8-year-old wants to know...

[Nathan1097]

"Mom, why do some moms cut the skin off their babies' penises"?

This was after she asked me what her labia were, and I took the opportunity to explain to both her and her younger brother the difference between boys and girls, as he'd asked me this yesterday. I told them that her labia covered the hole the pee comes out of, just like the skin at the very end of her brother's penis did the same thing. She didn't say "foreskin". Just "the skin". Interesting choice of words.

[DocsNemesis]

My son asked this when he was 6 and wanted to know why our neighbors son *looked funny.* I told him what circing was (since he didnt have a clue at that point) then went on to explain that they used to do it all the time but they know better now-and his friends mom probably just didnt know better and thought it was better for him. Basically I tried to say it isnt needed but she wasnt trying to be mean or something. Actually this is the same lady that after my dh talked to, was absolutely shocked about the change in attitude over it and felt bad she had it done (I think she was older as well, in her early 40's? Ok older compared to me, lol)

[perspective]

Originally Posted by DocsNemesis

(I think she was older as well, in her early 40's? Ok older compared to me, lol)

yeah, lol even for me 40's does not seem "old" just someone in that ambiguous "adult stage".

[DocsNemesis]

Well, if you think about generational wise...her generation still had almost all boys circ'd and it was done without thinking, you know? My mom is just a little bit older than her and insisted that it was needed, even AFTER I showed her all the info to the contrary. Of course, she was also a nurse in the late 70s and absolutely insisted that the circ'd she saw were never like the ones I've seen and the babys *never* cried. Yeah, my a$$. Maybe she has PTSD from seeing it and shes blocked the memories or something.

Anyway, I know a lot of parents my age who looked into it or just thought it seemed silly to do and didnt get their kids circ'd. I mean, not everyone obviously, but still....and it wasnt something anyone got made fun of in my schools either, just curiosity and questions, nothing negative. (My intact brother in laws had the same reaction when they said they werent circ'd, lots of questions, but no name calling or anything-the other kids were genuinely curious). Hopefully this trend will continue with further generations

[enstar780]

I think its important to tell the truth about circumcision. While, yes, the mother may not have wanted to be mean or cruel to the child, that does not mean that circumcision was not mean or cruel to the child, that it didnt hurt him. Its important to understand that this inflicts serious trauma and damage to the infant and deprives the boy of his human right to a whole complete body. It is a total violation of human rights, a crime, and is contrary to all concepts of humanity, kindness, non violence, compassion, and respect for the dignity and the rights of the person. I think if we act like there is nothing wrong with it, we send a wrong message, when we need to make it clear that cutting off a normal part of a persons body is totally wrong and it is something we cannot allow. that it is not acceptable. Circumcision inflicts ghastly and severe trauma on an infant and disrupts normal psychological and physical development of the child.The terrible pain, this horror and torment, the violence, the betrayal, will be imprinted on the poor boys psyche forever.

[Arduinna]

As an American woman in her 40s who has had intact partners and has a BFF that is married to an intact partner, I do not see this as generational but subcultural. There were always intact subcultures in the US. And there still are. We talk about circ being done automatically but there were always parents that managed to keep their kids intact, even in the supposed automatically done 50s and 60s.

By far the vast majority of mainstream parents still don't give circ a second thought unless they are from an intact subculture or have been exposed to it in one way or another.

[DocsNemesis]

Just wanted to say...my son knows the truth. He has seen a circumcision done and knows how badly it hurts. (And this wasnt on purpose, he just happened to see it) He knows that his dad wishes he wasnt and that his uncles are intact. He knows there is no reason for it and again, he knows how painful it is. I didnt have to make his friends mom out to be some evil person either though....however, he knows I'm mad at his *aunty* (we just call her that, I'm not related to her, lol) for circing her sons. I wouldnt be surprised if he confronts her on it some day....or if her boys themselves do. I mean, really, when they grow up knowing their biological mother didnt want it done and her own kids are intact and she was GIVEN the info....well, I think I might be questioning my mom too.

[DocsNemesis]

Forgot to add....I was the egg donor for her boys, thats why I said biological mom. I dont see myself as their parent AT ALL, but it doesnt change the whole biological factor