Mothering › Mothering Discussion Forums › Parenting › Ages and Stages › The Childhood Years › Asked to leave GS event...because I had my 9 week old w/ me in sling
New Posts  All Forums:
 

Asked to leave GS event...because I had my 9 week old w/ me in sling

post #1 of 73
6/14/08 at 7:06pm
Thread Starter 
I was at my oldest dd Girl Scout Jam Camp today. I have a 9 week old son, exclusively bf'd but really don't think that matters here, and I had told her troop leader eons ago when we registered and I was still pregnant that he would have to be with us.
Well half way through the day I happened to walk past the day's organizer and to make a long story short, my son and I had to leave. No siblings allowed...no exceptions under any circumstances. The organizer said it was bceause if she allows one, she has to allow them all, and because he wasn't a reg. GS insurance wouldn't cover him if he got hurt (BTW myself and none of the other mothers are reg GS either, so that malarkey) Oh and my dd is a Daisy so she had to have a parent with her.
So my daughter cannot go to events because she has a baby brother?
What message are we sending these girls? Mothers are second class citizens? Babies don't need to be with their mommies?
Had it not been for the fact that I would have mortified my daughter and her entire troop I would have sat on a bench and made security remove me ... but there's along way to go before she is out of school and I don't want to cause her problems already. So we left.
But I am livid and depressed. My dd is a 4th generation GS, I LOVED Gs's but then again my sisters were able to come with me to everything that my mother did. So now, because i have a larger family my kids are going to miss out? I'm sorry I'm just venting....
Right now I plan on writing letters to anyone and everyone I can think of, and i'm considering pulling her out of scouts. Her troop is great, but do I really want to be a part of this kind of organization? I was supposed to be assistant leader next year, but now that certainly won't happen.
Alright I'll step down now. Anyone want to start a rogue gs like organization that is actually family-friendly?

You may also like:

What NOT to Say to Newly Pregnant Mom
Read Mothering's Newest Articles and Blogs
There Is Not Always a "Fix" For the Difficult Child
post #2 of 73
6/14/08 at 7:11pm
What?!! That is totally WRONG I would write. Can you start a letter complaint that people could send the national GS groups because this is so ubsurd! I was thinking about DD and DS being into the scouts but we have two younger ones and this makes me not so sure. I'm so sorry
post #3 of 73
6/14/08 at 7:11pm
I'm skeptical that infants were intended to be included in that rule. I think the letter-writing thing (or maybe better, a phone call to whoever is in charge of your whole district) might be a good idea.

I'm sorry that happened to you. My daughter just bridged from Daisies to Brownies and I've seen babies at lots of events.
post #4 of 73
6/14/08 at 7:12pm
Oh no! That's terrible! I'm so sorry for you, mama. It really stinks to be in a situation that you really feel very strongly about and you want to stick to your guns for change, but feel like you can't because of sensitivity to your daughter's emotions.

Write your letters mama! I want to know how it turns out! I think there is a pagan scouts-like organization, I don't recall the name of it though. They might be a bit more inclusive if you lean that way at all.
post #5 of 73
6/14/08 at 7:33pm
Well half way through the day I happened to walk past the day's organizer and to make a long story short, my son and I had to leave. No siblings allowed...no exceptions under any circumstances. The organizer said it was bceause if she allows one, she has to allow them all, and because he wasn't a reg. GS insurance wouldn't cover him if he got hurt (BTW myself and none of the other mothers are reg GS either, so that malarkey) Oh and my dd is a Daisy so she had to have a parent with her.
So my daughter cannot go to events because she has a baby brother?
What message are we sending these girls? Mothers are second class citizens? Babies don't need to be with their mommies?
Had it not been for the fact that I would have mortified my daughter and her entire troop I would have sat on a bench and made security remove me ... but there's along way to go before she is out of school and I don't want to cause her problems already. So we left.
But I am livid and depressed. My dd is a 4th generation GS, I LOVED Gs's but then again my sisters were able to come with me to everything that my mother did. So now, because i have a larger family my kids are going to miss out? I'm sorry I'm just venting....
Right now I plan on writing letters to anyone and everyone I can think of, and i'm considering pulling her out of scouts. Her troop is great, but do I really want to be a part of this kind of organization? I was supposed to be assistant leader next year, but now that certainly won't happen.
Alright I'll step down now. Anyone want to start a rogue gs like organization that is actually family-friendly?[/QUOTE]

This is exactly why we are not involved in GS--and I have four living daughters. I too was told no younger sibs. I can't hire a sitter for every GS meeting and event. Can't afford it.
post #6 of 73
6/14/08 at 9:24pm
Write letters!! Go all the way to the top! That is ridiculous.

I and another mom were talking with GS about starting a Brownie Troop, and the GS rep looked at my 2 yo and said "Siblings are not a problem, they can attend" so that seems pretty clear to me!
post #7 of 73
6/14/08 at 9:33pm
When I was in eighth grade, our entire GS troop morphed into an Explorer post because the leaders (including my mom) were tired of the GS rigid rules. It may not be the case here (a 9w/o in a sling??) but it's a pervasive issue elsewhere.
post #8 of 73
6/14/08 at 9:41pm
At one of my daughter's daisy activities, we were told "no siblings" as well. I did email the organizers and I don't remember their exact reasoning. I did inform them that some people would not be able to come because of this. I also said that if my youngest child (age 3) was still nursing or in a sling that we would be there no matter what. I have no clue what would have happened if we showed up, but I found the whole thing dissappointing. Parents were not required at this activity, so the leaders could have driven the girls to the activity and the parents could have stayed with the siblings. I organized a paydate at my mother's gym for the siblings at $5 a child. That worked pretty well. I totally agree with you that it is a pretty poor rule.
post #9 of 73
6/14/08 at 9:57pm
I'm a GS leader, and yes the council's rule are very rigid. Though this rule only applies to council events (not troop meetings or troop outings). With the logic being the event could 1) possible not be safe for different age siblings. 2)To be a special event for just the adult and GS, so the parent doesn't have to divide their attention between dc. 3) On some trips adults act as chaperones and the extra dc would change the required GS ratios.

Even GS of a different age group are not allowed to "tag-along".

OP it's the leader's fault for not making the parents aware of the rules.

Just to clarify, the council buys extra insurance to cover the non-scout adults at events such as these and I'm assuming you didn't register your infant hence not being covered, (otherwise someone at the council should have spotted it)
post #10 of 73
6/14/08 at 10:04pm
Could the rule be changed to say something like "Babies in arms", I mean a 9 week nursing babe is certainly much different it's an extention in my opinion of the mother. She could not be at an event without her nursing infant. I think that's what get's me. You should write the letter explaining that unique situation as they might have no clue as to what that situation is really like. Seems like something needs worked out.
post #11 of 73
6/14/08 at 10:13pm
We find other things to be a part of. not user friendly
post #12 of 73
6/14/08 at 10:16pm
Reminds me of when I was told my 4-week-old son, Noah, was going to be charged to go into the IMAX theater, even though he was 4-weeks-old and asleep....
post #13 of 73
6/14/08 at 10:19pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kiddoson View Post
We find other things to be a part of. not user friendly
Like what? What other scouting-type options are there for little girls. And it really breaks my heart because GS has always been so important to my family.
post #14 of 73
6/14/08 at 10:21pm
That's just absurd. A 9 week old baby- where else should he be?
post #15 of 73
6/14/08 at 10:22pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nathan1097 View Post
Reminds me of when I was told my 4-week-old son, Noah, was going to be charged to go into the IMAX theater, even though he was 4-weeks-old and asleep....
Wow. Please tell me this was just an ignorant employee, not their actual policy?
post #16 of 73
6/14/08 at 10:53pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by ollineeba View Post
Wow. Please tell me this was just an ignorant employee, not their actual policy?
I also think this was a mistake-most theaters say under two is free.
post #17 of 73
6/14/08 at 11:01pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by srlpenny View Post
Like what? What other scouting-type options are there for little girls. And it really breaks my heart because GS has always been so important to my family.
http://www.campfire.org/start.asp

http://www.rootsandshoots.org

Just throwing a few ideas out your way...good luck!
post #18 of 73
6/14/08 at 11:05pm
As much as it broke my heart, we dropped out of girl scouts this year for a similar reason. ALL adults had to be registered members to even attend a meeting or outing and NO siblings were allowed under any circumstances. Couple that with a leader who only focused on fundraising- cookie sales,okay. Cookie sales at the mall with the leader yelling at the kids to sell, not cool. Magazine sales with a nasty call to say we didn't meet the quota- BUH BYE

I'm not sure if the insurance thing has scared many councils but I feel like it has veered far from the organization it once was. Maybe you could post a note at your library to form a like minded girls group? Our library had a kid's knitting club for a while that eventually morphed into a really cool group. (I think the leader must have been an MDC reader. She was completely rad.)
post #19 of 73
6/14/08 at 11:09pm
I used to direct a girl scout camp, and as far as I know, it really is an insurance issue, although it is a really awful one that should be resolved. I also wanted to mention that the way your daughter's membership paperwork was written, an adult is usually registered for each family, even if you're not a leader or involved in any other way like that. It's easy to not even notice that you're registering yourself along with your daughter.

My best advice, if you can swing it, is to consider being a troop leader. It's easier to bend the rules if you take the troop to non-girl scout properties, and no one is breathing down your neck that way, but your daughter and her friends can still enjoy all the benefits of the program, and you'll have more control over messages like these.
post #20 of 73
6/15/08 at 8:21am
Here's another GREAT alternative to GS- which I participated in and WON'T ALLOW MY GIRLS TO DO. EVER.

http://www.spiralscouts.org/ ALL siblings are allowed to attend- even if they have moved on in rank.
New Posts  All Forums:
 
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: The Childhood Years

You may also like:

What NOT to Say to Newly Pregnant Mom
Read Mothering's Newest Articles and Blogs
There Is Not Always a "Fix" For the Difficult Child
Mothering › Mothering Discussion Forums › Parenting › Ages and Stages › The Childhood Years › Asked to leave GS event...because I had my 9 week old w/ me in sling