't be as painful.
HAHAHAHAHA!!! That was not at all the case. With my 2nd, pushing was only more intense and oh so very very incredibly painful. And once he crowned, the rest of his body didn't just slip out like my first, nope, I still have a few more intense pushes to go.
I honestly felt pissed and betrayed after my birth. Yes, it was the "perfect" hb, everything I had wanted, but after I stopped hemorrhaging and stuffing my face with food, nursing the baby a little, etc, I wanted to go take a shower. I handed the baby to his father. My mom came in the bathroom with me since I'd lost a bit of blood and they were worried about me passing out or something. As I sat on the floor of the shower I told my mom I was glad I knew that it was another variation of normal not to feel that flood of overwhelming emotion towards your baby upon seeing them the first time (with my first I certainly fell immediately and totally, unchangeably in love with him the moment I saw him). Cause I didn't have that for the new baby just then. And I was ok with it.
I told her I was sitting in the shower as long as I damn well wanted, and I was doing everything in my power to etch into my mind how hideous giving birth was so I would never ever be tempted to do it again. I knew I would forget, cause women are made to forget, otherwise no one would do it again. So I was going to try to hold on to anything I could about how horrible it was. I also didn't want to hold my new baby just then cause I was actually angry with HIM about causing that kind of pain.
I mean, I DID bond with him, and fell in love with him endlessly, it just took a little more time and wasn't immediate.
But I think that is something important to remember: that type of feeling is also NORMAL. If you don't have an immediate feeling of intense love for your baby, that is ok! You aren't horrible, and you DO love them, and you WILL feel that intensity of emotion for them soon enough.
And heh, here I am getting ready for #3
So no matter how intense birth is for some people, most of us will end up doing it again! Time and distance and biology take care of that for us!