***High Risk Mamas Support Thread*** - Page 10

[avivaelona]

I am so much more ok this pregnancy with just however anyone responds being ok. But I really get you soulshine and sage because last time around it just grated on me some of the things people said. Really made me NUTS. I think I'm a little better this time around with asking for what I need, and I'm not quite so terrified so there isn't as much emotion tied to it, so if someone says something stupid to me it rolls off more.

Would it help you more if people stayed focused on the point of it all Sage? I mean it may suck that you are in pain (and given how miserable I've been when the sciatica is bothering me, I know it must suck badly) but its not like its for no reason. If it would help maybe you can tell them that. It might help them focus on the positive.

I'm fine. Tired of being climbed on all day, tired of the sofa and the backyard, but otherwise ok.

ETA because I cross posted with Sage, I really don't think you should feel bad venting to us, everyone has their own load to carry and yours doesn't seem lighter to me. What about next time your mom asks if you slept well say "well no mom, sleeping has gotten pretty difficult, maybe you could come by with some dinner and take the girls out this afternoon? Its hard on them when I'm in pain."(or something similar) I think you really just do have to be direct with what you need because everyone will always assume you need stuff that you don't and totally miss what you do need...I was so angry and mad at MIL last time around for that reason. This time I am just extremely rudely blunt about what I want her to do and its working much better.

Oh and speaking of MIL I am bummed because one thing I did ask her to do was run an errand to get a particular chair I thought I could use to take to the park, and she did and even ran it down here to me tonight so I could have it sooner (1 hour round trip) and it just didn't work. Well darn, and I feel bad putting her out so badly when it didn't even work. At least she got to play with her grandchild.

[ChesapeakeBorn]

Oh, I am so frustrated for you Sage! Is it possible for you to talk to your mother and aunt about the type of support you need, what you need to hear, etc? In order to spare myself stress and pain, I have had to speak with my mom (who was calling every single day with "Are you bleeding?! Do you still have pregnancy symptoms?!" She stresses me out!!), and have had to tell her what I can and cannot talk about, the type of support I do need. I didn't want to cause issues with her, but I needed to keep myself calm. Her feathers were a bit ruffled, as she is a very defensive, controlling person, but she finally got the point. I am just wondering how your family members would respond...

Oh, and never ever feel badly about posting here!! I have never thought twice about your being here. Even if your condition is not causing the same type of danger as ours, you still have a very difficult pregnancy and deserve all the support you can get.

soulshine, I have had a little bleeding (brownish/rustish) each day for the past several days and am wondering why. I'll ask the peri what he thinks tomorrow. My daughter's party is on the 23rd - we'll see how things are going then. I hope I can go. And I am so excited for the Olympics! I have been waiting all summer because it will give me something interesting to watch (no cable/satellite for us). My favorites are the equestrian events, as I rode competitively for years before having my daughter, but I also love gymnastics and the random events that make you wonder, "Whoa! I didn't know that was a sport!".

[avivaelona]

Hey CB I was a rider too, what did you do competitively? I haven't competed since I was a kid, but I rode til my first pregnancy. (a little of this a little of that) My husband did combined driving with his morgan but we sold her when my son was born. She was really high maintenance. (so yeah the equestrian events are my fave's too) I'm vaguely interested in beach volleyball now because of a cousin that is competitive in the sport (I'm pretty sure she didn't make the olympic team though...I think we would have heard)

[ChesapeakeBorn]

Ooo! It's always fun to meet another horse person. I did mainly hunter/jumper throughout high school, then got into eventing and training while in college. I went through that grueling CHA training to get my Level III teaching certification and did a bit of that while training horses after college. Then I stopped when I found out I was pregnant with DD - life just got too hectic! I miss it though and would love to find a way to work it back into my life next year, just for fun and the therapeutic aspect of it.

[soulshine]

i love watching the dressage stuff. the jumping makes me nervous because i worry about those horsies! my sister was a horse girl, lots of blue, red, yellow, purple ribbons on her walls growing up... but i was allergic so i did gymnastics. but watching those horses walk sideways, and the little decorations in their manes and tales! very intriguing. my sister's horse was named 'simon sez' my niece is horsey, too- she has a horse named 'prince william'. the horses are all so humungous and have such an air about them- very different than dogs! horses are so so sensitive! so, in the olympics, do the riders fly in their horses?! they must... i wonder how that works...

anyway...
nothing going on here today. my mom is leaving for a night, so i'll be on my own!! i am sure everything will be fine, but i have become dependent on her for sure... thinking we should give this little boy her middle name, but i bet he wouldn't appreciate 'barbara' for a middle name... but really, i will have to find something very special for her for all of the help she is giving us (she is cleaning the floor as i type this...). any ideas?

sage, thanks for the insight about the 'perfect responses'... i think if i were near you i would like to give you some basic tlc... i wish your mom would step up to the plate a little more! maybe you could drop her a hint or two... 'so-and-so from online has the same thing as me but her mom is taking her kids a few days a weks to take the pressure off...'
and, btw, doesn't matter to me WHY the 4-5 of us are here on this thread- i have my days when i need the vent-space and i feel that you all don't mind, i certainly don't mind reading your words... i can relate to them, even a little, even though we are in different situations. *smooch*

chesapeake, so are you seeing your peri every 2 weeks? i totally lose track of time and can't remember these things! i think that we are having these bleeding days because the sch's are right near the cervix. i wish my doppler could tell me if my cervix is closed tight! all these worries! worried that baby hasn't kicked, then worried that baby is kicking my sch or cervix! iy-yi-yi!

aviva,
you sound like you are getting cabin fever!
here are some nice places to go to (in your mind) right now (well, let's all go!)
ahhh, horsies!
lets take a stroll up there...
let's put our feet in this river in new zealand
how about a glass of virtual wine at this parisian sidewalk cafe?
mmmm... one for each of us!
let's take a quick sail...
or maybe a gondola ride?
or snorkeling with the sea turtles?
or a turkish mud bath!
or rose petals! ahhhhh... very relaxing!
and back to the ultimate bed for bedrest.

how's that?!

well, that just killed a good hour of time! what to do, what to do...
has anyone started any crafty projects? i have not yet. wish i knew how to knit, this would be a great time for some baby knitting!

[ChesapeakeBorn]

oh, man, soulshine! You crack me up! I love the photo tour!

Funny you should ask about crafty projects, I just ordered a bunch of yarn yesterday to attempt my first baby project. I only know the knitting basics, so it should be interesting! But for my birthday I received two wonderful books about baby projects for knitting newbies so hopefully they'll guide me through it!

Yes, I see the peri every 2 weeks. Although this time it was only 1 week b/w visits - I have to go back this week b/c my progesterone supplies to take home hadn't come in. How often are you going?

And I get you about the worrying! On the rare occasion that this baby is napping, I worry that I haven't felt him in awhile. Then when he starts up again, I worry that he is opening the bleed again with all that craziness! :

[avivaelona]

OMG soulshine you crack me up. That does look like the ultimate bed for bedrest! Thanks for that, it was really appreciated. I did sneak out for a little while today and went to the library. It should have been a nice break but its like my son didn't remember how to behave while out or something...he was miserable and I ended up having to take him home before I got books for myself. I'm making my kid agoraphobic with all this "at home" time.

CB, since I used to live in Maryland I wonder if we even know some of the same horsey people. I think you would have been in college or shortly after while I was living there. Where are you in MD? I was just doing lesson barns though then, trying to get back into riding after a break during college.

Do you miss it at all? Its funny when I had DS I just stopped feeling like being around horses, and then around when he turned three I did start missing it a little. I bet when this baby comes the urge will go right out the door again though...something about being a mom to a baby just seems to make me not want to be around big unpredictable animals I guess no matter how much I love the big goofs.

My MIL has a mare and a baby mule and I never even want to go over and see them and it makes me feel weirdly guilty...it was such an important thing in my life for so long. But the wierd thing is my husband isn't very interested either and he also was really involved for a long time, I think we are just really focused elsewhere for the moment.

Do you think your kids will ride? I do want to have horses again someday but my son at least isn't currently hugely interested...he might be if he sees Daddy driving again.

[avivaelona]

PS, soulshine, good luck with knitting, last time around I thought bedrest would be the perfect time for learning to knit, and I got started and never finished the project, it turns out I'm just not into knitting. I didn't even try this time to get into any crafts I can't imagine it working while my son climbs on me

[ChesapeakeBorn]

Aviva....yeah, sometimes I really do miss riding. But I also agree with you about the dangers and being a mom. One of my teammates in high school died in a riding accident and I have seen a lot of nasty injuries over the years (...to people, few ever to the horses). That's why if I got back into it, I don't think I would do eventing. It makes DH very nervous because we are working with an animal, but I just laugh because he is a kiteboarder (just google some videos of that and you will see what I mean). I mean the wind is just as challenging to work with! When riding you just need to be able to read and communicate with the horse! Of course, that is not always foolproof...

Had another peri appointment today and we saw the baby sucking his thumb! I totally melted. It was soooooo adorable. Once again, he saw "significant improvement" and said again that there was no new blood. He also said this time that the SCH was "barely identifiable" (much much smaller). I guess that explains all the bleeding this week - it was old stuff draining out. Cervix is still long and closed.

Also got another shot in the butt. I noticed that since I had the progesterone shot last week, that I have had fewer contractions. So I asked him about that and he said that it can prevent contractions (and keep the cervix from shortening/dilating), but it won't stop them like terbutaline. However it works it has been nice to be worrying less!

[avivaelona]

wow that's great news CB...we are all hanging in there. (and can I say I'm really glad that Jennifer is fine and won't be joining us here...I love having you guys but we don't need any more members!)

[Sage_SS]

crap, what a day. I was ok this morning, I needed to bathe so opted for a bath over a shower. Showers totally sap all the energy out of me and baths are hard since my bathtub is so huge my hips have to move to keep me stable so I get sore. But my youngest daughter joined me in the bath and it wasn't bad at all. Getting dressed is quite hard, the whole lift one leg at a time deal is painful. I was putting on my skort and thought I broke my bones. It hurt so bad!
Then I went to my OB appt and I'm sure you al saw how that went. I've relieved myself of some of the stress about the cyst, but the growth on my placenta has me concerned. The placenta has so much work to do, I can't imagine that having to sustain a growth would be good for it. I'll call my OB tomorrow and see if I can get more answers.
I came home and my sister was waiting for us. It was great to spend the time with my niece, she's just over 3 weeks old and so darn cute! About half an hour after my sister got here, my friend got here with her sister and her sisters kids. My friend made a big pan of chicken enchiladas for dinner, which was really nice. But since everyone was in the pool, I had to go down the back stairs so I could sit outside with everyone, and after hurting myself getting dressed, the stairs were not nice to me. About an hour after my friend got here, my mom and brothers got here.
I was outside with everyone, but I just needed to look at my vegetable garden. So I walked backed there. Yes, I'm an idiot. I just wanted to see it tho, I planted it when I was pregnant, I had such loving high hopes, visions of spending time working the earth and growing food for our family. And I barely get to see it. Even better I have to ask my husband to do the work in it and he just LOVES gardening.
Needless to say, I barely made it back to the house. It's not that far from the house, but its at the bottom of our property. So I made it inside and then couldn't help but sit here and cry. In front of everyone. I was silent, but people noticed. Yes, I'm an idiot.
So now I've taken two painkillers and I'm sitting here.

I hope everyone else had a good day!

[ChesapeakeBorn]

Oh, sage, it sounds like that was quite a day! I wish it hadn't left you hurting so much. And, no you are not an idiot. We all have those moments when we want things to be normal so badly (like just going out to see the garden!) that we overdo it and then regret it.

I'm glad you got chicken enchiladas, though. Yum!!:

[Sage_SS]

THIS is the biggest issue I have with bedrest. I am BORED OUT OF MY MIND. Oh. My. God. I cannot tell you how bored I am. Well, I suppose I just did, but it doesn't clearly explain the depth of my boredom. I'm actually considering interesting things to do with pretzel sticks. Yes, pretzel sticks.
I have vowed to stay in bed all day today, my body needs the break from the extreme pain I've been causing myself by moving around.

But holey moley.....

[avivaelona]

it is dull. crafts are good, computers are good, tv is my friend, books magazines, books on tape if you cant sit and read and talking on the phone to people.

[soulshine]

kept meaning to post yesterday but never did!

hurray for chesapeake! that is the best news, don't you think?? i am actually jealous! i doubt my sch has gone away yet, i've had no serious bleeding/spotting in a few days. i wish it would though! and i am so glad to read that your cervix is cooperating and the shots are doing their thing. really good news!

sage,
how are you doing after the enforced rest day? i totally understand the desire to just do the normal things! i wanted to get a coffee when i was in town yesterday and the coffee place is a 1 minute walk up a hill, and i was thinking 'oh, no big deal, i can do it' but then i decided not to. but its such little things! i laughed when i read about your husband loving his gardening duties! too funny... maybe he will find an inner love that he never knew he had. what did you plant btw? i love gardening but since our business opened 6 years ago, i havn't had the time- well, i tried one year but it basically turned into a weed-filled buffet for our local buck

aviva,
what's going on? are you getting this crappy rain/cold that we are having in maine? sheesh! it is sunny this morning so i am hilding out some hope for a blue sky day.

ok, did you all see the opening of the olympics? i only saw a little- the athletes marching into the stadium.. and then the lighting of the torch... that was so funny with the guy flying thru the air! i like seeing the tiny countries ' athletes coming in, like all 3 of them... compared to the 100's from larger countries... and i cheered when 'suriname' came in... my dog is from suriname! and then slovakia... husband is slovak... and then all the little island nations... they all looked so happy to be there, compared to the larger nation's athlete's, who some looked a little bored and tired! also, i didn't like how the announcers politicized everything. sometimes they even sounded snarky! oh well... let the games begin (for my viewing pleasure!)

i am 20wk1d today!! so happy inside for making it this far... i have been waiting so very very long to be '20wks'. it was a mental milestone, i didn't even realize it until yesterday and i thought about it all day, even had a terrible dream the night before that woke me up in tears... but all seems well.

oh, i forgot... sage, i am sorry you had such a crap experience with your dr./ u/s again. did you ever call back to find out more details?

anyone have any big plans for the weekend?

[Sage_SS]

My garden has corn, peppers, snow peas, sugarsnap peas, carrots, cauliflower, broccoli, celery, kohlrabi, butter lettuce, romaine lettuce, bush beans, cucumber, canteloupe, watermelon and pumpkin.

No plans for the weekend. Sending hubby on a shopping errands. I'm tired of little food, or food that needs to be prepared. I'm gonna have to give on my whole rule about preprepared foods for the duration of this pregnancy. The girls need foods they can just pull out and eat. Sadly with no support from my family nutrition is going to suffer.

My OB isn't in on Fridays so I'll have to wait until Monday.

I'm watching the Olympics!

[avivaelona]

I'm watching olympic stuff off and on. Sage that stinks about having to give up on preparing food but it really is only for a short while, their overall nutrition will be ok. Your garden sounds amazing, I'm so not a gardener, we tried it the first year we were here and it was a big failure. We joined a CISA Farm instead, and it has been awesome but I still every once in a while get the urge to try again myself, maybe once this babe is a little older. What are bush beans btw?

Today was our farm share day and I had a little bit of a hard time...going to the farm share is one of the few outings I allow myself, I go and just get the veggies from the share room and then sit in the sun, while my husband and son go down to the field and do the U-pick. Today though there were two pregnant women who were obviously a bit further along than me and they were headed down to pick too. I was so jealous. I really love taking my son there and picking with him, and my husband just doesn't get that into it, he kind of just goes and picks and my son runs wild. Of course, if I'm lucky all will go well and maybe by the very end of the farm share in October I'll be able to waddle out to the fields for a short time. If I had to pick the one thing though that I feel like I've missed out on this summer because of the bedrest it would be picking at the farm share...more even than having missed our yearly trip to the beach in Maine.

Speaking of which, Soulshine, no its not cold here, but we have gotten a ton of rain and there was actually a tornado twice just south of us, both times though we've been ok. Where in Maine are you? What kind of dog is from Suriname?

We watched part of the opening ceremonies and I taped the rest when it repeated so I hope to watch that part tonight. I had mixed feelings about a lot of it...the world feels so politicized to me right now and the olympics are so different in some ways than they were when I was a child, but its always touching to see those little countries. The announcer at one point annoyed me when they said some tiny country had never won a medal. I was like "dude, they have less people in their whole country than in a small American City and they managed to find three athletes to send? Who cares if they win a medal!"

I watched a little of the eventing dressage today and then some sport called handball that looked like soccer except they threw the ball. I kept cruising all the names of the foreign athletes they put up...looking for a name for this baby

[soulshine]

too funny about cruising the names! i do that to, but then i realize that 'igor' just doesn't fly for a name around here (although if i really loved it i would use it, but... you know, gotta think about the tease-factor in grade school...).

i missed the dressage. what channel are you watching it on- are they on more than just regular old nbc? i watched some bicycle racing and swimming. i get those mixed feelings too... any time there is a big party at the same time as a lot of world is suffering, it is hard to get into the spirit of things, yet, for most of these athletes, the political climate in the world is separate from their dreams and talents... mixed feelings.

ok, our dog was born in suriname- she is a mixed breed, probably mostly terrier. my sister was with her boyfriend on a peace corps stint, living in a saramakan river village, and someone had given another one of the p.c.volunteers a paper bag, inside was a puppy rescued from the street in paramaribo, and this puppy had puppies, one of which my sister took care of, and somehow i ended up with her! she has some issues! saramakans do not keep dogs as pets, so sally doesn't like little boys with sticks/spears (2 of her littermates were killed this way ), or snakes (2 of her littermates were eaten by an anaconda!). she is very smart and sweet, she'll be 8 this year. i also have 2 other dogs.

i think with a new baby, she will be very protective and want to 'run the show'... she is very alert and observant, so i imagine she will be like 'alert! alert! the baby has poo in his diaper! alert!' and 'code red! code red! the baby is now awake and needs immediate attention!'. i am hoping there will be no issues! all the dogs are submissive/beta to my husband, so what he says/shows will go. not too worried about it, although it should be interesting! i know our golden retriever mix will be more than happy to be the 'baby cleaner'! 'mmmmm... smashed peas? let me clean those little fingers for you!'

we're on the mid-coast, downeast region of maine. think national park and there we are. where do you take your family vacation each year?

when i used to plant a garden, i did summer squash, pole beans, tomatoes, lettuce, beets, and a pumpkin. my mom put in some things but it is looking a little weedy out there!

sage, your garden sounds impressive! corn! hardly anyone plants corn around here.

aviva, i am sorry you had to watch those other pregnant ladies walk on by... this time next year it will be a very different wonderful time! baby in sling, helping you do the u-pick!

[avivaelona]

I love Mid-coast Maine...so pretty but a little far for us to drive easily. We go to Ogunquit, its really my MIL's vacation, she met someone at work that had a vacation house there, and insisted that we rent it for a week. Now she wants to go back every year. Its fun, but its not quite a vacation for me always. The beach there is really great for little kids though and its not too long a drive for us.

Apparently when he was a kid DH and family used to go up to somewhere around Bath and go camping each year so maybe when the kids are a bit older we can convince MIL to move back up the coast.


That's neat about your dog's story, I hope she bonds with the baby. Having a baby diaper alarm system might not be a bad thing

We have direct TV so the Olympics is on various NBC stations including some like "Oxygen" and direct TV set up a guide so you can see what channel things are on.

[avivaelona]

I'm spotting a little this AM. Bleh. I don't like that. I have an ultrasound appointment tomorrow morning anyway so I'm just going to try to hang in there til then.

I have a name thread up to try and distract me but the question is so complicated no one is answering.