I'm sorry this was so upsetting for you! Please don't drop out of Girl Scouts over this!
Rules about insurance and who is allowed to attend are annoying, but they are there for the safety of the girls and liability coverage of the organization. Your daughter's leader misinformed you, so it's not your fault this happened, and the organizer should have been nicer about it. Write to the council, explain what happened, and ask for a very clear explanation of their policies about who may attend council events. If this ever happens to you again (you're already at an event when you're told you or your baby are not allowed) ask to sign a waiver saying that if you/your baby are injured you will not hold them liable.
Seems to me the best option for your family, for events where your daughter really is required to bring an adult (see below), is for her to bring her dad or another adult other than you, until your baby is old enough that you can be away from him.
From the time my son was born until he was 22 months old, I did not attend overnight or long-day council events with my troop because I couldn't bring my son to them. (I did attend events a few hours long, by pumping.) However, when we camp as a troop or with our community (region of the council), the rules are looser: I could bring my son as long as he didn't take an extra bed and, once he was eating solids, I paid for his share of food.
So, you still could be assistant leader next year, but when the girls want to go to a council event, you tell the parents you are unable to go and someone has to volunteer (and register, unless there's special insurance) to make this possible for the girls. I always was able to get a volunteer.
|(BTW myself and none of the other mothers are reg GS either, so that malarkey)
Actually, for council events that parents attend, the council buys additional insurance that covers ADULT attendees. You were covered; your baby wasn't. She just didn't explain that properly.
|Oh and my dd is a Daisy so she had to have a parent with her.
Daisies are required to be accompanied by a parent only for overnight events. The council may have had a special rule for this event...but if so, that implies that they were expecting parents to be very involved in the activities. Nursing a baby, changing his diapers, maybe having to take him outside if he's screaming, all are distractions from one-on-one activities with your daughter. My son before he learned to crawl was so non-disruptive of our troop meetings that I almost forgot he was there...but in a 14-hour day, he would've had at least one difficult spell that required my full attention.
As a toddler, my son began wanting to do what the girls were doing or to do something else with my help ("I want a drink of water" "Get out the markers and scissors and tape for me" "Play tigers with me") so my usual policy now is that he attends Girl Scouts only if his daddy can be with him. That doesn't make me (or him) a second-class citizen; it makes me an effective leader.
|So my daughter cannot go to events because she has a baby brother?
No, your daughter needs to bring an adult who does not need to bring the baby. Did the council or her leader specify that ONLY a girl's legal mother could accompany her?
|I also wanted to mention that the way your daughter's membership paperwork was written, an adult is usually registered for each family, even if you're not a leader or involved in any other way like that.
This is not the case as far as NATIONAL registration, the one tied to the insurance, is concerned. If you did not fill out a separate form for yourself and pay $10, you are not registered. There's no "automatic registration of an adult" like this in the council I'm in now or the one where I grew up.
|I guess I don't get the insurance thing bc wherever the event is held, that place will also carry insurance.
If it is a Girl Scout camp, it won't. Even if it is another place that has its own liability insurance, it has arranged the event with Girl Scouts with the understanding that all the people they're bringing are covered under their insurance.
|Girl scouts is supposed to be about the girls, not their moms-- it is a shame that the policy wasn't explained when it should have been, but if the camp was planning for each Daisy to have an adult assistant, a woman who is already busy caring for an infant may not be able to fill that role.
I attended a community camp to which a leader had brought her baby, and it turned out that although he was nursing and thus couldn't be away from her, he also was accustomed to having his daddy rock him to sleep and to not being moved while sleeping. She had a very rough time getting him down for his nap and for the night and getting him back to sleep after his several night wakings, and she had to stay with him the entire time he was sleeping. This made her unavailable to lead her troop for two hours during afternoon activities and for the evening campfire--these things were outdoors or in other buildings. Baby's screaming in the middle of the night woke all the other leaders and some of the girls in their lodge. Her co-leader was very upset, and I don't blame her! They didn't have enough adults with the troop to enable one of them to step off the job for hours at a stretch.
I hope you'll address this incident with the leader and council, but I hope you'll also stick with Girl Scouts, demonstrate good mothering of an infant when it's appropriate to bring your infant, and step aside (or leave him with Daddy, when he's older) from those few times when it isn't. If this troop leader hassles you about having your baby with you at any time, find another troop.