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Do you say anything mean in labor? - Page 3

post #41 of 93
Quote:
Originally Posted by amymaew View Post
I told dh I would go get a butcher knife and cut his f*****g feet off if he didn't stop running up and down the stairs, but that was about it. He shouldn't have been running up and down the stairs lolol
I am now laughing so hard I'm crying.
post #42 of 93
I was always pleasant (at least I think so). In fact, when the mw asst kept asking for random things (like paperwork, shoulder length gloves, various birth kit supplies, etc.) during transition, I remember at one point thinking, "Oh no, how in god's name am I going to make it out to the car right now to get her that paper." What I said was sort of a breathless "I don't know - it might be in the car - do you really need it right now?" sort of thing. I also instructed my dh on how to finish making the lasagna during transition, because I really wanted to have something nice for the midwives to eat when they got there (they arrived after the birth). And during pushing, I asked a couple of times how close I was to having the baby because I really felt I couldn't do it anymore.

But no swearing or being mean or anything.
post #43 of 93
I don't think I've ever been mean or anything. When I had Stephanie, I remember as soon as she was out, before they had cut her cord, I said "I am never doing that again!" Well, we can see how that turned out. Steph has heard this story and there have been a few times in her life that she reminds me of it and says "I wish you would have kept that promise." She's not always real fond of her brother's and sister's.
post #44 of 93
I was never really mean, but I do get short and bossy - because I don't have time to say, "dear, I'm having a contraction. Could you please rub my feet to help me deal with the pain?" I would just yell "feet!" or "contraction!" so I could get what I needed right away.

I do regret the things I have said right before crowning - variations on "I want it out right now!" - because I feel like that's not a nice way to talk about your baby... especially the "it" part, though since we never found out the gender I didn't have much choice there (and again, not enough time to say "I want him or her out right now.")

I do always tell dh that I love him during labor... so maybe I get sappy instead of mean (and I'm definitely sappy after the baby comes out).
post #45 of 93
I think the one time that I actually yelled at someone was when I gave birth to my oldest. It was a military hospital so, not a lot of crunchy options there (not that I was even remotely crunchy then). I was in a monitoring room and it was time, so I told my husband to tell the nurse that I needed to go to the bathroom. She walks in, takes one look at me and immediately she's on the bed shoving my knees up to my chest in the middle of a contraction and yelling for the other medics to come in and wheel me to the delivery room. The only thing I remember saying was "get the f*** off me, b****!!!"

Funny thing is, I felt TERRIBLE for cussing out an officer (I was enlisted) and went back after I was discharged and actually appologized to her. She started laughing and said she had heard MUCH worse from many, many patients but that I was the first one EVER to actually come back and appologize. lol
post #46 of 93
I was kind of mean during my first labour.
My dh was trying to "help" me push. Wanted me to remember that I went through the "Circle of Pain" in karate. I just told him to shut up.
I also swore when they used the vacuum to extract my dd.

I was much more pleasant the second time around
post #47 of 93
No I didn't - say anything mean. Which is interesting, because when I'm not laboring, I have a pretty uncensored vocabulary.

I never cussed out DH or anyone else, and I never said I'd never do it again (I knew we wanted more babes). My verbal communication reduced down to one or two words at a time "water" "don't touch me"

When we got to the ho$pital, I was trying to walk to the L&D suite, and a stupid nursing assistant started chasing us down the hallway with a wheelchair. I was squatting against the wall and waiting for a ctx to recede so I could continue (btw, this was in transition). She actually bumped me in the back with the wheelchair several times...... DH told her to back off, but I said nothing.

in retrospect, wish I had cut her a new one. But, that part of me was on hiatus, during labor, it seems.

Wonder what homebirth will be like this time? I'll let you know.

-Xen
post #48 of 93
The first time during pushing, my OB was telling me what was happening, and what effect my pushing was having- "that one moved her really far down! Can you try another one like that?" Really helpful stuff, seriously, just what I needed. Only my husband was super excited, and kept repeating verbatim whatever the OB said, like an echo. I'd been super kind, probably over solicitous, like some of the other posters up until that point. I lost it, though, and nearly yelled, "SHUT THE F&*% UP AND STOP GIVING ME MEDICAL ADVICE! YOU ARE NOT A DOCTOR!"

No such problems in my second labor.
post #49 of 93
My first one I had an epidural, so I was stoned out of my gourd. I just kept saying things like "I'm stoned" and "I can see board games on the ceiling!"

My second one was natural, and I got quite cranky as I was starting to hit transition (AND they took my music away... I NEEDED that metallica!). DH and MIL were both touching and rubbing me, and it was just sensory overload. So I wound up flapping my arms around like a duck on meth, yelling at them to "Stop F-ing touching me! Jesus, why must you both TOUCH me all the F-ing time?! DON'T TALK, DON'T TOUCH ME, JUST DON'T DO ANYTHING!!!!"

Naturally, they both completely understood the situation, no hard feelings

And then there was this major pushing urge, to which I announced quite loudly:
"I feel like I have to take a massive dump all over this table!!!"
That certainly got the room into a flurry of movement! Not quite mean, but crude...

ETA more I thought of after I hit the post button:

When the entire intern staff came in the room.. because, apparently, a shrieking, swearing woman having an all-natural labor was completely foreign and a 'learning experience', I looked up, looked at the ob, and just said, in a totally monotone voice: "Are you F'ing Sh-ing me? You people don't even F-ing ask before having 15 people come in and stare at my crotch?!"

And then when she was stitching me, I told her several times the local hadn't taken effect. I kept wincing, flinching, etc. The nurses grabbed my legs to hold me still, and I flipped. They told me I needed to be still, and it wasn't that bad.
"Isn't that bad?! I am running away from my own A$$ right now! Do you see this?" Then they got irritated, and I got louder "I swear to all that is Holy, if you don't give me more local, I'm going to take that needle and stick it all up in your lady-bits, let's see you be still about it!"

Nurses after weighing DD:
"You had a 10 lb baby?! Vaginally?! With no meds?!"
"Umm, yup, still bleeding from my crotch here, gals. Clue enough for you?"


Yea, I get cranky, and mean. Especially when people just refuse to do what I want them to without me telling them!
post #50 of 93
I worked hard to be pleasant and nice. It's me, my people-pleasing personality and I wanted to make things nice for my mw's and attendents. It helped I was in a good setting, if I had been in a hospital setting, maybe it would have been different.

I was somewhat snappish with my mom, when she got (what I Thought) was pretty late to the birth and I thought she was going to miss it. And she reminded me that they are just like menstural cramps and I told her "This hurts MORE than menstural cramps!" She still hasn't forgive me for that, but then again she's extremely sensitive and holds grudges I guess in her own natural labor she was nice as can be.

Quote:
My first one I had an epidural, so I was stoned out of my gourd. I just kept saying things like "I'm stoned" and "I can see board games on the ceiling!"
Quote:
So I wound up flapping my arms around like a duck on meth,
Oh my lord the above two have me dying laughing....although I'm sure the epidural experience wasn't funny at the time...or maybe it was, since you said you weren't very crunchy then. Board games on the ceiling? That's one I've never heard.
post #51 of 93
Quote:
Originally Posted by KD's Momma View Post
one birth instructor told us that women will behave in labor the same way they deal with all major stress in their life. If they normally become focused and introverted, expect that. I don't know if it's true for everyone but it's how I responded to both of my labors.
I think that's definitely true. My usual approach to stress is to get really testy and irritable, and to resent and snap at anything that takes my attention away from what I'm doing. Labor was the same way for me. I was never openly RUDE to anyone, but I was a little, um, SHORT with people. I just wanted to be left alone. I remember sitting next to the bed and repeatedly kicking the leg of it over and over and over, and DH would ask me if I was "okay," and I'd be like, "shut UP would you please just SHUT UP." And yeah, I said please, but it was in this "leave me alone or I'm going to slaughter you" voice. That's me. I'll say all the right polite words, but I'll say them in the voice that kills.

That was with DD1. With DS, I WAS alone and paralyzed with fear. I had the OB on the phone with me talking me through what was happening while we waited for an ambulance, and I was too busy being unbelievably grateful for her to be rude to her.

I do remember telling DH off, with DD1. He was all helicoptering over me fussing and trying to be helpful and asking me a million times if I needed anything, and I basically told him, "look what I really want is for you to sit down way over there in the corner and don't move and don't say anything and for the love of God don't even BREATHE so's I can hear it. Okay?"

I didn't labor with the twins.
post #52 of 93
I was pretty nice until the MW was holding a cervical lip back while I was pushing. I screamed at her to get her fingers out of me and when the contraction was over I whimpered "your fingers *hurt* me!" And she replied "you hurt my fingers." I told her I didn't feel bad
post #53 of 93
I didn't say anything in particular. But my nurse kept trying to listen to baby's heart rate mid contraction.. she'd just come at me with monitor. LOL having someone messing with you mid transition isn't fun!

Well I kept telling her to wait, and she didn't get the hint so I smacked her hands away. Then after contraction I said something like "I"m a nurse I know you have to listen but damn just give me a minute!" LOL she waited until I said it was ok after that. But it was helpful our MW/doula would announce she needed to listen and I should tell her when I was ready.
post #54 of 93
I had a vbac with my 2nd dd and had an new assistant dr who just had to shove her hand in me when I was in transition and having contrations. At first, I asked her nicely to take her hand out and she refused so finally yelled at her to "take her f*&^%%%* hand out now" in a deadly voice. She ended up leaving the room when I again had to yell at her that I was not getting a damn epidural because i wasnt having a (insert ur own word here) c/s.
post #55 of 93
Quote:
Originally Posted by Redifer View Post
My first one I had an epidural, so I was stoned out of my gourd. I just kept saying things like "I'm stoned" and "I can see board games on the ceiling!"

My second one was natural, and I got quite cranky as I was starting to hit transition (AND they took my music away... I NEEDED that metallica!). DH and MIL were both touching and rubbing me, and it was just sensory overload. So I wound up flapping my arms around like a duck on meth, yelling at them to "Stop F-ing touching me! Jesus, why must you both TOUCH me all the F-ing time?! DON'T TALK, DON'T TOUCH ME, JUST DON'T DO ANYTHING!!!!"

Naturally, they both completely understood the situation, no hard feelings

And then there was this major pushing urge, to which I announced quite loudly:
"I feel like I have to take a massive dump all over this table!!!"
That certainly got the room into a flurry of movement! Not quite mean, but crude...

ETA more I thought of after I hit the post button:

When the entire intern staff came in the room.. because, apparently, a shrieking, swearing woman having an all-natural labor was completely foreign and a 'learning experience', I looked up, looked at the ob, and just said, in a totally monotone voice: "Are you F'ing Sh-ing me? You people don't even F-ing ask before having 15 people come in and stare at my crotch?!"

And then when she was stitching me, I told her several times the local hadn't taken effect. I kept wincing, flinching, etc. The nurses grabbed my legs to hold me still, and I flipped. They told me I needed to be still, and it wasn't that bad.
"Isn't that bad?! I am running away from my own A$$ right now! Do you see this?" Then they got irritated, and I got louder "I swear to all that is Holy, if you don't give me more local, I'm going to take that needle and stick it all up in your lady-bits, let's see you be still about it!"

Nurses after weighing DD:
"You had a 10 lb baby?! Vaginally?! With no meds?!"
"Umm, yup, still bleeding from my crotch here, gals. Clue enough for you?"


Yea, I get cranky, and mean. Especially when people just refuse to do what I want them to without me telling them!
This is hysterical. Not what happened, but how you tell it.

This is also why I'm planning a solo UC.
post #56 of 93
These are great!

Board games on the ceiling! Butcher knives! Hehe.

Well, my first was in a hospital, where I arrived at 9cm, having driven myself in transition (it was close, at least!).

There was this nurse, oh goodness. I almost sued the hospital and would have probably won because of her, but ended up not.

Anyway, I screamed a LOT at her to leave me the f* alone, and it ended up that I kept kicking at her. She broke my water against my will, and finally I took a REALLY good kick at her head, knocked her a really good one, and she left. Ha.

I remember screaming at the stupid ped that came in to get me to sign papers for the Hep B vax, and I told him I didn't want it (while in transition with one on top of the other contrx, no breaks, water broken against my will, and PITOCIN against my will at this point, yes, I'd gotten to the hospital at 9cm after having only been in labor for about 2 hours. Me=no hospitals. EVER.) I said I just didn't because of what I had read, etc. And he demanded I explain... I finally screamed at him that I knew what the hell I was talking about and that I didn't have to explain it to him and he needed to leave me the f* alone!

Geez people. WTH?

Oh, and my favorite parts of this are that #1) the next day they told me they would send the LC in to my room before I left, and it was HER. She walked in, saw me, I flipped her off, she walked right back out. Heh.
#2) The Hep B was recalled due to safety concerns a few days later, so I felt vindicated on that one, too.

Fortunately with my 2nd it was home with just my dh and mws, and for the most part I really think I was quite pleasant towards all of them.
post #57 of 93
With my first I was annoyed by my Mother, who at the time still smoked her clothes reeked and I was nauseous, so I did fight the urge to throw her out of the room. I was short with the replacement nurse (when our nurse went on lunch) and she was talking through my contractions. With my second I was nice to everyone, though my mother insists that I was rude and I yelled at the midwives, the midwives and DH do not agree with that, they were in the room with me and I was yelling across the house to give directions to where the washcloths and the ice-packs were in the freezer. I remembered that it was our assistant midwife's birthday when she came in while I was in transition and I looked up and wished her a happy birthday, then I put my head down and kept on with the contraction. The midwives were very surprised and told a few other mom's about how polite i was during labor.
My third labor was my nicest, I was almost in a good type of pain, and had spent the entire hard labor in the bathroom. At one point just after the midwife showed up she suggested that we send our kids over to the neighbor's house across the street because they were jumping on the mattress in the living room. I was not happy with that idea especially since the neighbor in question was a heavy smoker and not very competent with children, our childcare hadn't shown up and she was worried that the kids were messing with the bed. I yelled from the bathroom that the kids were fine and they would not be leaving the house. DH was very supportive and told the midwife that she was not in charge and that the kids were fine, we did end up inviting the neighbor over to watch the kids, because the midwife was so annoying about it. It turned out to be a great thing as the neighbor had three children and had never seen a vaginal birth, so it was a very moving experience watching Cal be born, while holding our 2 yo.
With our 4th DH and I were the only ones in the room and I have video evidence that I only spoke three times between the time my water broke and Sea was born, about 6 minutes. IIRC the three things were 'oil' , 'now' and get the squeegie ( blue nasal syringe) that was it, though I did roll my eyes at DH who chose the last 3 minutes before the babe was born to finally discuss the 'do you think it will be a boy or a girl' topic that he had been avoiding for the previous 8 months.
With our fifth I was moaning and saying that it didn't feel right, up until I reached transition, then I was quiet until I needed to ask for the towels as I caught him.
I am usually a very loud person and that seems to escape me when I am in labor, though I do really think and concentrate on the situation. I am constantly assessing the situation and planning for the next possibility.
post #58 of 93
Quote:
Originally Posted by diapers4fun View Post
Is anybody pleasant during their entire labor?
I was. DH has anxiety issues, so I've always been very protective of him whenever he's outside of his comfort zone. Seeing me in labor was definitely way out of his comfort zone. Between every contraction, I assured him that it really wasn't that bad and that I was fine, and I kept asking him if he was OK and if he needed anything.

My midwife seemed to think that it was very strange, but I think that focussing on someone other than myself distracted me and kept me sane.
post #59 of 93
Gosh, some of these have me in stitches with laughter.... they are hilarious!

I think I fall into the pleasantly labouring category. I had been really worried that I would be nasty to DH, but I actually just craved his comfort and his solidity throughout the labour. I think I was so deeply involved in the labour process - almost meditating - that I did not need to say much. I also had an awesome team who did not intrude except to tell me I could feel DS's head crowning when I didn't want to.

Very mild in comparison to some others
post #60 of 93
In my second labor, which was mind-bendingly intense, I kept telling Dh to shutup. He could ask questions or say, "You're doing great" in between contractions, usually - but during contractions and then later on when it was just all the time, he couldn't talk at all. If he did I said, "Shut up... I'm sorry... shut up." I felt bad that I couldn't find better words, when he was SO supportive and awesome to me, but I really couldn't find a polite way to phrase it, not under the circumstances! A couple of times I said, "Hold, please" which is a quote from Galaxy Quest when the sh** hits the fan and Sigourney Weaver's character is trying to play it off. But mostly just plain Shut Up. He said I didn't say it mean, just VERY business-like.

But I've never felt angry in labor, or irked, or anything. Too busy, and the only person I've actually had to deal with is Dh who is monumentally respectful and sensitive when I'm giving birth.
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