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Playgroup in Tucson - Page 121

post #2401 of 2509
Another week of missing the ladies! Too much random stuff happening right now! And after next week we go on a road trip for a week, which I am all wound up about. I keep fearing that my old dog, Kenai, or another one of the animals will experience a sharp decline in health when I'm not there.

Hopefully next week will give us time to unwind at the park!
post #2402 of 2509
Quote:
Originally Posted by BeccaBaby1 View Post
Park? Maybe.

We got some health news about both me and the wee babe yesterday that will probably turn out to be nothing, but I guess it stressed me out enough to give me loopy dreams all night and an off day all day.
I'm sorry, Becca... I hope everything is ok! And I hope you make it to the park, sounds like you need some company and relaxing!

Quote:
Originally Posted by OliveJewel
And after next week we go on a road trip for a week, which I am all wound up about.
Lisa, are you guys road tripping to Montana for that wedding?

Everybody, I want to shout from the rooftops right now. Carter slept through the night last night!!! At 23 months, this is an absolute first for us. The last couple weeks he has gone down to nursing only once a night (and then at 5:/5:30 before sleeping a little more), and last night he went to bed at 9 and is still sleeping now at 6. When I got up to pee in the middle of the night he scooted so he was sideways taking up the entire bed (except for the small 1-ft. section Rob had claimed), and I was so excited he was still sleeping that I just curled up at the end of the bed like a puppy and slept there the rest of the night. Even if this doesn't happen again right away, I know it's possible!!! :
post #2403 of 2509
becca~hope things turn out just fine! sending good vibes your way.

sarah~you are a saint and a half for not sleeping through the night for 2 years! get that sleep train rolling!

no park for us. the truck will be fixed today but this weekend is moving day(s) and i still have lots to pack (and lets hope the amount of boxes i have is enough....) Thankfully m/s is mostly gone but the tiredness is still around.
post #2404 of 2509
Jen-

Were not going to make it after all
I think me and Z may have colds...don't want to share that.
hopefully next week!

Ayn
post #2405 of 2509
Sarah, that's awesome that Carter slept through the night! Woo-hoo!

Yes, we are going for my cousin's wedding at Sealy Lake. I know it will be beautiful, but I am starting to really turning into a homebody.
post #2406 of 2509
Yay Sarah! My kids mostly sleep through the night now, but we still sleep together so I always wake up at some point to move someone over

Jen, is the clothing exchange intended to just be at the park during park day, or are you wanting to do it at another scheduled time?

I don't have many clothes to bring but I do have some random puzzles and other kid stuff that I can contribute, but I wouldn't want to do it with the kids involved. None of it is stuff they are attached to, it's been packed away for months but I know if it surfaces they'll want it and we just really need to purge some stuff.
post #2407 of 2509
we can do it at a different time!

ooooh, we could do a moms night swap and bring toys.... or a weekend or something.

I havent been without my kid(s) in over two years.... so it might be worth doing since I am going to see new moon sans kids.

lol

when I type that out... it seems insane.

yowza
post #2408 of 2509
that would be awesome!

hey, you will wont really be sans kids at new moon either!
post #2409 of 2509
what if we see a midnight viewing- isnt there a fancy curfew or something in tucson???



jared still doesnt believe I am going to leave the kids. He obviously underestimates my edward obsession.... either that or he is right and I will make him walk around the mall for two hours
post #2410 of 2509
i have been going through my whole house finding stuff to bring for the swap. can it be a 'whatever' swap? I don't have a lot of clothes to bring but I have craft stuff, candle holders, puzzles, bags etc...nothing terribly fancy or exciting, but stuff nonetheless.

i swear i am constantly de-cluttering and i can't believe how many things i can still find to get rid of. and having a deadline (even if it isn't confirmed yet) really helps!
post #2411 of 2509
Quote:
Originally Posted by Serendipity View Post
i have been going through my whole house finding stuff to bring for the swap. can it be a 'whatever' swap? I don't have a lot of clothes to bring but I have craft stuff, candle holders, puzzles, bags etc...nothing terribly fancy or exciting, but stuff nonetheless.

i swear i am constantly de-cluttering and i can't believe how many things i can still find to get rid of. and having a deadline (even if it isn't confirmed yet) really helps!

i think it should be a whatever swap..... for sure.
post #2412 of 2509
My guy has been horrible to live with since the baby was 2 months old. Everyone said it's a 3 year old thing. Assaults on the baby, screaming, tantruming, non-compliant. I have posted so many times on the gentle discipline board, talked to everyone I know that has 3, 4 and 5 year olds. Read books ranging from "Your 3 year old, Friend or Enemy" to "Raising your spirited child." I also made several calls to the Parent Connection over the last several months. Nothing was helping and I was living in fear of what my 3 year old would do next.

And I finally found the solution. My son has turned back into the gentle soul he was before the baby was born. He is polite, compliant, and, most importantly, he has stopped assaulting the baby. (I almost hate to say all this because I fear it will be undone.)

Two main suggestions and one minor third suggestion I got from the Parent Connection have worked wonders.

1. When he attacks the baby, I pick her up, say to my guy, "When you can play gentle with the baby, let me know and you can play together again." I don't get frustrated, I don't pull him off her. I am calm and removing HER, not HIM from the situation. Sometimes I voice for her, "So you're afraid when your brother hurts you."

At first his response was to immediately scream, "I'll be gentle now." At which I'd set her down and he would be gentle. In time he stopped saying that and I even stopped saying anything to him, I'd just pick her up. Though sometimes I would voice for her, "Your arm hurts where it got pulled."

2. I stopped telling him what he was doing wrong. No more, "Don't jump on the couch," "Leave the dog alone," "No throwing balls in the house." I tried to not do that for 48 hours. The woman said I should also ramp up the positive reinforcements, "Wow, you just went potty all by yourself," "Thank you for helping your sister stand up," "What a generous boy for sharing your yogurt." I've always done a lot of positives so that wasn't so hard. Anyways, I tried no negatives for 48 hours. What I found is his behavior didn't change. He was no worse without me pointing out everything he did wrong. So why was I constantly telling him what he was doing wrong? I went a couple more days like that and his behavior started getting better. We've been doing this for about 2 weeks and it's like I have a different child. It's unbelievable.

3. I started reading books about sibling rivalry.

His favorite:
http://www.amazon.com/Franklin-Harri...1868417&sr=8-1

He also likes:
http://www.amazon.com/Darcy-Gran-Don...1868457&sr=1-1

http://www.amazon.com/Lapsnatcher-Br...1868484&sr=1-1

I've told him any time he wants time away from the baby, all he has to do is ask and I will move her. I've honored this every time and it's helped. He doesn't ask that often, but I figure better he feels supported by me than he hits/pinches/pushes her.

The theory behind the first two steps is that kids ache for attention. Whether it's true or not, if they can believe they won't get it for positive reasons, they will do what they need to in order to get the attention. If that means misbehaving, they will misbehave to get negative attention.

Kids still need guidance so when I absolutely have to say something, I will tell him what to do and then will often leave the room. So when we were at my parents and he was jumping from couch to chair, I said, "The rule is chairs are for sitting on," and I left the room.

It's REALLY hard to not constantly tell your child what they are doing wrong. Yet once I got out of that cycle, he stopped doing wrong stuff. I asked the woman at the Parent Connection how long it would take to see a difference. She said it depends on how consistent I am on making this change. He has to come to believe that I will not give him attention for misbehaving.

Hope this helps anyone else struggling with a non-compliant, difficult, possibly aggressive 3 (or other age) year old.
post #2413 of 2509
Oh geez. So we fired our employee on Sunday (long list of unreliable topped off by no call no show..) and my computer has been down on top of working a ton extra. I feel very out of the loop! What time are people coming to the park tomorrow? I'm going to try really hard for it. Alina has been coming to work with us but begging to see her friends.
Pam, Alina has been the same way with Aurin and I have tried so many ideas in an attempt to calm her aggression! Nothing has worked. I went away for two nights about a week ago and after returning, she has been acting worse than she was before. It is so frustrating. I will try your suggestions and see what happens!
Becca, I hope you're feeling well and hearing good news. :
Sarah, omg congratulations on sleeping through the night! :
and Lisa, don't worry about your skinks at least! Let us know if we can do any more to help with the critters if you're stressed about it at any point.
post #2414 of 2509
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ligeia View Post
Pam, Alina has been the same way with Aurin and I have tried so many ideas in an attempt to calm her aggression! Nothing has worked. I went away for two nights about a week ago and after returning, she has been acting worse than she was before. It is so frustrating. I will try your suggestions and see what happens!
This really has been a miracle cure for us. It's really hard, though, not to get emotional when your 3 year old is attacking the baby. Then, it's hard to not want to stop all the other behaviors by simply saying "Don't do..."

Yet once you get into the groove, it is SOOO much better.
post #2415 of 2509
Pam, I read an article this morning and thought of you. Anthropologist David Tracer studies the Au culture in Papua New Guinea. Over there the babies are carried until they walk--they never crawl. The closest thing they do to crawling is exactly what Baby A did which is scoot on their butts in a sitting up position. And the kids never have problems with neuromuscular or neurological development. Crawling is only possible in safe, clean environments, not dirt floors with burning embers and chicken poop on the ground. So crawling may have only been possible in the past one or two hundred years! Now people are re-thinking the way we look at child development, realizing that basing all the "milestones" on Western infants in the 20th century may be a bit skewed!

Thanks for all the info about A and A. Some great suggestions.

Hannah, thank you for easing my worries. So sorry about the employee stuff!
post #2416 of 2509
Hi friends.

This sibling talk is making me nervous for the next year or two. I'm glad you found something that is working Pam. Hannah, hope you can find peace with your two also. And sorry about your employee.

I need to start digging through cupboards and closets to get ready for this swap. Any dates yet?

Life is getting busier over here. I'm going to be working part time at the office and also watching a little girl every other Thursday morning. So, I want to get to the park tomorrow since I don't know how many park days I'll be able to fit in later. I think I'll show up around 9 or 9:30. Come everyone, come!
post #2417 of 2509
We prob won't make it to the park tomorrow. Saturday we leave for Montana and I want to be here to prepare.
post #2418 of 2509
I am thinking that we may not make it to park tomorrow....
last week was a bit much and we are regrouping.
post #2419 of 2509
Have you seen this video? It's graphic.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7rdV9ADjpcg

My husband and I have decided no more cell phones while driving.
post #2420 of 2509
Becca, we were hoping to get to the park tomorrow so we will be there at about 9 as well. Pam, I'm afraid to watch your video...
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