post #41 of 93
6/12/08 at 4:47am
|My first one I had an epidural, so I was stoned out of my gourd. I just kept saying things like "I'm stoned" and "I can see board games on the ceiling!"|
|So I wound up flapping my arms around like a duck on meth,|
one birth instructor told us that women will behave in labor the same way they deal with all major stress in their life. If they normally become focused and introverted, expect that. I don't know if it's true for everyone but it's how I responded to both of my labors.
My first one I had an epidural, so I was stoned out of my gourd. I just kept saying things like "I'm stoned" and "I can see board games on the ceiling!"
My second one was natural, and I got quite cranky as I was starting to hit transition (AND they took my music away... I NEEDED that metallica!). DH and MIL were both touching and rubbing me, and it was just sensory overload. So I wound up flapping my arms around like a duck on meth, yelling at them to "Stop F-ing touching me! Jesus, why must you both TOUCH me all the F-ing time?! DON'T TALK, DON'T TOUCH ME, JUST DON'T DO ANYTHING!!!!"
Naturally, they both completely understood the situation, no hard feelings
And then there was this major pushing urge, to which I announced quite loudly:
"I feel like I have to take a massive dump all over this table!!!"
That certainly got the room into a flurry of movement! Not quite mean, but crude...
ETA more I thought of after I hit the post button:
When the entire intern staff came in the room.. because, apparently, a shrieking, swearing woman having an all-natural labor was completely foreign and a 'learning experience', I looked up, looked at the ob, and just said, in a totally monotone voice: "Are you F'ing Sh-ing me? You people don't even F-ing ask before having 15 people come in and stare at my crotch?!"
And then when she was stitching me, I told her several times the local hadn't taken effect. I kept wincing, flinching, etc. The nurses grabbed my legs to hold me still, and I flipped. They told me I needed to be still, and it wasn't that bad.
"Isn't that bad?! I am running away from my own A$$ right now! Do you see this?" Then they got irritated, and I got louder "I swear to all that is Holy, if you don't give me more local, I'm going to take that needle and stick it all up in your lady-bits, let's see you be still about it!"
Nurses after weighing DD:
"You had a 10 lb baby?! Vaginally?! With no meds?!"
"Umm, yup, still bleeding from my crotch here, gals. Clue enough for you?"
Yea, I get cranky, and mean. Especially when people just refuse to do what I want them to without me telling them!