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Stepmother still at it. - Page 3

post #41 of 43
Thread Starter 
HI I just wanted to say thanks for all replies, it is still being worked on. Ds is here with me though and doing fine. I have talked to DS stepmom about what happened, in a civil way and she has apologized and agreed not to ever talk about me again or say those things. Which I dont believe, but at least she did apologize to me and to him. So the peace is there for now.
post #42 of 43
Catholic, Lutheran, and Jewish Social Services all have counseling on a sliding scale. As a child and teen I was abused emotionally by my father's wife. My father did nothing to stop it, which is abusive in it's own right. I finally had an emotional breakdown. My mother brought me to a counselor. The counselor had a talk that went somethng like this: "Courtenay will no longer be going to your house. You may see her anywhere and anytime you would like to see her, as long as it is not at your house and your wife is not present. If you feel the need to fight this in court, I will testify on her behalf." He knew that he would not win in any way with abuse documented by a counselor. SO he agreed. I do not know that that would completely work in this case, but I would STRONGLY suggest that you seek free/sliding scale counseling for your son. He will need this for quite a long time, if my experience is any indicator! There is a LOT of crap that goes along with a father who doesn't care about their child enough to intervene in an abusive relationship being perpetrated by their spouse. I would strongly suggest that while he IS with you, you surround your son with MANY strong positive male influences--guys who love him because of who he is, not because they are blood relations. When he grows up, this might help him come to the realization that there were men who loved him because he is special, not because blood "required" it of them...and that his father is the one who lost out.

DO try to seek out counseling for him. There are many sources of low cost or free care, you might have to look for them, but they ARE out there. And they WILL stand up for your son, if it is necessary.

Getting taped proof that the behaviour is occuring can be very helpful, by the way, if you can figure a way of doing it. We finally got my father's wife's psychotic behavior recorded when she started pranking our house more than 60 times a day for years on end. We finally figured out who it was when *69 was invented...and then reported her to the phone company, who got the cops involved, who tapped her line and ours, and then the courts got involved. Free of charge. Not that this woman is making prank calls, but that if you can get proof, it can get other people involved who can help you. Your standing up for your son will in the long term be a very VERY good thing for him emotionally. I can not stress enough how damaging this can be to a child or a teen ager.

This would be the case, by the way, were it perpetrated by a mother, a father, a cousin, OR a father's wife.
post #43 of 43

Please See Sticky At Top Of Page!!

By the way, Mamas, thank you for supporting this mother.

For those of you who don't think she belonged here, please see the sticky at the top of the page. This group is NOT all Step-Mothers. It is for parents who are in any part of the Blended or Step Family. Thank you for respecting that, and for being respectful to parents who are coming here for support.

It is understood that some of you would prefer to have a "Step-Family Only" forum. That is not going to happen at this time. Thank you for respecting the boundries in this forum if you wish to continue to post here.


Warmly,
Courtenay_e, Moderator of BLENDED and Step-Family Parenting
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