when do you call your midwife? - Page 2

[Nan'sMom]

Last time I had dh call as soon as I was pretty sure something was happening and he told her he'd call if we needed her (which I asked him to do when I was in transition so she came after the baby was born). I strongly advise considering getting your partner (if you have one) to call and talk to the midwife. I found it very distracting and annoying to talk to midwives and doulas when I was in labor the first time. And in my opinion, the midwife should come when you think you need her there, period. Obviously a detail to discuss with her, as different midwives have differing opinions on this.

For my first birth I called the midwife when my water broke and then had to deal with her pushing me to hurry up labor the next day. If I had to use her again for some reason I would call far later than at the first sign. I trust the midwife I used for my second birth far more to stay normal with me.

[pazerific]

with dd we called as soon as i had about an hour's worth of regular ctx, just to let her know that we may need her soon. we just stayed in communication with her via phone for a while. her rule of thumb was when the mom couldn't concentrate enough to complete a phone call to her, then it was time for her to head over.

this time around we plan on giving the "courtesy call" again as soon as things get started, just so the mw can know that we're going to need her later. if i had concerns about the MW being pushy or coming over too soon (we wouldn't have hired her) i might think about a different plan though.

[Shelsi]

Well obviously if you look at my signature line I am a complete failure at knowing when to call

I was a "bad girl" I guess and called about 3 hours into my labor. FTR though the first 3 hours were like nothing. I was eating breakfast, RUNNING around the house with my 3 yr old, etc. I called her at 8 in the morning figuring why should I wake her when things aren't really happening yet? Then I told her everything was fine, contractions were still easy, etc, and please don't come yet. Little did I know my mom would be calling her in an hour to tell her I HAD the baby Whoopsies

Next time around I think I'll call a tad bit earlier lol.

[2+twins]

I've always called at the first sign of labor.

The first time, I really wasn't sure if it was "it" so I called and she said it might be and to try to go back to bed and get some rest. I also called my dh who was at work and he decided he'd better come home just in case. He was home no more than 30 minutes later and when he walked in he just knew - I was already in full blown primal gaze type labor. So he called her back and she headed out.

The second time my water broke 10 or 15 minutes prior to my first contraction. I still called at that point - just to tell her what was going on. She said to call back once things got going. Once they did, I wanted to make sure I had established regular contractions, etc., never minding the fact that they hurt like hell, and wouldn't ya know it, I wouldn't let dh call her soon enough and she missed the birth by about 10 minutes!

The third time (which was twins, so 3rd & 4th) I was prepared for a fast labor like last time so I called right away which was again when my water broke, 10 or so minutes prior to my first contraction. B/c of my history, I had her head right on over. Baby A was born 41 minutes after it began. She made it to that one!

[rad]

My labors have all been so short (we almost did our first unassisted since they barely made it on time), so now I call as soon as my water breaks or I get my first few contractions.

[CanidFL]

Originally Posted by MsBlack

As a mw I have to say that I really try to get clients to call me the minute they have a sign that labor has started....or might be about to start (such as water breaking, mucus plug...). This does NOT mean that I will rush right over, only that I have a head's up and time to plan. Of course, some labors are very fast, and I don't get any lead time--and that's ok too--but when it is possible, I really like getting those early ph calls.

There really are no general rules about 'when' the mw should come. Some women don't have contrax every 3 minutes, or contrax that last 1 min or more, until the final hr or so. Some never see a sign of bloody show, or mucus plug, or....So I really like to hear any news that labor is occurring, or probably impending, pretty soon into things. Now, if your water breaks in the middle of the night but you have no contrax and the water is clear, please wait til morning to call--or at least until contrax start.

And for women/fams who don't need to me come right away and/or seek a lot of privacy, we will simply do occasional ph consults on progress ('call if there is any change in things') until either mom says she wants me there--or I can hear from signs that things are likely progressing more rapidly than mom realizes. Of course, if I'm an hour or more away, then I may choose to hit the road sooner than mom absolutely needs me to; if I arrive 'too early' by the woman/fam's preference, then I can take a walk, a nap, a trip to a nearby library or cafe....

Definitely. I forgot to mention in my post that I called as soon as my water broke at the beginning of labor just to let her know. This was at 9pm but we both thought I would be able to relax through the night and call her in the morning. It turned out by 11pm I was in transition and DH called her. By the time she got there, he was born 10 min later.

[xixstar]

mine asks that I call her as soon as labor starts to let her know - she's an hour away and also has other mommas too.

I'd then call her later when I wanted her to come out.

[Romana]

You probably don't want to do what I did - which is call too late. I put it off in early labor because it was the middle of the night and my midwives had asked not to call just to say "might be early labor" in the middle of the night when I didn't need them, not to mention I'd had lots of prodromal labor that felt like early labor for weeks . . .

Then I had an attack of labor brain after I knew it was labor and didn't want to call too early (and ctx were 7 min apart), so I didn't call until transition, at which point my midwife couldn't get there in time (asst did get there in time).

So just keep that in mind, unless you want an oops - too late! type birth. I would have much rather had my midwife there, but oh well.

[Catherine12]

I always call when I am pretty sure I'm in labor, even if I think the birth is still far off (unless it's the middle of the night) just so the mws can plan, etc. Then I call later when I feel things have progressed enough that I need them to come over. One thing I really like about homebirth is that you can touch base with your mws about going into labor without being "on the clock" or making a huge deal out of it.

For my first homebirth (second baby) I went into labor in the night but cx were not that strong even by morning. I called the mw and asked her to come check me; I was 2 cm dilated. She left. I called her again a few hours later and asked her to come since I felt I was getting closer. Both mws came, but mostly hung out downstairs until I was in transition. ds was born about 4 hours after they arrived.

I had planned on doing about the same with my second homebirth/third baby. How it actually worked out was this: I call mw just a few minutes after cx start to let her know I am in labor (I had a strong feeling this was it despite only having had a few cx). She asked me how far apart they were. I had no idea. So she asked me to time a few and call her back. Ten minutes later, I called back and asked her to come - cx were 3 mins apart, though only lasting 45 seconds, but I had a strong feeling that I was progressing fast. So she heads over (through rush hour traffic) and arrives 8 minutes before dd was born - less than an hour after my "heads-up" call.

Good thing dh didn't talk me out of calling her. He was like, "but your cx just started! It's too soon!"... but I just knew, even though my history was of long labors. I think it's a lot better to go by gut feeling than by how long you've had regular cx or how long the cx are (with my third baby I didn't have cx over 45 seconds until I was ten minutes away from pushing).

[swissmiss2584]

can you ladies send your fast labor vibes over here!!! Almost every one of you had fast labors!

[loraxc]

My water breaks when I go into labor, apparently, so that worked out nicely. I called to let them know, and they simply said to call back when I thought I needed them there. I didn't call back for a few hours, when contrax were getting really close. They got there around 1:30 am and babe was born at 4 am.

[Shell_Ell]

I called mine when I thought things were starting. I kept her posted through the process and then called her when I was sure it was it. She came about 2 hours into active labor.

[~Megan~]

Last time I called her to come talk to me when I thought things were starting. She reassured me and thought it would be a while yet. Tried to get me to go to sleep.

I tried but couldn't. I labored alone while dh slept.

After I had woke dh and was to the point of "of, F*ck, this is happening" he called her back. Sorry, that's the best way I can describe it!

When it seemed imminent and things were happening quickly I figured it was time.

[bronxmom]

This is my 2nd baby and first homebirth and I REALLY don't want the midwife to miss the birth - I am not interested in UC. In fact, I would like her there soon enough for some support and just to be confident that she's there. I expressed this specifically in my interviews and asked what their thinking was. The one I hired is about 40 minutes away (could be over an hour at rush hour). She said with 2nd moms she tells them to call as soon as she's had 3 contractions that were each 10 minutes or less apart - as opposed to 1 hour of contractions 5 minutes or less apart that tends to be standard. She might not necessarily come at that point, but we can assess on the phone. And she says she has a tendency after that call to drive up anyways and park somewhere and wait for another call - just so she's there if I need her - but not there if I don't. This seems ideal to me. I figure I will err on the side of calling early as my labor progressed fairly quickly the first time around (til I got to the hospital) and my mom had quick births.

[applejuice]

My midwife said that the contractions should be 3-5" apart and well established. She would listen to me on the phone giving directions, to see if I needed to stop during a contraction or not.

[jennadk3]

I was told not to call the midwife in the middle of the night if my water broke and it was clear (which it did 2:30am), but to wait until my contractions were 5 mins apart lasting 1 minute for an hour. I ended up calling her at 4:30 am because I felt that I was progressing really fast (don't know how I knew). She said to try and rest because it sounded like I was only in early labour *HA*. I insister DH call again at 7am because I felt the urge to push. Needless to say, the midwife walked in the door literally 2 minutes after the baby was born!
Definitely call if you feel that you need to midwife to come!

[BakerALM]

My MW has told me to call when I think I am in labor just to give her a heads up since her home is 45mins away and if by chance she happens to be at another birth in the other direction from my home she could be up to 2hrs away. She just does not like to miss births for any reason.

I also would hate to bother her in the middle of the night for a false alarm but last time I had to basically be pried from my home by my husband and mother to go to the hospital just "to get checked", by the time my MW got there to meet me I was 9 3/4cms. I did not have a short labor but I just did not want to bother anyone or go to the hospital to early. I feel the same way this time about not wanting to bother anyone and I enjoy laboring alone so I bet it will be my husband calling the MW so he does not have to deliver the babe alone

[momto4kids]

Originally Posted by swissmiss2584

I was wondering when everyone called their midwife? I don't want to call too early. I think it will be nice having my husband there alone laboring for awhile before a bunch of people show up and start walking around my small apartment.

I think you should call when you need her....I say that because of my experience. My last 2 labors never progressed in a normal pattern. If I would have waited until they were 1 min long every 3-5 minutes she would have been RUNNING in to catch my baby. Having said that both times she was still only here for 1-2 hours before the birth.......I should have called them earlier I guess .....but I do choose MW's who are close to me for a reason too!

Dana

[Eresh]

My MW told me to call if contractions kept me awake for more than 1 hr in the night (along with a list of other things like water breaking). So I called her at 2 am. We called back every hour or so with updates per her request. Then she came out at 6am when I was shaking and vomiting. I didn't end up having my baby until almost midnight, so about 18 hrs later. I wish I'd gone longer without them being there, since I think it slowed things down for me. I just wasn't prepared for the shaking and vomiting thing early in labor.