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Getting it over with

post #1 of 20
Thread Starter 
Well, I should have posted in here a long time ago I guess. The reason I was afriad to, and please don't flame me, is that I do not believe in taking anti depressants amongst other things. I guess it is hard to admit to one's self I guess.

I have written posts to introduce myself in this forum, but I have never actually posted them. I am having severe anxiety, worse lately. When something is mentioned that stresses me out I have panic attacks.

What I've noticed lately is that when the source of my stress goes away, the stress still stays. THe layers build up and compact and then when I am reminded of a 'past' stressor, I still have stomach flip flops and chest tightening. The worst part is, dp gets stress out by mentioning it all the time. I feel like he harps on stuff and says things just to torture me, which of course he isn't.

I can think of a million stressors to list, but it will make me freak out, I am getting upset as I type this. I feel like the walking dead sometimes, totally unmotivated. My dd is such a joy, she is the only thing I feel like getting up for soemtimes. The way she wakes with a smilemakes it bearable to drag myself up out into the world.

I feel isolated, I have many online friends and a large MDC playgroup that I can count on, but I don't feel comfortable sharing this with them. (Of course they can all read about it here.)

I am also working on a theory that ppd is genetic, my mother had it too.

Anyway, I am rambling, I just thought I should say hi, I'm suffering along with you right now.

Lauren
post #2 of 20
Welcome Lauren...

I know exactly how you feel...and I felt the same way about taking meds. However, things go so bad, I finally caved in to the inevitable. I can say now that I really don't know what I was afraid of (meds, I mean). I feel SO much better and think so much more clearly.

Talk to you doctor or a nurse that you trust. Don't be afraid to admit the problem - it can only get better if you ask for help. That's the first (and hardest) step.

post #3 of 20
Thread Starter 
I haven't taken so much as a tylenol since I knew I was pg, saving one trip to the emergency room when I was practically dying, so I don't think I will be looking for any meds. as the dd and gd of psychologists, I know many other places I consider safe to turn for help. For me, western medicine is about the last place I would go for help. I don't think pdd is normal, and i dont' think a generalize prescription is the answer for me, although I do respect your experience. Thank you fo ryour support.
post #4 of 20
Lauren,

I'm finally glad that you had the courage to hit the send button. I have a couple things I want to start with. First, depression in general DOES have a genetic link. Many of the women in my family suffer from various types, my mother included. Recent research has been able to closely isolate where the genetic disposition is located, and someday soon, they will be able to test for it and find those who are predispositioned.

Secondly, PPD and depression are not "flaws" in charactor or personality. Depression in whatever form is a chemical imbalance in the brain. It is a physical disorder much the same way that diabetes is a physical disorder. Sadly, most of the general population don't understand what depression is and see it as a weakness in a person that they can correct themselves by simply "snapping out of it." Not likely.

Antidepressants are used to correct the physical, chemical imbalance in the brain so it can start to function correctly again. They are not evil, they are not mood drugs, they are not addictive, they are not uppers. Their sole job is to correct the imbalance in the brain. Going on an antidepressant does not tie you to taking it for life. Many people will take it for the 6 to 12 months it takes to correct the brain chemistry, and will never need it again. Some people will have relapses over their life, and some suffer from a specific form of depression that is always there, and they may take it for life.

I highly encourage you to do whatever you have to do to get yourself back on track again. Do a search in this thread for natural remedies for depression. Search the web for things that you can take that will naturally combat the disorder and see what works for you. Find a therapist and get started in counselling, it can make a world of difference. Just don't let what happened to me happen to you. Don't let yourself get so sick that your body physically gives out and you end up in the hospital for six days. At that point, you won't have many options besides antidepressants.

I'm certainly not pushing meds on you, I just highly encourage you to take steps NOW to start getting healthy again. I suffer from depression with anxiety and that anxiety can quickly get out of control. The tightness in the chest you mentioned concerns me, because it was those types of symptoms that signalled the huge downward spiral that I headed into. Unfortunately, I didn't realize what was wrong with me (I thought I had some sort of heart disease that was causing the symptoms) and my doctor was no help. It only took a matter of months for me to get so sick that I could no longer eat, care for my kids, and at the end, even get out of bed. Help yourself however you need to before you get there.

Let me know what your searches turn up for natural methods. Mystichealermom uses a system called Truehope that you might want to look at. Her post has a link in it. It might be an option for you. If you decide to use something like that, I still think that you could benefit from counselling. It sounds like you could use someone to talk to.
post #5 of 20
Thread Starter 
Thanks for all the info, Jish. I know that depression isn't a character flaw. Thanks for the info about genetics, I want to look into that more. When I say I don't *believe* in taking antidepressants, I mean I don't believe *I* should take them. I respect everyone else's experience and their knowledge of themselves.
Lauren
post #6 of 20
xoxo mwah!
post #7 of 20
hi, veganmama,

i didn't notice your breastfeeding status in your post, but here is a book to consult:

MEDICATIONS AND MOTHERS' MILK, 10TH EDITION, by thomas hale, phd.

this is a new edition, which gives positive suggestions for antidepressants for nursing mothers. new in this book is The theoretic infant dose, the lactation risk category. you can get it through LLL or perhaps check it out free at LLL meeting. you can order it from any bookseller with the title and author.

if you have an appointment before you can find it, i would take some time to talk to a couple different pharmacists on the phone about which antidepressants are ok for nursing mothers. ask them how the drug works and why it might be more or less likely to be in your milk. talk to more than 1 person for good information.

i think you will find this information empowering, if you haven't already sought it.

MAGNESIUM i'm sure you have had lot's of suggestions on different supplements to take. i have a lot more anxiety and tension and pain and insomnia when i don't have enough MAGNESIUM.

i like the cheap store brand, beacause it's soft and i can break it in half, which i often do.

try this: full glass water with 500 mg calcium and 250 mg magnesium at bedtime. another glass water with magnesium only when you get up in the middle of the night. which you will from the first glass.

i'm having deja vu, because i'm pretty sure you had a post this summer about bad headaches, and i gave you the same advice.

headaches can definitely be a sign of low magnesium.

take this experiment seriously, it might really help. doctors dismiss simple solutions liketaking appropriate minerals, but find out if your anti depressant should be taken at a different time of the day than mineral supplement. take your main cal-mag at night , because it will help you sleep better. take more in the day, as needed.

we're all behind you.

rrr
post #8 of 20
Thread Starter 
Thanks Pam.

My breastfeeding status is that I almost exclusively breastfeed a 10m/o dd. I will look into the magensium, I haven't been taking any supplements lately, and I know I really should, especially considering women are getting osteoporosis at age 20 in this country.

I can say almost certainly that I will me looking for alternatives to traditional medication, but thanks for the info for sure.

I appreciate all the support.
L
post #9 of 20
Hey sweetie!


Welcome, and I am glad you finally hit that send button!

There are many "natural" remedies for PPD. It *IS* a chemical imbalence. There are many herbals that can be used to bring you back into balence.(I can't name specifics, but I know many people have had success)


I wanted to welcome you and wish you good luck. This is a hard thing to confront....
post #10 of 20
hi Lauren

I am with you on the use of anti-depressants. They can help, but I always think at what cost to your body? I did try them with dS1, but don't want to again. I have successfully tried homeopathy to help with PPD- it worked just as well as the Paxil. Right now however, the homeopathy just doesn't seem to be doing it, so I am in the same position as you. I may try acupuncture and take extra vit B as that is supposed to help.

I know how you feel, as I feel isolated with this as well, even though I have some wonderful friends who I know would be happy to talk about it. It just scares me and it's hard to admit. This community helps though. Stick around!
post #11 of 20
Veganmamma, I understand where you are coming from with the no meds thing. I feel like as long as I can mostly function in my daily life, I'd rather try other means than pharmaceuticals. If it got to the point where I could not take care of myself or Kaia, I would seek out other help. But I am mostly very functional, I just get blue really easily. I get mired in my funk and while I can manage to feed, change, and play with the baby, I can't always get it together to get out of the house, run errands, call places I need to call, clean the house, etc.
I find that it helps me tremendously if I take flax seed oil every night before bed. It helps me function on a higher level and it also seems to be stopping the massive hair loss I was having post partum, but that might just be a time thing.
I also find that going out without Kaia occasionally helps. I have a women's group that I get together with every other Thursday for 3 hours. It means pumping for Kaia, but it's worth it in terms of reconnecting with other adult women and talking about something besides the kids.
You might also try a gentle nervine herb, like oatstraw, and see if that helps.
post #12 of 20
Lauren,

I had depression in pregnancy and was able to muddle through with a homeopathic remedy. The remedy didn’t work post partum so I asked my doc about anti-depressants. My primary care doc is also a homeopath and he said “I don’t buy the hormone argument – all women have hormonal changes post partum, but not all have depression. You need to figure out why you are one of those women with depression.” That advice sent me on a search and I ended up at a chiropractor’s office. In the year since I have been working with her my life has changed so much for the better. I have been treating a systemic yeast infection and working on a mild heavy metal detox. Today I am collecting a urine specimen to test for amino acids. I feel like we are missing a piece at this point but, at the same time, I am so glad that I took this approach. I imagine that medication would have helped me feel better, but I would not have found out the other problems that we contributing to the depression. Best of luck to you.
post #13 of 20
Hi veganmamma,

I treated my PPD without drugs, so I know it can be done! It took a long time though, probably longer than it would have with the drugs, but I am vehemently against them for me. I also had severe anxiety mixed with the depression.

Part of my deal turned out to be residual childhood issues (it really is all about my mother, aha) so I went to therapy, and have been going now for 10 months. It was/is really helpful and my therapist respected my decision not to take anti-depressants (so it is possible to find a therapist like this - I live in Cali though, but I think you do too? So you can prob. find one too.)

So my therapist worked on two things with me: first she taught me a few techniques for dealing with the anxiety attacks, like breathing and centering stuff, and she made a sort of list of things that would help, and second we then worked on my issues.

She said that one of the most important things, if you aren't going to take anti-depressants, is to get daily exercise, not like running 10 miles a day, but just getting outside, and biking or running or getting your heartrate up somehow, for like 30 mins or and hour or something. But it needs to be almost every day. Another thing is yoga. I swear the yoga is sometimes better than the therapy!! So I make myself go to yoga every week at least once, even if I don't feel like it.

She also talked about nutrition, which is supposedly easy for me, I'm vegetarian, we eat organic as much as possible, whole grains etc etc. but you know, when I am depressed and not liking myself I will start to eat like crap. Kind of subconsciously on purpose to punish myself or something. So just being mindful that wanting to eat crap probably means that I am slipping toward depression.

Oh and no coffee or other caffeine! Really bad for the anxiety. And lots and lots of water.

And go out on your own, I know it's hard, but it is really ok. My ds never had a bottle either, it gets easier when they can drink water or juice from a cup, you can go out for like 3-4 hours once in a while, especially once she is walking and talking more you will feel better about it. It's not that you don't want to be with your child or that you don't love your child, it's that you neeeeed to have your own space too and your child needs a not depressed mama. I'm not trying to be harsh here, this is what I wish someone had told me.

There's more, I'm sure, but I hope this will help you for a start.

Oh yeah, my ds is 28 months now; I had PPD/PPAnxiety for at least 18 months without help, and I feel like I've been not depressed for about 4-6 months now. So don't wait as long as me! I am seriously so much happier, and I enjoy my ds more. You know if they say that it takes up to a year to regulate your chemistry with anti-depressants, give yourself at least a few months to start feeling better without.

Auugh sorry so long, but this is a topic near to my heart

Jenn
post #14 of 20
good work and good advice, water.

here is some exciting depression info:

www.newtreatments.org/depression

if that doesn't work, go to google, and then

magnesium and depression

first you will see one called rapid recovery from depression using magnesium treatment.

this is a different site by the same guy. both are worth reading. in the one called rapid recovery, he recommends magnesium taurate. in the one at new treatments, he discusses post partum depression and suggests magnesium glyconate.

i am going to look for that. i have a lot of help from magnesium oxide. and i also have magnesium carbonate, which i don't like as well. he says that both of those are less well absorbed by the body and that's why you have to take more to feel an effect also why it can cause diarrhea in some people.

veganmama knows i have been bugging her about magnesium, but here's the experience of a depressed person who is very enthusiastic about magnesium.

there are other mentions of magnesium and depression you can see from the google.

magnesium won't hurt you or your breastfeeding baby. it's essential to blood and bone, etc.

there's another site called the magnesium deficiency catastrophe.

let me know what you think.

rrr
post #15 of 20
Lauren, I don't have much to add but I wanted to give you a
post #16 of 20
Thread Starter 
Thanks everyone, for the support. rrr, I have gone out and gotten myself some magnesium.

I am also taking daily walks with dd. I think that is helping. I'm also asking for hellp more often, I have a tendency to try to do everything myself. Thanks again, everyone.
Lauren
post #17 of 20
lauren, did you find the website i was suggesting?

he had so much info about the different kinds of magnesium. i'm definitely going to try the magnesium glyconate.

there was a lot there. i'm going back to read what i didn't have time for before.

i'm sure you think i'm magnesium-crazy! it's just that the benefits are not widely understood and the medical profession isn't known for suggesting the simple thing.

sleep well, rrr
post #18 of 20
Lauren,

Do you have a Trader Joe's near you? they sell an excellent B12/B6/Folic acid supplement that is taken sublingually (under tongue). Taken by this route; approximately 90% is absorbed opposed to 5-10% when taken in tablet form. It has made such a difference!

Of course; other companies sell this too. But TJ's sells 100 tabs for $7.99
post #19 of 20
woops, i was spelling it wrong. magnesium glycinate. i got some today at the nutritional supply. she explained that the glycinate is an amino acid, which makes it easily absorbed.

the woman at the store says she takes a magnesium that has B6 in it. she takes 2 magnesiums at 500 mg each for a total of 1000 mg! wow! it's magnesium oxide, which is cheaper, but sometimes causes diarrhea. not for me, tho. she said she skips the calcium supplement altogether, but eats mineral rich food. more choices.

rrr
post #20 of 20
Lauren.

You might want to look into getting your vitamin D levels tested. On the advice of an awesome nutritionist, I had mine tested, and they were frighteningly low. Nursing moms are generally deficient in vit D.

I've had great results in the week I've been taking vit D supplements. I know you're vegan but maybe you could achieve the same results with targeted UV therapy.
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