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***High Risk Mamas Support Thread*** - Page 38

post #741 of 849
Ugh, well that didn't last long. My last crying spell was the worst, I was actually getting scared that I couldn't stop. It took a couple of hours before I could breathe again. As long as I don't talk, the tears don't threaten to flow again. I have fallen apart. I'm on the edge of a precipice, my eyes are so swollen from crying so hard all day and night I can barely see. I am fully exhausted, and still starving to death. I can't eat when I'm stressed out. But I can still be hungry. My stomach really hurts from this stress. I told my husband that I understand that he is frustrated as well, but I just can't deal with it right now so I asked him to stay out of our room and leave me alone. Actually I had to text that to him because I was crying to hard to speak. Instead he came up and hasn't left. Except to get me a new box of kleenex.

I'm going to the hospital in a couple of hours for some pain meds. I am going to try really hard not to cry between now and then, I'm really scared that I won't be able to stop again. I hate that feeling. I only have two days left, I have to be able to hang in that long right?

I barely slept last night and for the few mins I did, I had a nightmare. Of course. I have to be able to keep it together for a couple more days. I started wondering today about depression, not a good sign. I can't be depressed at the very end like this. I can hang in there all this time, and disintegrate right before the finish line? That doesn't seem right. Shiza, this wouldn't even be called postpartem depression, I'm not post anything!! I don't know what I need even, sleep probably. Pain relief. Food. All of it is so temporary. The pain meds give me about 4 hours of sleep, then the pain is back. I could eat all day I think, were I not so stressed out like this. If I were a bird, I'd be bald. My body keeps doing that shuddering thing.
post #742 of 849

Try not to focus on the "what ifs." They can eat you up at this stage. Focus on taking care of yourself. Right now that's sleep because with that you will be less stressed and able to eat. Some depression is going to be totally normal but you really may be a brand new person in just a few days. Get through these hours right now and see what things hold next week.

Four hours of sleep is everything when compared to no sleep at all. Is it possible just in the next two days to get a dose in the evening and another one in the morning so that you can possibly get two rounds of four hours of sleep?

post #743 of 849
Girl you gotta eat something. Make yourself no matter how stressed and tired and nauseous you are. You are depressed and exhausted so no wonder the hormones are getting you but you also sound LOW blood sugary...the not being able to stop crying. Eat, get pain meds and sleep, two more days of pain meds are NOT going to hurt Lucien but having a mama who can't function might. Its less than 48 hours now, you can make it, you got through 9 months, for 48 hours you can count the seconds if you have to.
post #744 of 849
I seriously just want to come hold you. I couldn't imagine the pain, mentally and physically, you are going through. And I know that NOTHING anyone can say will make it better. I wish I could carry the pain for you Sage.

I to you for being so strong.

Just hold it for a few more days. Cry your eyes out until they are swollen shut if it makes you feel better. Just imagine how AMAZING and perfect your little boy will be when he comes out.
post #745 of 849
My son will be removed from the premises in just over 20 hours. Its surreal to me that this will all end. He will be in our arms tomorrow.

Thank you guys for all your love, kindness, compassion, encouragment and support. Honestly, from the bottom of my heart, I could not have done this without you.

I slept last night. I feel more energized today, tho today my goal is to sleep as much as possible. I have to get our bag packed for the hospital. Lucien will be full term so hopefully he won't spend any time in the NICU. I know they'll put him in there in the beginning because they'll want to monitor for any effects from the demerol and possibly because I have GD? I don't know what they do for GD babies. They've told me that I'll probably be there for 3 days for recovery. I'll have to wait and see.
post #746 of 849
sage, sweets, its almost over! try to relax in the next 20 hrs and give sweet lucien as mellow a vibe to come into the world with as possible. let people take care of you. YOURE SO CLOSE!!!!!!
post #747 of 849
Sage I'll be thinking of you, I hope you get some sleep tonight. Let us know how it goes as soon as you are able.

Lucien bring some light to your momma, she's waiting for you
post #748 of 849
Congrats again Selena!!! I loved your birth story, Cameron is adorable too!

Sage, so glad tomorrow is the day for you! Just take things one moment at a time. You can do this!

Sara, good luck on your labor decision. I wonder if they could get the epidural in place and not give you any, or much of any, medication through it? Maybe it would give you the best of both worlds! I don't know exactly how they work, but I think they are adjustable somehow.

Have a good night everyone!

post #749 of 849
Sending you tons and tons of good vibes Sage!! :
I'll be thinking of you tomorrow. Can't wait to hear Lucien's birth story!

AFM, things are going okay. The PSD is still really a problem. My ob gave me tylenol with codeine but honestly, they don't do anything. Sadly I'm basically on self-imposed bed rest (well, chair rest, since laying down is painful). The good news is that I've had a couple of really good nights in a row where I was able to get in some real sleep. What a difference that makes--even a few hours!

Also, on Monday I had an echocardiogram on my heart. My heart condition is what landed me in a high-risk practice in the first place, and we were really worried that it was going to be a problem, but so far I've been doing really well and haven't had many symptoms of congestive heart failure. The echo is my first since I've gotten pregnant, and it will show if my heart is dilated or weakened (the test would show it before the symptoms would). I haven't gotten the results yet, but they didn't call me right away, so I'm taking that as a good sign . I asked the echo tech how things looked but of course they're not allowed to say anything so he was very noncommital. He did say, "well there's a bit of a leaky valve" which is no surprise--it's been leaky since I was diagnosed, and I could see that for myself on the ultrasound screen. At the end I really wanted to grab the ultrasound wand and put it on my belly to get a glimpse of the baby, but I refrained . Any vibes for good test results would be greatly appreciated.
post #750 of 849
: Shelby on your test results!

: Sage on a great labor and delivery! So excited for you to finally meet Lucien today!

post #751 of 849
Yay, Sage had Lucien! Birth announcement is in the sticky. I hope recovery isn't too slow and the pain dissappears quickly. I'm so happy for her.

Shelby how sid your tests go?
post #752 of 849
Congrats to Sage! I'm so glad Lucien is here safely!

It looks like I may be headed into labor. We'll see. We've made it almost a week since my water broke, which is pretty good considering 80% of moms give birth in the first week after pprom. I'm trying to trust my body. I've started to have a little fever and both me and baby's pulse are up a little, so these may be signs of an infection starting. Which means it's the right time to have this baby...
post #753 of 849
Yay Sage! :

Good luck Sara! 1 week is fantastic. Great job! Tons of good vibes for an easy delivery :

I haven't gotten my test results from the echocardiogram, so I'm assuming no news is good news. I figure if something is wrong, they'll call right away. My next scheduled appointment isn't until Thursday (week from today) so I assume I'll get the results then.

The PSD seems to be getting worse . I wonder if the baby is moving down into position because there seems to be more pressure in my pelvic area than there was before. I'm okay when in a sitting/reclined position, but as soon as I stand it's awful, and walking is horrible. I feel so helpless just sitting here when I have so much to do .
post #754 of 849
So many vibes Sara, we are all here with you. Hang in there little Zephan, you can do this.

Shelby, ouch. I'm sorry. Not too much longer to go, but I wish it were more comfortable.

I'm awake for some reason at 4 am, nothing is wrong I just woke up. irritating because I'll be tired later and its doubtful that J. will let me nap.
post #755 of 849
Congrats Sage!!!!:

Sara, great job hanging in there so far! Good vibes : for an easy labor and avoiding issues with infection!

Shelby, sorry things are so uncomfortable! Good vibes : still on your test results!

Selena, how is it going? Hopefully everyone is getting settled into a good routine and things are going well!

Aviva, sorry for the lack of sleep - no fun! I wake up between 5 and 5:30 every morning, and have for a few weeks now. Hopefully you can get some down time in somewhere today!

AFM, hopefully an ultrasound and appt today, but Maya woke up with a fever, so I may have to skip rather than expose the office to whatever she has! Wish me luck on something working out!

Have a good morning everyone!

post #756 of 849
congrats Sage

we are busy, trying to get in a routine but it is slow coming. i find my self short tempered with lilah. and i am definately getting touched out. between the baby and lilah constantly wanting to nurse, i couldn't handle her touching me anymore last night. she wants to have full body contact and rub me. my skin was just crawling.
post #757 of 849
Hi, I just wanted to check in. I've made it to 35.5 weeks! Only 1.5 wks to go and then I can breathe a sigh of relief. I'm feeling pretty good, just the normal stuff. Hugs to all who are still hanging in there and those who have made it already!
post #758 of 849
Selena, I completely feel for you! When Maya was born I just had to get away from Michael sometimes because he was just so overstimulating! It eased up for us after the first week some, then a lot by the end of the second week. Hopefully things improve for you soon there too!

I just got some good news - my hematoma is gone!!!! I am a little concerned about Ana's growth though, as she only measured 25th percentile today, and was 37th percentile last time, and I am not sure what the time before, but it was over 37th. My doctor isn't that concerned, but when we started the growth ultrasounds she said we were looking for a decrease in growth, and that is what we are seeing. So I get the impression that she just doesn't want me to worry, as there isn't anything to do at this point. When I pushed the issue she just explained the decrease as probably the variance of estimating, and that she was still on track to be a 7lb baby, which is what we expected, so we will see. No more ultrasounds scheduled after this, but maybe in another few weeks to a month I will see about having one just to be sure. But my bp was still good and protein was still just trace, so the pre-e concerns are at a minimum too! Some good news and some not so good I guess, but I am glad the hematoma is gone and I get to pick up Maya again!

post #759 of 849
great news christy!!!
sending you hugs, sage, hope youre feeling MUCh better. shelby, glad your not freaking over tests. no news is usually good news. sara, no news today, wondering if youre in labor?

thanks to whoever posted about the pelvic blah blah whats it called. i looked it up and i definately have it. i just assumed it was a byproduct of bedrest, that everyone would be in shrieking pain through their pelvic bones if they had to stand after sitting. i have it much less if im horizontal but bedrest has been lifted slightly and its gotten much much worse.

good vibes to all you gals...
post #760 of 849
No labor yet. Yesterday I had a fever and felt terrible all day, but the doctors waited on induction because they wanted to see more clear evidence of infection in the fluid. They did move me down to labor and delivery from the much, much more comfortable perinatal floor. Frustrating, especially as nothing happened here that couldn't have happened there. In the middle of last night, my left ear started hurting very badly. Makes me think all of the fever may have been about an ear infection, not an infection in the fluid. Good news, although at this point in all honesty I would be relieved if this pregnancy was done. Everyone is pushing for a few more days and a few more days, but it's so hard.

I am feeling more painful cramping and contractions, so labor may be close.

Christy - how sweet to be able to pick up your kids again. Does it seem like Maya has grown so much while you had to take it easy? I'm sure my boys will feel huge when I finally can pick them up in a few weeks.

Shelby - Did you get your test results?

Holly - Sorry to hear you are in pain.

JPaige - You've made it so far. Good news. Are you hoping for a homebirth after 37 weeks?

For everyone waking up early in the morning - I know this sucks, but it could be worse. Enjoy these quiet moments before your babies are here.

I wake up every morning at 5 am to a wise-cracking lab technician who sticks me with a needle to take a blood sample. Of course they can't do this quietly. One tech last week made a joke about how we have 3 kids in 4 years as a result of not having cable TV. The tech this morning was laughing about how it would be really bad if he managed to kill me me by taking my blood. And then told me to have a "beautiful and happy day".

So here's to another beautiful and happy day of hospital bed rest.
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