mammapoppins, I will check out that book.
annettemarie, you do not suck...you are a busy person! I know you luv me.
Wow, do I hear you on the things your mom should have taught you, but still tryingto figure it out cuz well, she didn't...cuz she wasn't there or had checked out emotionally.
And I have looked at my kids when they reached the ages we were when she left and all I could think is "HOW could she just LEAVE us???"
I saw my kids at 13 and 17 and realized that my brother and I were still KIDS! We needed our mother...and she was off partying and reliving her carefree, childfree years.
Well, my younger son hasn't hit 17 yet, which by the way, them turning 13 and 17 were triggers for me...my oldest turning 13 was a HUGE trigger. I didn't know what had hit me, and ended up a mess, back in therapy and thank goodness my therapist explained triggers to me. I had no idea where all that ANGER had come from when I thought I had forgiven and moved on. I was FURIOUS at my mom and of course, she ended up moving down here during that time! It was not pretty.
Oh, and sometimes I get frustrated with my kids...this is bad...but even if I am not a great mom, and I am not cuz I feel like I am flying by the seat of my pants...I am HERE! I haven't LEFT! Don't they know how important it is that I DIDN'T LEAVE?
You all know me, some of this post will be edited later.
This is a messy, personal topic...it seems there are several of us and really it is something that hits on such an elemental level...how do you explain to someone who hasn't been there what it is like to be left by your mother? To try to BE a mother when your mother ditched out?