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Get to Know your Neighbors CHALLENGE! - Please join me!  

post #1 of 46
6/14/08 at 6:41pm
Thread Starter 
This is the most appropriate forum I could think to put this so let me know if it really should go elsewhere.

I am beyond frustrated at the suburban attitude that your neighbors are just people who live near you. Why do we spend all our time driving to see friends on the other side of town? Why do we go out and buy a weedwhacker when we could work out some sort of time-share arrangement with the neighbor who already has one? Why don't people look out for each other anymore? Why can't our neighborhoods be community networks of friends rather than just...people we may have met?

Anyone with me?

I am not a very outgoing person and it is TOUGH for me to make friends, but if somebody doesn't try to build community in my neighborhood it's just going to continue to be a wave-on-the-street-and-go-back-inside sort of place. So I need some support. Let's institute a getting to know your neighbors challenge. Also, what are the hindrances to making friends with neighbors and how can we overcome them?

I will make the first challenge. Something easy and small to start. Introduce yourself to a neighbor you don't know!

Go!
post #2 of 46
6/14/08 at 8:04pm
I need to do this. I don't live in a suburb though, I live in the city. I actually have a neighbor across the way (sort of like across the street but not a street if that makes sense lol) who is so nice. She knit dd a blanket when I had her at home... she is all friendly and stuff. It isn't that I am not nice to her (I am!) but I should make more of an effort ya know? I should invite her for coffee or something. Yeah, I suck
post #3 of 46
6/14/08 at 10:16pm
It probably depends alot on where you live & the actual neighbors you have.

I've been friends with my neighbor across the street for 9 years. Our oldest kids are 3months apart. Her parents live next door to me.

The neighbors who live on the other side of me have lived there for 7 years. Mildly speaking I hate them, mostly him & his friends. Their youngest & my oldest are in school together. They're fixing their house up to sell & move far away, but we've heard this from them before. Nobody in this neighborhood will miss them. Dh hates them too. He speaks to them though. They do provide entertainment at times. Dh will lend them things, or offer them to use our things.

The people behind us are older folks, but they're friends with the other neighbors on the other side of us.

We're courteous to most of our neighbors(except the idiots next to us). A year ago a girl(5) around the corner was diagnosed with leukemia. The neighbors donated stuff for their garage sales to raise money for travel fees.

I do travel around to visit people in other parts of town, but that's because they were either friends before we lived here, friends who lived in thier area but moved to a different area, or friends of my kids(those one are mostly out of town).
post #4 of 46
6/14/08 at 10:42pm
I saw your subject heading and wanted to pass it by, but I know this is a goal of mine too. I'll get back to you after the weekend and let you know if I met your first challenge of introducing myself to a neighbor I don't know. Fortunately, it looks like new folks are renting the place next door-- good excuse to say hi, right?
post #5 of 46
6/14/08 at 10:52pm
Thread Starter 
You guys can post challenges too, and we can all encourage each other to do things to make our neighborhood more of a community.

We just went on a walk and we said hi to a couple people who were out but didn't really strike up a conversation with anyone. Some new people just moved in down the street and I need to go over and say hi. Soon.
post #6 of 46
6/14/08 at 11:37pm
What timing! Our neighbors across the street just hosted a block party on their front lawn/driveway. So I met a bunch of neighbors all at once! I don't remember any of their names, though. (I'm bad with names!) At least it will be much easier to talk to them again if we are just going for a walk or something.

Anyway, a good idea for you serious neighbor-meeters. She just made a little flyer saying she was having a block party and people could sign up to bring food/drink. Put a bunch of chairs & tables out and that was it. I was impressed by how many people came!
post #7 of 46
6/14/08 at 11:56pm
Wow, just today I talked with six of our neighbors without even trying. One of them offered to take any hazardous liquids we might have to a special drop-off day at a local high school and one I gave an extra hydrangea bush to. We've been here a little over a year and we know everyone on either side of our block.

I LOVE where we live.
post #8 of 46
6/15/08 at 12:45am
i should do this. my husband is pretty good at that kind of thing but me, not so much. we just moved here 2 weeks ago so thats a good excuse right?

when is time up o nthis challenge?
post #9 of 46
6/15/08 at 8:22am
I will join you and thank you for posting this!
I just moved into a neighborhood that is brand new to everyone. I have decided that I really truly want this to be a friendly neighborhood where everyone knows each other. I do not want to be head of the HOA for lack of time. But I have decided to head up the neighborhood watch. I'm organizing the first meeting in a couple of weeks. Also I have decided I will gauge interest in a welcoming committie since there will be new ppl moving in as the houses continue to be built. Even if no one else wants to be a part of that then I will do it. I will take a goodie with the N.W. info which will include a list of neighbors. I hope to help make this a community where we have block parties, neighborhood garage sales. As well as one where we are friendly and look out for each other. I hope to have a neighborhood like back in the good ol days where you can borrow eggs and sugar. I am very excited about this. My dh thinks I'm silly, but will go along for the ride. We already take nightly walks and meet and greet everyone that is out front their house at the time.
post #10 of 46
6/15/08 at 11:37am
I was one of the first ones to move in here and I brought cookies to the new ones (at first) but if they don't talk, what to do? One cannot hold a one sided conversation for long. And we have invited for dinner, but not gotten as much as an invitation for BBQ back. I don't expect much (no 6 course gourmet meal) just come over for coffee! I have invited and I am nice (I think). For one I collect mail when they ask me, I love their dog (really well behaved), but no, nada, niente, rien, nichts, nothing...

Rather sad.

However, I am not above going to the neighbors to get their huge ladder (they are sooo expensive things, and we only needed to use it twice)...

So, as a German, I like to invite people over (at around 3PM) just for some coffee, tea, what have you and some cake, cookies, whatever... That's the equivalent of Mommy's after school snack...
post #11 of 46
6/15/08 at 12:24pm
What a great idea! We've been here for a year, and I've barely talked to any of the neighbors.
post #12 of 46
6/15/08 at 12:41pm
I've been thinking about this a lot lately. I live in an apartment complex with about 200 units. I've been here 4 years, but I know none of my neighbors beyond the people immediately next door to me. I really want to try to reach out to meet other people in the complex, but I don't have a clue how to go about it.
post #13 of 46
6/15/08 at 2:00pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
when is time up o nthis challenge?
Hmm, I dunno...Monday afternoon?
post #14 of 46
6/15/08 at 5:14pm
Thread Starter 
Well I did my challenge. Met the neighbors down the street. They have a son 1.5 years older than mine.

But they were leaving so we didn't talk long.

I realized that everyone's "challenges" in their neighborhood might be different depending on where you live. I'll wait till Monday afternoon to come up with another challenge, unless someone else wants to jump in.
post #15 of 46
6/15/08 at 10:40pm
dh and i were all set to bring dd next door to meet the new neighbors and she started yawning profusely. so, we napped instead. later, no one was home. but, tomorrow still counts!
post #16 of 46
6/16/08 at 9:04am
I have managed to meet 5 neighbors. But I have to admit I am so horrible with names. I need to start coming home and writing down their names. I think doing the Neighborhood watch will make all the difference in meeting the neighbors.
post #17 of 46
6/16/08 at 2:55pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by takebirthback View Post
But I have to admit I am so horrible with names. I need to start coming home and writing down their names.
That's what I do. Luckily now at least the weather is fine (rather hot) and we meet some Mommies and their kiddos at the play-ground, since I have a great view of the play-ground I can even go there when I see someone...

Will they think me mad?

Or maybe they are just as starved for some neighborly love as the rest of us???
post #18 of 46
6/17/08 at 12:20pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by takebirthback View Post
I have managed to meet 5 neighbors. But I have to admit I am so horrible with names. I need to start coming home and writing down their names. I think doing the Neighborhood watch will make all the difference in meeting the neighbors.
Wow! Five neighbors, way to go! Yeah, I always write the names of everyone down when I get back home too. I've actually been considering carrying around a pad and pen so we can exchange names and phone numbers if they want : or would that be too weird?

Did anyone else meet the challenge? If you need more time that's ok but don't take too long!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Christine&men View Post
So, as a German, I like to invite people over (at around 3PM) just for some coffee, tea, what have you and some cake, cookies, whatever... That's the equivalent of Mommy's after school snack...
That's a wonderful idea. Should that be our next challenge? So, do you just go up to someone's door, knock, and invite them over for later that day, or right then, or do you invite whoever happens to walk by, or how exactly does it work?

I also liked the idea of the block party but I am afraid nobody would come in my neighborhood.

Quote:
Originally Posted by aquarian View Post
What a great idea! We've been here for a year, and I've barely talked to any of the neighbors.
We are in that exact same situation.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Christine&men View Post
Will they think me mad?

Or maybe they are just as starved for some neighborly love as the rest of us???
Probably both! I worry about what people think too but I am really trying to get over that. I do wonder sometimes if everyone else is just as lonely as me but what if they're not and they're thinking, "What a desperate weirdo"?
post #19 of 46
6/17/08 at 6:12pm
Our neighbors are great, actually, but we don't see much of them. My new thing is offering to pick up milk "or anything" for them at the grocery store when I go. I have a 3 year old and my closest neighbor has 4 kids and gas is so expensive...so far, no one has taken me up on it, but I will keep trying!
post #20 of 46
6/17/08 at 11:32pm
Today at the library storytime (4 blocks from us), I invited a mama I didn't really know but who lived near us over for pie after lunch. Around 1:30, she and her kids came over, had some pie and played for about an hour and a half with my kids. It was really cool.
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Mothering › Forums › Natural Family Living › The Mindful Home › Get to Know your Neighbors CHALLENGE! - Please join me!