A hindrance, sadly.
My dh was terrible - terrible - during my first birth, which was a very traumatic UC emergency transfer.
I think in general, most men are just utterly ill-equipped to deal with a laboring woman - it's just not in their nature. I think there was a reason for that whole out-in-the-waiting-room-with-cigars stereotype. And now we;ve brought them into the "room" and well, sometimes it just doesn't work out so well. And it leaves a lasting mark on your relationship, unfortunately.
To the OP, I think it will be harder for your dh to behave in a supportive manner because of his previous experience with a bad birth. He's going to be carrying baggage you can't even imagine there.
I think the only way to "protect" yourself in a sense is to lower your expectations to virtually nil, and make sure you have someone there to give you the support you will truly need. That's what I have to do in order to get through my births with my dh. It's very sad, but just the truth of my situation. Oh, and did I mention my dh is a 4th year medical student now? Yeah - great...
My dh was terrible - terrible - during my first birth, which was a very traumatic UC emergency transfer.
I think in general, most men are just utterly ill-equipped to deal with a laboring woman - it's just not in their nature. I think there was a reason for that whole out-in-the-waiting-room-with-cigars stereotype. And now we;ve brought them into the "room" and well, sometimes it just doesn't work out so well. And it leaves a lasting mark on your relationship, unfortunately.
To the OP, I think it will be harder for your dh to behave in a supportive manner because of his previous experience with a bad birth. He's going to be carrying baggage you can't even imagine there.
I think the only way to "protect" yourself in a sense is to lower your expectations to virtually nil, and make sure you have someone there to give you the support you will truly need. That's what I have to do in order to get through my births with my dh. It's very sad, but just the truth of my situation. Oh, and did I mention my dh is a 4th year medical student now? Yeah - great...
but something in him shifts and he gets on board about 3 weeks before birth. Is attentive and feels for me in my giant state. He is rock solid and the best Dudla a mama could want. In fact he is besides my midwives the ONLY one I want during labor. He's eyes guiding me through. . . so he has never read a lick of ALL my birth books on the shelf. Has only watched a few videos with the first. But when it comes to the D-day he is all on it! So maybe your DH will just Get it and guide you
