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***High Risk Mamas Support Thread*** - Page 4

post #61 of 849
Thread Starter 
soulshine - Oh, I am so with you on the doppler. I got mine last month (after swearing I'd never do that). I figure the anxiety is worse than a few seconds of ultrasound energy every now and then.

Okay, so what you peri said is pretty much in keeping with all of the info and research I have gathered. That is the frustrating thing about SCHs: there is nothing you can do about them and they could bleed again. Sometimes the placenta will detach slightly (or more but we won't think about that) and they can see it on an ultrasound, so that is why he mentioned that it could cause an abruption. And the blood is an irritant to the uterus and can, in extreme cases, compress the sac causing PROM.

But here is the important thing: Right now, our babies are not affected by this. They are growing healthy and strong so this means that at this point our placentas are not compromised by the bleed. My peri said I could and probably would bleed again, and we already knew that since I have had 4 major bleeds so far. In between the bleeds I usually just have very old drainage, but every now and then I have some more recent old stuff, so I kinda know that I am bleeding mildly from time to time too. It is frustrating. You just want the area to heal and the SCH to go away. I have resigned myself to the fact that maybe it won't go away, but as long as baby continues to thrive and I make it to this fall (and hopefully to December), I am okay.

My peri did not give me measurements this time because they don't seem to matter in my case. My SCH is growing and shrinking all of the time. He did show me exactly where the accumulated blood was in relation to the gestational sac (for me it is under the sac and over my cervix) and in relation to the placenta (it is touching one edge so we know it must be bleeding from that edge). He also showed me the placenta, which he said looked "great" despite all of this - no bleeding behind it. So hopefully, God willing, the area that is bleeding will not cause the placenta to lift away any in the future. Overall, my peri was honest, but hopeful. He said he does see this a lot, usually it turns out just fine, and he thinks we will be okay - even with an SCH the size of mine (big). I know there is nothing guaranteeing that I will have a good outcome, but his knowledge and experience with the subject and his honest gut feelings about my case were very reassuring to me.

Where did your peri say your SCH is? Did he comment on your placental attachment? As far as bedrest is concerned, you really just have to figure out what works best for your body. Some women bleed more on bedrest, some bleed less. I know I bleed some regardless, but I am more comfortable doing this so I guess I'll stick to it.

Hugs. I know this is frustrating and I'm not sure if I said anything to make it better. If you ever want to chat by phone about it, just PM me for my number. Having support makes a big difference.
post #62 of 849
thanks for replying so fast chesapeakeborn!

ok, so now, i have another question.
there is the sch- which is the actual 'bleed'...
is this an active, fresh entity, or a collection of old blood, or is it a clot.

then, there is where it touches the placenta...
does the placenta bleed because the sch is irritating it? why or how does the sch get underneath it to cause an abruption?

then, there is the accumulated blood, which is the fresh blood that comes from the placenta bleeding... that is a whole separate issue, right? is that the blood that is coming out in the form of 'old' blood spotting? or is the stuff that comes out directly shedding from the sch? or s it coming from the placenta?

i wonder how long this accumulated blood takes before it starts to cause issue for the baby, like what you wrote about the sac collapsing?

my sch started at 8wks at 2-3cm, it was long and skinny. then no one said if it grew or shrunk. but today, it was 6cm . i was really hoping it would be smaller than that. 6cm sounds freaking huge, much bigger than what i would classify a 'small to medium' sch. the baby was like 7-8cm, so the baby is bigger, but the sch is big too!

big sigh. the peri said the placenta is on the back top wall of the uterus and looks healthy. he didn't mention any abruption, and on the u/s screen, the placenta looked nice and 'light' there were no dark areas behind or inbetween it and the wall, although he didn't say that, i was looking for it and forgot to ask about it right then. then, the baby is of course next to the placenta, cord looked great, etc. then i think the sch is next to and below the placenta, toward the bottom near the cervix. it sounds like yours? is mine gigantic compared to yours?

i am waiting for my regular ob to get back from vacation tomorrow, and he will review the u/s report with his nurse, and she will call me either tomorrow night or wednesday with his particular take on it, which i doubt will be any different or amazing.

so, we are trying to get it so i work 3)4 hour days a week, and a few times when i go in for 1.5hours to get the staff in line! then, modified bedrest.

so, any answers or opinions you have to the above would be appreciated!

on a side note, i am so envious of anyone who is having a normal trouble free pregnancy. i was so looking forward to the frivolous aspects of pregnancy- the big pretty belly, the maternity clothes, the dreaming... and am finding it difficult to go there because i am constantly thinking about the freaking sch. so, poor me. i will be so happy (understatement of the century) in 24 weeks when this has passed and i am holding this baby on the outside! but now, i am wondering 'will i even make it to my 39wk cesarean or am i going to have prom and have a really early baby in the nicu?' its scary stuff.

its not all bad though. there are fleeting moments when i do get the frivolous stuff... checking out the baby bump in the mirror... thinking about maybe ordering this cute dress online... i don't know. my mom is coming today and i will be happy to see her! sometimes you just need your mom.
post #63 of 849
Thread Starter 
Okay, so in response to your questions.... There are two main types of SCH: a) one that occurs between the baby's sac and the placenta or b) one that originates from the interface of the placenta and your uterus. The later is more common. When this type happens, there is usually a very small separation or tear of some sort that causes it (too small to be seen on u/s). It could even be that your uterus has some scar tissue and the placenta is just having a hard time attaching to that spot. An SCH could also happen as a result of a clot there - blood in the vessels or capillaries behind the clot builds up and then bursts. However, I think this is not the usual cause (I know, you are thinking "Is this b/c of the MTHFR mutation?" Not likely. As long as your homocysteine levels were normal, then you shouldn't have clotting like that). No one knows yet exactly how or why these things get started. I was already on pelvic rest, for instance, so how could I have gotten a tear? Maybe I have some scar tissue from my IUD or from where DD's placenta was attached? Was it because I was on aspirin? Is it related to my daughter's IUGR? Who knows.

Anyways, because it is a very vascular area, you can have large bleeds like you and I have had. With this type of SCH, there is nowhere for the blood to go but into your uterus. Eventually, if enough builds up in there it will be forced through your cervix - then we see the blood (and unfortunately I can even feel the cervical and rectal pressure from it). So the blood that is in your uterus is the remnants of hemorrhage, so this is what they measure and call an SCH. It can have old blood and clotting and/or some new blood if the area that was hemorrhaging has not totally healed. Over time this blood is either absorbed by your body or expelled in the form of yucky discharge (of varying color depending on how active the bleeding spot is). At the moment, it sounds like our SCHs are similar in size (I'm talking about whatever blood is left in there).

Now, it can happen that the pressure from all that blood in there builds up so that it actually lifts the edge of the placenta. Or it could be that the placenta is abrupting a bit anyway. It is hard to tell. Kind of like a case of "which came first: the chicken or the egg?". But it can also just be that there is an area which chronically bleeds and doesn't have such ramifications.

I totally totally understand what you are talking about when it comes to mourning a trouble-free pregnancy. I so loved being pregnant with DD. That pregnancy was a cake walk - I didn't go on bedrest until 33 weeks! Strangely, I kind of knew that I wouldn't have it easy this time. Nevertheless, when I first started bedrest at 6 weeks, I was super angry and depressed. Somehow, that got better as the days went by. I guess I was just so grateful to still be pregnant with each day, even if I didn't know what the next day held. But I still have my rough days, usually a couple times a week. If I start to bleed again, or feel that pressure from something building up in there, I think "Haven't I been through enough already?!" And then I have a little pity party and miss all the things I could be doing as a carefree pregnant person. For the longest time I was completely numb as a self-defense mechanism. Now, it is a strange balance of trying to stay in the now so I don't freak about the what-ifs, and looking forward to the future milestones while letting myself enjoy this pregnancy as best I can.

I'm glad your mom is coming to be with you! Let me know if any of my rambling doesn't make sense.
post #64 of 849
yes! alot of it makes more sense now. i was confused as the whether the sch IS the big black orb on the u/s machine, or if that is the accumulated blood that came from the tear/rift/wrinkle. from what i got of what you wrote, the sch is the cause of all that blood. wait, i am changing that... the sch is just a big blob of accumulated blood... and it came from some unknown/unseen source that may or may not continue to be bleeding, making the sch larger? so, who knows why i started bleeding and then it all pooled up and made a clot and, what, then it just snowballs? you would think that walking around might be a good thing, to get rid of some if that blood? i was more 'active' yesterday and today and i definately am having brown spotting because of it. ah, and now i understand why they can grow and shrink... if they are growing, you are probably bleeding from the original spot/tear/whatever, and when they shrink, they are either being reabsorbed or bleeding out... i hate sch!!!

i am going to have to read your last post again. it is nice to be able to have a back and forth about it because the dr.s so far have been vague, or maybe i havn't asked the right questions...

you know, i can 'feel' the sch too. it feels 'heavy' down there. when i start to worry about that, i think, 'my cervix is nice and long, and closed, and the baby is healthy and safe'.

you have been on bedrest for a very long time! there must be times when you feel a wee bit kookoo?! i had 1 week and that last day i was bonkers. i just wanted to DO something! what are you doing? are you sleeping alot? does your daughter get in bed with you and hang out?

this peri also said at this point, he didn't think my body would reabsorb the blood, esp. because i had a big bleed. did your's comment on that?

one more thing... i had no idea there was a hematoma that was a type between baby and placenta! what happens then? that must be from a tear on top of the placenta?

thank you so much for sharing all that! you have become an expert! i applied for the sch yahoo group, waiting to hear back.

so, i got out to got to the u/s today, and i was so happy to be OUT! i kept commenting to husband 'look at how pretty that lawn is!' 'look at those trees over there!' and he was like 'yeah? so?'! listen buddy, all i've seen the last week is the bathroom and a tv screen... and, i got to have a giant decaf on the ride there, and one on the way back!! ah, life's small pleasures.

you know, i was thinking that the sch may have started from a failed implantation of one of the embryos we transferred. i had no scar tissue to start with, so that's all i can think.

alright, only ONE more question... do you know if the baby's kicking can aggravate the sch? jeez, i am full of questions tonight! thanks again
post #65 of 849
I just wanted to say that I'm here and reading and cheering you guys on, but just feeling very quiet and not much like posting. Everything is fine, though bedrest with a three year old is being tricky, I just have not felt much like talking for a few days. I'm keeping up though and glad everyone is hanging in there.
post #66 of 849
Thread Starter 
So glad to "see" you aviva! Thank you for tolerating our SCH banter. Has anyone heard from sage? I hope she is doing well.

soulshine, i did go kookoo in the beginning. But it gets better. You get used to it. I spend most of my time working on my dissertation. I've read some books, but I get addicted to whatever book I am reading and then I don't do my work, so I have to stick to nonfiction kinda stuff like, "10 Days to a Less Distracted Child" (my latest). I have gotten waaaay sick of TV, but I will turn it on in the evening sometimes. We don't have cable so I have a choice of 4 channels. Sometimes if I really need a mental distraction, I'll download a movie from netflix. Oh, and I am supposed to be dealing with all of our health insurance claims, but I have been putting that off. I sometimes take a quick nap. I have two sunny windows in my bedroom and sometimes I just stare at the world outside. DD goes to camp at our local YMCA, so she is not here during the day, but in the evening she will climb in bed together and practice reading.

my peri didn't comment on whether I would reabsorb the bleed or not. He mentioned it draining some. I too was thinking it would be good to be up on my feet some to allow that to happen. Then I discovered (from going to doctor's appointments) that I need to be up for at least an hour or two in order for it to drain significantly. Not sure why. Maybe because my cervix is closed so tightly it takes that long for it to work through. Or maybe being up is causing me to bleed a little more and the pressure builds up and then it comes through (which wouldn't be helping any).

Your theory about the failed implantation could be accurate. At first they thought my bleed was from a twin that didn't make it. My hCG at first was really high (twin levels), so it very well could have been. Maybe the lining where that twin was is different and this baby's placenta is having a hard time right there. One thing is for sure - it is definitely more than just miscarrying a twin. I have had 3 miscarriages and I never bled this much. So that tells us it is coming from a vascular area.

About baby's kicking - I have worried about the same thing. I am more concerned about it being an issue further on in the pregnancy when the baby is stretching and pushing. I never asked the peri though and I'm sure they wouldn't really be able to tell us much about that.

It's funny - I have the same reaction when I go out. I'm like "Wow. It's summer! Look at all that green!" But I don't enjoy being out because I am so worried about bleeding. And after all this bedrest, I have little stamina and get worn out and uncomfortable pretty quickly. Summer is my favorite season - sailing, windsurfing, hiking, etc - so it is hard to miss it. But then I just think about how joyous it will be next summer to share it with a baby!! This is temporary.

Oh, my report on Jennifer Bloome's Bedrest Meditation CD (from the anji site)! I love love love LOVE it! I am a very detail oriented person and her imagery is very detailed so that is great. It really helps me stay focused and my mind wandered a lot less compared to other guided meditations I have tried. And her pace is nice and slow. I have found with some meditations that when they ask you to do a body scan, they don't give you much time, so I'm lying there thinking "Ok, now feet, now legs, oh wait! She's moving on! Okay, stomach, neck, head!" But the pace was perfect with this one. I didn't get all the way through because I was listening to it when I had turned in for the night and started to fall asleep. Next time I'll start it earlier.

Hope everyone has a good day today!
post #67 of 849
hey, thanks for the 'thumbs up' on that cd...
i am laughing because her ivf cd's were so relaxing, more often than not i would fall asleep before the 'good stuff'. i think i will order it.

today, i get to go to work! for 1.5 hours . all sitting down, and my mom will be there, so any emergencies will be covered. i am going to try to ease a little movement into my life. i think i like the idea of actually trying to get the old blood out am little- isn't it weird to think that you would want to bleed?!

thanks for popping in. i hope you're doing alright, and i don't think there's any harm in going inward! everything in moderation, and if you need to do it, you do it and then eventually you move on!

chesapeakeborn, what is your dissertation on?
post #68 of 849
just checking in to see how you all are doing?

i got the word on 2+ more weeks of bedrest from the ob. no work, either.

any updates?
post #69 of 849
None really hear soulshine, just hanging out on the sofa, Wednesday I had a midwife visit, and we threw in some other errands with it and that was a bad idea, I came home tired and spent all of Thursday feeling crampy and achy. So I do really need to take it easy at this point.

Sorry about the further bedrest for you, but better to rest than to worry that you caused some problem. The no work thing is hard I'm sure, try not to go crazy about it though, not everything is in our control.

I want to try those CD's too.
post #70 of 849
Thread Starter 
Just kinda quiet over here. I have bled in the middle of the night the past two nights - not heavy, but not really light either. So strange. Why the middle of the night? I'm lying down most of the day, so how is it different?

I saw my new OB yesterday - just chit chat, but I like her. It is a great personality match. She really explains things scientifically for me and that is how I operate. And I trust her. She went to Duke for med school and residency and has been practicing since 1979 so she has lots of experience, unlike my other OB. I know all this stuff shouldn't matter, but when you are dealing with a condition that few people can explain, it is nice to have someone so experienced and knowledgeable.

How is everyone else doing? Blair and sage, I hope you guys are holding steady. Sorry to hear about the bedrest, soulshine. How are you feeling? Aviva, I get crampy when I am up and about too (for drs appts). It scares me and I just can't wait to get back and lie down. Hang in there, bed rest buddies.
post #71 of 849
sigh, I'm spotting

crossing fingers (and legs) that its nothing, but its scary.
post #72 of 849
hope all is well with everyone.

pretty non-eventful around here, which is good. although i have been noticing some really strong bh contraactions. i think it's from dehydration but it definately makes me worry a little, being that preterm labor is a complication of previa. yikes.
post #73 of 849
drink more Blair! We can worry together.
post #74 of 849
i noticed some contracting today too. i think it is just so freaking hot here no matter how much water i drink it is evaporating just as fast! i really hope they have subsided and that you are feeling better.

it is scary, and hopefully NOTHING.

nothing really to report here. spotting brown everyday, but in a way this is good to get rid of some of the sch i suppose... no new red blood which is wonderful. 1.5wk until next u/s to check on baby and sch. i feel like i have learned so much about sch in this last week that i am really interested in seeing any changes in there- hopefully the good kind. also finding out if there's a little wiener on this baby, or not! in any case, it will be a big u/s. 15wk4d today

chesapeakeborn? sage? how are you both hanging in there?
post #75 of 849
Thread Starter 
aviva: It is scary. But it is also very common to spot during pregnancy, so just tell yourself that. Are you going to see a HCP?

blair: I have times when I am a bit crampy and it always makes me nervous. I've started having some tightening now and then too, which I guess it more like BH (from what I can remember with DD). And I know I am well hydrated. It would be nice for things to be calm and uneventful down there.

soulshine: Glad to hear you are doing well! Can't wait to hear about your u/s.

I go to the peri for a scan tomorrow. I always get soooo nervous and emotional before these appointments.
post #76 of 849
Turns out I have a marginal placenta previa. Which I know is not the biggest deal, but yeesh, didn't I already have enough to worry about?

CB I know whatyou mean about the Peri appts. Hoping for all good news for you.

Soulshine I hope it keeps going smoothly for you.
post #77 of 849
sorry to hear that aviva, but there's still alot of time for it to resolve. i know, i know... like you haven't been through enough though right? hang in there!
post #78 of 849
Originally Posted by soulshine View Post
do you see an acupuncturist? i have been seeing one for the IF and now thru this pregnancy, and i just wondered if there is anything that acupuncture can do to help with either the actual condition or relieving the pain. i told mine about a friend who had migraines theu her first trimester and the acupuncturist was like 'oh, that's because of (blahblahblah) and its too bad because that is easily treated with acu.'. so, i was thinking maybe that could be helpful for you in some way? its terrible that you have this pain. sorry if any of that was redundant to what you already know or have done/tried... just thinking about you.
I have not tried an acupuncturist. I have been trying to not allow any thoughts about it. I'll have to look into it. Hopefully mobility will not be an issue.
Originally Posted by ChesapeakeBorn View Post
Sage, how are you? Any more pain?
CB (and Soulshine) can one of you please explain to me what SCH is? I've now read through all the posts, except the first page, and this sounds so awful. I'm anemic already, I'd be totally screwed with something like this.

Originally Posted by avivaelona View Post
Turns out I have a marginal placenta previa. Which I know is not the biggest deal, but yeesh, didn't I already have enough to worry about?
Ack, so sorry to hear aviva! I really hope you can keep your mind off problems or pain, try to be distracted.

How is everyone's bedrest going? I'm so sorry I've been absent. I've been trying to pretend like I shouldn't be here, I've been so selfish in my determination to not be doing this. I'll be here more and more often.

Its happening. I'm 19 weeks. The last few days I've been trying to ignore the pain in my pelvis, but I've finally had to realize that I'm being an idiot. I can't ignore it, I'll end up seriously hurting myself.
I told my hubby about it, you guys convinced me. He was less concerned than I thought he'd be. I'm a bit confused but I think he's trying to do the same thing I was and just pretend its a non issue yet. I haven't told him about the pain for the last few days. I'll have to tomorrow.
Ugh, this sucks. Bedrest sucks. I hate it. I can't tell you how much I hate it. Everything hurts and quality of life goes down the drain.

Here's what I discovered from my last two terms of bedrest. There are necessities, such as movies- lots. Candies and snacks. A cooler of cool drinks beside you so you don't have to call someone everytime you're thirsty. If any of you are anything like me you'll start to feel like dead weight and just stop asking for help or assistance. If you have a game system, move it into your bedroom. If you like crafting, put your supplies right beside you. It might be best to get some kind of temporary shelf beside you that you can reach. On it you can keep a variety of books or magazines, games, candies and snacks, kids books (so you can feel like you're SOME kind of parent still) etc...
I'm going to start finding something I can use.

I'm really apprehensive about talking to my husband about this. I'm sure you all understand what bedrest is and the stress and depression that comes with it. This is my third time at this dance. I was so sure, so (*&%$# positive this wouldn't happen to me again that I told everyone. Now I feel like a let down, like a fraud. Like I tricked everyone into thinking I'll be better this time. Me on bedrest means that my husband has to be choosy about the work he accepts (he's a stunt man in the film industry and of course, this is the busiest time for his work), it means that my daughters summer is going to be alot different than I had planned. It means that we'll save the money on those hiking shoes I wanted to get. It means that now my hubby will be stressed and worried every time he leaves our house. It means that I need someone here to help with meals and no one in my family is supportive.

My pelvic hurts and my heart is so damn sad. I so don't want to do this. I'm pissed off and angry. We have plans to go camping with my aunt and cousins the first week of Aug. I will not stop us from going, but going with me now is going to be a whole different ball game. This sucks. I'm sorry guys...
post #79 of 849
Sage I'm so very sorry, it does suck and I have cried about all the things DS is missing out on this summer. We are also having a horrible time getting DH to work frequently enough ... we don't have family that can help nearby and no childcare (I have PTSD issues about leaving son, which we are working on, but I still can't leave him with non-family) and there are too many days where I am needing him to take time off so I can go to the doctor, or sleep.

It feels like forever now, but in the end its just a few months and we all will get through it. There will be other summers, and other times to do what we are missing out on now. Hang in there, we are all here to listen.
post #80 of 849
Thread Starter 
aviva, sorry to hear about the previa, but it still can move! I'm glad the spotting was nothing more.

Oh, sage, I am so so sorry to hear that the pain has started. I was so hoping you would be spared. I too was depressed and angry when I first went on bedrest at 6 weeks. I was sad about putting everything on my husband, sad about the impact on my daughter, sad about missing out on all the summer activities like sailing and hiking, sad about lying in bed for 7.5 months, sad about going through this while not being sure if my baby would even make it. That is why we have this thread - so you can come here and let it all out. I can tell you though that the sadness and anger has faded away as time rolls on. There are still rough days, but the whole is considerably better. Each day we are getting closer and closer to holding our babies. Don't ever feel badly for venting or taking a break from the thread. Sometimes we all need to do that.

(Oh, and to answer your question, an SCH is a collection of blood caused by a sometimes chronic hemorrhage from the placenta/uterus interface.)
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