How do you spark conversation?

[ishereal]

If I notice a woman is pregnant while out, I congratulate them on their pregnancy and ask how far along then I ask the BIG question ...... Are you going to breast feed!!!!! Depending on the answer (which I respect either way) I either tell them what a great decision they have made or ask them to consider it and give them some pamphlets on bf'ing that I carry around ALL THE TIME! I never shove it down their throats

[zinemama]

I applaud your enthusiasm, really I do.

But if I'd made up my mind to ff and some stranger asked me to reconsider and handed me literature she just happened to carry around with her? I *would* consider that shoving it down my throat.

[go0ber]

i havent done this yet (havent seen any pregnant women) BUT if i were to, i would say simply, "if you want to get any sleep, breastfeed and cosleep" and then i would go on about the ease of the side lying nursing once you get the hang of it. i will also inform them that bfing struggles are common in the beginning and not to give up cause bottles in the middle of the night for a year is way harder!

[Artichokie]

I just assume that she will be bfing. I usually say something like, oh, you musy be so excited! Bfing a snuggly lo is just so wonderful; I'll really miss it when my lo weans.

So far, I;ve been right with my assumpttion every time.

[LeighB]

Ditto pp, I just act like they are going to breastfed.

[elizaMM]

I think that its a really good idea to assume they are breastfeeding. Likely most will play along, whatever their decision. But if they are on the fence, I think it will help them be a tad more comfortable, especially if you add in your own anecdotes about how nice it is for you.

[ishereal]

Originally Posted by go0ber

i havent done this yet (havent seen any pregnant women) BUT if i were to, i would say simply, "if you want to get any sleep, breastfeed and cosleep" and then i would go on about the ease of the side lying nursing once you get the hang of it. i will also inform them that bfing struggles are common in the beginning and not to give up cause bottles in the middle of the night for a year is way harder!

good one!

[ishereal]

Originally Posted by zinemama

I applaud your enthusiasm, really I do.

But if I'd made up my mind to ff and some stranger asked me to reconsider and handed me literature she just happened to carry around with her? I *would* consider that shoving it down my throat.

a little literature on the benefits of bf'ing will not hurt, especially if the reason they are not bf'ing is not do to medical reasons.

[Limabean1975]

A little OT, but I never, ever, EVER mention a woman's pregnancy before she does.

[apelilae]

I might chat with them about the basics. Due date, first or whatever child, gender, names, etc. If they are warm enough, I let them know I'm with LLL and give them a card and let them know if they need any help or support, we are here for them.

[jesrox]

Originally Posted by Limabean1975

A little OT, but I never, ever, EVER mention a woman's pregnancy before she does.

Amen to that!! When my friend was pregnant, another of our friends went to lamaze class with her, and the lamaze instructor thought the non-pregnant one was pregnant! So ever since then I have never assumed a woman was pregnant until I heard her talking about i t!!

[ramama]

I usually only have these conversations with mothers who I am at least moderately familiar with. But usually they'll mention something about "getting ready for sleepless nights" or something along that line and I'll just say that "there's an easy way to do things and a hard way and you just have to figure out what works for your family." They usually ask what I mean and then I say that we found that co-sleeping and breastfeeding made our lives a lot easier, and how conflicted I was about how I thought I was "supposed" to parent (buy a crib, decorate a room, bottle feed, CIO, etc) and how I parented naturally (AP). And how I felt when I was told that I was "spoiling" or "ruining" my child by attachment parenting, until I found that "attachment parenting" was really a term and there was support out there for it. I then usually recommend books or websites for more information, if they appear to want more information.

[sapphire_chan]

Originally Posted by ramama

I usually only have these conversations with mothers who I am at least moderately familiar with. But usually they'll mention something about "getting ready for sleepless nights" or something along that line and I'll just say that "there's an easy way to do things and a hard way and you just have to figure out what works for your family." They usually ask what I mean and then I say that we found that co-sleeping and breastfeeding made our lives a lot easier, and how conflicted I was about how I thought I was "supposed" to parent (buy a crib, decorate a room, bottle feed, CIO, etc) and how I parented naturally (AP). And how I felt when I was told that I was "spoiling" or "ruining" my child by attachment parenting, until I found that "attachment parenting" was really a term and there was support out there for it. I then usually recommend books or websites for more information, if they appear to want more information.

This rocks.

Since I'm pregnant with my first child, I talk about what I plan to do. "I have to breastfeed and co-sleep, I'm too lazy to do anything harder"

[chirp]

Originally Posted by Limabean1975

A little OT, but I never, ever, EVER mention a woman's pregnancy before she does.

i won't say i never ever ever have...but i try to follow this too! sometimes i am genuinely interested though!!

[xelakann]

Originally Posted by zinemama

I applaud your enthusiasm, really I do.

But if I'd made up my mind to ff and some stranger asked me to reconsider and handed me literature she just happened to carry around with her? I *would* consider that shoving it down my throat.

I agree with this, especially if they were strangers. Just assume they are breastfeeding and if you do get in a conversation and it does come up then talk about. Approaching every pg women with an agenda would make me uncomfortable, and I knew I was going to breastfeed from before day one.

[mytwogirls]

Yep, I assume they are breast feeding. This fellow RN at work was pregnant and I asked her if she ever needed a breast pump to call me because I had an extra that was unopened and I would give her a good deal on it. Never heard from her again, and I asked how the breast feeding was going and she said fine, her mom bought her a pump as a gift...whew! I was afraid she was ff, which is her decision, but I would have been bummed out.

[ishereal]

Originally Posted by apelilae

I might chat with them about the basics. Due date, first or whatever child, gender, names, etc. If they are warm enough, I let them know I'm with LLL and give them a card and let them know if they need any help or support, we are here for them.

good!

[~sweet pea~]

Originally Posted by xelakann

Approaching every pg women with an agenda would make me uncomfortable, and I knew I was going to breastfeed from before day one.

Ditto. I fully plan to breastfeed for at least the first year, and I'd be okay with talking to a stranger about BF'ing in general.

However, if a stranger handed me a bunch of pamphlets that they "just happened to have" during a conversation about BF'ing, I'd give them the same dirty look I'd give a stranger handing out formula coupons.

Basically, if you try to turn MY pregnancy/child into YOUR golden opportunity to proselytize, I will disregard anything you have to say, just on principle. But that's just little ole contrarian me.

[go0ber]

well yeah i would be a little mad if someone was real pushy about any of their advice. however, during my entire pregnancy ALL i heard was the bad stuff i was going to encounter. its like everyone liked telling horror stories since this was my first pregnancy. MIL said, and i quote, "you won't sleep for a year," and everyone else was telling me stuff about how babies get sick, babies get colic, babies don't sleep, you won't have a life with your husband anymore, babies spit up all over you. then they would add some sort of "but it's so worth it!" catchphrase at the end and i would feel like wow this is gonna be tough.

you know what? i sleep great on most nights!, ds has never been sick, i can count the amount of times i've been spit up on on one hand, i can still enjoy dinner out with dh because ds sleeps well in a sling , ds has never had colic and even though he doesn't nap much, he is a really great night sleeper.

not to mention that no one told us how much fun babies are and how we would melt when he smiled at us, no one said how excited we would be when he started babbling his cute little baby babbles, no one said how in love we would be that we just want to watch him sleep.

so really i would take any of you coming up to me and saying, "breastfeeding is so wonderful and the bond is amazing! i hope you do it!" over any of the sh*t i heard when i was pregnant.

[bellymama]

Originally Posted by ishereal

If I notice a woman is pregnant while out, I congratulate them on their pregnancy and ask how far along then I ask the BIG question ...... Are you going to breast feed!!!!! Depending on the answer (which I respect either way) I either tell them what a great decision they have made or ask them to consider it and give them some pamphlets on bf'ing that I carry around ALL THE TIME! I never shove it down their throats

wow, a complete stranger asking me that would really annoy me.
kind of sounds like religious people soliciting door to door.