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loosing it  

post #1 of 12
6/15/08 at 12:12am
Thread Starter 
My DH honestly has NO ability to comfort our children. He does not in anyway attempt to soothe them and it is driving me crazy. Me and my boobies can not possible be the only thing that will ever calm our kids.
I am at my whits end, when I seriously need a break, I hand one over only to have to listen to them scream because he has NO COMFORTING TECHNIQUES.
This is for both little ones, but mostly for Link he thinks crying=hungry=not his problem.

ok im done - time to attempt some precious sleep
post #2 of 12
6/15/08 at 12:37am
I'm so sorry! I hope you are able to get a bit of rest. Are you able to leave the house? Maybe he'd be forced to come up with something without you there as a backup.
post #3 of 12
6/15/08 at 10:46am
I feel your pain and I'm sorry you're going through it too
post #4 of 12
6/15/08 at 10:48am
I'm sorry, maybe I can set up a rental plan for my DH. He is pretty good at taking care of our little one. Usually before I hand off our little girl to my DH I nurse her so I don't have to worry about her needing her milkys for a while. Then I go off to take my shower or do what ever it is I have been wanting to do. The shower is great because DH has to take care of her until I get out. I just nursed her and I won't be in the shower for long so if she cries he does not have any excuses and just has to work something out for a few minutes. You might want to try that out with your DH.
post #5 of 12
6/15/08 at 12:18pm
that must be so frustrating. Everyone needs a break sometimes-- especially nursing mamas. I hope you managed to get some sleep, at least.
post #6 of 12
6/15/08 at 12:42pm
Thread Starter 
We had a talk about it last night and with Leif (our 2 year old) he says that any time he "tries" to comfort him it just gets worse to its better to just pretend he is sleeping until he gives up. This can last for 30-45 minutes on a bad night, but always at least 15 minutes of hysterics. With Link, in his mind, the only reason for him to cry is out of hunger and so there really is nothing for him to do. Every time he hands him back to me to re-feed he always needs a diaper.
UGH
post #7 of 12
6/15/08 at 4:31pm
I have no advice, but I sympathize. My husband is pretty useless at all things baby-related so far, though he does make efforts to help in other ways (laundry, making dinner), so I guess I still have it better than my grandmother did.
post #8 of 12
6/15/08 at 5:15pm
I can totally relate. My DH is a "one-trick pony" if his first attempt at comforting doesn't work he gives up. He has actually handed mer our son while I was on the toilet peeing! Other times he has brought the baby to wherever I am and they will stand there staring at me while DH makes comments like "there's mommy!" or "there's your food" to try to rush me.
post #9 of 12
6/15/08 at 5:27pm
Ugh! I feel y'all's pain!!

Do any of your DH's let you have some "me time" (like 5 mins, lol) but then when the baby starts crying nonchalantly brings the crying baby into the same room while you're brushing your teeth (or washing out shampoo, or wiping, lol)...Like, "Oh, fancy meeting you here and look the baby's upset!"

It drives me CRAZYYYYYY!
post #10 of 12
6/15/08 at 6:01pm
DH is great with our oldest but not with the new babe. Our new baby cries whenever anyone but me holds him. DH and I talked about it because I was worried he didn't love baby Leif. It turns out his feelings were hurt. He thought the baby didn't like him so he just didn't want to be around him.

Now that the baby is a bit bigger and smiling at him all the time, he's bonding better and more apt to take him when he's crying.

I'm so sorry, I can't imagine not having help with 3 kids. I'm grateful DH will take Rune when he's upset.
post #11 of 12
6/15/08 at 8:47pm
I feel you, too GQ....

My dh is trying, but definately not making the grade over here either. I have a haor appt on Saturday and he will be left to figure it out for himself then...should be interesting.....

Hugs to all you guys....women ROCK---where would our families be without us???
post #12 of 12
6/17/08 at 12:50pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by bubs8 View Post
I can totally relate. My DH is a "one-trick pony" if his first attempt at comforting doesn't work he gives up. He has actually handed mer our son while I was on the toilet peeing! Other times he has brought the baby to wherever I am and they will stand there staring at me while DH makes comments like "there's mommy!" or "there's your food" to try to rush me.
Thank God I am not the only person whose DH does this. I got a third degree tear at DD's birth so going to the toilet is an interesting experience and can take some time to do. The other day DH stood outside the bathroom with DD screaming and I actually heard him sigh impatiently.........

I have three kids under 5, I don't even ask for "me time" but if I need to open my bowels without splitting my stitches, please try not to rush me!
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