Originally Posted by Oriole
Look for respect, look for being treated with affection. I love my DSD dearly, but I can't imagine the expectation for my feeling of love to just "be there".
I don't think you can expect a man to fall in love with your kids right away, but you can certainly look for signs of how he treats them, whether or not he realizes he is joining a family with certain dynamics, and to see whether or not he respects your kids and the relationships you have developed. Does he argue with them? Does he allow you to parent them without overstepping his boundaries? Does he give them space when they want it? (by the way, all of this took me years to master). Easiest way to find out is to talk with him about your kids. How does he see himself with them?
just popping in
I have been with SO for about a year and he took to my daughter right away (he loves kids) and as repeatedly told me before that he dont see cadence as NOT his child although he knows biologically shes not he feels as though shes his kid. We agree on so many aspects of parenting. He dont take over control of my child. But he is great with her and I do allow him to help me make decisions for her because he is such an impact on her life. I dont think things will change too much when we have children because he wants cadence to be a part of everything when we have a baby. Just dont push it if its meant to happen (love for your child like his own) it will. ... sorry just rambling I just love the relationship my daughter has with SO