Originally Posted by Thao
Yes, I asked her what she likes the first night she was here when she told me she didn't like what we were having. It was all stuff that I don't know how to make, like chicken fried steak. To be honest I don't see the point of learning to make it because she probably won't like the way I make it, LOL. Last night (when she was spending the night unexpectedly) she asked what kind of toothpaste we have and when I told her we have a peppermint flavor she said she didn't like it. I asked what kind she likes, thinking maybe she liked the fruit kind. But no, she uses peppermint at home, she just didn't like our peppermint.
She sounds just like my younger cousin. My grandparents once bought mini pizzas for us as a special treat. They got plain cheese because they knew that was all she ate. And still - she picked all the cheese off and wiped off the tomato sauce before replacing the cheese and eating. I was 8 or so - and I WAS HORRIFIED... I knew it was bad manners (because that's what my parents taught me). But I also learned something. My grandparents (who were not interested in raising us - but rather having a nice fun place for us to visit) were so patient and gracious. They ignored the behavior except to bring her a few more paper napkins and remove the ones covered in tomato sauce They knew they couldn't change her - so they didn't.
|My kid can be really picky about some things, so I understand picky kids. I've just never seen one quite like this.
But hey, she does it potatoes and carrots, which are healthy foods. I'll talk to her mom, and lay in a stock of the above items.
That's something. She won't starve on potatoes. You could even serve the exact kind she likes less when she's not there - so they're more of a treat for your family
|I'm still trying to figure out how to explain this to my dd though. I do consider it bad manners to refuse to eat a token amount of food at a house where one is visiting (assuming one isn't allergic to it or has some other health problem) and quite frankly don't want her imitating her friend on this one. It is reasonable to me for a guest to put one's own preferences in second place and to eat what is served them so that the host doesn't feel bad or feel like they have to prepare something else. This is not to criticize anyone who feels differently; I get that many of you are coming at this from the perspective of children have autonomy over their own bodies. I'm coming at it from a different perspective, and from my perspective I don't know how to explain this to my daughter except to say, "look, we both love [X] but don't do what she does in this area".
I personally agree with you - and on the approach I'll take with my own children.
But - your DD already knows that there are different rules in different circumstances. Think about any rule you have - not a major safety one - but one of the more minor ones. Is it the same at school? Is it the same if your DH is caring for the kids. For some things - the answer will be yes, and for others the answer will be no.
Let's take another eating related one. Let's say that you require that your DD sit properly in her chair while she's eating - so bum on the seat and feet on the floor. Let's say you were out for the evening and your DH was giving her supper. Is it possible that she might get away with curling a leg up underneath her? (My parents were BIG on the sitting properly rules...) I knew that at school no one cared less if I put my crusts in the garbage - but that would never fly at home.
But I do hear your concern... It SUCKED when we'd have a big family supper and I would have to eat "some" of everything offered and my cousin would have 1 thing on her plate. But I got through it. Although - I soon realized that my parents were actually much more relaxed about food rules when my cousin was around. I knew that it was a special 'treat' and it didn't impact how I behaved normally